It all started by accident. Things got out of hand and it ended with another man having sex with my wife. At first I was shocked. I never dreamed of anything like what was happening. It wasn't a fantasy of mine. The idea had never crossed my mind. But here I was standing there while another man was fucking my wife. I was in a state of shock. I use shock because it's the only word I know to describe my state. But as I watched my wife's reactions to his very long dick I was turned on. How could this be? When he cum in her, even that turned me on. Why? I don't understand my feelings. Read my story
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Why Do I Enjoy Another Man Fucking My Wife
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Active Ink Slinger
Quote by Riverrat3060
It all started by accident. Things got out of hand and it ended with another man having sex with my wife. At first I was shocked. I never dreamed of anything like what was happening. It wasn't a fantasy of mine. The idea had never crossed my mind. But here I was standing there while another man was fucking my wife. I was in a state of shock. I use shock because it's the only word I know to describe my state. But as I watched my wife's reactions to his very long dick I was turned on. How could this be? When he cum in her, even that turned me on. Why? I don't understand my feelings. Read my story
According to an article on Psychology Today, the root causes of men wanting to watch their wives with other men are psychological, as expected. The main culprits? Sperm competition and voyeurism.
Voyeurism is pretty self explanatory. Voyeurists are people who enjoy watching others, usually in sexual acts. Some people in relationships will satisfy this desire by watching themselves in a mirror or recording and then watching themselves having sex. Watching someone else have sex with your spouse can kind of be the next progressive step in voyeurism.
Sperm competition comes into play when a man has a desire to have sex with his wife/spouse/partner after another man has had sex with and/or ejaculated inside her. As noted in the aforementioned article, sperm competition is a biological response that affects the male sexual drive. After watching your wife have sex with another man, you may be biologically driven to have longer and more vigorous sex with her. The recovery time between erections may also be shorter and you may also ejaculate harder and in a higher than normal (for you) amount. Men tend to enjoy these effects on their sexual drive, so they'll encourage their wives to sleep with other men to stir up that competition and bring about these biological responses.
Other factors involved included the thrill of (again, self explanatory) and female empowerment (turned on by your wife's independence and assertiveness in sleeping with other men).
Bisexuality may play a small role if there's a desire on your part to interact with the other man.
P.S. If you were trying to post a link to your story, it won't show until you accumulate 20 forum posts.
I still don't understand my feelings. I'm as straight as anyone can get. I love my wife. I'm turned on from the pleasure my wife experienced. She did enjoy his size. Do most women enjoy a well endowed man? My story in here is true. I wrote it to relive it in hopes of understanding: How it come about, why I could have enjoyed it, why she enjoyed it? Is a MMF 3 sum most women's fantasy? I'm I normal? Is my wife normal? I know my wife is a border line Nympho. That was what attracted me to her along with her looks. She was a dream come true to me. I know how lucky I am to have her as my wife. I know I'm rambling. I'm just trying to understand how something like this come about and why it turned out to be so much fun.
Rainbow Warrior
I'm the girl in this scenario. My boyfriend's "thing" is fucking me after I've been fucked by another guy, or several. I think Olivia's post is right on the mark! Sperm competition is a very real phenomenon! It makes a guy perform better and I've even read that his sperm is more aggressive after he has been copulating after other guys. My boyfriend's reasoning however is that girls like me shouldn't be possessed by just one man but should be shared with the world, so he's done that through photography and sharing me with his friends in bed. No complaints from me! :-)
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by Riverrat3060
I still don't understand my feelings. I'm as straight as anyone can get. I love my wife. I'm turned on from the pleasure my wife experienced. She did enjoy his size. Do most women enjoy a well endowed man? My story in here is true. I wrote it to relive it in hopes of understanding: How it come about, why I could have enjoyed it, why she enjoyed it? Is a MMF 3 sum most women's fantasy? I'm I normal? Is my wife normal? I know my wife is a border line Nympho. That was what attracted me to her along with her looks. She was a dream come true to me. I know how lucky I am to have her as my wife. I know I'm rambling. I'm just trying to understand how something like this come about and why it turned out to be so much fun.
Just give that article I linked to in my previous post a good read. It's very insightful and I myself learned a lot about why men and women find this act so appealing. I'm sure most of your questions will be answered there if they weren't already highlighted here.
In regards to whether or not you or your wife are normal, well that's a very subjective term. That depends on the standards of which you define normal. In the 'traditional' sense of normal, you will find that wife sharing does not fit into most ideas and ideals of the standard relationship dynamic. But that by no means means you're not normal or that it's wrong.
Also, I'm not sure if it's most women's fantasy to be involved in an MMF threesome, but it is indeed a fantasy of many women.
Rookie Scribe
I have given this a lot of thought myself. I had a few straight MMF 3somes before I met my wife, and enjoyed them all. All were different, and for different reasons. Once was because my roommate was in a dry spell, and I asked the slut I brought home for the night if she wanted to be doubled up on. Another was a husband and wife that were in a rut, and asked me to join them. You get the gist.
I have often fantasized about another joining my wife and I, and would love to watch them to begin with. I would probably take some pics or video, but I would be watching before joining in. In the other cases, there was almost no voyeurism involved, but this is almost exclusively at first. Why the difference?
For me, it was kind of that three phase deal: Not wanting to think about her sex life before me, accepting that even though she wasn't a slut or anything, there were very few 1st's to experience together, and finally acceptance becomes curiosity and wondering what she was like with them. Since her first home movies were with me, the only way to fill that curiosity is with another.
I don't know if it applies to you, but that's how I came to my fantasy of doubling up on my wife.
I have often fantasized about another joining my wife and I, and would love to watch them to begin with. I would probably take some pics or video, but I would be watching before joining in. In the other cases, there was almost no voyeurism involved, but this is almost exclusively at first. Why the difference?
For me, it was kind of that three phase deal: Not wanting to think about her sex life before me, accepting that even though she wasn't a slut or anything, there were very few 1st's to experience together, and finally acceptance becomes curiosity and wondering what she was like with them. Since her first home movies were with me, the only way to fill that curiosity is with another.
I don't know if it applies to you, but that's how I came to my fantasy of doubling up on my wife.
I am not sure if this is a plug for your story, since you asked "Read my story" and that may take time to read. I probably won't read it, sorry, it just isn't what other things interest me, BUT if you are really confused about those feelings and still have no idea where it stems from, after remarks, and after Miss Olivia gave some possibilities and a link, then that is what therapy is for if you really wish to know and understand yourself and your feelings better, that can help.
For the same reasons people seek porn and watch, or the same voyuerism aspects that people watch real-life people having sex (whether unbeknownst to them or consensual) and become aroused because it IS a sexually stirring visual thing as well as any number of various reasons (or for "this" and not "that") it stimulates something in our brain. Perhaps *it is the AROUSAL itself? ('of another 'around us' -that filling the air we breathe and space we occupy in that vibe of sex and sexual arousal itself -filling those senses and anticipation and knowledge thereof)?
As to marriage being a committment,... love, or a monogamous and two person thing... or not
As to root reasons...
As to sharing...
These all have some foundation for beliefs and feelings
and maybe finding that base will help you understand why these things have the reactions they do for you.
I know at different times in my life I felt one way about something ... whereas I might feel completely different later, or I might strongly be aroused in another direction many years down the road, or a belief change or anything. (Yes, there WERE reasons for that). If you find where all it comes from - maybe you will understand. I think knowing these things helps us understand ourselves better and then we have less questions and things. I hope that helps.
['I used to have the fantasy of a MMF. That was before I began a serious relationship with my current boyfriend. I have also given thought and been accused of being a nympho- or that said, though science changes it's opinion on that and terms as they really do not fully know things yet about all this and are basing it more on an addictive personality that surfaces (or OCD) in that aspect or blah-bla-blah, lol, and yet ~ I have been fairly good at committed relationships being exclusive when in that situation and when asked for, so go figure. What I am saying is that I have a pretty good understanding of why I am the way I am on other deeper levels, where my feelings and tendancies come from. I seek that, and it helps me understand my actions, reactions, and reasons, yes.]
For the same reasons people seek porn and watch, or the same voyuerism aspects that people watch real-life people having sex (whether unbeknownst to them or consensual) and become aroused because it IS a sexually stirring visual thing as well as any number of various reasons (or for "this" and not "that") it stimulates something in our brain. Perhaps *it is the AROUSAL itself? ('of another 'around us' -that filling the air we breathe and space we occupy in that vibe of sex and sexual arousal itself -filling those senses and anticipation and knowledge thereof)?
As to marriage being a committment,... love, or a monogamous and two person thing... or not
As to root reasons...
As to sharing...
These all have some foundation for beliefs and feelings
and maybe finding that base will help you understand why these things have the reactions they do for you.
I know at different times in my life I felt one way about something ... whereas I might feel completely different later, or I might strongly be aroused in another direction many years down the road, or a belief change or anything. (Yes, there WERE reasons for that). If you find where all it comes from - maybe you will understand. I think knowing these things helps us understand ourselves better and then we have less questions and things. I hope that helps.
['I used to have the fantasy of a MMF. That was before I began a serious relationship with my current boyfriend. I have also given thought and been accused of being a nympho- or that said, though science changes it's opinion on that and terms as they really do not fully know things yet about all this and are basing it more on an addictive personality that surfaces (or OCD) in that aspect or blah-bla-blah, lol, and yet ~ I have been fairly good at committed relationships being exclusive when in that situation and when asked for, so go figure. What I am saying is that I have a pretty good understanding of why I am the way I am on other deeper levels, where my feelings and tendancies come from. I seek that, and it helps me understand my actions, reactions, and reasons, yes.]
Active Ink Slinger
I don't think every feeling has to be explainable. Even if one person can put a feeling into words, that doesn't mean others can understand it.
Active Ink Slinger
It is really bad feeling.
Hi, My enjoyment began with pillow talk with my wife,she would tell me about the guys that she has to deal with in her position as a buyer for a large departmwnt store,there are seven guys around her age and four much older guys. Most of the younger guys have tried hitting on her all received the same responce that she was happily married and she was not interested in playing around. as time passed I noticed that she offen mentioned Ken and how he was the perfect gentleman and didn't appear to be hitting on her,however she told me that when he was with her she could tell by the way he looked at her that he wanted to have sex with her.I asked her if she thought he would be ok in bed ,her reply was yes i think he would be terrific,then I asked her if she was ever to let another guy have sex with her who would it be her reply Ken ,so after a few more questions I asked if she would like to have sex with him her reply was yes. I didn't respond to her answer except for a HHmmmm.
A month had gone since that pillow talk and my wife was attending a company season sales promoat the company office and showrooms this happens every year at the begining of a new season it is usually a cocktale party with finger food and The manager and buyer of various stores are invited.This company happens to be the company that my wifes friend Ken works this night she didn;t arrive home at the usual time she was around half an hour late Ididn'take much notice about it.
We finished our chores and went to bed ,In bed I rolled over on top of my wife for our usual nightly naughtly and when I began to enter her I noticed that she was fully lubricated with pussy juice I was able to slide into her without any resistance this has never happened before,I immedistely thought of Ken and said that it felt likeKen had beaten me to you,her reply was now stop that you know that I have wet days sometimes ,once I had entered her I could feel that she had more than her pussy juices in her I new it was cum and it was Ken who put it there,Idecided not to say anything then and decided I would wai till we had pillow talk.she continued to say that it was just a wet day again I decided to just wait and play along with her ...
A month had gone since that pillow talk and my wife was attending a company season sales promoat the company office and showrooms this happens every year at the begining of a new season it is usually a cocktale party with finger food and The manager and buyer of various stores are invited.This company happens to be the company that my wifes friend Ken works this night she didn;t arrive home at the usual time she was around half an hour late Ididn'take much notice about it.
We finished our chores and went to bed ,In bed I rolled over on top of my wife for our usual nightly naughtly and when I began to enter her I noticed that she was fully lubricated with pussy juice I was able to slide into her without any resistance this has never happened before,I immedistely thought of Ken and said that it felt likeKen had beaten me to you,her reply was now stop that you know that I have wet days sometimes ,once I had entered her I could feel that she had more than her pussy juices in her I new it was cum and it was Ken who put it there,Idecided not to say anything then and decided I would wai till we had pillow talk.she continued to say that it was just a wet day again I decided to just wait and play along with her ...
I love my wife very much. I can't understand why it turns me on to watch another man and her. I'm above average in size and I do satisfy her. The more endowed his is the more I like it. It don't make me feel less of a man when she enjoys it. I get pleasure from her pleasure. She is a very attractive woman and very sexual. I feel very lucky to have her as my wife.
What's so strange to me is at one point in my life if I had caught my wife cheating I would have left her. It wouldn't have to have been a long term affair. A one time deal would have done it. How did I go from there to enjoying her taking another man. I'm very very straight. Politically incorrect straight. Before it happened I had never had any idea people did such things.
Competition. That is key to human relationships. Visual excitement is another. But I never fucked my girlfriend harder or longer than when another couple was in the room with us. Mostly because I wanted to fuck the other guys girl as well and prove I was worthy. But the drive to reproduce ourselves is at the bottom of it all so why watch someone else fuck your wife? I like watching porno too.
Bonnet Flaunter
I think Kitsume may have hit the nail on the head here. Marriage is not only a loving commitment between people but also a way in which we are organised by our society. Put simply we are taught that committed love = marriage = monogamy. But people's experience (written widely about on Lush) shows that its not quite that compartmentalised. I think that your confusion lies where reality - you enjoying watching your wife with another man - has contradicted a deeply held belief system about marriage and monogamy. Of course the sex act you are discussing does not mean you love your wife any less, but just that your feelings for her and beliefs about yourself may be more complex than you had previously assumed.
Rookie Scribe
As Olivia states, a primary reason is sperm competition, and that is certainly the case for me. I, personally, have no desire to be humiliated or to engage in male to male contact (but if you do, go for it). The sexual experience is most intense (for both of us) when my wife and I invite a male friend into the bedroom.
Chuckanator
Quote by BethanyFrasier
I'm the girl in this scenario. My boyfriend's "thing" is fucking me after I've been fucked by another guy, or several. I think Olivia's post is right on the mark! Sperm competition is a very real phenomenon! It makes a guy perform better and I've even read that his sperm is more aggressive after he has been copulating after other guys. My boyfriend's reasoning however is that girls like me shouldn't be possessed by just one man but should be shared with the world, so he's done that through photography and sharing me with his friends in bed. No complaints from me! :-)
And... I'm the guy in that scenario. We have an open marriage. It is not easy. It requires a level of openness and trust that few ever achieve. From what I've read and heard from our therapist, it is not an uncommon fantasy fantasy for men to have. Not so much with women. Pushing this on your spouse when they are not ready can be destructive if not fatal to a marriage. Also remember relationships are living things that are constantly changing. Communication is required. You need to proceed cautiously as a couple. hotwifing needs to be thoroughly discussed and jointly decided. Guys, a no is a no, not a maybe.
I've just published chapter seven of Undercovers Detective. I would love your feedback on this story. I'm planning on ten chapters at least. If you haven't read one yet, I've included links. I hope you like them.
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/straight-sex/undercovers-detective-chapter-7.aspx
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/seduction/undercovers-detective-chapter-6.aspx
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/love-stories/undercovers-detective-chapter-5.aspx
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/first-time/underdovers-detective-chapter-4.aspx
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/seduction/undercovers-detective-chapter-3.aspx
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/love-stories/undercovers-detective-chapter-two.aspx
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/love-stories/undercovers-detective.aspx
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/straight-sex/undercovers-detective-chapter-7.aspx
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/seduction/undercovers-detective-chapter-6.aspx
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/love-stories/undercovers-detective-chapter-5.aspx
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/first-time/underdovers-detective-chapter-4.aspx
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/seduction/undercovers-detective-chapter-3.aspx
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/love-stories/undercovers-detective-chapter-two.aspx
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/love-stories/undercovers-detective.aspx
Active Ink Slinger
that was the best answer that I have heard about this subject. I never knew why my husband always asking why I wouldn't want a threesome, now I know why he wants one....thanks.... I just thought it was just because he is nutz....lol...
Active Ink Slinger
Not being married may disqualify me from commenting however I am in a relationship with more than one man and I have a female lover.
I do therefore see my favourite guy enjoying an intimate relationship with my girl friend. I find it exhilarating to see two people enjoy an intimate relationship.
They in turn see me with my girl friend or boy friend(s)
I don't know about having or watching a relationship with a married man or woman affecting how I feel. If the physical desire is there I can't see a problem, but I have not made a commitment to remain faithful to one person. I gather that may have a bearing on the matter to many.
I do therefore see my favourite guy enjoying an intimate relationship with my girl friend. I find it exhilarating to see two people enjoy an intimate relationship.
They in turn see me with my girl friend or boy friend(s)
I don't know about having or watching a relationship with a married man or woman affecting how I feel. If the physical desire is there I can't see a problem, but I have not made a commitment to remain faithful to one person. I gather that may have a bearing on the matter to many.
Advanced Wordsmith
Paul, I read your response to thinking your wife had sex with her coworker Ken. I was recently in the same situation. My wife came home from going out for drinks with her coworkers on her last day at work before she started a new job. She came to bed and was drunk. We had tak previously about sex with another couple or guy. So that night she told me she new a guy at work who would be perfect for a threesome. We talked about why she thought that while we did foreplay. She ended ho confessing he gave her a ride home and she asked him on the way home if he would want to join her and me in the bedroom so she could try dp. She told me she didn't do anything with him but I have no way of knowing and I can't get it out of my head that she did. We had a talk about this night and how she went behind my back and talked to him about it with ought me knowing. So when I read this happened to you I wanted to see how things turned out.
Active Ink Slinger
Did not find any other threads on this topic, so I'm necroing it.
As a guy who has been in his share of 3sms, couple swapping, and group sex Hotwifing includes a lot more than sperm compitetiion. Also it can go beyond the narrow definition of the wife picking up a male for her enjoyment. Years ago I had a gf who would take the lead in picking up a third for us, but the third could be female too, and if the choice was a male he'd be for my pleasure as well. I've run across a few couples where the male was impotent or invalid but enjoyed seeing or knowing his partner was being satisfied.
As a guy who has been in his share of 3sms, couple swapping, and group sex Hotwifing includes a lot more than sperm compitetiion. Also it can go beyond the narrow definition of the wife picking up a male for her enjoyment. Years ago I had a gf who would take the lead in picking up a third for us, but the third could be female too, and if the choice was a male he'd be for my pleasure as well. I've run across a few couples where the male was impotent or invalid but enjoyed seeing or knowing his partner was being satisfied.
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by Beffer
I'm the girl in this scenario. My boyfriend's "thing" is fucking me after I've been fucked by another guy, or several. I think Olivia's post is right on the mark! Sperm competition is a very real phenomenon! It makes a guy perform better and I've even read that his sperm is more aggressive after he has been copulating after other guys. My boyfriend's reasoning however is that girls like me shouldn't be possessed by just one man but should be shared with the world, so he's done that through photography and sharing me with his friends in bed. No complaints from me! :-)
I felt the same way with Robin, her pussy was just so amazing that I almost thought it was a crime not to show it, and more importantly, share it with as many guys as possible. I would often tell her that she has no idea how good she is.
Active Ink Slinger
You are not entirely clear about a few things. It seems that you witnessed this; you didn't just hear about it, but I'm not sure. Did the couple know you were watching? What were their reactions to your presence? Was there a confrontation of some sort?
Active Ink Slinger
I am in the opposite realm. I have been fucked by a ‘husband’ with his ‘wife’ watching, with her requesting and suggesting different situations. The whole thing was discussed before hand. They had been married for almost a year and his attitude toward sex was severely influenced by his mother who considered it ‘dirty’. He would only engage in the missionary position and it was more or less physical and clinical only. Never emotional. His wife who loved him and sex believed she could change him but it was not working. Because I was not married I was considered a satisfactory candidate for their experimentation following some counselling I believe. She approached me as a colleague knowing my history. After a weekend together as a threesome his attitude had changed somewhat and had realised that it was more and better than he had imagined and was anything but ‘dirty’. His wife participated as well and after each experience and position with me he engaged with his wife. We needed the full weekend for obvious reasons. Discussion and recovery etc. it was not quite a fuck fest but gradually he became to accept what we were doing was somewhat enjoyable.
A month later she confided in me that he was a different man and had suggested another weekend.
I agreed on the condition it was to be the end of the experiment. It developed into a ‘fun’ weekend enjoyed by all three of us.
Six months later she thanked me and said he now realised how good sex can be and was anything but dirty. She was more than happy. Pregnancy was now being discussed.
A month later she confided in me that he was a different man and had suggested another weekend.
I agreed on the condition it was to be the end of the experiment. It developed into a ‘fun’ weekend enjoyed by all three of us.
Six months later she thanked me and said he now realised how good sex can be and was anything but dirty. She was more than happy. Pregnancy was now being discussed.
Active Ink Slinger
For me it's not the fact that I enjoy watching another man having sex with my wife but more that I enjoy watching my wife have sex. Whether it's another man or another woman I simply love to watch her enjoy the intense pleasure she gets from sex. And being a bit of an exhibitionist she loves to be watched. Since entering the lifestyle quite a few years ago we've often watched each other. She also loves to watch me with another woman and when we invite friends to play I also find myself in the position where another man is watching me with his wife. This has added a whole new dimension to our sex lives and brought us closer together.
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Rookie Scribe
I believe that if you really enjoy it, then you are probably a true cuckold. True cuckold meaning that you really get excited by the fact that your wife is having a relationship outside of their marriage. This is what turns you on. I said this on another thread but the cuckold gets off on the compersion (the opposite of jealously. Being turned on by her sexual trysts.) Which happens when his wife or girlfriend is with another man. She is non-monogamous and he is faithful to her. She gets off on the fact that her husband or boyfriend is trusting her and giving her the freedom of non-monogamy which is his gift to her. Her gift to him is giving him what he wants sexually. There needs to be honest communication and in this type of relationship cheating is taken out of the equation. Which is why I think a real cuckold marriage is the the most successful of marriages. One more note: cuckolds do have sex with their cuckoldress (wives). Denial is a game of teasing.
Advanced Wordsmith
This is a fantasy of many a married man i would imagine.
During my late 20s i married into a family of 7 children 4 girls 3 boys, after a couple of years i found out that my wife was meeting her father for sex and it was the norm in her family,this stopped when she was pregnant with our first child.I would have loved to have been a watcher as her father was well hung and he was Bi,a regret that i never had sex with him or a 3some.
Active Ink Slinger
There is no one answer to why a man would want to watch his wife with another & imo opinion there is always more to it than simply watching or sharing. A deeper need if you like.
When my hubby told me his fantasy of sharing me, after the initial shock, I decided find out more about it & quickly realised it has a very mental side to it as well as the obvious visual & aural.
Took me 4yrs to finally take the big step, but 4yrs well spent finding out his triggers & the deep seeded root.
Now we have a deeper love & have never been closer as a couple
Active Ink Slinger
First I got off watching her being satisfied, then want to eat her creampie. We finally settled on 69 while a bull was taking her doggie style. For filled the unspoken desire we both were into.