Fifteen minutes. My bedside clock counts down faster than I want it to. Was it too late to cancel? Probably. You want this, I tell myself. No, you need this. I pull up my black stocking tights. I clip my ruby red hair behind my head, and look in the mirror. My eye catches on the photo from last summer. Seth and I smile at the camera, my head trying to duck out, camera-shy. Strange to believe it was only a year ago. Was this too soon? My heart gave a lurch.

I lingered over the choice between my lacy black bra or my usual white one. Not that he'll be seeing it anyway... I chided myself before strapping on the white one. Careful now, don't get carried away. While my brain thought one thing, the rest of my body thought another, desperate to be touched after months of depravation.

Five minutes. Time for lipstick - pink, not red, and a touch of eyeshadow. I look a little like the girl in the photo, but not completely. She doesn't have the shadows behind her eyes. Her smile is genuine and alive, like the boy next to her was.

The doorbell rings, and a shiver of anticipation runs through my body. I count to thirty seconds before answering the door, keeping him waiting, putting up a front that I don't truly have.

I open the door swiftly, putting my smile in place. Neither of us speaks for a second, and I have some time to take Darren in - tallish, medium build, green eyes, floppy brown hair and a large smile. For a second I was disappointed - wasn't I supposed to be blown away, starry-eyed? He spoke first: "Hi. Nice to meet you."

It took me a few more seconds to answer; I probably looked like a dumbfounded idiot. "Oh, yeah, hi. Please come in!" I opened the door too quickly and hit myself in the foot. I tried not to grimace. Should I introduce myself? He already knows my name. Say something Nelly! "This is the living room..." Oh yeah, like he really wanted to know that.

"It's lovely." Darren says politely. His voice is low, and he pronounces words with a deliberate force. He goes to sit on the right of the sofa, and I flinch as that was where Seth always sat. He must notice as he says, "Is here okay?" and looks at me with some concern and confusion.

"Oh of course, sorry I'm a bit flustered, I just got off the phone." The lie slips off my tongue as easily as they always do. "Do you want something to drink?"

"I did bring a bottle of wine. And what you requested of course." I paused. What had I requested?! But then he brought a take out box from out of a plastic bag. Of course. Thai food had been what we bonded over online in our one conversation. The suggestion that he bring me food from his favorite restaurant was the official purpose of his visit. Right. Say something vaguely interesting or intelligent.

"Great. Now I can see how it most certainly does not come up to par with Rising Dragon," I said with a smile. He laughed. He had a easy quiet laugh which tingled through my body.

"Here's the wine," he said, handing it to me. "It's nothing special," he added, after I spent a few too many seconds staring at it, grateful for something to do.

"I'll go get some glasses." I ran out of the room quickly, grateful I was free. For fuck sake Nelly. Pull yourself together. How do you expect to lead a normal life if you mess up your first date in a year? I opened the glass cabinet and took several deep breaths. The silence of the kitchen dragged out the time, and I panicked I had been away too long. I grabbed two wine glasses, and practically ran back to the living room. "Here we go." As I grabbed the wine I realized we had nothing else formal to talk about and panic rose up in me. What would we talk about if he were Seth? I thought - but comparing him to Seth right now was not what I needed, and my hands began to shake. Suddenly Darren's hands were on mine, soft and warm.

"Hey." I looked up, embarrassed. "If this is too soon, we can hang out next week or something..."

"No, no... it's just that... I forgot the bottle opener." I mumbled, clutching onto the bottle like it was a life jacket. He gave me an odd look before grabbing the bottle out of my hands and raising it to his mouth. He licked his lips, and my body shifted in a way it hadn't in a long time. He inserted the bottle gently in his mouth, and bit off the top with big back teeth. "Woah... where did you learn to do that?"

"These wine bottles have weird tops. This wine is from my dad's factory actually." I rejoiced inside: a conversation topic!

"Your dad owns a factory? That's cool."

"Not really." He shrugged but smiled. "It does mean I get free wine though. I was forced to work there every summer as teenager though."

The conversation flowed as freely as the wine from there on - we discussed parents, jobs, university. It turned out he was 3 years older than my age of 21, the same age as Seth would have been. That was the only time I thought of Seth all evening though. The Thai food was delicious, probably better than my favourite, but I told him otherwise. I tried to not eat too much as I didn't want him to think I was fat. I was starving though, having not eaten all day, and I was still hungry as he suggested I packed it away in the fridge after we both hadn't eaten in a while. I quickly did as he suggested, while my stomach rumbled in protest.

"Don't worry, I brought desert as well," Darren said with a wink as I returned. My insides flipped at the meaning of the wink, but then he brought out a box of fresh doughnuts in chocolate sauce. Oh my, they smelt good. But then I imagined the sight of me covered in sticky sauce around my face.

"Thanks, I'm quite full though."

"Go on, have one."

I complied, taking one from the box. As I did, I noticed we had somehow grown closer on the sofa, we were an inch away from touching, and the space felt magnetized and electric. I bit into the soft dough in a deliberate slow manner which I suppose, admittedly, was meant to be a little seductive. I kept eye contact. "Good?" he asked.

"Excellent," I said. At that he closed the gap between us, his thigh touching mine. I began to feel very warm all over, especially between my legs. Stop behaving like a silly school girl Nelly. This is as far as this is going to go tonight. He scooped up some chocolate sauce on his finger and lifted it to his lips, and then sucked slowly. I couldn't keep my eyes off him. He put the same finger back into the pot, wet with saliva. He lifted another chocolate filled finger up... and presented it to me.

"Your turn," he said in a low voice.

"What?!" I mumbled, confused at this sudden turn.

"Lick it," he said, firmly, in a voice that suggested he would not take no for an answer. It's okay Nelly, we're alright. Just play it cool, we don't have to do anything we don't want to. My inner voice soothed me in a panicked tone.

"Uh... okay..." I stuck out my tongue a little, tasting the chocolate on his finger. Suddenly he forcefully stuck it in my mouth.

"Suck it. Now."

I didn't know what to do, so I sucked as hard as I could. He pushed the coffee table away, swung his legs around, and straddled me.

I stopped sucking and glazed up as his face in shock and bewilderment. He pushed himself into me and I felt his full weight. He rubbed his groin into my stomach.

"I said, suck," he repeated, lifting my face up with his hand roughly, while shoving my finger further down my throat, choking me. I panicked, and bit down hard on my finger. He gasped. "Bitch!" he shouted, and grasped my hair hard. At this point, my inner voice had been stunned into silence. I had absolutely no idea what was happening or if I wanted it.

"You'll fucking pay for that." My body took over at the word fucking, my crotch moving up towards his body and rubbing a little. He laughed. "Oh no, not quite yet little chick. There's lots to do before then." My body relaxed and my brain continued to freeze.

Darren jumped off me, and dragged my legs sideways so I was completely lying on the sofa. He repositioned himself on my body, and started to rub himself on me. "Don't you daring fucking move this time," he said. "You. Get. Nothing. Hear me?" I nodded, quickly.

He moved slowly on top of me, still fully clothed grunting. He stuck two fingers in the chocolate sauce and shoved them into my mouth. I knew what to do. But this time, I added tiny licks and motion to my sucking. "That's right," he said with a heavy breath.

He removed his fingers and dragged them down my neck, leaving a chocolate trail. He then bent down and gave my neck tiny little nips, licks and kisses along the trail. I gasped, my hands grabbing his head and pushing him into me. He came up to kiss me for the first time, and his hand slipped under my shirt up to my bra. Should have worn the black... my brain nudged me, suddenly away of what was happening. Thinking back to a few hours earlier reminded me of who I was - not this girl. I tried to push him off, roughly. He responded by grabbing both hands and pinning me to the sofa. Was this still a game to him? I had to choose, right there to either stop it or commit to it. I still felt that I was in control when it came down to it.

Images of Seth flashed before me, but they were weak and faint. My thoughts were predominantly of the many lonely nights that followed his death. My body decided for me, as I let out a loud moan when Darren unclasped my bra and pinched my nipples. Darren smiled wicked at me, as he stripped me of my shirt and bra completely, throwing them on the floor. He scooped up some more chocolate, and I leaned in to take his fingers willingly. But he smoothed my left nipple with it, and proceeded to take most of my smallish breast in his mouth. He licked and sucked wildly, increasing his dry thrusting. My hips wiggled and thrashed down, desperate for some small gratification. He stopped immediately. I said, "No, bitch."

"Sorry..." I said with a horrified whisper, terrified he would stop sucking my nipples. But instead he turned to the other one, treating it equally if not more forcefully. His hand moved to caress my other breast as I moved my fingers up and down my back. He moved back suddenly, and in about 5 further seconds he had shredded my tights and removed my small blue skirt. All that remained between us was my knickers. I noticed he was still fully clothed however. As if he thought the same thought, he removed his shirt swiftly. He then leaned in for a kissing, sucking at my tongue seductively. He dragged his lips to my breasts, stomach and hips in turn. My brain noticed that at least I had put on semi-decent underwear for the occasion. He dragged my knickers down with his teeth. My clit oozed out moisture as it begged to be touched.

He drew his eyes away from it to meet mine. "Don't fucking come, or it'll be the last thing you do." He threatened with a growl. I was speechless. He gave my pussy the tiniest lick, and I moaned loudest than I ever had. At this he delve in wildly, eating me out harder and faster than I thought possible. An incredible force pooled around my lower stomach, an orgasm a year in the making. I kept as still as possible, delaying with all my might. Every cell in me wanted release. He stopped licking, and looked up. "Good girl."

He stood up and slowly removed his jeans, and then his underwear. He was huge, the biggest I had ever had. His soft hair was neatly trimmed, and his balls swelled around his penis, demanding use. He passed the bowl of chocolate sauce to me, and somehow I knew what to do. I licked as much sauce as I could, and transferred it to his penis, licking it arousingly as I did so. Once as much sauce as possible was on it - it was literally dripping off with his precum, he moved down on top of me once again. Then paused.

"Please..." I whispered desperately. He smiled wickedly again.

"The second you come girl, you are dead. You come when I say so." With that, he was inside of me. I gasped in relief, almost crying. I thought this would never come. He filled me deep, so completely, I had never felt this full. "I bet he never made you feel like this." He said, slowly and deliberately. I gasped. I rolled him off the sofa, so I was on top of him on the floor.

"Don't you fucking dare talk about him like that." I snarled. I took complete control, shoving his arms down to the carpet, and rode his cock hard, giving my pussy exactly what it needed. I was seconds away from orgasm and I couldn't wait. But then in a flash I was on the floor in a heap and he was standing above me. He wrenched me up by my hair and arm, and pushed me against the wall.

"That's not how I play, you little cunt." He spat, actually spat in my face before throwing me to the floor again. My elbow stung with pain and my head banged against the leg of the table. My hairclip containing my long red locks had snapped, and my hair spilled down my naked body. My brain once again wondered how the fuck we had gotten here. He stood above me now. His hard and erect cock, still gleaming with chocolate, hung above my face as he lowered it to my mouth. Before I could resist it was inside, consuming me. I breathed through my nose as he lowered himself in and out of me. I sucked. "What do I taste like, little girl?" he snarled. I wriggled and he slapped my face, gently. "Answer me."

"Sweet..." I said. "Like chocolate."

"Correct." He removed himself from my mouth, before inserting himself back into my aching pussy. I was so, so deliciously wet, from chocolate and spit as well as my pussy. He drove into me again and again until I thought I was going to go insane.

"I'm ready now," he said, and I gasped in relief as he gave one final push before releasing his juices inside of me. I ran my nails down his back hard as I screamed, having the biggest release of my life. Waves of ecstasy rolled out of my cunt into my body as he pulled out. We lay there, panting, together on the floor for a full minute before he spoke. "It's been a pleasure." He used the same charming voice he had used before. "I look forward to the next time."

And with that, he grabbed his clothes and left the room. I heard the front door close a few minutes later, as I continued to lie in a pool of sweat, chocolate and cum.