I'm constantly wondering about the ideas of women in some erotic stories. I constantly feel that it is unrealistic to portray a woman
-- getting off on being called a "whore" or a "slut";
-- actually finding pleasure in sucking a penis to the point of seeking this activity out above their own pleasure;
-- calling their mouths or themselves as "cum hungry".
I understand the desire to please and temporarily acquiesce to a male fantasy of domination, but is it realistic to think women would thing and act this way normally?
I think in the heat of a moment of heated sex or roleplay a lot of woman would be aroused by the scenarios you describe. It's not simply acquiescing to male domination, but an active exploration of their own fantasies. Certainly not all woman. But enough so that it's not unrealistic.
Wouldn't you rather have a nice cup of tea?
I guess it comes down to suspension of disbelief. It's up to the author to make it feel real enough within the context of the story. Of course every reader is going to approach a story differently. What I find plausible, you might find ridiculous (or vice versa). So you can't please everyone, but something something self-pleasure.... I'll think up the rest of that later.
Don't believe everything that you read.
The first two things are very realistic. Dirty talk is hot. I don't know why. There's something about the heat of the moment that invites language that may normally be deemed insulting. Blowjobs are hot, too. Giving someone pleasure is a massive turn on. The third I'm not so sure.
As others have mentioned, I think the proper mindset is key to being able to enjoy dirty talk, especially if it is really filthy or would be degrading outside of the bedroom. It helps a lot if your partner is confident and can sell it. There are things I'll say and do in bed that I would not find hot during my normal day, but I'm naked and turned on so it feels good to just go with it in the moment. I really enjoy giving oral. In my experience the women and men that don't like to give/receive oral have usually had a bad experience or a bad partner.
As far as stories go, I read and get aroused by situations and kinks that I would never introduce in real life. If the author is good, then I can read and enjoy a story about just about anything.
dirty talk can make everything better. not like i'd want some random person to call me a slut at a dinner party, but in the bedroom with the right person, it's a total turn on.
You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
I can't imagine sex without dirty talk. A great partner can dish it out and is greatly turned on by taking it.
I feel like a lot of it is sloppy writing (no offense) because you can easily type something like, "fuck her in the pussy and cum all over that slut's ass" but saying it like "he purposefully slipped his erect manhood between the edges of her mound and with a resounding burst let his masculine cream cascade down the hills of her backside" is more artful. Erotica is about interpreting, and giving the reader a sense of imagination through articulation and switching up the verbs and adjectives. Also if anyone ever called me a dirty cumslut (or whatever) in bed I would probably knock them the f*ck out. Like surely you have more depth to your lexicon than dumb shit you would discover in a porno.
Sorry, my first response was a really insulting answer. Forget I wrote it. Sorry to MallardFiona.
Language like that could probably work if someone was trying to write Regency or Victorian style romance, but it's overly flowery for a modern work. There should be a middle ground between crass and flowery.
I think that yes, all three are reasonable and realistic.
Slut/whore isn't always negative in a sexual situation. You're getting a BJ... "Yes, take it... take it...." Your dick probes into her tight throat. "You beautiful, fucking whore."
Same with with cum-hungry. I can honestly say I've never used that term in real life, but I have said, "Baby, come over. I'm hungry for you."
The act of the BJ and the taste isn't what I enjoy. It's his reaction. And I have made a show of begging for the opportunity to give one, just because I knew it would drive him nuts.
Yep. All three are perfectly realistic. The first two are things that I have enjoyed recently and regularly. I have had a number of my female partners over the years who also enjoy this. As a note, it does not have to be a fantasy of male dominance. It can be a fantasy of female dominance, agender, transgender or nonbinary dominance, or just dominance because that's what the person is into.
I do really like sucking cock. Specifically, and personally. It gets me off to get him off. I have mixed feelings about cum in my mouth. Really depends on the human, if they have earned it, and of course, how their cum tastes. It might be worth noting that I like going down on women much more than men, and the point stands either way. Performing oral sex can be fantastic and amazing and arousing and satisfying. I sometimes like to get my partners off that way and then I can be done - as long as they are willing to reciprocate. I often find that men are far less appreciative, and it's that which turns me off about sucking cock occasionally, not actually the sucking of the cock.
I'll concede to that point. I just feel really awkward when I'm writing and it's overly crass. I think there should definitely be a balance.
I for one don't like the terms whore or slut. Too frequently they are applied to women you just like sex and like sucking and fucking. Whores and prostitutes are synonymous in my book - a woman who wants payment for giving out sex. Another word I prefer not to hear is cunt, especially when it refers to the women as a whole and not just to her pussy. Even there, I'd rather hear pussy, kitty or even vagina! Again, I have a negative feeling about the word.
As far as sucking cock, I love it. I love being able to get my man off orally. I love the feeling of his cock in my mouth and the feeling when he shoots his load into my mouth. I love the taste of his cum and eagerly swallow every drop. Truth be told, I don't really like facials or having him shoot his load ON me. I MUCH PREFER having his cum IN me. I love the feeling when I feel him shoot his load in my mouth, my pussy or my ass. It usually enough to push me over the edge. Mmmm...
Anyways, just my two cents worh.
One has to believe that their lovers are honest with them.
I can say truthfully that I have made love to a woman who absolutey enjoyed being called a "slut" and "whore" and actually initiated such language.
It's been a pleasure to give a lady all the cum she wanted to swallow when she was eagerly asking for it. I believe that particular woman really preferred giving me a blow job to other forms of sexual play. Even begging to swallow my cum when I was ready to ejaculate inside her. it was something of a gymnastic contortion to get my prick up to her mouth before cumming. Just had to squeeze it tightly before releasing it.
I've never had anyone come out and say they were "cum-hungry" but their actions indicated that they were.
I have to say, that having a woman talk dirty is the best thing ever. Dirty talk can turn a basic vanilla encounter into a super hot one.
I generally am the one to start it, but if a woman came out and started whispering filthy things in my ear..... It would be very very welcome.
As to the topic presented here, I would have to say that some of the dirtiest stuff I've done are from my true stories.
Truth is usually stranger than fiction.
In my own relationship (38 years) dirty talk is used, but never degrading. The use of cock vs penis, pussy and cunt vs vagina, are common terms used in our sexual play. We also both enjoy oral play--her sucking me or me going down on her--but again no derogatory references. I would never say "suck my cock, bitch" and I'm pretty sure if I did, the blowjob would be anything but pleasurable.
That said, we are also not in to pain or bondage. Of the people I know who are into these as elements of sexual play do occasionally like references to degrading terms. However, it is far more common for derogatory terms to be used for men in those situations.
I think women already face too many situations in real life where they are treated as second class to find 'abusive' language to be a turn on.
- Just my thoughts.
