In the small country town where I live, all the husbands work and some of the wives use my skills as a handyman. I work the graveyard shift at the lime plant, so I'm always available during the day to help with whatever they need. You'd be surprised how much help they need with their plumbing.

I'm a lab tech at the plant. My job is not very demanding. I make several trips from the lab to the kiln where the limestone is baked to take samples of the finished lime for testing. Some nights I mix small quantities of mortar to test, too. Most nights I have time for a nap.

My daytime activities are more challenging. Several neighborhood women hold me to a regular schedule.

Monday afternoons I see the widow Gladys.

Gladys won't tell her age, so I had to guess. I figure about sixty, give or take a few years more or less. She's one of those women who seem to get prettier as they age, and I could tell she was a hottie in her youth. She still has a good figure, too. She hits the gym at the senior center twice a week. I cut her grass in the summer and shovel her walk and driveway in the winter. I don't charge her for the work because she sucks my cock every week.

Because Gladys loves sucking cock, she's become an expert. Her blowjobs blow my mind. Picture a gray-haired lady who could suck the color out of a carrot and you’ve got Gladys. It’s all she wants to do. I've offered to do other things, but she says she gets more pleasure than I do from gobbling a meat whistle. Maybe it's because she rubs one out for herself while I spray cum down her throat. She's a sweet old girl and I'm very fond of her.

Tuesdays I visit Mary, who lives directly across the street from me. She's petite, brown-eyed, big boobs. I get off work at seven and on my way home I stop to eat at Maggie's, a little breakfast and lunch place on Main Street. I'm a regular and Maggie makes me a good breakfast. I need the nourishment. By the time I finish eating, Mary's husband and kids are out of her hair, off to work and school. She has a part time job in the afternoon so she wants me in the morning.

All Mary wants is head. She claims her husband won't eat her ever since he heard you can get HPV from munching on pussy. She says she told him that if she does have HPV, he gave it to her, so he must have the virus already. I think he's a fool. Mary has an exquisite cunt. You open the flaps and the pink nearly blinds you. It's like neon lights in there, a clean well lighted place. She tastes great, too. Salty with a little earthy edge.

I've become a master cunnilinguist since I've been sending Mary out of her head with my mouth. I truly enjoy tongue thrashing her pussy. Of all the girls I know, Mary tops the list of "Women I Want to Fuck".

When I first saw Robin, who lives at the end of my block in a two-story Colonial, I put her on the "Women I Don't Want to Fuck" list. Yeah, I keep lists in my head. Who doesn’t? She carries a few extra pounds on a big frame and her hair is cut short like a man's, which I think makes a woman look like a dyke or a German lady. So I was wrong to assume.

Robin is married to a lawyer and has two teen-aged sons. She's fortyish, very plain-looking, just this side of homely, but she is an outstanding piece of ass. I mean ass, too. Robin likes me to bang the back door, which her husband is apparently too squeamish to invade.

I think he's a dope. Poke her butt hole with a good-size pole (like mine) and she goes bat shit.

Better hold on tight though, because she’ll buck you off faster than a Brahma bull. Oh, yeah, I do Robin on Wednesdays—hump day.

Thursday is the high point of my week. That's when I get to spend an hour or more with Brittany, a twenty-something trailer-park type with big hair and a dynamite body. I've never seen her in anything but Spandex outfits. She's shacked up with a computer geek who's on the road a lot, and she's always horny. Always. I hit Brittany's duplex around nine and some mornings I can't squirm out of her leg lock until noon.

Brittany likes to do it all. She likes me to strip the Spandex off her slowly, get naked with her, and kiss and cuddle to the accompaniment of classic rock. She deep-throats my big cock, I go down on her clean-shaven pussy. We play sixty-nine. We fuck. Her cunt is snug as a Chinese handcuff.

Some days we watch porn videos for new ideas. Britt wants to try everything she sees. I admit I've learned some things since I started visiting Brittany. My new favorite position is reverse cowgirl. I love to watch her ass jiggle while she rides the baloney pony. She's got a big ass and pointy tits as tiny as a twelve-year-old.

Last week she wanted to DP, but since I have only one cock, she slipped a butt plug in her ass while we fucked. She was very vocal that day. I'd like to try her ass sometime. I'm working on it.

Friday is less strenuous. It’s kink day with Sara, a writer who works at home. She's 36, a vegan, has a child in second grade, and is separated from her husband. Not unattractive, but terribly skinny. She's got hairy arms and a bush you need a weed-whacker to trim. The jumble of coarse hair spreads to her thighs and grows up her belly like a vine.

Sara is into mutual masturbation, which might explain the absent husband. She leads me in a Tantric posturing for twenty minutes, which consists of getting naked and sitting on the floor in the lotus position facing each other without touching. She claims it increases our sexual energy. I try not to stare at her bush because I think it destroys the mood. Then we use scented oil on each other's sexy bits until my cock and her clit are stiff. Then we switch. She strokes my rigid oily cock and I rub her clit and finger-fuck her twat—when I can find it. After two or three minutes we switch again, and so on, until we both come. She scoops up my spunk and rubs it on her face. She believes it’s better than skin cream.

She does have nice skin. So anyway, Sara comes (she grunts a lot), I come, and we're done till next week.

Now if any of you guys are thinking, "What a lucky bastard!" I'd like to point out how tough my days are. I need the weekends to rest. For real, for real. If you don't believe me, try caring for the sexual needs of five women and working nights.

Blow jobs on Mondays, pussy brunches on Tuesdays, ass-poundings on Wednesday, orgies on Thursdays, and hand jobs Fridays—not to mention the risk of a husband or boyfriend coming home unexpectedly and walking in on something that will probably righteously piss him off. That could get ugly.

It's a tough and often dirty job, but somebody's got to do it.

Be glad it's me and not you.