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What does Bi-curious really mean?

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pentup47
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A question for Aunt Olivia, which has doubtless been put to her on numerous occasions before (but I'm a newbie):- can we have a Kinsey-like definition of exactly what Bi-curious - as opposed to a committed bi - might mean?

Though I'm in a contented hetro relationship, I believe I'm bi. I get massively strong hormonal charges looking at other men; thinking about them kissing me and undressing me. I frequently find myself flirting with other men - even using girlie hand gestures. Yesterday, I called the windowcleaner 'sweetie'!

So is a bi-curious male just someone who thinks: "Oh that Johnny Depp...he's ok, I suppose; but not my type. Wouldn't mind seeing a picture of his erect cock, pehaps!"
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My definition would be very literal; you think about the possibility of have same sex sex, but have never done it.
You definitly seem bicurious.
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Quote by Elling50
My definition would be very literal; you think about the possibility of have same sex sex, but have never done it.
You definitly seem bicurious.


That's how I define it when I say that I'm bi-curious. I love looking at cocks, I would love to suck, stroke, etc. a cock, but I haven't got there yet. Can't say that I've ever flirted with a guy save a bit online but I'd say that's just a matter of not meeting any guys I really wanted.
Musigal
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I agree with that. I would say I'm bi-curious. I find some women attractive, although haven't done anythingsmile
Musigal
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I agree with that. I would say I'm bi-curious. I find some women attractive, although haven't done anythingsmile
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Anyone who's bi-curious for longer than a year should really get on with it.
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Quote by urbancoyote
Anyone who's bi-curious for longer than a year should really get on with it.


Some of us don't easily have the option due to existing relationships that would be affected.
HotBttmInBriefs
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I know many on here hold the belief that bi-curious can be anyone who has sex with the opposite sex but doesn't want a relationship with them.

I hold the same as those above and just hold that the word curious defines it. If you curious about something that means you wonder how it feels, what it would be like. If you have already done it how can you still be curious about it?

I think it becomes a comfort thing for some folks. They have done it and liked it and would do it again, but hey it sounds better saying I am bi-curious. Like a straight guy who has done it and knows he will do it again. But still can't admit that he is bisexual just yet.
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Quote by HotBttmInBriefs
They have done it and liked it and would do it again, but hey it sounds better saying I am bi-curious. Like a straight guy who has done it and knows he will do it again. But still can't admit that he is bisexual just yet.


Which has never been my understanding of the term. To me, it's always meant curious to try but haven't done so, thus not sure if "bisexual" really fits or not. Me, in other words. Once I get it on with a guy and enjoy it, I'll happily change my orientation label to bisexual because then I won't need to be curious about it anymore.
HotBttmInBriefs
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Quote by seeker4


Which has never been my understanding of the term. To me, it's always meant curious to try but haven't done so, thus not sure if "bisexual" really fits or not. Me, in other words. Once I get it on with a guy and enjoy it, I'll happily change my orientation label to bisexual because then I won't need to be curious about it anymore.



I agree with you.

I think curious fits for those guys or girls who are just wondering.

As I said in another thread though I think a person can be gay or bisexual and not ever have sex though.

Sometimes you just know the same way that a str8 person knows they are straight.

I knew I was bisexual even before I ever had sex the first time. The only thing that held me back from practicing was my fear that someone would find out. But I knew that when I saw a naked woman I wanted her but when I saw a naked man I wanted him too.

But there are some people who are not so sure. And I feel that curious fits those people.
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Interesting takes. I've always been attracted to more open people and over the years I've had a lot of people tell me they often wonder what it would be like to be with someone of the same sex, even though they have no physical attraction to them. For example, a man who wonders what it would be like to suck a cock, even though they find other men unappealing. I've even used a strap-on on a few of them. Ironically, it still leaves them wondering because it's not a real cock, and I can understand that. After all, sucking a piece of plastic is nothing compared to having a cock throbbing and pulsating in your hand and mouth, you know, being to actually make someone else cum and have that sense of accomplishment.

Those are the people I've always considered bi-curious. I figure if you only like the opposite sex you are heterosexual. You can be a virgin and be heterosexual, so why can't you be a virgin and be bisexual? If you are a guy and attracted to men only, you're gay; if you're attracted to both, you're bisexual, whether you are a virgin or a complete and total man-whore. But since they are heterosexual (based on attraction) with a bit of sexual curiosity for the same sex/genitalia, I always took it that those individuals were more deserving of that title.

I still believe that everyone should be able to categorize themselves however they wish.
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I can't grasp the word. If you don't know by now, there a communication problem. I think it's a catch word for certain reasons well known. There is no in-between...get serious.
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Bi curious to my understanding is a desire to try making out with the same sex, to see what would it be like, and never having done so before, so still curious about it.

Once you like it and like doing you are no longer curious about so bi will suffice.
HotBttmInBriefs
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Quote by Kinky_Becky
Interesting takes. I've always been attracted to more open people and over the years I've had a lot of people tell me they often wonder what it would be like to be with someone of the same sex, even though they have no physical attraction to them. For example, a man who wonders what it would be like to suck a cock, even though they find other men unappealing. I've even used a strap-on on a few of them. Ironically, it still leaves them wondering because it's not a real cock, and I can understand that. After all, sucking a piece of plastic is nothing compared to having a cock throbbing and pulsating in your hand and mouth, you know, being to actually make someone else cum and have that sense of accomplishment.

Those are the people I've always considered bi-curious. I figure if you only like the opposite sex you are heterosexual. You can be a virgin and be heterosexual, so why can't you be a virgin and be bisexual? If you are a guy and attracted to men only, you're gay; if you're attracted to both, you're bisexual, whether you are a virgin or a complete and total man-whore. But since they are heterosexual (based on attraction) with a bit of sexual curiosity for the same sex/genitalia, I always took it that those individuals were more deserving of that title.

I still believe that everyone should be able to categorize themselves however they wish.


Excellent points.

As far as the strap-on thing, I have known many str8 men who love for the girls to use a strap-on on them but they have no attraction at all to another man and no desire to have a real cock.

So I firmly hold the belief that a str8 man can full enjoy that and still be str8.
TeilaWolfe
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For me, bi-curious means not attracted to the same sex in a sexual way but willing to do sexual activities with the same sex just for fun without looking for a relationship. In other words, Can have fun with but not wanting a relationship with someone of the same sex. That's my personal opinion.
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HotBttmInBriefs
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Quote by TeilaWolfe
For me, bi-curious means not attracted to the same sex in a sexual way but willing to do sexual activities with the same sex just for fun without looking for a relationship. In other words, Can have fun with but not wanting a relationship with someone of the same sex. That's my personal opinion.


My only problem with that thought is how do u have sex with someone you are not attracted to? The whole part of getting excited enough to have sex with someone is that you are attracted to them and want to do have sex with them.

The whole words bisexual - homosexual - heterosexual -- all have "SEXUAL" in common. That to me lends to think they are referring to the sexual part and not particular a relationship beyond the sexual.

There are many str8 people who just want to have sex and not looking for a relationship. Are they just hetero-curious.
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For me bi-curious means that although I love men and love heterosexual relationships, there has always been that voice in the back of my head that was like the subconscious part of me that could not help but admire the beauty of the female body and mind and wonder what it would be like to be intimate. Curiosity is a wonderful thing.
pcplod
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Quote by HotBttmInBriefs


Excellent points.

As far as the strap-on thing, I have known many str8 men who love for the girls to use a strap-on on them but they have no attraction at all to another man and no desire to have a real cock.

So I firmly hold the belief that a str8 man can full enjoy that and still be str8.


Here's the thing, I think, about your point about strap-ons. If a woman wears a strap-on to anally penetrate a man, it is effectively a simulated male-on-male sexual act, even though the person who is wearing the strap-on is female. I think that means that the (male) recipient is fulfilling a male-on-male sexual desire, albeit by proxy and by simulation. I think that is tantamount to engaging in a male-on-male sexual fantasy, while at the same time enabling yourself to deny that you are in any way bisexual or that you have betrayed your need to see yourself as being straight.

If, purely as a technical argument, the person wearing the strap-on was male, would that also effectively mean the recipient was straight? As an aside, I am not even sure whether using the term "straight" in the context of such a discussion is even appropriate or helpful.

If the act was anal penetration with, say, an ordinary dildo or vibrator or anal massager, then I would be more confident in agreeing that the recipient was 'straight', and it wouldn't even matter if the person using it on them was male or female, or even just the recipient themselves. All that would be is an act of anal penetration/prostrate stimulation.

Put it another way. If the act in question involves the simulation of a male anally penetrating another male by wearing a facsimile of a cock and it is functionally used as if it was a substitute cock, then it is effectively a male-on-male sexual act. This is even true if the (male) recipient has rationalised in their own mind that being penetrated by a simulated cock is not a male-on-male sexual act. The fact that they do rationalise the act that way and have rationalised it that way is what is really interesting, really revealing.

Of course, in the context of a private, personal sexual act between two consenting adults, there is absolutely nothing wrong in this and it is nobody else's business. However, it might be interesting if the male in question was to allow himself to reappraise his own rationalisation of how they 'understand' what they are doing, and what sort of sexual being they might really be.

And if you are a male who just likes to be penetrated by a strap-on, while fully appreciating that what you are engaging in is a pseudo male-on-male sexual act without ever engaging in or wanting to engage in the real thing, then that too is perfectly acceptable. The nuances, variations and subtleties of people's sexual preferences and limitations is what makes the variety of the world what it is.

Being honest with yourself about yourself is what, in my humble opinion, is what matters. Most importantly it should matter most to you, rather than to others or wider society.
HotBttmInBriefs
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Quote by pcplod


Here's the thing, I think, about your point about strap-ons. If a woman wears a strap-on to anally penetrate a man, it is effectively a simulated male-on-male sexual act, even though the person who is wearing the strap-on is female. I think that means that the (male) recipient is fulfilling a male-on-male sexual desire, albeit by proxy and by simulation. I think that is tantamount to engaging in a male-on-male sexual fantasy, while at the same time enabling yourself to deny that you are in any way bisexual or that you have betrayed your need to see yourself as being straight.

If, purely as a technical argument, the person wearing the strap-on was male, would that also effectively mean the recipient was straight? As an aside, I am not even sure whether using the term "straight" in the context of such a discussion is even appropriate or helpful.

If the act was anal penetration with, say, an ordinary dildo or vibrator or anal massager, then I would be more confident in agreeing that the recipient was 'straight', and it wouldn't even matter if the person using it on them was male or female, or even just the recipient themselves. All that would be is an act of anal penetration/prostrate stimulation.

Put it another way. If the act in question involves the simulation of a male anally penetrating another male by wearing a facsimile of a cock and it is functionally used as if it was a substitute cock, then it is effectively a male-on-male sexual act. This is even true if the (male) recipient has rationalised in their own mind that being penetrated by a simulated cock is not a male-on-male sexual act. The fact that they do rationalise the act that way and have rationalised it that way is what is really interesting, really revealing.

Of course, in the context of a private, personal sexual act between two consenting adults, there is absolutely nothing wrong in this and it is nobody else's business. However, it might be interesting if the male in question was to allow himself to reappraise his own rationalisation of how they 'understand' what they are doing, and what sort of sexual being they might really be.

And if you are a male who just likes to be penetrated by a strap-on, while fully appreciating that what you are engaging in is a pseudo male-on-male sexual act without ever engaging in or wanting to engage in the real thing, then that too is perfectly acceptable. The nuances, variations and subtleties of people's sexual preferences and limitations is what makes the variety of the world what it is.

Being honest with yourself about yourself is what, in my humble opinion, is what matters. Most importantly it should matter most to you, rather than to others or wider society.


I totally disagree with that. I think a man can be totally straight and still enjoy it because he has no attraction whatsoever to a man.

The same way that a lesbian can have her lesbian lover use a strap-on during sex. That doesn't make her any less of a lesbian. She is not attracted to men.

Sexuality is more than just the technical side of sex. It is the attraction accompanied by the actions.

It is the same way some men can get an erection from having a prostate exam at the doctor. He gets the erection from the stimulation not from the fact he is attracted to the doctor.
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Quote by Musigal
I agree with that. I would say I'm bi-curious. I find some women attractive, although haven't done anythingsmile

I agree too.
I have not been with another woman yet, but I have thoughts, and urges to have sex with another woman, and see what it is like.
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Bicurious to me means simply that you are wondering what it would be like to play with a member of ther same sex. Like me, I consider myself bicurious as I would like to suck a cock and swallow some cum but I have never tried it yet. Hopefully some day I will get to try it and then will no longer be curious. I will either like it and be bi or not like it and be straight.
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Quote by HotBttmInBriefs


I totally disagree with that. I think a man can be totally straight and still enjoy it because he has no attraction whatsoever to a man.

The same way that a lesbian can have her lesbian lover use a strap-on during sex. That doesn't make her any less of a lesbian. She is not attracted to men.

Sexuality is more than just the technical side of sex. It is the attraction accompanied by the actions.

It is the same way some men can get an erection from having a prostate exam at the doctor. He gets the erection from the stimulation not from the fact he is attracted to the doctor.


This. The anus is an erogenous zone, at least for men. It feels good to have some action there, at least for me. Not the doctor thing, though. You haven't seen my doctor . Maybe if my doc was a hot guy, my opinion of prostate exams might change. Or maybe it would be his prostate getting examined.



Aaaaanyway. Back on topic.

If you want a cock in there, you're gay/bi. If you think about it but haven't got there yet, you're bi-curious. If you just want a woman to do it with a toy or finger and cocks don't enter into it, that's just exploring a new erogenous zone.

Now, I could see a bi-curious guy taking a strap-on from a woman to "try it out" but that isn't what makes him bi-curious. Bi-curious means he ultimately thinks he might want a guy to take him with a cock. A bi-curious guy might also not be interested in taking anything in there, just in sucking on a guy or playing with a cock in other ways (handjobs, jerking off between the thighs, and that sort of thing).
dpw
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Quote by HotBttmInBriefs
I know many on here hold the belief that bi-curious can be anyone who has sex with the opposite sex but doesn't want a relationship with them.

I hold the same as those above and just hold that the word curious defines it. If you curious about something that means you wonder how it feels, what it would be like. If you have already done it how can you still be curious about it?

I think it becomes a comfort thing for some folks. They have done it and liked it and would do it again, but hey it sounds better saying I am bi-curious. Like a straight guy who has done it and knows he will do it again. But still can't admit that he is bisexual just yet.

OMG I hate these threads, they just suck me in and wear me out. So now I'm going to throw the curve ball. Bicurious is a misnomer, it doesn't mean what it says, it shouldn't exist, it's a made up word to make heterosexuals feeling better about themselves when they get strange urges and thoughts about the same sex. This is not bicurious it is homocurious, imagine asking peopke that.
Usually I'd go into this a lot more fully but I'm exhausted and can't think straight. Also saw Hot Bottom had posted and wanted to say, never has a name been more deserving, the pics! Ooohh fuck, perfection.
Bothsidesnow
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Bi-curious means not brave enough to admit to yourself that you're bi. I'm bi by the way... any way....
dpw
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Quote by Bothsidesnow
Bi-curious means not brave enough to admit to yourself that you're bi. I'm bi by the way... any way....

So you've looked at life from.....
I'd love to agree with you but can't in all honesty, there are a number of people on here that have tried it once and didn't like it.
dpw
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Quote by seeker4


This. The anus is an erogenous zone, at least for men. It feels good to have some action there, at least for me. Not the doctor thing, though. You haven't seen my doctor . Maybe if my doc was a hot guy, my opinion of prostate exams might change. Or maybe it would be his prostate getting examined.



Aaaaanyway. Back on topic.

If you want a cock in there, you're gay/bi. If you think about it but haven't got there yet, you're bi-curious. If you just want a woman to do it with a toy or finger and cocks don't enter into it, that's just exploring a new erogenous zone.

Now, I could see a bi-curious guy taking a strap-on from a woman to "try it out" but that isn't what makes him bi-curious. Bi-curious means he ultimately thinks he might want a guy to take him with a cock. A bi-curious guy might also not be interested in taking anything in there, just in sucking on a guy or playing with a cock in other ways (handjobs, jerking off between the thighs, and that sort of thing).

Have you satisfied your curiosity yet?
BigShyPussyKins
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For me it means that while I would love a good cock, I wouldn't turn my nose up at licking a pussy or having mine licked either by a woman. I'd like to experiment with both to see if I am both or prefer one over the other :/
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Quote by dpw

"Bothsidesnow wrote:
Bi-curious means not brave enough to admit to yourself that you're bi. I'm bi by the way... any way...."

So you've looked at life from.....
I'd love to agree with you but can't in all honesty, there are a number of people on here that have tried it once and didn't like it.


I have to agree with dpw. I'm straight and I know this from a few bi-encounters I've had, which beforehand I was indeed 'bi-curious'.

Now I would never look for a one-on-one with another man, it just holds no interest for me at all. Things that that happen when two of us are 'entertaining' one of our mutual lady friends are generally ignored for the most part and life goes on.
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It means not to have any restrictions in who and what you are and do and with whom!
I have never exercised my bi-curiosity but that doesn't mean I wouldn't with the right situation.
OldDog_BlackHeart
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I think the term is self explanitory. I'M curious but have not experienced it. Wether on a concious level or not, I think it is also saying I would like to try it & under the rite cercumstances I probablly would.