Cliches That Should Die

I think we've all got certain things we find irritatingly over-used in stories. One of mine is "love canal" or "canal" in general. It always makes me picture Italian men in gondolas singing "When the moon hits your eye..." which is probably not the image the authors who use this term intend for me to have.

I've also just been reading a story in which a pair of breasts have been described as "creamy" not just once but repeatedly, and I'm beginning to suspect that the poor woman has some bizarre skin disease.

What are some of the awkward tropes and phrases that trip you up as a reader?

". . . just sayin'"; usually placed at the end of a sentence in the hopes that it somehow justifies what has just been said. It doesn't.

"Laundry list" descriptions of characters, usually female ones, esp. as the beginning of a story.

Numerical descriptions of character's bodies. I don't need to know her cup size or his dick's length and girth. Tell me what they make you feel instead, so I can feel it too.

Quote by Carnevil9

Numerical descriptions of character's bodies. I don't need to know her cup size or his dick's length and girth. Tell me what they make you feel instead, so I can feel it too.

Yes. Perhaps acceptable in a rare cases where it is actually relevant to the story, but generally unnecessary. "Soft plump tits" says more to me than "42D".

Quote by Seeker4

Yes. Perhaps acceptable in a rare cases where it is actually relevant to the story, but generally unnecessary. "Soft plump tits" says more to me than "42D".

"Tits: She had the regular amount - two."

I've been getting very lazy about my physical character descriptions, because let's face it - we all know what breasts and penises and vaginas and asses look like. I trust my readers do okay on their own, and don't really need much help with the visualization. Unless there's anything particularly remarkable about them, we can safely assume they exist and move on.

In Scott McCloud's book "Understanding Comics," he discusses the style used in Japanese comics where the backgrounds are very detailed, but the main characters are often extremely simplistic, and suggests that it helps the reader to project themselves into the character.

I try to take this to heart — if a particular bit of description for a character is plot relevant, I'll mention it. But broadly speaking, I try to avoid over-describing my characters so it's easier for the reader to embody.

Quote by Carnevil9

Numerical descriptions of character's bodies. I don't need to know her cup size or his dick's length and girth. Tell me what they make you feel instead, so I can feel it too.

Absolutely. I grow weary of seeing every female character's measurements written out in detail. How do you know she has a 24-inch waist? Did you bring a tape measure to the bedroom? Maybe she pigged out on ice cream last night and it's 24.4 inches right now. 🤣

Quote by Seeker4

Yes. Perhaps acceptable in a rare cases where it is actually relevant to the story, but generally unnecessary. "Soft plump tits" says more to me than "42D".

Exactly...

Her voluptuous breasts spilled out of the bodice of her dress and refused to be contained, even while cupped by her lover's sizeable hands. She grinned wickedly, hoping that the size of a man's hands being indicative of the size of his member wasn't just a myth.

How about “ropes of cum”. I know every man is different but I have personally never experienced that. Not saying it’s impossible but it seems every man cums that way in stories.

Quote by ebonysummer

How about “ropes of cum”. I know every man is different but I have personally never experienced that. Not saying it’s impossible but it seems every man cums that way in stories.

Although I do agree with you, I have seen that happen. Do a Google search for a porn star named Peter North. He made very impressive cumshots; after pulling from a lady's pussy, he would frequently shoot his cum on her face without ever leaving her waist.

I think this sort of cliche speak is much less prevalent in lesbian stories, though I do admit I may simply be skipping past it as I read.

Okay. "Drinking her nectar" does come to mind and needs to go, now that I think about it.

Shopping/check list descriptions.

Quote by techgoddess

Exactly...

Her voluptuous breasts spilled out of the bodice of her dress and refused to be contained, even while cupped by her lover's sizeable hands. She grinned wickedly, hoping that the size of a man's hands being indicative of the size of his member wasn't just a myth.

And this, folks, is why she's a mod and repeat comp success. 😁

On topic:

Stories where every tit is huge and every cock is long and thick. How about some variety and diversity in body parts?

Quote by Seeker4

And this, folks, is why she's a mod and repeat comp success. 😁

On topic:

Stories where every tit is huge and every cock is long and thick. How about some variety and diversity in body parts?

Thanks for the lovely pat on the back. I appreciate it.

And yes, I am guilty of dwelling on voluptuous redheads. Might be time to shake things up a bit. 😘

I am not sure I should read this thread as it seems all the terms I use in my stories have come up in it! 🙄😨😊

Quote by techgoddess
And yes, I am guilty of dwelling on voluptuous redheads.

Nothing wrong with voluptuous redheads, though. 😋

Oh boy. Here we go.

1) Teens. Teens as a trope, particularly teens in sexual conjunction with 40+ year-old people, so the whole "older and younger" thing.

Have you, older person, met a teenager?? And not one of those you see in "Grease" and in 90s/00s high school-themed TV shows. Real, actual teenagers. Sixteen-year-olds. Those with attention spans the length of a tiktok video, who cannot hold half a conversation if you hand it to them in a bucket. They genuinely are not "good lover" material, y*all. Suspension of disbelief is one thing, but every time I read a story featuring some 16yo who has a brain and is also a generous and pleasing bedsport partner to some dude who has been on this planet three times longer than she, my fingers are itching to put that shit into "Fantasy & SciFi" instead.

2) "OOOH OOOH FUCK YES YES OOOH BABY YES AHH OOOH MMMH MMM BABY FUCK YES FUCKKKKKK" etc.

Firstly, can we get rid of porn closed captions altogether? It's not even sexy in actual porn where it's accompanied by moving pictures. It doesn't work in written form. It just doesn't. Put in some proper dirty talk. Use your words.

Secondly, you cannot elongate plosives. It's physically impossible. Stoppppp itttttttt.

3) Exploding.

He exploded in her pussy.

She exploded into orgasm.

Everyone's constantly being torn to bits - which is weird because that's not at all what orgasms feel like most of the time - and it makes me think of Magawa, the Cambodian landmine-sniffing rat who died a national hero in 2022. RIP Magawa.

4) Husky.

"I want you to come for me," he said huskily.

His voice was so dark and husky.

Huskily, he growled, "Slowly."

Quote by cydia

Oh boy. Here we go.

1) Teens. Teens as a trope, particularly teens in sexual conjunction with 40+ year-old people, so the whole "older and younger" thing.

Have you, older person, met a teenager?? And not one of those you see in "Grease" and in 90s/00s high school-themed TV shows. Real, actual teenagers. Sixteen-year-olds. Those with attention spans the length of a tiktok video, who cannot hold half a conversation if you hand it to them in a bucket. They genuinely are not "good lover" material, y*all. Suspension of disbelief is one thing, but every time I read a story featuring some 16yo who has a brain and is also a generous and pleasing bedsport partner to some dude who has been on this planet three times longer than she, my fingers are itching to put that shit into "Fantasy & SciFi" instead.

2) "OOOH OOOH FUCK YES YES OOOH BABY YES AHH OOOH MMMH MMM BABY FUCK YES FUCKKKKKK" etc.

Firstly, can we get rid of porn closed captions altogether? It's not even sexy in actual porn where it's accompanied by moving pictures. It doesn't work in written form. It just doesn't. Put in some proper dirty talk. Use your words.

Secondly, you cannot elongate plosives. It's physically impossible. Stoppppp itttttttt.

3) Exploding.

He exploded in her pussy.

She exploded into orgasm.

Everyone's constantly being torn to bits - which is weird because that's not at all what orgasms feel like most of the time - and it makes me think of Magawa, the Cambodian landmine-sniffing rat who died a national hero in 2022. RIP Magawa.

4) Husky.

"I want you to come for me," he said huskily.

His voice was so dark and husky.

Huskily, he growled, "Slowly."

Alright, no need to get personal, Cydia edits work 😘