********
SHANE
********
Most of my coworkers spent the day grumbling about the fact that they all had to come into the office on Christmas Eve. Everyone was so distracted by thoughts of hearty family dinners, mysterious pretty boxes, and little pine trees wrapped up with blinking lights, that hardly any work got done all day. But working on Christmas had never really bothered me. My parents had passed away a few years earlier, I had no siblings or extended family to speak of, and I’d never been particularly a religious sort of fellow in the first place. As far as I was concerned, I wasn’t missing anything by putting in a few extra hours at the office.
Problem was, I wasn’t concentrating on my work, either. Not because of the Christmas spirit, but because of the new girl sitting at the cubicle beside mine, her gorgeous figure a constant fixture in my peripheral vision.
To use the parlance of my ancestors, Tracy was a “honey.” Sandy brown hair, enormous green eyes, and a playful, girl-next-door smile that conjured images of Homecoming dances and first kisses at summer camp. Her disproportionately large breasts—currently filling out a festive holiday sweater—were so spectacular that I imagined they would jump-start the puberty process for every boy lucky enough to catch a glimpse of her in profile. No doubt she’d broken a lot of hearts growing up.
I glanced back at my computer and let out an audible laugh when I realized just how pathetically little work I’d managed to get done.
“What’s so funny?” Tracy asked, peeking into my cubicle.
“Nothing, I’m just having trouble keeping myself on-task today.”
“Too excited about the holidays?”
I shrugged. People always acted weird when I told them I didn’t celebrate Christmas. Like it meant I had some personal vendetta against all joy, everywhere in the world. When a young, single guy with no living family doesn’t celebrate Thanksgiving, nobody bats an eye. But Christmas? What sort of monster doesn’t like Christmas?!
Over the years, I’d basically mastered the art of the non-answer to such questions:
“Actually, I generally like keep things pretty low-key. How about you?”
“No plans,” she said a bit dejectedly.
That caught me by surprise.
“Really?”
“I usually spend it with my brother, but he’s deployed overseas this year, and my best friend is gonna be busy hanging out with this new guy she’s dating, so—yeah, no plans.”
“No way, that’s awesome!” I said. Tracy raised an eyebrow at my callous enthusiasm, so I hurriedly clarified: “Not the fact that you don’t have plans—that’s not what’s awesome. I mean, it’s awesome for me. Or, I mean, it could be.”
Fuck. It’d been years since I’d gotten this tongue-tied over a pretty girl. I made a goofy, self-deprecating face, and tried one last time:
“What I’m TRYING to say is—”
“Trying and failing,” she teased.
“—Is that I don’t have any Christmas plans, either. So, if you’re not doing anything, maybe we can hang out.”
“Ah, I see,” she flashed me a coy smile. “Would this ‘hanging out’ you describe involve, like, a date of some kind?”
“Sure, if that’s what you want.”
She tapped her pencil thoughtfully on her knee, considering my offer while her eyes gave me the once-over. I held my breath, wondering what she thought of me. My appearance has always been kind of polarizing when it comes to the opposite sex. To half the women in the world, I’m invisible. The “nice guy.” “Not bad.” A “teddy bear.”
To the other half, I apparently look like a movie star. I provoke sighs of longing, secret love letters, and doodles in diaries surrounded by dozens of hearts.
Doesn’t make sense to me, either. I guess it’s like how cilantro tastes like soap to some people. I just hoped Tracy didn’t see Teddy Ruxpin when she looked at me.
“Tell you what,” She said, at last. “Remember how I said my friend is gonna be busy hanging out with some guy? Well, she invited me to tag along, but I didn’t want to be a third wheel.”
“I see. But if you show up with me…”
“Exactly, then it’s not awkward. How would you feel about doing, like, a double date thing with the two of them? My friend Ria is awesome, and this guy Connor she met is supposedly pretty cool, too.”
“Hey, a double date sounds good to me. Long as the word ‘date’ is in there somewhere.”
“Great!” she chirped. “You can pick me up at seven.”
Glowing inside, I turned back to my desk and spent the next hour utterly failing to get any work done. Maybe I was gonna have a Merry Christmas, after all. How many times do you get to go out with a girl like Tracy?
********
RIA
********
How many times do you get to go out with a stud like Connor? I mean, seriously, he’s just so damn yummy, head to toe. Those eyes, those dimples, muscles on muscles on muscles… I’d been horny pretty much non-stop since he asked me out last week. And now, with less than an hour to go before our date—
Where the fuck was my straightening iron?! Seriously, I always kept it in the same spot, and it had no business abandoning me in my moment of need.
Aargh!
I plopped onto the bed—deep breath—calm down, Ria. I’d remember where I put it if I could just stop thinking about Connor’s big strong arms for like two seconds.
Overnight bag! Yes, from last weekend!
Victorious, I ironed the frizz out of my long, dark hair—damn you, winter climate—and put the finishing touches on my appearance:
Hair? Check. Killer eye-shadow? Check. Badass leather jacket? Check. Sexy new bra and underwear? Double-check. I typically didn’t give it up on a first date, but a girl can never be too prepared.
The doorbell rang and I did an excited little dance on my way downstairs.
As I passed by the family photo on the wall, I said a quick Christmas prayer for Mama and Papa in heaven. I may be a middling/poor Catholic—not sure I believe any of it, anymore—but there are some things about the way I was brought up that still feel right, regardless.
“Wish me luck, guys,” I said.
Then I opened the door and smiled at the scrumptious stud-muffin standing on my front porch.
I admit, I was a bit let down to see how casually Connor had dressed for our date—blue jeans and a faded bomber jacket—and he hadn’t brought me flowers or anything (sue me, I’m old-fashioned). Still, he was definitely the sexiest man I’d ever laid eyes on, and my mind was already racing ahead to what we might be getting up to later on in the evening.
“Hey there, handsome!” I beamed.
“Hey Ria! You look… very, very hot.” His eyes were already going everywhere, checking me out.
That horny voice in the back of my head suggested skipping our plans altogether and just inviting Connor up to my bedroom right then and there—but I really did want the chance to get to know him better first, and I’d already promised Tracy that we’d make it a double date with her and some supposedly “gorgeous” guy named Shane she’d met at work.
Plus, who can say no to cotton candy?
The four of us arranged to meet up at a big holiday-themed carnival that had been set up in the center of town. Bright lights, fried food, and a menagerie of those whirl-a-puke roller coaster things. It was a bit chilly to be outside, but I figured I could always warm myself by snuggling up against Connor.
“Ria!”
I spun to see Tracy running towards me through the crowd, drawing everyone’s attention with the way her porno-sized boobs bounced around beneath her sweater. I loved that girl to death, but damn if she didn’t know what a spectacle she made when she did that.
She wrapped me up in a big, friendly hug, and then—
Her eyes glazed over when she saw Connor. Not that I could blame her, exactly, but if you ask me she was looking at him a little harder than she really needed to. And Connor was checking HER out a little more than he needed to, as well. Not that I could really blame him, either. I’ve got a pretty decent set of curves, but my bra-size doesn’t register nearly as far up into the alphabet as Tracy’s does.
Still, those two could have at least been subtle about it. You dance with the one that brung ya’, right?
“Ahem,” I said, breaking the spell. “Trace, where’s YOUR date?”
“Huh? Oh right! Shane. I ran ahead when I saw you. He’s right back there.”
Typical Tracy, ditching her date five seconds into the evening. The girl was a total sweetie, but she could be so clueless sometimes. I followed her gaze to discover a very average-looking guy hurrying to join us. This was her “gorgeous” man from the office? Average height, average build—really the only thing special at all about him was the color of his eyes. They were a sparkling blue-green, like the abalone necklace my mom used to wear when I was a kid.
Fine, maybe he was a bit better than average-looking, I don’t know. But definitely not as sexy as Tracy had described him over the phone. Not like my Connor.
“Nice to meet you,” he said. His smile was sweet and earnest, a far cry from the playful smirk Connor always wore.
Shane turned his attention back to Tracy and said, “Here, some guy was selling these over by the hotdog stand. Merry Christmas.”
To my chagrin, he handed her a bouquet of flowers.
********
SHANE
********
I’d gotten a little miffed that Tracy had just bolted ahead of me through the crowd like that, and then a little more miffed when I’d finally spotted her making goo-goo eyes at her friend’s date, and then a little MORE miffed when I’d realized said guy looked like exactly the sort of bloke who used to throw me in the dumpster every day in the 7th grade.
But, thankfully, I realized I was being stupid. I hadn’t even met these people yet, and I was already talking myself into having another downer of a Christmas. Well, not this year! This year I was going to have some fun, maybe make a few friends, and, if Santa Clause was feeling a bit generous later tonight, even go home with Tracy.
Once we’d all broken the ice by surviving a ride on the Tilt-O-Tron, the four of us actually hit it off amazingly well. It helped that we all had one big thing in common: none of us had anyone to share the holidays with. Ria and I had both lost our parents, Connor wasn’t on speaking terms with his family, and Tracy’s was overseas.
“So then, you guys know what it’s like!” Connor laughed. “To tell someone you’re not celebrating Christmas and watch them freak out. Like, they’re worried you’re gonna go door to door and tear down all the mistletoe or something.”
It hadn’t been fair of me to dismiss Connor as a “dumb jock” the way I had at first. Despite our differences (he was an amateur kick-boxer who played fantasy football, I was an aspiring painter who played World of Warcraft), we got along like we’d been friends for years. We didn’t see eye-to-eye on much of anything, but sometimes a buddy you can have a good-natured argument with is more fun than a buddy whose brain works the exact same way yours does. Even if the girls hadn’t been there, I probably would have still had a fun evening, just hanging with Connor.
But, although my first impression of Connor had proven incorrect, my first impression of Tracy’s friend Maria (or “Ria,” as she liked to be called), was irrefutable: the girl was a knockout. Short, slender, and sultry. Deep, dark eyes and bronze Latin skin. Tiny waist, terrific butt, and perky, perfect tits. She probably could have been a model, if she wasn’t five feet tall.
Ria was every bit as sexy as my own date, but while Tracy’s impossible curves looked almost like an exaggeration, Ria looked more “real.” She acted more real, too. Fun as Tracy was to talk to, she had her head in the clouds half the time. That girlish energy was cute, but it was also hard for me to really connect with. Ria, on the other hand, was down to earth and just plain cool. She always looked you right in the eye during a conversation.
“How long have you two girls been friends for?” I asked.
They exchanged a quick glance, and then Ria answered, “It’s gotta be seven years now. Back in college, we used to waitress for the same restaurant.”
“Which restaurant?” Connor asked.
Ria shrugged, “Just some tacky sports bar.”
Tracy was biting her lip, clearly fighting the urge to say more. I spun to my date, looked into her gorgeous green eyes, and asked, “Okay, what isn’t she telling us?”
“Nothing!” she giggled.
“’Nothing’ my ass. Come on, what’s the big deal?”
“It was a Hooters!” Tracy blurted out, grinning wickedly.
I blinked. For at least a minute, all I could think about was how insanely fucking hot Ria and Tracy must have looked wearing those skin-tight Hooters uniforms over their young, voluptuous bodies: That white tank-top stretched to the limit over Tracy’s phenomenal breasts. Those bright orange short-shorts hugging up against the cheeks of Ria’s firm, squeezable butt.
Their tip money must have been off the charts.
“Wish I could have been a customer,” Connor teased.
Ria blushed, giving Tracy the evil eye for telling us.
“Oh whatever!” Tracy chirped. “We were nineteen years old and it was an adventure. I’ve got no regrets.”
But Ria was clearly embarrassed, and I felt bad for bringing up. So, before Connor and Tracy could utter another wise crack, I changed the subject:
“Who’s up for another ride on one of these haphazardly-assembled Carnie death traps?”
While the Tracy and Connor started arguing over which ride looked the most dangerous, Ria turned in my direction and mouthed a silent “thank you.” Warmth flooded though my chest.
It was an odd moment for me. Ever since that afternoon, Tracy had been all I could think about. I’d been fantasizing non-stop about where our date tonight might lead—imagining my first glimpse of her incredible, nude body—or the sweet expression on her wholesome face as she devoured the length of my cock—or the way she would moan while I grabbed onto her big, swinging tits and fucked her doggy-style on my bed.
And yet, as the night wore on, I found myself thinking more and more about her friend, instead. After a few hours, Tracy’s incredible body seemed somehow less important than Ria’s incredible smile.
“She’s stunning, isn’t she?” Tracy whispered in my ear.
“Huh?”
“Ria. You keep staring at her.”
“Oh! Uh, yeah, she’s pretty. I guess.”
My date gave me a knowing grin and I kicked myself for being so classless. Here I was, lucky enough to be on a date with a fun, sexy girl like Tracy, and I couldn’t stop thinking about her friend. What the hell was wrong with me? It’s not like Ria was interested in me; she had her own man to fawn over. A guy who made me look like Jimmy Olsen, in comparison.
By ten o’clock, most of the families with small children had left the carnival to head home. I watched a family of three walk past us—two blissful but exhausted parents carrying their tuckered-out eight-year old. To your average person, it was an adorable sight. Just another Hallmark moment. But to me—
“It sucks, doesn’t it?” Ria asked.
She was watching the all-too-happy family, as well.
“I used to think their birthdays would be the worst,” Ria continued, “but on Christmas—”
I nodded, “On Christmas, you can’t get away from it. Everywhere you look, it’s ‘FAMILY, FAMILY, FAMILY,’ in bright fucking lights.”
The all-too-familiar twisting stomach pain I always got when I thought about my parents’ deaths reared its ugly head. I looked back over at Ria and asked, “Were you close to them?”
“Puerto Rican parents with only one child? Oh yeah. You?”
“Not so much.”
Her eyes met mine. “You think that made it easier?”
“Maybe. But it kills me to think I didn’t take advantage of the time I had with them.”
Ria looked away into space, considering my words for a moment, then sidled back over to Connor, who was so busy arranging the condiments on his nachos that he hadn’t heard a word we’d said. I was happy to let the matter drop, not wanting to spoil the fun of our double date with any more unwelcome memories.
For the next hour, the disparity between Connor and myself became even more evident as we playfully competed in a succession of silly carnival games. Connor could kick my ass at anything sports-related (like fast-balling a stack of leaden milk bottles) whereas I proved triumphant at everything requiring delicacy (pub-darting a brightly colored balloon).
At the start of the games, things went pretty much as you’d expect, with our respective dates rooting for each of us appropriately. But when Connor stripped off his bomber jacket to swing a rubber mallet at the High Striker, Tracy let out a wolf-whistle:
“Whoo! Come on, Connor!”
“Hey!” Ria let out a cry of mock indignation. “You don’t get to cheer for my date!”
“I wasn’t cheering for him, I was cheering for his arms.”
I let it slide. After all, my eyes had spent a good chunk of the night focused on Ria.
When we moved onto the next event—bouncing ping pong balls into jars of water—Ria got her revenge by cheering for me instead of Connor. With years of beer pong experience under my belt, I easily defeated my much larger opponent, and figured it was only fair to give Ria the prize:
“Alright!” She pumped her fist in victory. “A half-dead baby goldfish in a bag. Just what I always wanted!”
We named our goldfish “Pete.”
From that moment on, the wires were crossed for our little group. Tracy cheered Connor, and Ria cheered me. By the time our money ran out, the girls had literally switched sides, and I got very comfortable with Ria hanging onto my arm. Each time I won, she’d reward me with a hug, pressing her soft, sexy little body up against me. We were all just being silly, of course, but I secretly really enjoyed all the attention I was getting from Tracy’s beautiful friend. Even if it was only pretend.
Finally, with more tacky stuffed animals than we could reasonably carry around the carnival, Connor and I briefly left the girls behind while we went to stash the prizes in our cars.
“Holy shit,” he whispered to me, once we were out of earshot of the girls. “Those ladies are gorgeous.”
“No kidding. You’re a lucky guy, Connor. Ria seems really cool.”
“Oh, she’s amazing,” he agreed. “Stopping by her office is the best part of my week. But—“
“But what?”
“Listen, I know I’m a dick for saying this, but Tracy is just so much fun. And SO hot.”
I stopped at my car, depositing all the carnival prizes in my trunk. I tried to sound casual as I asked:
“Are you saying Tracy’s more your type?”
“No! I don’t know. I’m just saying it’d be pretty horrible to have to choose between the two of them, wouldn’t it?”
I nodded in agreement, and Connor quietly asked, “Why, are you more interested in Ria?”
A voice in my head screamed “YES,” but I wasn’t sure I believed it. I really, really liked Ria. That much I knew for sure. It even felt like there was already some kind of connection between us, though we’d only just met a few hours ago. She was genuine and intriguing and relatable—and beautiful enough to write songs about.
But I dreaded to think that I might be turning down an opportunity for some hot, sweaty holiday sex with Tracy.
“I don’t know,” I said at last. “But it doesn’t matter. I doubt either of those girls would appreciate it if we told them we wanted to switch dates at the last second.”
********
RIA
********
Tracy looked fit to burst. After all our years of friendship, I’d learned how to spot the signs when she got too horny for her own good—and right now she was bordering on manic. Something told me Shane was going to be a very lucky boy indeed come Christmas morning.
I felt a stab of jealousy at the thought of them alone together. Not that I had anything to complain about—not with the prospect of Connor driving me home in a little while—but in spite of everything, I’d gradually started thinking of Shane as my date, not Tracy’s. He was charming and romantic, whereas Connor seemed content to just be a goof. And, though my first impression of Shane had been that he was scarcely better than average-looking, each successive minute we spent together somehow seemed to transform him. The way he scrunched up his mouth before he laughed, the warmth in his eyes each time he smiled at me—it all just fit his personality so perfectly. By the time the boys left to go stow all those stuffed animals in their cars, I’d decided that Shane was actually one of the most beautiful men I’d ever met.
And in a couple hours, he’d be having sex with my best friend…
“Oh my god, Connor is such a hunk!” Tracy exclaimed, yanking me back into reality.
SHANE
********
Most of my coworkers spent the day grumbling about the fact that they all had to come into the office on Christmas Eve. Everyone was so distracted by thoughts of hearty family dinners, mysterious pretty boxes, and little pine trees wrapped up with blinking lights, that hardly any work got done all day. But working on Christmas had never really bothered me. My parents had passed away a few years earlier, I had no siblings or extended family to speak of, and I’d never been particularly a religious sort of fellow in the first place. As far as I was concerned, I wasn’t missing anything by putting in a few extra hours at the office.
Problem was, I wasn’t concentrating on my work, either. Not because of the Christmas spirit, but because of the new girl sitting at the cubicle beside mine, her gorgeous figure a constant fixture in my peripheral vision.
To use the parlance of my ancestors, Tracy was a “honey.” Sandy brown hair, enormous green eyes, and a playful, girl-next-door smile that conjured images of Homecoming dances and first kisses at summer camp. Her disproportionately large breasts—currently filling out a festive holiday sweater—were so spectacular that I imagined they would jump-start the puberty process for every boy lucky enough to catch a glimpse of her in profile. No doubt she’d broken a lot of hearts growing up.
I glanced back at my computer and let out an audible laugh when I realized just how pathetically little work I’d managed to get done.
“What’s so funny?” Tracy asked, peeking into my cubicle.
“Nothing, I’m just having trouble keeping myself on-task today.”
“Too excited about the holidays?”
I shrugged. People always acted weird when I told them I didn’t celebrate Christmas. Like it meant I had some personal vendetta against all joy, everywhere in the world. When a young, single guy with no living family doesn’t celebrate Thanksgiving, nobody bats an eye. But Christmas? What sort of monster doesn’t like Christmas?!
Over the years, I’d basically mastered the art of the non-answer to such questions:
“Actually, I generally like keep things pretty low-key. How about you?”
“No plans,” she said a bit dejectedly.
That caught me by surprise.
“Really?”
“I usually spend it with my brother, but he’s deployed overseas this year, and my best friend is gonna be busy hanging out with this new guy she’s dating, so—yeah, no plans.”
“No way, that’s awesome!” I said. Tracy raised an eyebrow at my callous enthusiasm, so I hurriedly clarified: “Not the fact that you don’t have plans—that’s not what’s awesome. I mean, it’s awesome for me. Or, I mean, it could be.”
Fuck. It’d been years since I’d gotten this tongue-tied over a pretty girl. I made a goofy, self-deprecating face, and tried one last time:
“What I’m TRYING to say is—”
“Trying and failing,” she teased.
“—Is that I don’t have any Christmas plans, either. So, if you’re not doing anything, maybe we can hang out.”
“Ah, I see,” she flashed me a coy smile. “Would this ‘hanging out’ you describe involve, like, a date of some kind?”
“Sure, if that’s what you want.”
She tapped her pencil thoughtfully on her knee, considering my offer while her eyes gave me the once-over. I held my breath, wondering what she thought of me. My appearance has always been kind of polarizing when it comes to the opposite sex. To half the women in the world, I’m invisible. The “nice guy.” “Not bad.” A “teddy bear.”
To the other half, I apparently look like a movie star. I provoke sighs of longing, secret love letters, and doodles in diaries surrounded by dozens of hearts.
Doesn’t make sense to me, either. I guess it’s like how cilantro tastes like soap to some people. I just hoped Tracy didn’t see Teddy Ruxpin when she looked at me.
“Tell you what,” She said, at last. “Remember how I said my friend is gonna be busy hanging out with some guy? Well, she invited me to tag along, but I didn’t want to be a third wheel.”
“I see. But if you show up with me…”
“Exactly, then it’s not awkward. How would you feel about doing, like, a double date thing with the two of them? My friend Ria is awesome, and this guy Connor she met is supposedly pretty cool, too.”
“Hey, a double date sounds good to me. Long as the word ‘date’ is in there somewhere.”
“Great!” she chirped. “You can pick me up at seven.”
Glowing inside, I turned back to my desk and spent the next hour utterly failing to get any work done. Maybe I was gonna have a Merry Christmas, after all. How many times do you get to go out with a girl like Tracy?
********
RIA
********
How many times do you get to go out with a stud like Connor? I mean, seriously, he’s just so damn yummy, head to toe. Those eyes, those dimples, muscles on muscles on muscles… I’d been horny pretty much non-stop since he asked me out last week. And now, with less than an hour to go before our date—
Where the fuck was my straightening iron?! Seriously, I always kept it in the same spot, and it had no business abandoning me in my moment of need.
Aargh!
I plopped onto the bed—deep breath—calm down, Ria. I’d remember where I put it if I could just stop thinking about Connor’s big strong arms for like two seconds.
Overnight bag! Yes, from last weekend!
Victorious, I ironed the frizz out of my long, dark hair—damn you, winter climate—and put the finishing touches on my appearance:
Hair? Check. Killer eye-shadow? Check. Badass leather jacket? Check. Sexy new bra and underwear? Double-check. I typically didn’t give it up on a first date, but a girl can never be too prepared.
The doorbell rang and I did an excited little dance on my way downstairs.
As I passed by the family photo on the wall, I said a quick Christmas prayer for Mama and Papa in heaven. I may be a middling/poor Catholic—not sure I believe any of it, anymore—but there are some things about the way I was brought up that still feel right, regardless.
“Wish me luck, guys,” I said.
Then I opened the door and smiled at the scrumptious stud-muffin standing on my front porch.
I admit, I was a bit let down to see how casually Connor had dressed for our date—blue jeans and a faded bomber jacket—and he hadn’t brought me flowers or anything (sue me, I’m old-fashioned). Still, he was definitely the sexiest man I’d ever laid eyes on, and my mind was already racing ahead to what we might be getting up to later on in the evening.
“Hey there, handsome!” I beamed.
“Hey Ria! You look… very, very hot.” His eyes were already going everywhere, checking me out.
That horny voice in the back of my head suggested skipping our plans altogether and just inviting Connor up to my bedroom right then and there—but I really did want the chance to get to know him better first, and I’d already promised Tracy that we’d make it a double date with her and some supposedly “gorgeous” guy named Shane she’d met at work.
Plus, who can say no to cotton candy?
The four of us arranged to meet up at a big holiday-themed carnival that had been set up in the center of town. Bright lights, fried food, and a menagerie of those whirl-a-puke roller coaster things. It was a bit chilly to be outside, but I figured I could always warm myself by snuggling up against Connor.
“Ria!”
I spun to see Tracy running towards me through the crowd, drawing everyone’s attention with the way her porno-sized boobs bounced around beneath her sweater. I loved that girl to death, but damn if she didn’t know what a spectacle she made when she did that.
She wrapped me up in a big, friendly hug, and then—
Her eyes glazed over when she saw Connor. Not that I could blame her, exactly, but if you ask me she was looking at him a little harder than she really needed to. And Connor was checking HER out a little more than he needed to, as well. Not that I could really blame him, either. I’ve got a pretty decent set of curves, but my bra-size doesn’t register nearly as far up into the alphabet as Tracy’s does.
Still, those two could have at least been subtle about it. You dance with the one that brung ya’, right?
“Ahem,” I said, breaking the spell. “Trace, where’s YOUR date?”
“Huh? Oh right! Shane. I ran ahead when I saw you. He’s right back there.”
Typical Tracy, ditching her date five seconds into the evening. The girl was a total sweetie, but she could be so clueless sometimes. I followed her gaze to discover a very average-looking guy hurrying to join us. This was her “gorgeous” man from the office? Average height, average build—really the only thing special at all about him was the color of his eyes. They were a sparkling blue-green, like the abalone necklace my mom used to wear when I was a kid.
Fine, maybe he was a bit better than average-looking, I don’t know. But definitely not as sexy as Tracy had described him over the phone. Not like my Connor.
“Nice to meet you,” he said. His smile was sweet and earnest, a far cry from the playful smirk Connor always wore.
Shane turned his attention back to Tracy and said, “Here, some guy was selling these over by the hotdog stand. Merry Christmas.”
To my chagrin, he handed her a bouquet of flowers.
********
SHANE
********
I’d gotten a little miffed that Tracy had just bolted ahead of me through the crowd like that, and then a little more miffed when I’d finally spotted her making goo-goo eyes at her friend’s date, and then a little MORE miffed when I’d realized said guy looked like exactly the sort of bloke who used to throw me in the dumpster every day in the 7th grade.
But, thankfully, I realized I was being stupid. I hadn’t even met these people yet, and I was already talking myself into having another downer of a Christmas. Well, not this year! This year I was going to have some fun, maybe make a few friends, and, if Santa Clause was feeling a bit generous later tonight, even go home with Tracy.
Once we’d all broken the ice by surviving a ride on the Tilt-O-Tron, the four of us actually hit it off amazingly well. It helped that we all had one big thing in common: none of us had anyone to share the holidays with. Ria and I had both lost our parents, Connor wasn’t on speaking terms with his family, and Tracy’s was overseas.
“So then, you guys know what it’s like!” Connor laughed. “To tell someone you’re not celebrating Christmas and watch them freak out. Like, they’re worried you’re gonna go door to door and tear down all the mistletoe or something.”
It hadn’t been fair of me to dismiss Connor as a “dumb jock” the way I had at first. Despite our differences (he was an amateur kick-boxer who played fantasy football, I was an aspiring painter who played World of Warcraft), we got along like we’d been friends for years. We didn’t see eye-to-eye on much of anything, but sometimes a buddy you can have a good-natured argument with is more fun than a buddy whose brain works the exact same way yours does. Even if the girls hadn’t been there, I probably would have still had a fun evening, just hanging with Connor.
But, although my first impression of Connor had proven incorrect, my first impression of Tracy’s friend Maria (or “Ria,” as she liked to be called), was irrefutable: the girl was a knockout. Short, slender, and sultry. Deep, dark eyes and bronze Latin skin. Tiny waist, terrific butt, and perky, perfect tits. She probably could have been a model, if she wasn’t five feet tall.
Ria was every bit as sexy as my own date, but while Tracy’s impossible curves looked almost like an exaggeration, Ria looked more “real.” She acted more real, too. Fun as Tracy was to talk to, she had her head in the clouds half the time. That girlish energy was cute, but it was also hard for me to really connect with. Ria, on the other hand, was down to earth and just plain cool. She always looked you right in the eye during a conversation.
“How long have you two girls been friends for?” I asked.
They exchanged a quick glance, and then Ria answered, “It’s gotta be seven years now. Back in college, we used to waitress for the same restaurant.”
“Which restaurant?” Connor asked.
Ria shrugged, “Just some tacky sports bar.”
Tracy was biting her lip, clearly fighting the urge to say more. I spun to my date, looked into her gorgeous green eyes, and asked, “Okay, what isn’t she telling us?”
“Nothing!” she giggled.
“’Nothing’ my ass. Come on, what’s the big deal?”
“It was a Hooters!” Tracy blurted out, grinning wickedly.
I blinked. For at least a minute, all I could think about was how insanely fucking hot Ria and Tracy must have looked wearing those skin-tight Hooters uniforms over their young, voluptuous bodies: That white tank-top stretched to the limit over Tracy’s phenomenal breasts. Those bright orange short-shorts hugging up against the cheeks of Ria’s firm, squeezable butt.
Their tip money must have been off the charts.
“Wish I could have been a customer,” Connor teased.
Ria blushed, giving Tracy the evil eye for telling us.
“Oh whatever!” Tracy chirped. “We were nineteen years old and it was an adventure. I’ve got no regrets.”
But Ria was clearly embarrassed, and I felt bad for bringing up. So, before Connor and Tracy could utter another wise crack, I changed the subject:
“Who’s up for another ride on one of these haphazardly-assembled Carnie death traps?”
While the Tracy and Connor started arguing over which ride looked the most dangerous, Ria turned in my direction and mouthed a silent “thank you.” Warmth flooded though my chest.
It was an odd moment for me. Ever since that afternoon, Tracy had been all I could think about. I’d been fantasizing non-stop about where our date tonight might lead—imagining my first glimpse of her incredible, nude body—or the sweet expression on her wholesome face as she devoured the length of my cock—or the way she would moan while I grabbed onto her big, swinging tits and fucked her doggy-style on my bed.
And yet, as the night wore on, I found myself thinking more and more about her friend, instead. After a few hours, Tracy’s incredible body seemed somehow less important than Ria’s incredible smile.
“She’s stunning, isn’t she?” Tracy whispered in my ear.
“Huh?”
“Ria. You keep staring at her.”
“Oh! Uh, yeah, she’s pretty. I guess.”
My date gave me a knowing grin and I kicked myself for being so classless. Here I was, lucky enough to be on a date with a fun, sexy girl like Tracy, and I couldn’t stop thinking about her friend. What the hell was wrong with me? It’s not like Ria was interested in me; she had her own man to fawn over. A guy who made me look like Jimmy Olsen, in comparison.
By ten o’clock, most of the families with small children had left the carnival to head home. I watched a family of three walk past us—two blissful but exhausted parents carrying their tuckered-out eight-year old. To your average person, it was an adorable sight. Just another Hallmark moment. But to me—
“It sucks, doesn’t it?” Ria asked.
She was watching the all-too-happy family, as well.
“I used to think their birthdays would be the worst,” Ria continued, “but on Christmas—”
I nodded, “On Christmas, you can’t get away from it. Everywhere you look, it’s ‘FAMILY, FAMILY, FAMILY,’ in bright fucking lights.”
The all-too-familiar twisting stomach pain I always got when I thought about my parents’ deaths reared its ugly head. I looked back over at Ria and asked, “Were you close to them?”
“Puerto Rican parents with only one child? Oh yeah. You?”
“Not so much.”
Her eyes met mine. “You think that made it easier?”
“Maybe. But it kills me to think I didn’t take advantage of the time I had with them.”
Ria looked away into space, considering my words for a moment, then sidled back over to Connor, who was so busy arranging the condiments on his nachos that he hadn’t heard a word we’d said. I was happy to let the matter drop, not wanting to spoil the fun of our double date with any more unwelcome memories.
For the next hour, the disparity between Connor and myself became even more evident as we playfully competed in a succession of silly carnival games. Connor could kick my ass at anything sports-related (like fast-balling a stack of leaden milk bottles) whereas I proved triumphant at everything requiring delicacy (pub-darting a brightly colored balloon).
At the start of the games, things went pretty much as you’d expect, with our respective dates rooting for each of us appropriately. But when Connor stripped off his bomber jacket to swing a rubber mallet at the High Striker, Tracy let out a wolf-whistle:
“Whoo! Come on, Connor!”
“Hey!” Ria let out a cry of mock indignation. “You don’t get to cheer for my date!”
“I wasn’t cheering for him, I was cheering for his arms.”
I let it slide. After all, my eyes had spent a good chunk of the night focused on Ria.
When we moved onto the next event—bouncing ping pong balls into jars of water—Ria got her revenge by cheering for me instead of Connor. With years of beer pong experience under my belt, I easily defeated my much larger opponent, and figured it was only fair to give Ria the prize:
“Alright!” She pumped her fist in victory. “A half-dead baby goldfish in a bag. Just what I always wanted!”
We named our goldfish “Pete.”
From that moment on, the wires were crossed for our little group. Tracy cheered Connor, and Ria cheered me. By the time our money ran out, the girls had literally switched sides, and I got very comfortable with Ria hanging onto my arm. Each time I won, she’d reward me with a hug, pressing her soft, sexy little body up against me. We were all just being silly, of course, but I secretly really enjoyed all the attention I was getting from Tracy’s beautiful friend. Even if it was only pretend.
Finally, with more tacky stuffed animals than we could reasonably carry around the carnival, Connor and I briefly left the girls behind while we went to stash the prizes in our cars.
“Holy shit,” he whispered to me, once we were out of earshot of the girls. “Those ladies are gorgeous.”
“No kidding. You’re a lucky guy, Connor. Ria seems really cool.”
“Oh, she’s amazing,” he agreed. “Stopping by her office is the best part of my week. But—“
“But what?”
“Listen, I know I’m a dick for saying this, but Tracy is just so much fun. And SO hot.”
I stopped at my car, depositing all the carnival prizes in my trunk. I tried to sound casual as I asked:
“Are you saying Tracy’s more your type?”
“No! I don’t know. I’m just saying it’d be pretty horrible to have to choose between the two of them, wouldn’t it?”
I nodded in agreement, and Connor quietly asked, “Why, are you more interested in Ria?”
A voice in my head screamed “YES,” but I wasn’t sure I believed it. I really, really liked Ria. That much I knew for sure. It even felt like there was already some kind of connection between us, though we’d only just met a few hours ago. She was genuine and intriguing and relatable—and beautiful enough to write songs about.
But I dreaded to think that I might be turning down an opportunity for some hot, sweaty holiday sex with Tracy.
“I don’t know,” I said at last. “But it doesn’t matter. I doubt either of those girls would appreciate it if we told them we wanted to switch dates at the last second.”
********
RIA
********
Tracy looked fit to burst. After all our years of friendship, I’d learned how to spot the signs when she got too horny for her own good—and right now she was bordering on manic. Something told me Shane was going to be a very lucky boy indeed come Christmas morning.
I felt a stab of jealousy at the thought of them alone together. Not that I had anything to complain about—not with the prospect of Connor driving me home in a little while—but in spite of everything, I’d gradually started thinking of Shane as my date, not Tracy’s. He was charming and romantic, whereas Connor seemed content to just be a goof. And, though my first impression of Shane had been that he was scarcely better than average-looking, each successive minute we spent together somehow seemed to transform him. The way he scrunched up his mouth before he laughed, the warmth in his eyes each time he smiled at me—it all just fit his personality so perfectly. By the time the boys left to go stow all those stuffed animals in their cars, I’d decided that Shane was actually one of the most beautiful men I’d ever met.
And in a couple hours, he’d be having sex with my best friend…
“Oh my god, Connor is such a hunk!” Tracy exclaimed, yanking me back into reality.
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“When he took off his jacket to swing the hammer at that thing—Whoo! It was like Thor the God of Hotness had descended from the heavens. How did you ever get lucky enough to land a man like that?”
I shrugged, “Our story isn’t exactly a Nicholas Sparks novel, honey. Connor works for FedEx, and he drops off packages at my office every Tuesday. Last week, he asked me out. That pretty much brings us to the present.”
Tracy let out a hungry moan to make sure I knew exactly what was on her mind. “Mmm! Sexy delivery guy. I wouldn’t mind him delivering his package to ME every day, if you know what I mean.”
“I’m fairly certain I do, yes.”
She leaned in close, conspiring: “You have to tell me what you think of Shane. Isn’t he cute?”
“At first, I didn’t really think so, but—“
“But those EYES, right? I swear, he’s like a sorcerer or something. The more time you look at him, the sexier he gets.”
I giggled, nodding my agreement.
Tracy frowned a little bit and added, “I just wish he wasn’t so… sweet.”
“Sweet? Why wouldn’t you want a guy to be sweet?”
“It just feels kind of cheesy, I don’t know. Like, did he really have to buy me those flowers?”
“I love that he bought you flowers! It was romantic! Seriously, I wish Connor had done something like that for me.”
Tracy’s lips spread into a wicked smile. I stopped in my tracks, jabbing an accusing finger at her—
“Hang on a second, I know that face. That’s your ‘evil’ face! What are you scheming at?”
“You’d get mad at me if I told you.”
“Well now you REALLY have to fess up. Out with it!”
Tracy actually blushed—I could count on one hand the number of times THAT’s happened—and she blurted out, “I was wondering if you’d be interested in switching dates.”
My heart skipped a beat. The breath caught in my throat. I didn’t know what to say.
“It was just an idea!” Tracy hurriedly insisted. “I don’t wanna cause any drama. But can we at least agree that they’re both really-super-good-looking and awesome guys? And you and Shane just seem to be more… Actually, you know what? Never mind. Forget I said anything.”
“Me and Shane seem to be more what?” I whispered.
“More compatible. And I really like him, too—obviously—but I think Connor is just more my style. I feel like he gets me.”
Switch dates? Is that actually what I wanted? I’d been looking forward to a night with Connor for so long—ever since I’d first laid eyes on him, really. Urgh! 26 years of life, and I meet both these guys on the same day? What are the chances? Why couldn’t I have met one of them a year from now, AFTER I’d already had a chance to screw the other guy a few thousand times?
“They’re not library books, Trace. We can’t just ‘trade’ them back and forth whenever we feel like it. Besides, what makes you think they would even go for it?”
“Only one way to find out. What do you say? Would you rather go home with Connor or Shane? They’re gonna be back any second, I wanna know what you think!”
This was such a bad idea. For all their tough-guy huffing and puffing, men are really sensitive when it comes to stuff like this. They don’t want to feel interchangeable any more than we do. Even the horniest guys will lose their temper and storm off if you make them feel small.
I spotted our two sexy dates walking back towards us through the carnival. Shane smiled when he saw me, and my heart just melted. I felt tingly all over. Sorcerer, indeed. The idea of going home without him was too much to bear, even if it meant I’d have to skip out on ever seeing Connor naked.
“Let’s do it,” I breathed excitedly.
********
SHANE
********
“Okay, it’s ten minutes to midnight,” I said to the others. “How do you guys want to celebrate Christmas?”
Ria held up the goldfish I’d won her and jokingly answered, “Not that I want to sound ungrateful or anything, but we should probably release Pete here back into the wild at some point.”
“There’s a creek over by the Tunnel of Love,” Connor pointed out.
“Ooh, the Tunnel of Love. That sounds fun,” Tracy cooed, snuggling up to my side. I couldn’t help but notice that she was looking at Connor as she said it, instead of me.
“Yeah, what do you all say?” Connor asked. “One more ride before we all head home for the evening?” He wrapped his great big arms around Ria’s tiny frame, and I fought back the urge to tell him to back off. He clearly had his eyes laser-focused on Tracy’s chest.
Ria looked at me, conflicted, and said, “Actually—” But she lost her nerve and refused to finish the sentence. “Shane, what do you wanna do?” she asked instead.
I could feel the soft presence of Tracy’s enormous bosom squeezing against my arm. DAMN, that woman was hot. I wanted her so badly…
But as I looked around at my three companions—each of us gazing longingly at the wrong person—I realized just how silly we were all behaving.
“I think the Tunnel of Love sounds awesome,” I said. “But if it’s okay with you guys, I wanna ride with Ria.”
The group went silent. No one said a word as Ria and Tracy switched places, nervously taking the hand of each other’s date. It was an awkward moment, to be sure, but it was also clearly what everybody wanted. As soon as we had traded, all four of us started grinning like idiots.
“Also, I’d rather we kept the goldfish,” I added.
Given the strong smell of chlorine as we approached the Tunnel of Love, I figured that it had probably been a good call not to dump poor Pete in the water there. The weather was cold and the hour was late, so the ride was totally empty of other people when we arrived. Ria and I bid the other couple “Merry Christmas” as they climbed inside one of the ride’s fiberglass swan-boats and disappeared into the tunnel.
Then it was our turn.
“I can’t believe they have an actual Tunnel of Love here!” I laughed, gently lowering Ria into the boat.
“Seriously, I thought these things went out of fashion in the twenties!”
But I wasn’t complaining. The seats were a lot roomier and more comfortable than I’d been expecting, and the elevated “wings” of the swan we were riding in did such a good job of concealing us from the outside world that we barely even needed the darkness of the tunnel to maintain privacy.
Once inside, the only illumination came from thousands of softly twinkling Christmas lights, lining the walls like festively-colored stars. Corny winter love songs blared out over tinny speakers to mask the sounds of lovers’ stolen kisses.
I draped an arm around my beautiful companion, holding her close. She lifted her lips to my ear and whispered:
“So, how come you wanted to ride with me? Instead of Tracy?”
“You want the honest answer? I gotta warn you, it’s gonna sound crazy.”
“Go for it.”
A thousand Christmas lights were reflected in those dark eyes of hers.
“I think I’m falling for you.”
And then, to the immortally awful tune of “I’ll Be Missing You Come Christmas” by the New Kids on the Block, she kissed me.
Pyrotechnics went off in my brain. Her lips were searing hot, pressing against me like naked flames. The winter air sizzled around us and I held close. Ria moaned, finally pulling away for a moment to catch her breath.
“I fucking love this song,” she panted. Then she climbed onto my lap and kissed me again.
Beneath the soft fabric of my slacks, I was hard as iron. I wrapped arms around her slender waist and, after dreaming about it all night long, I dropped my hands to her nice, tight ass and gave it a nice, firm squeeze. Her eyes closed and her head rolled back in pleasure—presenting me with the feminine curve of her neck. I teasingly ran my tongue across the skin of her throat, and she muttered something in Spanish.
Slowly, one of Ria’s hands slipped down off my shoulder, trailed down my chest, and, tentatively, reached between my legs to press down against the shape of my cock. Our eyes met again in the darkness—our lips crashed back together—and her gentle rubbing through my slacks became fierce and firm.
I promptly reached up beneath her shirt, cupping my palms beneath the delicate lace bra that supported her firm, young breasts—
Then the damn ride ended. We blinked into the lights of the carnival, frustrated beyond belief.
********
RIA
********
“Aw man! Just when things were getting interesting!” I whined.
Shane laughed and kissed me one last time. We looked up to see our two friends waiting for us off to the side.
“I take it you guys had a good time,” Tracy grinned, nodding between Shane’s legs.
I still had my hand down there. Quickly, I hopped off of him and did my best to get my pulse rate back down to normal as Connor helped me back onto solid ground.
“That was fun,” Connor said. “I’ve never been on one of those things before.”
Shane embarrassedly straightened out the bulge in his slacks before he got to his feet. “Yeah, it’s fun, but it’s way too short. I wish they’d just let us keep riding the thing, it’s not like there’s anybody else waiting in line here.”
I looked over at the exhausted Mexican guy operating the ride—bored out of his mind—and an idea popped into my head.
“Hang on guys, I’ll be right back.”
I strolled over to him, thrusting out my chest and batting my eyelashes as best I could. This sort of thing was typically beneath me (and Tracy’s way better at it than I am, anyway) but my experience serving hot wings at Hooters hadn’t been for naught. By the time I quit, I’d gotten pretty good at convincing men to do what I wanted.
“Excuse me,” I said.
The guy didn’t even bother looking up from the magazine he was reading. “No English,” he answered reflexively.
I couldn’t help but laugh. If he’d taken the effort just to glance in my direction, he’d have seen dark hair, dark skin, dark eyes—I’m as Latin as they come.
I switched over to Spanish and politely asked if he wouldn’t mind letting my friends and I stay on the ride for a little longer next time. Like, maybe, thirty or forty minutes?
He looked me up and down, uncertain.
“She’ll flash you,” I said, pointing over to Tracy and her gigantic boobs.
“En serio?” he asked.
“Si.”
Triumphant, I walked back over to my friends and told them that he’d agreed to let the boats stay in the tunnel for the next half hour or so. It would be a memorable Christmas, indeed.
“Wow, you go girl!” Tracy exclaimed. “How did you manage to convince him?”
“I’ll tell you once the ride’s over.”
And I couldn’t wait to see the look on her face when I did.
As our swan-boat drifted back into the twinkling lights of the tunnel, I wasted no time maneuvering myself back onto Shane’s lap, anxious for more action.
“You know, you’re pretty awesome,” he said to me.
“You’re pretty awesome yourself, cutie.”
I leaned in to kiss him, but he held me back and looked at me with those stunning, one-in-a-million eyes of his.
“No, seriously. Christmas has been kind of a downer for me the past couple of years. This is a really nice change.”
“I’m glad,” I whispered.
Then his eyes turned playful, once again. “Good thing I asked your friend to go out with me. We might never have met.”
“Yeah, good thing,” I agreed. Then I grabbed him by the hair and shut him up with a kiss.
Shane was a REALLY good kisser. He wasn’t afraid to be the man, but he knew when to back off and tease me a little. I could get used to kissing this guy. He lightly nipped at my lower lip, and I felt a shock of arousal zap through my body and down between my legs.
I leaned back and unzipped my coat, enjoying the way Shane’s gaze dropped appreciatively to my breasts. My nipples were poking through my blouse, screaming for some attention—so he leaned forward and licked me through the fabric.
Oh yeah… I could get used to that, too.
Still holding onto his hair, I pulled Shane’s head fiercely against my chest and rubbed my boobs back and forth across his face. He moaned loudly through the meat of my tit and then pushed me away, panting. Those beautiful eyes looked ravenously hungry.
“Take your fucking shirt off,” he ordered.
I was only too happy to obey, getting an extra kick out of the way his pelvis lurched beneath me the moment he saw my sexy new bra. I’d spent the better part of a day trying to find the perfect one in preparation for my date with Connor, and I was more than happy with my purchase. It was peach-colored and totally sheer, with loads of cleavage spilling out the top. The dark buds of my nipples were plainly visible through it, even in the low light of the tunnel.
Shane couldn’t keep his hands off me.
After a few minutes of being groped, I decided that my lover had WAY too many clothes on. I pulled his sweater and his shirt off of his body in one fell swoop, then started exploring his bare chest with my hands. He was in much better shape than I’d expected—a swimmer’s build, if I had to guess—and I gave myself a few minutes to enjoy caressing the lean, defined musculature of his abs while he fondled my tits.
The firmness of Shane’s erection dug into my crotch, and our hips slowly rocked together, dry-humping in the darkness. I felt Shane’s hands on my back, searching desperately for the clasp of my bra—which unfortunately for him was in the front. I spared him the trouble and just undid the thing myself, letting it snap off to either side as my unrestrained boobs bounced into his field of vision.
“Fuck yes,” he breathed, stuffing my tit in his mouth.
Jesus that felt good.
Just as had been promised, our boat came to a stop in the middle of the tunnel. The lights continued to twinkle romantically around us, but shutting down the motorized track had the unexpected side-effect of killing all the cheesy music, as well—
Meaning the only sounds in the tunnel were coming from the four of us.
Noisy kisses and ecstatic moans echoed off the walls. I recognized the sound of Connor’s desperate, shuddering breaths, and realized with a hint of jealousy that our friends in the next swan over were getting to the good stuff a bit faster than we were.
“Aw yeah, suck it!” Connor cried out.
He was so shamelessly loud, it was hilarious, but I couldn’t deny the fact that hearing the two of them go at it was getting me more aroused than ever. I pulled Shane’s eager lips off my erect nipple and playfully whispered, “Sounds like a good idea to me.”
My lover moaned as I kissed my way down his chest, outlining the definition in his abs with my tongue.
As I lowered my body between his legs, I felt my naked breasts glide along the shape of his erection. Shane reflexively bucked his hips up into my chest, so I decided to prolong the moment a bit more, slowly sliding the weight of my tits back and forth across his lap.
“Aah!” he moaned.
Shane couldn’t wait any longer. With shaking hands, he unbuckled his belt and unzipped his pants, liberating his impressive cock into the night air. I delicately closed my hand around the shaft, briefly testing its firmness, then
I planted a big, wet kiss at the base. He throbbed with desire as I trailed my mouth up his rigid length, pressing the flat of my tongue against him as I went. When I finally reached the top, I relaxed my lips—hungry for him—and slipped the warm, smooth head of his cock into my mouth.
“Oh god…” he sighed.
For fun, I twisted my head to the side, feeling the shape of his cock as it stretched out the inside of my cheek.
After a few more licks, I pulled my mouth off of him and sat back—teasing his slick erection back and forth across my cleavage. The exquisite, almost pained look on Shane’s face told me how close he was getting, and I couldn’t bear the thought of extending his agony any longer.
“You can come, if you want,” I whispered, flicking my tongue across his tip.
“Not—oh Jesus—Not yet.”
Then he lifted me up—away from his pulsing erection—and stood me up on the bench beside him. My pants dropped to my ankles a second later, leaving Shane face-to-face with the soaked, sheer lace panties I had bought to match my new bra.
He yanked them down with his teeth.
Thinking quickly, Shane bundled up his discarded sweater and set it on the top of our swan as a makeshift pillow for me. When I sat on it, my legs hung down on either side of his face. Shane gripped my naked ass and playfully licked his way up the firm muscle of my inner thigh.
I definitely liked where this was going.
From my elevated vantage point, I could actually see down into the swan-boat in front of us, where Tracy and Connor were already fucking each other. My eyes had adjusted enough to the darkness of the tunnel that I had a clear view of Connor’s broad, muscular back and the tops of Tracy’s pale, bouncing breasts. She rode him hard, smothering his face with her enormous bosom.
Damn, those two looked hot. The sight of their frantic love-making was one of the sexiest things I’d ever witnessed—
But I forgot all about them the second Shane’s talented tongue made contact with my criminally neglected pussy. The way he played with me—tugging at me with his lips, teasing and probing me with his tongue, perfectly satisfying my body’s every unspoken urge—he was an artist. My insides melted like butter.
I leaned back, bracing my hands on the back of the swan—and let out a yelp as the freezing fiberglass made contact with my palms. Shane immediately backed away, worried he had somehow hurt me.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
I laughed and explained, “Yeah, I just accidentally touched the boat. It’s really cold.”
“Maybe you should come back down here with me, where it’s warm.”
“Mmm, sounds good.”
I hopped off the back of the swan and happily straddled Shane’s lap once again—both of us completely naked, this time—luxuriating in the feel of his warm chest pressing against mine. We kissed again—hot and heavy—and I felt his hands slide down my back and over the firm globes of my ass. Apparently, he really liked my ass.
“Mmm…”
Shane moaned into my mouth as he squeezed, then he firmly pulled me forward, rubbing the rigid shaft of his penis against the soft fuzz of my pubic hair.
On shaky legs, I managed to raise myself up—lifting my body inch by inch—until I could feel the very tip of his cock pressing up into my cunt. I was so goddamn wet, it honestly took more effort to keep him from slipping in—but I wanted to prolong this moment for as long as I could…
“As long as I could” wound up being about four seconds. When I’d moved to position myself above him, I’d also inadvertently managed to shove my tits right back into Shane’s face. His mouth enveloped my puffy, sensitive nipples, and I gave in. The muscles in my legs turned to jelly as I dropped down on him, all at once—taking him to the hilt—filling myself with that beautiful cock.
The twinkling Christmas lights in the tunnel became a blur. I tried looking into my lover’s incredible eyes, but I was so light-headed with pleasure that everything was out of focus. The orgasmic screams of Tracy and Connor echoed all around us as Shane lifted me up the full length of his erection and then slammed me back down again.
“Oh Jesus…” my breath was weak. My words staggered and incoherent. Shane picked me up and slammed me down again. And again. Harder and harder, bouncing me on his lap.
God, this felt good. Finally, some satisfaction!
But wait, was that… music?
The voice of Bing Crosby crooned to life over the speakers. Beneath us, the ride started moving again.
“Aw, you gotta be kidding me!” Shane cried out. But I was not going to be denied.
“We still have time, we can finish,” I panted. I didn’t even care if it was true or not. I needed to come, and woe unto anyone who tried to stop me.
After a moment’s consideration, Shane just said, “Screw it,” and he went right back to fucking me. My whole world threatened to explode, and I braced my hands atop his shoulders, using my arms to help speed up our love-making as the swan-boat made its inexorable journey through the tunnel, towards the light at the end.
Moaning and groaning, we locked eyes and went into the home stretch. Shane’s body tensed beneath me, his hands powerfully gripping my ass. My naked breasts slapped against his chest with every blissful thrust. The ribbon of pleasure twisting in my body became absolutely unbearable—
Shane bit down on my earlobe and exploded inside of me, his cock spasming with every powerful spurt. I came loudly, screaming, not caring if everyone in the carnival heard me.
We finally fell limp against each other, kissing tenderly in the afterglow.
“Oh shit,” Shane whispered, and I spun to see that we were only seconds away from the tunnel’s exit. Seconds away from everyone getting a look at our sweaty, naked bodies. Shane and I fumbled frantically around our little swan-boat, grabbing for clothing—wrangling whatever we could manage.
I didn’t have time to get my blouse back on, so instead I just grabbed my leather jacket and pulled it around my bare chest to cover up.
When we emerged back into the open air, the carnival lights were blinding and the December air was freezing. By some miracle, Shane and I had gotten dressed—or at least we’d managed to cover up enough skin that we wouldn’t be arrested for indecent exposure.
Tracy and Connor climbed out of the boat ahead of us, their clothes and hair in hilarious disarray. They both seemed pretty pleased with themselves.
“Oh my god!” Tracy squealed, running over to hug me excitedly. “Did we really just do that? That was totally insane! We could totally hear the two of you!”
Shane lovingly wrapped his arms around me and said, “So, time to call it a night and head back home?”
“Actually,” I grinned, “first Tracy has to properly thank our wonderful ride operator for letting us stay in there so long.”
I shrugged, “Our story isn’t exactly a Nicholas Sparks novel, honey. Connor works for FedEx, and he drops off packages at my office every Tuesday. Last week, he asked me out. That pretty much brings us to the present.”
Tracy let out a hungry moan to make sure I knew exactly what was on her mind. “Mmm! Sexy delivery guy. I wouldn’t mind him delivering his package to ME every day, if you know what I mean.”
“I’m fairly certain I do, yes.”
She leaned in close, conspiring: “You have to tell me what you think of Shane. Isn’t he cute?”
“At first, I didn’t really think so, but—“
“But those EYES, right? I swear, he’s like a sorcerer or something. The more time you look at him, the sexier he gets.”
I giggled, nodding my agreement.
Tracy frowned a little bit and added, “I just wish he wasn’t so… sweet.”
“Sweet? Why wouldn’t you want a guy to be sweet?”
“It just feels kind of cheesy, I don’t know. Like, did he really have to buy me those flowers?”
“I love that he bought you flowers! It was romantic! Seriously, I wish Connor had done something like that for me.”
Tracy’s lips spread into a wicked smile. I stopped in my tracks, jabbing an accusing finger at her—
“Hang on a second, I know that face. That’s your ‘evil’ face! What are you scheming at?”
“You’d get mad at me if I told you.”
“Well now you REALLY have to fess up. Out with it!”
Tracy actually blushed—I could count on one hand the number of times THAT’s happened—and she blurted out, “I was wondering if you’d be interested in switching dates.”
My heart skipped a beat. The breath caught in my throat. I didn’t know what to say.
“It was just an idea!” Tracy hurriedly insisted. “I don’t wanna cause any drama. But can we at least agree that they’re both really-super-good-looking and awesome guys? And you and Shane just seem to be more… Actually, you know what? Never mind. Forget I said anything.”
“Me and Shane seem to be more what?” I whispered.
“More compatible. And I really like him, too—obviously—but I think Connor is just more my style. I feel like he gets me.”
Switch dates? Is that actually what I wanted? I’d been looking forward to a night with Connor for so long—ever since I’d first laid eyes on him, really. Urgh! 26 years of life, and I meet both these guys on the same day? What are the chances? Why couldn’t I have met one of them a year from now, AFTER I’d already had a chance to screw the other guy a few thousand times?
“They’re not library books, Trace. We can’t just ‘trade’ them back and forth whenever we feel like it. Besides, what makes you think they would even go for it?”
“Only one way to find out. What do you say? Would you rather go home with Connor or Shane? They’re gonna be back any second, I wanna know what you think!”
This was such a bad idea. For all their tough-guy huffing and puffing, men are really sensitive when it comes to stuff like this. They don’t want to feel interchangeable any more than we do. Even the horniest guys will lose their temper and storm off if you make them feel small.
I spotted our two sexy dates walking back towards us through the carnival. Shane smiled when he saw me, and my heart just melted. I felt tingly all over. Sorcerer, indeed. The idea of going home without him was too much to bear, even if it meant I’d have to skip out on ever seeing Connor naked.
“Let’s do it,” I breathed excitedly.
********
SHANE
********
“Okay, it’s ten minutes to midnight,” I said to the others. “How do you guys want to celebrate Christmas?”
Ria held up the goldfish I’d won her and jokingly answered, “Not that I want to sound ungrateful or anything, but we should probably release Pete here back into the wild at some point.”
“There’s a creek over by the Tunnel of Love,” Connor pointed out.
“Ooh, the Tunnel of Love. That sounds fun,” Tracy cooed, snuggling up to my side. I couldn’t help but notice that she was looking at Connor as she said it, instead of me.
“Yeah, what do you all say?” Connor asked. “One more ride before we all head home for the evening?” He wrapped his great big arms around Ria’s tiny frame, and I fought back the urge to tell him to back off. He clearly had his eyes laser-focused on Tracy’s chest.
Ria looked at me, conflicted, and said, “Actually—” But she lost her nerve and refused to finish the sentence. “Shane, what do you wanna do?” she asked instead.
I could feel the soft presence of Tracy’s enormous bosom squeezing against my arm. DAMN, that woman was hot. I wanted her so badly…
But as I looked around at my three companions—each of us gazing longingly at the wrong person—I realized just how silly we were all behaving.
“I think the Tunnel of Love sounds awesome,” I said. “But if it’s okay with you guys, I wanna ride with Ria.”
The group went silent. No one said a word as Ria and Tracy switched places, nervously taking the hand of each other’s date. It was an awkward moment, to be sure, but it was also clearly what everybody wanted. As soon as we had traded, all four of us started grinning like idiots.
“Also, I’d rather we kept the goldfish,” I added.
Given the strong smell of chlorine as we approached the Tunnel of Love, I figured that it had probably been a good call not to dump poor Pete in the water there. The weather was cold and the hour was late, so the ride was totally empty of other people when we arrived. Ria and I bid the other couple “Merry Christmas” as they climbed inside one of the ride’s fiberglass swan-boats and disappeared into the tunnel.
Then it was our turn.
“I can’t believe they have an actual Tunnel of Love here!” I laughed, gently lowering Ria into the boat.
“Seriously, I thought these things went out of fashion in the twenties!”
But I wasn’t complaining. The seats were a lot roomier and more comfortable than I’d been expecting, and the elevated “wings” of the swan we were riding in did such a good job of concealing us from the outside world that we barely even needed the darkness of the tunnel to maintain privacy.
Once inside, the only illumination came from thousands of softly twinkling Christmas lights, lining the walls like festively-colored stars. Corny winter love songs blared out over tinny speakers to mask the sounds of lovers’ stolen kisses.
I draped an arm around my beautiful companion, holding her close. She lifted her lips to my ear and whispered:
“So, how come you wanted to ride with me? Instead of Tracy?”
“You want the honest answer? I gotta warn you, it’s gonna sound crazy.”
“Go for it.”
A thousand Christmas lights were reflected in those dark eyes of hers.
“I think I’m falling for you.”
And then, to the immortally awful tune of “I’ll Be Missing You Come Christmas” by the New Kids on the Block, she kissed me.
Pyrotechnics went off in my brain. Her lips were searing hot, pressing against me like naked flames. The winter air sizzled around us and I held close. Ria moaned, finally pulling away for a moment to catch her breath.
“I fucking love this song,” she panted. Then she climbed onto my lap and kissed me again.
Beneath the soft fabric of my slacks, I was hard as iron. I wrapped arms around her slender waist and, after dreaming about it all night long, I dropped my hands to her nice, tight ass and gave it a nice, firm squeeze. Her eyes closed and her head rolled back in pleasure—presenting me with the feminine curve of her neck. I teasingly ran my tongue across the skin of her throat, and she muttered something in Spanish.
Slowly, one of Ria’s hands slipped down off my shoulder, trailed down my chest, and, tentatively, reached between my legs to press down against the shape of my cock. Our eyes met again in the darkness—our lips crashed back together—and her gentle rubbing through my slacks became fierce and firm.
I promptly reached up beneath her shirt, cupping my palms beneath the delicate lace bra that supported her firm, young breasts—
Then the damn ride ended. We blinked into the lights of the carnival, frustrated beyond belief.
********
RIA
********
“Aw man! Just when things were getting interesting!” I whined.
Shane laughed and kissed me one last time. We looked up to see our two friends waiting for us off to the side.
“I take it you guys had a good time,” Tracy grinned, nodding between Shane’s legs.
I still had my hand down there. Quickly, I hopped off of him and did my best to get my pulse rate back down to normal as Connor helped me back onto solid ground.
“That was fun,” Connor said. “I’ve never been on one of those things before.”
Shane embarrassedly straightened out the bulge in his slacks before he got to his feet. “Yeah, it’s fun, but it’s way too short. I wish they’d just let us keep riding the thing, it’s not like there’s anybody else waiting in line here.”
I looked over at the exhausted Mexican guy operating the ride—bored out of his mind—and an idea popped into my head.
“Hang on guys, I’ll be right back.”
I strolled over to him, thrusting out my chest and batting my eyelashes as best I could. This sort of thing was typically beneath me (and Tracy’s way better at it than I am, anyway) but my experience serving hot wings at Hooters hadn’t been for naught. By the time I quit, I’d gotten pretty good at convincing men to do what I wanted.
“Excuse me,” I said.
The guy didn’t even bother looking up from the magazine he was reading. “No English,” he answered reflexively.
I couldn’t help but laugh. If he’d taken the effort just to glance in my direction, he’d have seen dark hair, dark skin, dark eyes—I’m as Latin as they come.
I switched over to Spanish and politely asked if he wouldn’t mind letting my friends and I stay on the ride for a little longer next time. Like, maybe, thirty or forty minutes?
He looked me up and down, uncertain.
“She’ll flash you,” I said, pointing over to Tracy and her gigantic boobs.
“En serio?” he asked.
“Si.”
Triumphant, I walked back over to my friends and told them that he’d agreed to let the boats stay in the tunnel for the next half hour or so. It would be a memorable Christmas, indeed.
“Wow, you go girl!” Tracy exclaimed. “How did you manage to convince him?”
“I’ll tell you once the ride’s over.”
And I couldn’t wait to see the look on her face when I did.
As our swan-boat drifted back into the twinkling lights of the tunnel, I wasted no time maneuvering myself back onto Shane’s lap, anxious for more action.
“You know, you’re pretty awesome,” he said to me.
“You’re pretty awesome yourself, cutie.”
I leaned in to kiss him, but he held me back and looked at me with those stunning, one-in-a-million eyes of his.
“No, seriously. Christmas has been kind of a downer for me the past couple of years. This is a really nice change.”
“I’m glad,” I whispered.
Then his eyes turned playful, once again. “Good thing I asked your friend to go out with me. We might never have met.”
“Yeah, good thing,” I agreed. Then I grabbed him by the hair and shut him up with a kiss.
Shane was a REALLY good kisser. He wasn’t afraid to be the man, but he knew when to back off and tease me a little. I could get used to kissing this guy. He lightly nipped at my lower lip, and I felt a shock of arousal zap through my body and down between my legs.
I leaned back and unzipped my coat, enjoying the way Shane’s gaze dropped appreciatively to my breasts. My nipples were poking through my blouse, screaming for some attention—so he leaned forward and licked me through the fabric.
Oh yeah… I could get used to that, too.
Still holding onto his hair, I pulled Shane’s head fiercely against my chest and rubbed my boobs back and forth across his face. He moaned loudly through the meat of my tit and then pushed me away, panting. Those beautiful eyes looked ravenously hungry.
“Take your fucking shirt off,” he ordered.
I was only too happy to obey, getting an extra kick out of the way his pelvis lurched beneath me the moment he saw my sexy new bra. I’d spent the better part of a day trying to find the perfect one in preparation for my date with Connor, and I was more than happy with my purchase. It was peach-colored and totally sheer, with loads of cleavage spilling out the top. The dark buds of my nipples were plainly visible through it, even in the low light of the tunnel.
Shane couldn’t keep his hands off me.
After a few minutes of being groped, I decided that my lover had WAY too many clothes on. I pulled his sweater and his shirt off of his body in one fell swoop, then started exploring his bare chest with my hands. He was in much better shape than I’d expected—a swimmer’s build, if I had to guess—and I gave myself a few minutes to enjoy caressing the lean, defined musculature of his abs while he fondled my tits.
The firmness of Shane’s erection dug into my crotch, and our hips slowly rocked together, dry-humping in the darkness. I felt Shane’s hands on my back, searching desperately for the clasp of my bra—which unfortunately for him was in the front. I spared him the trouble and just undid the thing myself, letting it snap off to either side as my unrestrained boobs bounced into his field of vision.
“Fuck yes,” he breathed, stuffing my tit in his mouth.
Jesus that felt good.
Just as had been promised, our boat came to a stop in the middle of the tunnel. The lights continued to twinkle romantically around us, but shutting down the motorized track had the unexpected side-effect of killing all the cheesy music, as well—
Meaning the only sounds in the tunnel were coming from the four of us.
Noisy kisses and ecstatic moans echoed off the walls. I recognized the sound of Connor’s desperate, shuddering breaths, and realized with a hint of jealousy that our friends in the next swan over were getting to the good stuff a bit faster than we were.
“Aw yeah, suck it!” Connor cried out.
He was so shamelessly loud, it was hilarious, but I couldn’t deny the fact that hearing the two of them go at it was getting me more aroused than ever. I pulled Shane’s eager lips off my erect nipple and playfully whispered, “Sounds like a good idea to me.”
My lover moaned as I kissed my way down his chest, outlining the definition in his abs with my tongue.
As I lowered my body between his legs, I felt my naked breasts glide along the shape of his erection. Shane reflexively bucked his hips up into my chest, so I decided to prolong the moment a bit more, slowly sliding the weight of my tits back and forth across his lap.
“Aah!” he moaned.
Shane couldn’t wait any longer. With shaking hands, he unbuckled his belt and unzipped his pants, liberating his impressive cock into the night air. I delicately closed my hand around the shaft, briefly testing its firmness, then
I planted a big, wet kiss at the base. He throbbed with desire as I trailed my mouth up his rigid length, pressing the flat of my tongue against him as I went. When I finally reached the top, I relaxed my lips—hungry for him—and slipped the warm, smooth head of his cock into my mouth.
“Oh god…” he sighed.
For fun, I twisted my head to the side, feeling the shape of his cock as it stretched out the inside of my cheek.
After a few more licks, I pulled my mouth off of him and sat back—teasing his slick erection back and forth across my cleavage. The exquisite, almost pained look on Shane’s face told me how close he was getting, and I couldn’t bear the thought of extending his agony any longer.
“You can come, if you want,” I whispered, flicking my tongue across his tip.
“Not—oh Jesus—Not yet.”
Then he lifted me up—away from his pulsing erection—and stood me up on the bench beside him. My pants dropped to my ankles a second later, leaving Shane face-to-face with the soaked, sheer lace panties I had bought to match my new bra.
He yanked them down with his teeth.
Thinking quickly, Shane bundled up his discarded sweater and set it on the top of our swan as a makeshift pillow for me. When I sat on it, my legs hung down on either side of his face. Shane gripped my naked ass and playfully licked his way up the firm muscle of my inner thigh.
I definitely liked where this was going.
From my elevated vantage point, I could actually see down into the swan-boat in front of us, where Tracy and Connor were already fucking each other. My eyes had adjusted enough to the darkness of the tunnel that I had a clear view of Connor’s broad, muscular back and the tops of Tracy’s pale, bouncing breasts. She rode him hard, smothering his face with her enormous bosom.
Damn, those two looked hot. The sight of their frantic love-making was one of the sexiest things I’d ever witnessed—
But I forgot all about them the second Shane’s talented tongue made contact with my criminally neglected pussy. The way he played with me—tugging at me with his lips, teasing and probing me with his tongue, perfectly satisfying my body’s every unspoken urge—he was an artist. My insides melted like butter.
I leaned back, bracing my hands on the back of the swan—and let out a yelp as the freezing fiberglass made contact with my palms. Shane immediately backed away, worried he had somehow hurt me.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
I laughed and explained, “Yeah, I just accidentally touched the boat. It’s really cold.”
“Maybe you should come back down here with me, where it’s warm.”
“Mmm, sounds good.”
I hopped off the back of the swan and happily straddled Shane’s lap once again—both of us completely naked, this time—luxuriating in the feel of his warm chest pressing against mine. We kissed again—hot and heavy—and I felt his hands slide down my back and over the firm globes of my ass. Apparently, he really liked my ass.
“Mmm…”
Shane moaned into my mouth as he squeezed, then he firmly pulled me forward, rubbing the rigid shaft of his penis against the soft fuzz of my pubic hair.
On shaky legs, I managed to raise myself up—lifting my body inch by inch—until I could feel the very tip of his cock pressing up into my cunt. I was so goddamn wet, it honestly took more effort to keep him from slipping in—but I wanted to prolong this moment for as long as I could…
“As long as I could” wound up being about four seconds. When I’d moved to position myself above him, I’d also inadvertently managed to shove my tits right back into Shane’s face. His mouth enveloped my puffy, sensitive nipples, and I gave in. The muscles in my legs turned to jelly as I dropped down on him, all at once—taking him to the hilt—filling myself with that beautiful cock.
The twinkling Christmas lights in the tunnel became a blur. I tried looking into my lover’s incredible eyes, but I was so light-headed with pleasure that everything was out of focus. The orgasmic screams of Tracy and Connor echoed all around us as Shane lifted me up the full length of his erection and then slammed me back down again.
“Oh Jesus…” my breath was weak. My words staggered and incoherent. Shane picked me up and slammed me down again. And again. Harder and harder, bouncing me on his lap.
God, this felt good. Finally, some satisfaction!
But wait, was that… music?
The voice of Bing Crosby crooned to life over the speakers. Beneath us, the ride started moving again.
“Aw, you gotta be kidding me!” Shane cried out. But I was not going to be denied.
“We still have time, we can finish,” I panted. I didn’t even care if it was true or not. I needed to come, and woe unto anyone who tried to stop me.
After a moment’s consideration, Shane just said, “Screw it,” and he went right back to fucking me. My whole world threatened to explode, and I braced my hands atop his shoulders, using my arms to help speed up our love-making as the swan-boat made its inexorable journey through the tunnel, towards the light at the end.
Moaning and groaning, we locked eyes and went into the home stretch. Shane’s body tensed beneath me, his hands powerfully gripping my ass. My naked breasts slapped against his chest with every blissful thrust. The ribbon of pleasure twisting in my body became absolutely unbearable—
Shane bit down on my earlobe and exploded inside of me, his cock spasming with every powerful spurt. I came loudly, screaming, not caring if everyone in the carnival heard me.
We finally fell limp against each other, kissing tenderly in the afterglow.
“Oh shit,” Shane whispered, and I spun to see that we were only seconds away from the tunnel’s exit. Seconds away from everyone getting a look at our sweaty, naked bodies. Shane and I fumbled frantically around our little swan-boat, grabbing for clothing—wrangling whatever we could manage.
I didn’t have time to get my blouse back on, so instead I just grabbed my leather jacket and pulled it around my bare chest to cover up.
When we emerged back into the open air, the carnival lights were blinding and the December air was freezing. By some miracle, Shane and I had gotten dressed—or at least we’d managed to cover up enough skin that we wouldn’t be arrested for indecent exposure.
Tracy and Connor climbed out of the boat ahead of us, their clothes and hair in hilarious disarray. They both seemed pretty pleased with themselves.
“Oh my god!” Tracy squealed, running over to hug me excitedly. “Did we really just do that? That was totally insane! We could totally hear the two of you!”
Shane lovingly wrapped his arms around me and said, “So, time to call it a night and head back home?”
“Actually,” I grinned, “first Tracy has to properly thank our wonderful ride operator for letting us stay in there so long.”