“I see you’ve cut off your beautiful long hair, Jazzy,” Lorna said during this morning’s FaceTime call.
“It’s Jace, mom, and I donated it to Locks of Love, so I would think you’d be pleased,” Jace replied.
“Honey, I know you like being a boy, but you’re so pretty. You know, a lot of young men wear ponytails or man buns these days,” Lorna pointed out.
Jace was annoyed. “Mom, let it go, okay? My hair will be making wigs for kids who’ve lost their hair to chemo. I would think you’d be proud of me.”
“I am proud of you, sweetie. I guess I just miss the days when you were my happy little girl,” her mother said forlornly.
Jace sighed. “Mom, I was never happy being a girl. You know that.”
“I blame your father for this. All that baseball and basketball he played with you. He wanted a boy, you see, so he turned you into a tomboy,” Lorna complained.
“Mom, I love you. But you need to stop looking for someone to blame. I have felt like a boy since I can remember. Some of my favorite memories growing up were times spent with dad at batting practice or shooting hoops and playing one-on-one with him on the driveway. This isn’t a phase or an illness or a ploy for attention,” Jace explained.
Lorna huffed. “Well when some unsuspecting girl goes on a date with you and sees you have the wrong parts, I…”
“Mom!” Jace interrupted. “First of all, I don’t have sex on the first date, so there would be no shocking discovery of my missing penis. Second, I would never go out with someone without disclosing that I am trans. You raised me to be respectful and honest. Can’t you just be proud of that and love me for who I am?”
Lorna sighed. “Oh, honey, I am proud of you, and I love you more than anything in the world. I just don’t understand this whole transgender thing, Jasmine.”
“It’s Jace, mom, and it’s not a thing; it’s who I am!”
“I’m sorry, Jace. I love you so much, and I worry about you being hurt by others who understand even less than I do,” Lorna said softly.
Jace took a deep breath and blew it out. While his mother certainly didn’t get how he felt, she did love him. She knew she meant well in her heart.
“Mom, just love me, okay? I know there are a lot of people out there who will judge me. I just need you not to be one of them.”
“I just want you to be happy, kiddo,” Lorna said. “So, if that means I have a son instead of a daughter, I guess I will have to get used to that, Jace.”
Jace smiled. “Thanks, mom. That means so much to me.”
“Are you going to have your breasts removed?” Lorna asked.
Jace rolled his eyes. “Mom, I’m less than an A cup. There are plenty of guys with bigger breasts than mine.”
“Well, are you planning to, you know, get a thing put on?” Lorna asked.
Jace laughed. “You mean a penis? No, I have no plans to have sex reassignment surgery at this time.”
“So, you want to be a man without a penis. Why can’t you just be a lesbian?” Lorna asked.
Jace shook her head. “I love you, mom. I gotta go. I’m going to be late for work.”
“Sweetie, what does your boss think of all this?” Lorna inquired.
“My boss is a trans female; she understands,” Jace said as he walked out the door.
His mother surely loved him and meant well, but it was clear that there were huge parts of his being a transgender guy that were uncomfortable for her. He couldn’t really be mad at her. At the end of the day, he knew she was in his corner and loved him no matter what.
That being said, he figured it was better to keep it to himself that he had started seeing someone and that they had their third date tonight after he got off work. He was nervous, naturally. He really liked this girl and wasn’t entirely sure she understood what he meant when he admitted on their second date that he was transgender. He hoped that when the time came, he’d be able to please her in bed. But he was jumping ahead of himself. He barely knew her. Yet. He hoped to keep seeing her and maybe, eventually, be brave enough to go to bed with her.
The idea of a third date with her filled him with both glee and anxiety. The fact that she didn’t turn and run when he told her was a positive sign.
The day progressed slowly, and he had to talk himself out of canceling the date at least three or four times throughout the day. Eventually, the workday ended, and he went back to shower and change before heading over to Roxanna’s to pick her up.
When he got to her apartment, he was incredibly nervous. But when she opened the door, all he could think about was how pretty Roxanna looked.
“Wow, you look amazing!” Jace said.
Roxanna grinned. “Thanks! You look pretty great yourself.”
Jace blushed a little before saying, “So, do you like Italian food?”
“Absolutely,” she answered.
He opened her car door for her and said a silent prayer that his anxiety would subside a little by the time they got to the restaurant.
Fortunately, the conversation seemed to flow pretty easily during dinner. Roxanna wasn’t just beautiful, but she also had a wonderful sense of humor. Jace was starting to think that maybe he had a chance at a real relationship with her.
After a couple of glasses of wine, Roxanna got a little flirty. While it was fun, it also made Jace acutely aware that the expectation of sex was on the table. He wondered how to broach the subject when she blurted out, “So, I know you weren’t born a guy, so I guess that means you don’t necessarily have guy parts.”
Jace was taken aback. “Um, no. No, I don’t.” He was about to suggest they call it a night when she surprised him.
“Well, just so you know, that doesn’t matter to me,” she said as she put her hand on his seductively.
Jace looked at her quizzically. “It doesn’t?”
“Jace, I like you. A lot. I don’t need you to have a penis to want to be with you. I happen to be a big fan of oral sex. And if either one of us wants to experience you fucking me, which we might eventually, they make toys for that,” she said.