Using certain words that end in ly.

Quote by InnocentBliss87


I've been a little bothered when writing certain words in a story how come when you actually spell the words right,it comes back and says it's spelt wrong or a mistake in them I'll give you a few examples of what I'm talking about. example 1, drasticly horrifiedly example 2. frustratedly, Would i be able to use those words In a story?, I'm sure some can understand there meanings if would any story moderators accept those words in story??

I'm afraid that not all your examples are actually words in the generally accepted sense. These are possibly the correct words:

1. Drastically

2. Horrifically, or horrifyingly, or in horror, or simply, horrified

Or did you mean "drastically horrifying"?



3. Frustratingly or in frustration, or, the right context, frustratedly as an adverb



It may be that the context of what you're trying to do isn't correct. Or maybe it is. Can you please give whole sentence examples so we can get a better picture of the issue?

Quote by Shylass


I'm afraid that not all your examples are actually words in the generally accepted sense. These are possibly the correct words:

1. Drastically

2. Horrifically, or horrifyingly, or in horror, or simply, horrified

Or did you mean "drastically horrifying"?



3. Frustratingly or in frustration, or, the right context, frustratedly as an adverb



It may be that the context of what you're trying to do isn't correct. Or maybe it is. Can you please give whole sentence examples so we can get a better picture of the issue?

Quote by InnocentBliss87


yes can show you a little of what I am talking about,

(Karly began to calm down she glanced down at her watch.Karly gasped, horrifiedly, "Oh shit a brick I'm late!" she let slip silently under her breath, completely forgetting where was at the moment. She looked around carefully and somewhat embarrassed,And feeling as if she is being watched. She turned cautiously to see a lady serving at the at the lobby desk. "Oh I'm sorry I do not usually swear or curse." much she said.)

Quote by InnocentBliss87


yes can show you a little of what I am talking about,

(Karly began to calm down she glanced down at her watch.Karly gasped, horrifiedly, "Oh shit a brick I'm late!" she let slip silently under her breath, completely forgetting where was at the moment. She looked around carefully and somewhat embarrassed,And feeling as if she is being watched. She turned cautiously to see a lady serving at the at the lobby desk. "Oh I'm sorry I do not usually swear or curse." much she said.)

Thanks for the response. Please bear with me in this long-winded reply. Sorry if it doesn't help. I won't be offended if you can't be bothered to read it all. Or, just skip to the end for the list of tips! There are others far more experienced and talented than I, with all the technical words and stuff, but at least I added some little sunshine emoticons.



Aside from your issues with spellcheckers, I'm afraid there are multiple issues with your grammar, punctuation, and formatting, making it currently unsuitable for submission to Lush. A spellchecker is no help unless the basics are right. If I was going to accept this excerpt (bearing in mind that I'm not a mod), I'd be wanting to see something more like this:

Karly was beginning to calm down when she glanced at her watch. She gasped, horrified.

"Oh, shit a brick, I'm late!" she said loudly, completely forgetting where she was for a moment. She took a deep breath and gathered her thoughts. Feeling uneasy, she looked around, somewhat embarrassed. She felt like she was being watched. Cautiously, she turned to see a receptionist behind the lobby desk, staring at her.

"I'm really sorry, I don't usually swear," she offered, smiling sheepishly.

ORIGINAL:
Karly began to calm down she glanced down at her watch.Karly gasped, horrifiedly, ...

REVISED:
Karly was beginning to calm down when she glanced at her watch. She gasped, horrified.

ORIGINAL:
"Oh shit a brick I'm late!" she let slip silently under her breath, completely forgetting where was at the moment.

REVISED:
"Oh, shit a brick, I'm late!" she said loudly, completely forgetting where she was for a moment.

The word, "Oh", in this context, needs a comma after it. Also, there are two (little) sentences in that one sentence, so you also need another comma after "brick". This way, youur readers get the delightful vision of the agony of one's anus pushing out a rough cement block, and then a little pause for breath, before finding out why. Readers love imagery.

Next, if she slips the words silently under her breath, there is no need to worry about forgetting where she is (unless there's something else we can't see of the context). Therefore, I changed her words to being said loudly, so that this excerpt makes more sense for the readers. Otherwise, the following sentences don't make much sense. If she'd said it silently, she wouldn't attract attention.

Also, the word "she" is missing from between "where" and "was". I see an extra space there after "was", so I'm presuming that's just a typo (which a spellchecker wouldn't pick up, only a grammar check). Finally, I would write, "for a moment", as it seems less final than "at the moment". It's transient, passing. She forgot just for a second.

ORIGINAL:
She looked around carefully and somewhat embarrassed,And feeling as if she is being watched.

REVISED:
She took a deep breath and gathered her thoughts. Feeling uneasy, she looked around, somewhat embarrassed. She felt like she was being watched.

She turned cautiously to see a lady serving at the at the lobby desk. "Oh I'm sorry I do not usually swear or curse." much she said.

Cautiously, she turned to see a receptionist behind the lobby desk, staring at her.

"I'm really sorry, I don't usually swear," she offered, smiling sheepishly.

There are a lot of "she"s in writing. Sometimes, it can be too many. Remember I said that your readers like imagery? And we like to FEEL things? By putting the emotion or adverb, the way in which a thing is done or felt, it can raise the emotion and atmosphere for the next part of the story without taking away too much of the detail or more important matters.

Your sentence regarding who was behind the desk was a bit clunky, so I pared that down a little, and added that she was staring. otherwise, how do we know that's who was watching Karly? Maybe we don't, but the excuse she offers afterwards makes it seem like it was.

For Lush Stories, the generally accepted format of speech punctuation requires a new line when somebody who wasn't talking last, talks again. This helps readers who rely on computer screens to both keep their place, and not miss anything important that's said.

Finally, not everybody starts all their sentences with, "Oh". Well, some of us do. I use "Well" and "Anyway", even though I shouldn't. However, in a story, it takes away from the flow, and appears unnatural. Also, swearing and cursing can mean the same thing sometimes, and in this case, it keeps the sentence tidy. I also added in a little extra embarassment at the end, so the reader gets an image of Karly blushing with shining eyes, the way pretty ladies do sometimes.






I would suggest reading your story out loud to yourself. Print it out, and change the computer file as you go along. Reading it out loud can stop our mind reading what it WANTS to see, as opposed to what's there.

It also shows us when things seem a bit forced or unrealistic, especially in the dialogue. That's when getting a friend to read it with or for you can help too.




Tips for InnocentBliss87:

Slow down whilst writing, or do a really good read-through afterwards to get rid of broken sentences, grammar and punctuation problems.

Read the story out loud to find mistakes, repetition and awkwardness.

Spend time looking through the "Essential Reading" part of the forum. It will save time later, trust me! If a story is rejected, odds on, you will probably be directed here or to similar resources. https://www.lushstories.com/forum/yaf_topics32_Essential-Reading.aspx

Spend a few minutes trying to "see" your characters in your head, their looks, their feelings, their emotions, surroundings, noises. This will help you create a picture for your readers, if you can include words and images that create the same world you can see in your head.

Don't give up! For some, writing is easy (knobheads). For others, it is a seemingly never-ending slog. However, with enough hard work and perseverance, I have never yet seen anybody fail, who kept trying.

Quote by Shylass



There are a lot of "she"s in writing. Sometimes, it can be too many. Remember I said that your readers like imagery? And we like to FEEL things? By putting the emotion or adverb, the way in which a thing is done or felt, it can raise the emotion and atmosphere for the next part of the story without taking away too much of the detail or more important matters.

Your sentence regarding who was behind the desk was a bit clunky, so I pared that down a little, and added that she was staring. otherwise, how do we know that's who was watching Karly? Maybe we don't, but the excuse she offers afterwards makes it seem like it was.

For Lush Stories, the generally accepted format of speech punctuation requires a new line when somebody who wasn't talking last, talks again. This helps readers who rely on computer screens to both keep their place, and not miss anything important that's said.

Finally, not everybody starts all their sentences with, "Oh". Well, some of us do. I use "Well" and "Anyway", even though I shouldn't. However, in a story, it takes away from the flow, and appears unnatural. Also, swearing and cursing can mean the same thing sometimes, and in this case, it keeps the sentence tidy. I also added in a little extra embarassment at the end, so the reader gets an image of Karly blushing with shining eyes, the way pretty ladies do sometimes.






I would suggest reading your story out loud to yourself. Print it out, and change the computer file as you go along. Reading it out loud can stop our mind reading what it WANTS to see, as opposed to what's there.

It also shows us when things seem a bit forced or unrealistic, especially in the dialogue. That's when getting a friend to read it with or for you can help too.




Tips for InnocentBliss87:

Slow down whilst writing, or do a really good read-through afterwards to get rid of broken sentences, grammar and punctuation problems.

Read the story out loud to find mistakes, repetition and awkwardness.

Spend time looking through the "Essential Reading" part of the forum. It will save time later, trust me! If a story is rejected, odds on, you will probably be directed here or to similar resources. https://www.lushstories.com/forum/yaf_topics32_Essential-Reading.aspx

Spend a few minutes trying to "see" your characters in your head, their looks, their feelings, their emotions, surroundings, noises. This will help you create a picture for your readers, if you can include words and images that create the same world you can see in your head.

Don't give up! For some, writing is easy (knobheads). For others, it is a seemingly never-ending slog. However, with enough hard work and perseverance, I have never yet seen anybody fail, who kept trying.