To be accepted you must learn to accept the unthinkable...

I awoke surrounded by softness and the heavenly scent of clean, fresh bedding. I stretched without opening my eyes, luxuriating in the feeling as the soft fabrics seemed to caress my very soul. I clasped my hands above my head and let out a loud groan of pleasure.

But something was different. Wrong.

I tentatively stroked the back of one hand, it felt so soft! My fingers! Everywhere they touched produced a tingle, overpowered with excitement and expectation. Nails! I had long nails! Oh god. Their tips showering sparks behind closed eyelids as I gently raked my bare, so so soft arms. This was different? Raising a hand to my face my senses just simply, well, ignited! I shuddered as my pointed nails stroked the ultra-smooth skin they found. Oh god. Tears began to roll down my cheeks. Who am I? Why was I crying!

Why was it different? I felt so confused! Oh it feels so nice, my touches lighting a gentle rising heat which seemed to infuse my being with pure longing, glorious panty wetting longing.

Where was I? Who was I?  A tiny part of my foggy mind cried “Wake up!” the voice thundering in my ears.

But befuddled senses refused to obey - the wonder of my body still absorbed their every attention as my exploring hands felt luxurious silk and lace. I let out a sign, actually more a whimper to be truthful. That’s wasn’t me. That didn’t sound like me!

The mists of sleep cleared enough that I hesitatingly opened one eye, despite my still wandering hands. Looking around, feeling safe in my cosy nest, I quickly realised I was no longer in Kanas. In fact, just where the fuck was I? The room was softly lit, a faint smell of vanilla and bubble-gum hovered in the air, the furnishings and décor exquisite in their out-of-focus detail. Trying to shake my head to clear the confusion I felt an unfamiliar sensation, I grasped at the earrings I was wearing. Earrings?    

I then vaguely remembered a car. Two beautiful, delicious women and, and, oh. Oh. OH! The memory of sucking a hard cock swam into my senses. The sensation of her sheer nylons rubbing my cheeks as I bobbed up and down on her hardness, gentle manicured hands insistently applying pressure to the back of my head as she moaned encouragement. Her heavenly scent mixing with the musk of her sex as the tip oozed irresistible treats onto my eager tongue. Miss Sarah! I remembered something else. My bum. Oh my! Aunty Trixie? Aunty Trixie fucked my virgin pussy on the train! I thought I could still feel her present running out of me, the thought turning into a giggle. Giggle? And then a tongue, a wonderful enquiring tongue licking my aching hole, then a finger, two, three, a hand! Miss Cindy! My beautiful princess who had saved me from the train. Her hand, she’d put her whole fucking hand inside me! I couldn’t recall anything else. What happened! Where was she? I suddenly felt very frightened and very, very vulnerable.

Turning I spotted a pink suitcase against the wall opposite. My suitcase! My precious gift from Miss Sarah! It contained the most wonderous schoolgirl uniform, complete with frilly knee-high socks, cute Mary Janes and the prettiest ruffled satin panties! As the memory of the St Trinian’s style dress swam before my hungry eyes I felt a strange sensation from my cock; the usual ‘lets get ready’ rise to attention was replaced by constricted pain, it was really hurting! With trembling hands, I reached down to touch myself, scared as to what I would find. My finger felt something smooth through the lace of my panties, running my fingers further down I felt a hole in what I thought was hard plastic, then backup to the base and the jingle of a small padlock. What the hell!? Feeling further I realised I had on some sort of belt, where the buckle should be there were two metal loops, each with a tiny closed padlock, my encasing was firmly attached! Oh god! Please no! Thoughts of white slavers ran through the rooms of my panicked mind, slamming the doors as they went. I laid rock still in utter panic, daring not to move and discover something else amiss.

But my traitorous hands reached further down, despite the silent screaming cries from my mind and felt something that wasn’t right! What the fuck! Fuck! My balls. They were gone! In their place was something, well something. I gently investigated and lighting shot through my being. Oh, oh god. Ggggoddddd! It was like every nerve had suddenly colluded and sent their charge directly into my very essence; a racking orgasm enveloped my world, every other sense being replaced by the never ending, soul wrenching sensation emanating from my massacred crotch. After what seemed like hours my vision cleared enough for reason to take back some semblance of control. I felt beading sweat running down my face, my body cold and clammy. Just what the bloody fuck was fucking going on!

I started to pant, my head spinning. What had happened? Why couldn’t I remember! Bright stars and flashing lights battled for attention in my vision and I knew I was going to faint. But just as quickly the image of my lovely smiling Asian Princess came into focus, magically calming my shattered nerves.

A desperate yearning welled in my heart; I needed Cindy, Miss Cindy. Tears began to form and flow freely. Their gentle wetness rolled down my cheeks as I turned onto my side and unconsciously cuddled a pillow. An unaccustomed heaviness pulled me over a little further until it gently came to rest on the sheet. What the fuck! My hand encompassed a sizable cup size, confirming my breasts were very real as the tingles threatened to make me cum again. I have tits?  Oh Jesus. My fantasy had come true, I’m a girl! But I’m not! But I am! An expectant finger sort and found an erect nipple, its sensitivity sending me over the edge into a deep well of nothingness as my senses exploded.

The mind-numbing orgasm receded, leaving me shaking and totally confused. What was happening to me? Where was I? What had been done to me! Please. Please, I don’t want to play anymore. Please no more. Please. My tears rained down uncontrolled, soaking the heavily scented pillow that had so recently become my best friend.

I dreamed. Very confusing, unsettling dreams. My wife? My children! My wife’s hate filled but stunningly beautiful face, swirled into being inches from my own, cutting me to the heart.

"I need a bloody man, not a child!" she shouted, adding for good measure “you fucking SISSY! I wish I had never found out!”

We argued a lot because of the pictures that magazine had printed. Pictures of me dressed in pretty lingerie pleasuring another crossdresser. My face was masked, but it was me. She had known instantly, her temper and hurt equally raised to inhuman levels and fired in my direction as each opportunity presented itself.

We argued. Well she argued; I just took the abuse hoping it would stop. It was only later, after talking to anyone who would care to listen, that I concluded that she'd been deliberately goading me to react as she thought a male should. Her frustration drove me further and further into silence. But it drove her instead to abandon me for the comfort, conversation and real sex with 'real' men. She would take great delight informing me of each blow-by-blow encounter the day after, seemingly relishing my tears as she recounted the exact length and girth of each cock she had ridden. When she was feeling particularly cruel, she would even message me ‘live’ images and vids, showing me how much cum she had sucked from this ‘real’ man and did it turn me on? Did the ‘ickle sissy want the big dick for himself? Does the crossdressing faggot want to be ploughed as much as her pussy was enjoying this very second? Come on, answer me you pathetic excuse for a ‘man’! You bastard! You unmitigated bastard!

“You have no fucking right to cry!” she would scream.

I cried. Soul wrenching sobs that always seemed to goad her into greater and greater acts of revenge. My pleas that I had never wanted to hurt her being received with abject disdain and a slap around the face on more than one occasion.

A warm glowing heat chased the painful dream back into the depths, as I slowly opened tear reddened eyes to a bright sunny world that was stranger and more frightening than ever. Uncurling from the foetal position my nightmare had driven me into I tried to take a better look at my surroundings, the new weight on my chest instantly reminding a fogged brain that I literally had no idea where I was or to be honest who I was.

The sun was streaming through an elegant looking case window onto the room's startling tasteful furnishings, elegant but not ostentatious. The walls were painted a subtle daffodil, the built-in wardrobes and stylish double chest of drawers in a complimentary shade. The dressing table, with its view of beautiful green parkland outside, was amply stocked with everything the feminine occupier obviously needed. An impressive array of nail varnishes in beautiful shades, makeup and other tools of the trade; hairbrushes, pedicure utensils, jewellery, lash curlers, etc.

I laid there quite stunned wondering who's room this was, obviously not a guy’s! I shook my head again to try to clear the cobwebs, only to be greeted by the gentle chink of the earrings. It was all too much. My eyes widened as I clocked the most disconcerting feature, the ceiling, or rather the total lack of it! I stared at a beautiful woman staring blankly right back at me laying in a huge wrought iron bed. I waved, she waved back. Oh god. I had heard that people had mirrors above their beds, even fancied one myself, but this was insane. It stretched unbroken from wall to wall. It was huge, like something out of a low budget science fiction film! It made me feel really self-conscious; the lady in the reflection looked like she was going to start crying, her red eyes looked so sad. When the realisation finally hit me, and feeling intensely stupid at the same time, I turned on my side. I couldn’t bear to look at myself. That was me apparently. A stunningly beautiful brunette, with long straight hair, pale soft skin, elegantly shaped eyebrows, expensive looking gold diamond earrings and dressed in an ultra-feminine satin babydoll nightie with an ornate lace edging.

The image of my full bust was to die for. Is that really me? Tears. Why couldn’t I stop crying!

I gingerly turned back to the reflection and nervously waved again. Yes, it was me. Oh god it really is. I looked like a film actress, laying seductively on a bed waiting for her handsome lover to have his wicked way. My bed was also a little unusual, a Kingsize would be dwarfed by this handsome creation! An old-fashioned style wrought iron frame in white with easily enough room for 4 to sleep without suffering claustrophobia; more if intimacy was not an issue. Oh god, it was meant for groups! A now familiar pain emanated from below as my face warmed at the thought. The bed clothes that held me in their comforting embrace looked wonderfully luxurious too, bright pink painted fingernails unconsciously stroked the expensive fabric.

I was startled by the first noise I had heard, a polite knock at the door.

"Hello?" I asked huskily. My throat felt sore and painful. A tidalwave of recollection crashed through my now very focused and very clear mind.

"Oh...my...god..." I whispered. Had I really deep-throated her cock? Had I really let that amazingly attractive blonde push her hand all the way inside me! Pain from below. I couldn’t stand it, I had to look. I stared at my uncovered body and I looked amazing. Not slim by any means, just on the verge of being considered plus size I was thinking but oh god sexy as hell. The tits! I definitely would!

“It’s you, you dolt I quietly hissed,” still struggling to come to terms.

I was wearing the most beautiful white and pink babydoll nightie, matching lace shorts and white lace stockings with pretty pink bows! My reflection literally beamed. But the reveal took all the courage I could muster, my encasing clearly visible through the panties, glinting in the sun light; I slowly drew the waist band down my smooth thighs. The ornately gold decorated deep satin belt came into view first, the design I realised matched my earrings! It had wide suspenders, with gold metal clasps decorated with sparkling diamonds, running from it to my stockings which I couldn’t resist stroking a little. The chastity device was beautiful. It was held firmly in place by little gold coloured padlocks, that were reflected in its ornately engraved surface. And it looked small! I could no way be considered big in the junk department, but this was tiny. About 2 inches maybe? What had been done to me! As I continued pulling down my knickers I literally cried out in shock. Withdrawing my hands so quickly they sprang back in place covering the mutilation my wide-eyes had spied. Oh god, oh god. Panic reclaimed it’s domain as my heart hammered, heaving breasts cruelly reminding me that my deepest darkest desire had actually happened!

"Well hello to you sleepy head," said a smiling Cindy who had entered the room unseen.

I jumped screaming, my breathing making me feel like I was fainting again. Panting uncontrollably, I closed my eyes against the horror I had seen.

I felt warm hands cupping my face and the gentlest kiss on my lips. Then a weight settled next to me and the comforting embrace of my Princess’s arms began to calm my shattered nerves.

“Sssshh,“ she whispered, “everything is ok.”

Her gentle rocking converting my wracking sobs into pitiful whimpers. I held tightly, my one connection that seemed real. Real, just what the fuck was real anymore.

“Kasey, just relax” she said quietly.

I couldn’t respond, apart from holding her tighter.

“Kasey, relax. Right now.” she said more firmly.

I loosened my arms a little, too scared to let go completely.

“That’s better, I can breathe again. Look at me.” Her voice full of compassion.

I raised my eyes, trying to make out my Princess through tear-filled vision. Her greeting smile warming my heart.

“Hi,” I managed to croak, “I feel a little weird.”

Laughing Cindy just looked down on me. She was beautiful, there was no denying just how much of an aura of sensuality surrounded her glowing face. Strangely, my tumult of emotions also contained a hefty amount of jealousy. Jealousy? Yes, that was it. I starred at her makeup and felt naked! My remembered reflection was devoid of makeup, it felt very wrong. And why couldn't I look so perfect! And where the hell did that thought come? I felt rather then heard the echo of girlish giggles from my lips and grinned despite myself.

"That’s better," she said smiling, “that’s my little girl I was hoping for.”

I starred back. Little girl? I definitely wasn’t little! My crushed tits confirmed that as they tried their best to engulf hers. Mmmmm, it felt so nice. Pain! Oh jesus. Please no, it really hurts.

She laughed loudly at my discomfort, “Oh are you getting a little excited? You’ll get used to it sweetness. Little girls don’t get stiffies and you’re still in training after all. But I’m sorry I can’t release you, Aunty’s orders!”

“Orders? Please where am I, I’m so confused.” I said in barely a whisper.

“The treatment worked much better than I first thought.” she said nodding to herself.

“You are very lucky Kasey, some gurls have so much trouble excepting when first brought round. I sometimes really dislike what we have to do but your sponsor was quite clear what was expected in return for their funding.”

“Sponsor? I really don’t understand Cindy. What’s happened? I remember being in a car then waking into this nightmare!” I said through threating sobs.

“Miss Cindy! Please do not confuse my compassion with familiarity.” I was admonished.

“I’m sorry, so so sorry Miss Cindy,” I stuttered, “but please help me. I’ve been fucking butchered!” I cried in a voice rising in pitch.

Slap. My ears rang with the hard impact.

“Don’t ever, ever, let me hear you using such foul language again!” her anger filled eyes glared at me.

I shrunk away, feeling both betrayed and shocked in equal measure.

Taking my hands, she spoke more softly, “Kasey your old life is gone. Except it. You have not been ‘butchered’ silly girl but been given one of the greatest gifts ladies like us could ever hope for. You were chosen by one of our richest sponsors, the amount of money that your treatment set them back makes me cringe just thinking about it. The wonders you are going to experience Kasey, oh my, I’m so jealous.”

I simply starred, uncomprehending.  

"Oh, the cat has got your tongue at last sweetie?" the assertive tone returning, "well I know a simple cure for that. We just have time before the meeting" she added looking at the small clock on the cabinet.

She got off the bed, her dressing gown falling open to a gasp from my lips, as her dainty fingers released the pink tie.

Miss Cindy stood in front of me wearing one of the most beautiful pink corsets I had ever seen. Her voluptuous figure accentuated by its laced embrace; her hour-glass shape made all the more feminine by the breasts fighting to be set free from their satin prison. Her smooth legs were encased in the sheerest matching stockings, kept secured by 3 metal suspenders on each leg. The 3.5" patent sandals she wore completed my head-to-toe visual feast by shaping her calf’s exquisitely.

"If you open that pretty mouth any further, some of our more, errrm phallically blessed clients, will have you booked up for months Honey." she laughed.

With that, she knelt on the bed and with cat like grace positioned herself next to me. I started to sit up but was blocked from further movement as she straddled my chest, the heady scent from her panties assaulting my already excited senses. The pain in my crotch was growing intense as her shapely buttocks lightly rested on my breasts. Wiggling slightly, she giggled as they wobbled beneath her.

“What do you think Kasey? Do you want to go back?” she purred.

Her lace knickers were just a couple of inches from my adoring mouth. The bulge I could see growing as I watched. My own forgotten, the pain it was causing no longer important.

"We haven't been properly introduced, " she said, with just a hint of arousal in her tone.

Not properly introduced! The remembered soreness of my rose lay testament to that misstatement; the memory of her exquisite hands, now lightly touching my face, forcing their way inside me in the car still gloriously fresh.

Her musky smell of anticipation was growing stronger by the second. Looking up longingly into her eyes I was greeted by an almost feral expression, one that instantly scared me. With deft movements her slim 4" erection was freed, its tip already pressing insistently at my lips as precum oozed from the pulsating wand. A slight thrust and the head was in my mouth, another and it hit the back of my throat and I involuntarily gagged.

"Oh my you are getting quite good at this," Cindy crooned, "relax, time your breathing as I fuck your mouth, I'm not stopping until I’m ready for you to swallow."

Her gentle motions had me in heaven. Her cock, although much much smaller than my fantasies was delicious; I sucked like a baby calf trying to draw milk. My breathing fell into a natural rhythm complimenting the sliding of her tool through my willing lips. My tongue seemed to know exactly what to do as it circled her shaft, caressing the underside, or seeking the creamy emanations. I was also automatically alternating my sucking of this heavenly cock, increasing as she withdrew, lessening as she plunged with increasing urgency faster back into my mouth. Much too soon I felt her hands resting on my head gripping tighter as her pace quickened.

“Oh god Kasey, you are good. This normally takes quite a while!” she giggled.

Without warning she came, “Don’t you dare swallow!” she bellowed as squirt after squirt hit the roof of my mouth.

I panicked. Her clear instruction at odds with my natural reaction as my mouth filled with her salty goodness. I strained to ignore my body’s demands, its urgent warning that we were about to choke!

Her withdraw brought a sense of relief but my mind was put into turmoil as her French kiss played with the cum she had gifted me moments before, her insistent tongue massaging mine, her lips pressed tightly so as not to let a single drop break free.

Slowly she parted, my longing look making her smile.

“Good girl. Oh my. Such a good girl! Now swallow, make sure you get every last dribble. In future I don’t want your makeup messed up by the merest hint of cum so start practicing now.” she instructed.

After a minute or so she was satisfied, “Good, show me.”

I opened my mouth, feeling very proud of myself.

“My they did a good job on your teeth too.“ she said approvingly. I wasn’t sure what she meant but I beamed at the compliment.

With a supple motion she tucked herself away and moved away from me to stand again.

“Ok, now the hard part Little Kasey,” the look of empathy on her features frightening me, “you need to meet someone, and it won’t be easy. I’m sorry, but you need your answers before you can let go of the past.” She took my hand in hers.

Looking confused, I jumped at a sound from the wall opposite the bottom of the bed. Miss Cindy lithely lowered herself into the chair next to me, still holding my hand.

And a voice I knew only too well started talking.

“Hi Kasey. I’m told this is necessary for the final stages of the treatment to work, so here I am. I’m guessing this is the first time you are hearing this and I’m sorry. I made decisions for us that you are going to find hard to except but I hope you can forgive me.”

I starred, unshocked as the self I remembered looked uncomfortable in the recording playing on the large screen.

“I hope Miss Cindy is with you, ever since I first laid eyes on her I knew she was the most beautiful women I had ever seen.”

I glanced, to be greeted by the brightest smile, with kindness her eyes motioned me back to the TV.

My old self looked at his hands, sighed and looked back at the camera, “OK here goes, I guess. I have agreed to become what you have seen this morning. I’m sorry, but everything is now gone. Our life has been awful Kasey! The number of times I have sat in the dark contemplating just ending it all I can’t even count anymore. Aunty Trixie saved us. I still don’t quite understand how, but she knows everything about our life! Everything.”

“Stuff I have never told a living soul! My best friend sucking me off at the age of sixteeen. The fumble with Sam when she tried to wank me off in the park. The feel of her knickers that she insisted I slipped on afterwards and wore to sixth-form for the day while she giggled in class behind me. The dirty old bastard who spotted my stolen pink panties when I bent over to pick up a ball and made me blow him to stop him telling my parents. The stash of Mum’s lingerie that she discovered in the shed, and the hell of being taken to the GP to be fucking ‘cured’! Cured! It was made out to be a fucking disease!”

“Getting married was my escape but I turned it into a hell. How could I explain when we first met ‘oh before we get too serious, I need to tell you I’m a bisexual, crossdressing sissy but don’t hold it against me’? I had been alone for 30yrs, few friends and god no girlfriends! That sounds pathetic even now but the thought of losing the most stunningly precious chance at being loved was too horrible to contemplate. So I said nothing. I tried to bury the urges that had been with me since childhood. It tore me apart.” My old-self was openly sobbing, his shoulders shuddering in anguish.

I looked at myself, bearing my very soul. Tears running freely, I felt a gentle pressure as once again Miss Cindy took me in her arms.

“I betrayed her. The one person who had given me everything, her love, her passion, our children, her very soul! And I destroyed her. She took my distancing as something she had done. My moods. My sullen silences. My lack of anything, she took as being her fault. I tried. I tried so hard to be normal,” the sobbing tore at my heart, “but I destroyed her! My love. Oh god I ruined everything. And lost everything. Kasey I can’t live like this! I will kill myself, its only a matter of time. But I’ve been presented a lifeline, the only catch, well if you can call it a catch,” at last a small smile, “is to become part of L'Academie. I have effectively sold us Kasey. Mind, body and soul. Please forgive me, but my reasoning seems pretty rock solid at the moment.”

I looked open-mouthed at this stranger. Sold? SOLD! “What the bloody fuck are you talking about!” I screamed at the image as hatred consumed the pit of my stomach. Sold! Miss Cindy’s arms tightened as I suddenly remembered the slap I had received earlier. I mumbled an apology and looked back to the screen as my old-self continued.

“Sold in a manner of speaking I guess.”

I glared, fucking fuming with this idiot who had sold me into slavery.

“And before you start screaming at me, its not slavery! You’re forgetting you are me Kasey. I’m told the treatment compliments our personality; it has to otherwise the patient will go insane, so you are still fundamentally me in the important ways. Only the Aunties know the sponsor’s real identities, I was selected by ne called Scarlet after an intensely enjoyable ‘test’,” he grinned, “I’m told the recording will be made available to you when you have settled down more but it was intense! Well Scarlet has particular tastes that is reflected in her Stable and she is prepared to invest an awful lot of money to ensure her charges are thoroughbreds.”

What? What does that bloody mean! I went to rise and batter the smug bastard. The arms restraining me tightened again with a muttered hiss that strangely washed away my anger.

“Yes Kasey. That’s what I said. In exchange for making my deepest desires come true, to be the woman I need to be I have agreed to become part of something amazing. There are Stables all around the world; the Aunties recruit likely subjects, present them to the Sponsors who then either reject or try to outbid each other to add them to their ‘collection’. The Stables then compete with each other, of course there are prizes but they aren’t really important, just as in horse racing it’s the winning that counts!”

I looked at this stranger. Just what the hell have you done I calmly said to myself.

“So this is it. The first day of the treatment and I can’t wait. Making this diary is an essential part of the process I’m told. Oh one last thing before I forget, I’m sorry but it is likely we’ll never see the kids again. I couldn’t bear the thought of trying to explain to them what I will become, well, becoming you Kasey. The process uses a combination of surgery and hypnotism. You will have found out about the physical changes, well most of them lol. The other part is retraining, to supress my self-hatred, bolster my feminine side, to make me into the woman I need to become. The final thing I’m told is installing certain trigger words that I’ve no doubt Miss Cindy has been using to stop you tearing the screen off the wall.”

Realisation hit me. I was owned! And willing. Oh so willing. Just what else had they done to my brain?

“Lastly, and this is the rub. The treatment will last 18-24 months, but you will have woken with no knowledge of that time. It was probably a horrible experience but again essential to ensure the treatment takes hold. Hence this diary! I chose to have the moment I passed out in the car with Miss Cindy and Miss Sarah to be the cut-off. It was so intense I wanted to gift myself with the most exciting experience I’d ever had to date all over again. Don’t worry you can thank me later,” the image grinned, “now off you go Little Kasey. I’m told we are an exceptional find and great things are expected of us!”