Before leaving the ranch I cleaned up my messy truck. This meant clearing the littered passenger seat and floor of several paper coffee cups, candy wrappers, a crumpled potato chip bag, doughnut crumbs and the classified section of the newspaper with the circled ad I answered—also, a few old cassette tapes which I put back in the glove compartment.
l parked next to the barn and hosed the truck down to wash away the grime. I had a cab on the back of the truck where I slept and crawled into it to clean that out. I had a shaggy gray rug and placed my sleeping bag and backpack on it.
I moved my toolbox out of the way and put my books in a pile then glanced at the porno magazine I used for my fantasy wanks and wondered if I should hide it. Nah! She knows I'm a guy on the road... I have nothing to hide.
It was still early and I had a few hours to kill before meeting Carla at Betty's diner which was just five miles away. I remembered her telling me about Peter's Pond where she used to ride her horse, Daisy and decided to see if I could find it. I knew it was in the North Pasture so I drove up the hill where her grandfather worked the day before and found it at the far end. I imagined Carla riding there and swimming; Daisy tied to the big shade tree nearby.
I sat in the truck and looked out at the still water, then looked around at the expanse of land and wondered what it would be like to work for her grandfather, but quickly dismissed that idea. Oklahoma was just a place I was passing through as I explored Route Sixty-six and doubted I'd ever come back this way. I thought about Carla growing up here before moving to Jay when her mother remarried and wondered if she would ever want to come back to her roots.
I got out of the truck and leaned against the front and looked up at the sun getting higher and how the pink clouds cast a pink glow on the dark water. I thought about Carla running away with me. Would our relationship evolve into something deeper, or would I be a stepping stone to someone else, someplace else? One day at a time I muttered half to myself, half out loud.
Forty-five minutes later, I arrived at Betty's Diner which opened at seven. I glanced up at the clock over the front door and saw it was eight-fifteen. It was half empty, but quickly filled up as more people came in, mostly men wearing flannel shirts, jeans and cowboy hats.
They sat at the counter on the round red leather stools and leaned over their coffee mugs and talked to one another in loud, boisterous voices. A few older women dressed in skirts and frilly blouses came in and sat at the front booth and chatted. They all wore red lipstick. I guessed they were secretaries, bank tellers or salesgirls. I'm a people watcher and try to imagine what their lives are like.
I sat at a booth at the rear of the diner and ordered a coffee from a tall, young woman with red hair and freckles, wearing a pink waitress uniform with the name Renee stitched on it.
“Coffee. Is that it?” she asked, ready to write my order.
“For now. I'm waiting for someone... then I'll order some breakfast.”
Sipping my coffee, I looked out the window at cars and pickup trucks pulling in and pulling out, big tractor trucks rushing by in both directions. Several trucks were loaded with bales of hay and I realized other ranchers were doing what I had just done. I half listened to the twangy music playing from a radio. I glanced up at the clock on the wall over the front door. It was almost nine and wondered if Carla would show up, but then I saw her truck pull in and park next to mine.
Wearing tight jeans with her cowboy boots, a pale blue T-shirt and the unbuttoned flannel shirt she wore in the barn. she looked up and when she smiled, I remembered her tense, shy smile when we first met. Damn, she's pretty, I thought and watched her walk to the entrance, carrying a small green backpack.
“Well, here I am.” She sat down and placed her backpack next to her.
“So, you're really going to do this?”
“Yes. I bet you thought I'd back out, didn't you?”
“I don't know.” I shrugged.
“I'm all set. I have a suitcase I took from Granny and took some of the clothes I kept there. She won't even know it's gone and I already stopped at Dustin's garage and he said I could keep my truck there, so I'll take it there when we leave and we'll be on our way.”
"Does he know why?”
“No, and he didn't ask, but I think he wanted to. He looked at me kind of funny. Betty will figure it out if she sees us. You can't fool Betty. I hope I can tell her.”
"Really. You want to tell her. Maybe we should leave so she doesn't see us.” I looked around to see if she was there, even though I didn't know what she looked like.
“Don't be worried. I want to tell her. She's cool and I'm famished. When she hears what I'm doing, she'll say great. She won't tell a soul. I know her and she's got a wild streak. She told me lots of stories when I babysat. She'll say, 'Go for it.'”
When the waitress came over, she said, “Hi Carla. Ain't seen you for a while.”
“I know. I came for the haying at my Grandpa's.”
Renee nodded and glanced at me then back at Carla and knew she was sizing me up and wondering what was going on.
“Are you ready to order?” She looked at me like I was a specimen in a microscope.
Carla didn't even look at the menu. “The hotcakes are great here... that's what I'm having.”
“Then I'll have that with eggs up and sausage.” I looked up at Renee while she wrote it down and noticed her red lipstick and that she was chewing gum.
“Me, too,” Carla said. “I just want the hot cakes and no sausage. And I'm dying for a cup of coffee.”
When Renee left, Carla leaned back. Her unbuttoned flannel shirt opened and I glanced at her t-shirt straining against her breasts and could see she wasn't wearing a bra.
Carla knew where I was looking but didn't say a word.
“You look pretty sexy. Do you ever wear a bra?”
“I hate bras... only wear them when I'm at school or church. Does that bother you?” She smiled. “Oh, and the youth center,” she added and chuckled.
“No, it doesn't bother me. I like that you don't. Is it your way of rebelling?”
“I don't know. Maybe. Sometimes they jiggle too much, but I told you I like when guys look at me...even though I don't know what to do. I get tense. I hate being so shy.” She smiled at me. “I like that I'm not shy with you.”
“I'm curious about something. Do you think women dress to be sexy and attract men or dress to please themselves?”
“I don't know for sure. I think some women do and some women don't know if they do or not. It's hard being a woman in our culture. Sex is all over the place... in advertisements, in the movies, in the music and most men gawk even if they try to hide it.”
“It's confusing for men, too, but I always look at a sexy woman.” I took a sip of coffee and looked at her over the rim of my mug.
Carla smiled and gazed into my eyes, then leaned forward and whispered. “I like how you look at me.”
“Good.” I nodded and returned her smile.
“I read something in some magazine. Maybe it was People. Not sure. Anyway, some famous female philosopher from France said, 'Men like watching women and women like being watched.' I think that's true.”
Listening to Carla and learning more about how she thought fascinated me. I wanted to find out what made her so shy and frightened and what she wanted for her life. I remembered the conversation we had at dinner about security, how she really didn't want to be an accountant but was convinced to go for a degree so that she could work for her Uncle Charley.
I remembered how she knew she needed an adventure in order to release her hidden self, and here she was sitting in Betty's Diner with me. I felt her intelligence, her need, her yearning and passion to feel alive and saw me as her way to escape. Looking at her I wondered, Is it possible to escape or do you always bring who you are with you?
Just then, I looked up and saw a tall, plump woman with bleached blonde hair walking towards our table. She wore black slacks and a green T-shirt with the word Betty's Diner written across the front. A small white apron folded in half was wrapped around her waist. Behind her was Renee bringing us our breakfast.
Betty stopped a few tables away, smiled and said something to the customers, then came to us and sat down next to Carla.