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Realism in erotica

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speakingmusic
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In my own relationship (38 years) dirty talk is used, but never degrading. The use of cock vs penis, pussy and cunt vs vagina, are common terms used in our sexual play. We also both enjoy oral play--her sucking me or me going down on her--but again no derogatory references. I would never say "suck my cock, bitch" and I'm pretty sure if I did, the blowjob would be anything but pleasurable.

That said, we are also not in to pain or bondage. Of the people I know who are into these as elements of sexual play do occasionally like references to degrading terms. However, it is far more common for derogatory terms to be used for men in those situations.

I think women already face too many situations in real life where they are treated as second class to find 'abusive' language to be a turn on.

- Just my thoughts.
Pegasus4
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by Vanellus
I'm constantly wondering about the ideas of women in some erotic stories. I constantly feel that it is unrealistic to portray a woman

-- getting off on being called a "whore" or a "slut";

-- actually finding pleasure in sucking a penis to the point of seeking this activity out above their own pleasure;

-- calling their mouths or themselves as "cum hungry".

I understand the desire to please and temporarily acquiesce to a male fantasy of domination, but is it realistic to think women would thing and act this way normally?



I'm constantly wondering about the ideas of women in some erotic stories. I constantly feel that it is unrealistic to portray a woman

-- getting off on being called a "whore" or a "slut";

I must admit that I would never consider calling my wife a slut or a whore. We both consider them as being disrespectful. However, we have met other couples in a club where both the woman and the man use the terms to enhance their sexual adventures.

-- actually finding pleasure in sucking a penis to the point of seeking this activity out above their own pleasure;

My wife actually gets immense pleasure from 'sucking a penis', occasionally more than one at the same time. Giving oral to both men and women is not an act she seeks out above her own pleasure. It is something that she enjoys doing because of the pleasure it gives her.

-- calling their mouths or themselves as "cum hungry".

Again, not a phrase my wife or I ever consider using, although we have met other couples who do.

I understand the desire to please and temporarily acquiesce to a male fantasy of domination, but is it realistic to think women would thing and act this way normally?

Domination, male or female, is not a scene we find erotic but have spoken with and witnessed others at a party and in a club where the woman gets so aroused by being dominated.

We each have our own fantasies and what doesn't work for some will work for others. We enjoy the swinging lifestyle and both get immense pleasure from watching others, being watched and including others in our sexual adventures. Some would consider this as unacceptable behaviour.

Click Pegasus4's Profile (lushstories.com) to see my profile.

Click Pegasus4's Stories (lushstories.com) to see a list of my stories.

Pegasus4
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Quote by Lauradj


Could not the same question be asked for people who enjoy going down on a gal and eating pussy? The guy I'm with seems to enjoy it and seeks it out above his own pleasure sometimes. It even brings him pleasure, you know.


I couldn't agree more. Going down on a woman is something I am more then willing to do. It's not something I consider above my own pleasure. It's an act that gives me immense pleasure.

Click Pegasus4's Profile (lushstories.com) to see my profile.

Click Pegasus4's Stories (lushstories.com) to see a list of my stories.

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I agree with Pegasus. I do not like men who use "bad language" especially the C word but I do admit to having a "slutty" side.
I love sucking cock I love the response that it gets from my husband or my lover. especially the first time that you take a mans cock into your mouth. I love my pussy sucked its a natural part of sex to enjoy giving pleasure as well as getting it.
Domination is not everyones cup of Latte' and it can take many forms but it can be very erotic. I have been the sub and the Domme in these situations and all I can say is try it you may well find that you like it ;-)
Linn
XX
Carlos2112
Devil's Advocate
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Quote by Vanellus
I'm constantly wondering about the ideas of women in some erotic stories. I constantly feel that it is unrealistic to portray a woman

-- getting off on being called a "whore" or a "slut";

-- actually finding pleasure in sucking a penis to the point of seeking this activity out above their own pleasure;

-- calling their mouths or themselves as "cum hungry".

I understand the desire to please and temporarily acquiesce to a male fantasy of domination, but is it realistic to think women would thing and act this way normally?


This question can be answered to the satisfaction of many in one sentence, But I will use many sentences because I am verbose in such matters.
The short answer is that all erotic or pornographic or romantic creation, whether it's written or filmed or Morse code, is about fantasy and thus bears little resemblance to reality. (that's the short bit. here's where I become garrulous)

In this fantasy world women are constantly hungry for cum, begin to literally die without a penis in their mouths, and love being called a slut or whore more than life itself. In addition, they're angry, no, hateful toward their hubbies for having a small (as if he had a choice) unsatisfying thimble penis and the only remedy is to forego the marriage vows and seek out a gargantuan fire hydrant cock, usually black.
Almost as bad, is the hubby whose promotion forces him to travel 90% of the time thus frustrating his dear wifey, but being oblivious to her practically backing into door knobs for release is what truly pisses her off. This scorn comes with several avenues available to her. She can engage with her friendly neighborhood BBC, pick up a temp or long-term cheat mate who is OTB (other than black), have an affair with his boss, sleep with her stepson, sleep with her actual son, in one I read she began having hot nasty threesome sex with her son AND daughter (yea, that one was really hot and I'm not a big guy), or she can gather an ensemble of fun-loving boys and treat them to a good old fashioned gangbang. Let's see if I've got this right. She's neglected by her 1 husband so she goes out and screws 10+ guys, all of whom enjoy making her airtight and treating her like a $2.00 whore, making a habit of it from that point forward. That's like using a chainsaw to cut butter. You can end a loud party by nuking the city too. The word 'overkill' doesn't even show up to this discussion out of embarrassment.

All seems quite unlikely, but it's what we like. We're attracted to that which goes beyond our collective norms or surpasses the established range set before; we look up to it. It's why Superman has been around for so long or why we cheer and celebrate the winners of the super bowl and it's not just physical prowess. Stephan Hawking was a celebrated intellect, Whitney Houston a highly celebrated singer ...... and drug addict. Shit, I was hooked on dope years ago, nobody applauded my fucking bravery, but I digress.
It's the awe believers feel in embracing an all knowing, all powerful GOD; in all flavors too. Whether you favor the monotheistic single creator, the polytheistic eastern multiple deities, or the pantheistic transcendence of god being the sum of all creation even as far as the alcoholic's higher power that he/she clings to during recovery, they all share the fact that your focus is on something greater than you, and infinitely greater at that.

Somebody is going to freak thinking I likened belief in God to the enjoyment of porn and that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying our need, our inescapable mental and emotional need to value/praise/admire/label/judge/consent/worship/idolize/venerate/respect/marvel/wonder/adore/esteem will find an outlet and in erotica that manifests itself in the popularity of storylines that are possible, but unlikely. That's part of what makes them so hot, knowing it'll likely never happen to you.

Want proof? Go on Porn Hub and find some hardcore gangbang videos like Kink and DP Fanatics, especially the interracial stuff like Dog Fart and read the comments. You'll find hundreds of women (or men posing as women) leaving the same comment "wish that was me" and it never will be for several reasons, not the least of which is her lack of nerve to go through with it. I've filmed a number of sex scenes discretely for a for a select few friends. Some were gangbangs, two IR. Those women didn't wish, they searched for and arranged and scheduled and when the time came, they got brutally gang fucked which is what they asked for in writing. I believe I even filmed them being called slut, whore, and bitch if memory serves.

Ultimately, there is a danger in writing or filming the same behaviors which do not represent truth repeatedly. It's the human failing that has caused unimaginable suffering throughout history. When you repeat a lie often enough, it becomes the truth. Hearing the lie from many directions and over time brainwashes entire populations into believing a lie is the truth. I doubt erotic writings or pornographic films will dictate some future sexual doctrine because it has to overcome thousands of years of mental, emotional, societal, and religious conditioning, but a few will buy into a false narrative and begin parroting it. Besides all that, even if a woman wants to be called whore and slut while hungry for cum from the cock she's begging to have in her mouth, only one in a million would ever want it advertised.


Thank you if you made it this far. Please let me know if I'm wise or full of shit. It's hard to tell sometimes.
Carlos

P.S.THIS WAS NEVER EVER A SLIGHT, A CRITICISM, AN OFFENCE, OR AFFRONT AIMED AT ANY OF YOU TALENTED AUTHORS.

Are you kidding? I personally have derived immense pleasure & enjoyment from your continued contributions. What a nice way to say I often rub one out to your stories. See, you've made me a better writer and added to the currency in my spank bank. Win/Win
Truth be told, I think explicit erotic literature is more difficult to write than other genres because the writer has to deal with this exact realism question without it coming off contrived.



That which did not kill me didn't try hard enough
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I would like to point out that this (repeated) reference to terms like 'whore' or 'slut' as strictly a term of degradation is off base for a lot of women (and men) who enjoy giving and receiving these types of words and phrases.

For some who like it - it might be a fun, flirty turn on.

Or, as is the case for me, it's the act of taking a word that other people deem is offensive and making it your own - fuck what society tells you that you should FEEL about the word - make up your own appropriate emotional response.

I was raised in a religious family and we were always told how we should FEEL in response to words. And essentially we were trained to be offended by words by punishing us if we used those words, by banning the words.

I can't even remember the number of times I was fed a bar of soap.

I'm an author - I've been a passionate writer for more than 3 decades - I don't need someone else trying to tell me how to feel when I read a word or hear it. I'm capable of deciding for myself what's offensive, what's hot, and what's not.

So . . . just remember, what turns me on isn't about anyone else but myself. The factors in this equation is one.

If anyone thinks that some old prunny prude woman is who decides what words turn me on and what doesn't, you have lost your friggin mind.
Guest
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Quote by Carlos2112


This question can be answered to the satisfaction of many in one sentence, But I will use many sentences because I am verbose in such matters.
The short answer is that all erotic or pornographic or romantic creation, whether it's written or filmed or Morse code, is about fantasy and thus bears little resemblance to reality. (that's the short bit. here's where I become garrulous)

In this fantasy world women are constantly hungry for cum, begin to literally die without a penis in their mouths, and love being called a slut or whore more than life itself. In addition, they're angry, no, hateful toward their hubbies for having a small (as if he had a choice) unsatisfying thimble penis and the only remedy is to forego the marriage vows and seek out a gargantuan fire hydrant cock, usually black.
Almost as bad, is the hubby whose promotion forces him to travel 90% of the time thus frustrating his dear wifey, but being oblivious to her practically backing into door knobs for release is what truly pisses her off. This scorn comes with several avenues available to her. She can engage with her friendly neighborhood BBC, pick up a temp or long-term cheat mate who is OTB (other than black), have an affair with his boss, sleep with her stepson, sleep with her actual son, in one I read she began having hot nasty threesome sex with her son AND daughter (yea, that one was really hot and I'm not a big guy), or she can gather an ensemble of fun-loving boys and treat them to a good old fashioned gangbang. Let's see if I've got this right. She's neglected by her 1 husband so she goes out and screws 10+ guys, all of whom enjoy making her airtight and treating her like a $2.00 whore, making a habit of it from that point forward. That's like using a chainsaw to cut butter. You can end a loud party by nuking the city too. The word 'overkill' doesn't even show up to this discussion out of embarrassment.

All seems quite unlikely, but it's what we like. We're attracted to that which goes beyond our collective norms or surpasses the established range set before; we look up to it. It's why Superman has been around for so long or why we cheer and celebrate the winners of the super bowl and it's not just physical prowess. Stephan Hawking was a celebrated intellect, Whitney Houston a highly celebrated singer ...... and drug addict. Shit, I was hooked on dope years ago, nobody applauded my fucking bravery, but I digress.
It's the awe believers feel in embracing an all knowing, all powerful GOD; in all flavors too. Whether you favor the monotheistic single creator, the polytheistic eastern multiple deities, or the pantheistic transcendence of god being the sum of all creation even as far as the alcoholic's higher power that he/she clings to during recovery, they all share the fact that your focus is on something greater than you, and infinitely greater at that.

Somebody is going to freak thinking I likened belief in God to the enjoyment of porn and that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying our need, our inescapable mental and emotional need to value/praise/admire/label/judge/consent/worship/idolize/venerate/respect/marvel/wonder/adore/esteem will find an outlet and in erotica that manifests itself in the popularity of storylines that are possible, but unlikely. That's part of what makes them so hot, knowing it'll likely never happen to you.

Want proof? Go on Porn Hub and find some hardcore gangbang videos like Kink and DP Fanatics, especially the interracial stuff like Dog Fart and read the comments. You'll find hundreds of women (or men posing as women) leaving the same comment "wish that was me" and it never will be for several reasons, not the least of which is her lack of nerve to go through with it. I've filmed a number of sex scenes discretely for a for a select few friends. Some were gangbangs, two IR. Those women didn't wish, they searched for and arranged and scheduled and when the time came, they got brutally gang fucked which is what they asked for in writing. I believe I even filmed them being called slut, whore, and bitch if memory serves.

Ultimately, there is a danger in writing or filming the same behaviors which do not represent truth repeatedly. It's the human failing that has caused unimaginable suffering throughout history. When you repeat a lie often enough, it becomes the truth. Hearing the lie from many directions and over time brainwashes entire populations into believing a lie is the truth. I doubt erotic writings or pornographic films will dictate some future sexual doctrine because it has to overcome thousands of years of mental, emotional, societal, and religious conditioning, but a few will buy into a false narrative and begin parroting it. Besides all that, even if a woman wants to be called whore and slut while hungry for cum from the cock she's begging to have in her mouth, only one in a million would ever want it advertised.


Thank you if you made it this far. Please let me know if I'm wise or full of shit. It's hard to tell sometimes.
Carlos

P.S.THIS WAS NEVER EVER A SLIGHT, A CRITICISM, AN OFFENCE, OR AFFRONT AIMED AT ANY OF YOU TALENTED AUTHORS.

Are you kidding? I personally have derived immense pleasure & enjoyment from your continued contributions. What a nice way to say I often rub one out to your stories. See, you've made me a better writer and added to the currency in my spank bank. Win/Win
Truth be told, I think explicit erotic literature is more difficult to write than other genres because the writer has to deal with this exact realism question without it coming off contrived.













lol...No ya not full of it I think. Your comment ist entertaining though...smiles

I can agree with many things ya say too, even though I not really think about many of the things ya talk about.

Yes Lush ist a Fantasy Sex Site mostly, und shouldn't be taken so serious as some here do I think.
I've met other Lushies in real life 2 times since I been a member, one time was very sexual, the other was greater friendship, both much fun...smiles
I've also webcam with a few close friends here, so in this way Lush ist more than only a Fantasy Sex Site, but all other here ist definitely und only that, so take it like a good or bad pill, und either play the game or ya not gonna have much fun I think.
I not think the things written in stories ist mostly not possible or even not practiced by many in real life.
Some are kinda out there maybe, but mostly not, at least not compared to my life, or many who I know.
I like the very fictional stories anyway, especially those relating to SCIFI, or such things.

I not know much about the cuckold thing. I have no friends who into that.
German boys not small that I ever been with so maybe that ist why,
unless some do it because of boredom issue, or simply for the excitement. I can understand that I guess.
Would be more the 3some thing with 2 girls und her man than the cuckold thing here mostly I think.

The whore/slut thing? Well...I bring someone home all the time, maybe 2 times a week, maybe more sometime.
I'm choosy about who, but that I have sex maybe alot, I not mind thinking of myself as a whore.
Proud to be a whore rather than a filthy slut any day.
I must say also that no I would not like to be called either in public.
It ist one thing for guys who know me to understand that I am a whore, und a completely different thing to be treated as such all of the time.
There ist time und place for everything. I have feelings, und a mind too.
But that I do the things for them, und they for me also?
I get what I want, und the older guys get what they want, so I provide a service to the community...giggles
I not hurt them in any way, or take anything from them that they not want to give me in appreciation.
It ist always different, sometimes a nice dinner, or see a show, go to the theatre, to say thank you.
So no, I'm not a flithy slut. They not care for anyone but themselves und getting theirs I think, maybe even theft etc. too.
I walk away quickly if someone calls me a slut.

I not know much about the BBC thing either, the big black cock thing ya see on all of the American websites?
We not talk about that much here that I ever know about, und like I say, German boys not small so it not something on any of my girl friends minds or we ever talk about. Maybe that ist an American thing mostly?...smiles
I never hear anyone say they not like black guys. I have black friends in Paris, but just not my thing sexually.
Maybe a hottie black girl with a yummy French accent...giggles...But not ever dated them yet.

About sucking cock? God yes. I love to fall asleep with cock in my mouth. Why not? I'm gonna be all over it when I awaken anyway.
Swallowing cum? Not every guys cum taste the same. Some guys taste like old green mold smells I think,
so no I'm not swallowing that, und if I get a guys cock out, und he smells bad there, he not getting any BJ from me,
nor anything else. I'm stop everything right there, we are done.
Hygiene ist important ya know...smiles

Lush und Cybersex ist a blessing for many I think, either reading stories und doing their own thing, or with another Lushie.
It ist my cyber-home...smiles

As for words we use to make fantasy...I made up 2 new ones for my own...SEXCITE und WHOREGASM.
Good ones I think.

Anyway, only some of my thoughts for their worth. I not judge anyone here.
The local LBAGC does enough of that already I think.

Have fun...cyas...
sprite
Her Royal Spriteness
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Quote by ivanka_simkiewisz




As for words we use to make fantasy...I made up 2 new ones of my own...SEXCITE und WHOREGASM.
Good ones I think.




whoregasm goes back to at least 2007. Sexcite goes back to 2002.

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.

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Quote by sprite


whoregasm goes back to at least 2007. Sexcite goes back to 2002.



Yes, I not really figure someone hasn't thought of them before, they are so urban obvious.
I wasn't planning to try registering them anyway, so I just keep them for my own...smiles

What do you think about realism in erotica? Many things Lush maybe?
sprite
Her Royal Spriteness
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Quote by ivanka_simkiewisz



Yes, I not really figure someone hasn't thought of them before, they are so urban obvious.
I wasn't planning to try registering them anyway, so I just keep them for my own...smiles

What do you think about realism in erotica? Many things Lush maybe?


refer to my post on page 1.

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.

JulieTopper
Advanced Wordsmith
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What do you think about realism in erotica?

As is see it, realism has to be there. I've read a few 'Romance' type novels which are so unconvincing as to be ridiculous.
Real people dont act like that.
I suppose it depends on what sort of real people you put in your book.
I'm in Scotland and from what we call a working class background. We use alot of slang when referring to sex.
We even use slang words in general chat, so if two guys are say walking down the street and they see a male friend on the other side of the road, they might say - There's that wee cu*t from Bank Street.
I often go clubbing with my friends and the language is quite rough. We totally accept this. Middle class girls would probably be offended. We are not.
It is this world, the world I know best, that I put into my books, so my heroines of main characters often have sex with guys who use language when they are screwing.It is common.
To try to make this all nice and perfect and middle class, is so false. My books use explicit language. That is there strenght. I just couldnt write pretty stuff. It's not me. I leave the pretty stuff to prettier people.