"Thank you for taking the time to come out and speak with us. We'll give you a call if you are selected."
I couldn't help but laugh a little. That was the worst interview I had ever gone on. There was literally zero chance I was getting this job. Why they were pretending they might be calling me was a joke.
How bad was it, you ask? It was so bad that they didn't even bother introducing me to the woman I was trying to be the personal assistant for. I spent the entire time talking to an HR person, who I guess did not love my bluntness and lack of enthusiasm.
It's total bullshit, if you ask me. Anyone who is enthusiastic about being someone's personal assistant is either dumb as a rock or just fucking lying. A personal assistant is a glorified slave. Nothing more.
Whatever. This gig wasn't really my thing anyway. The interview had been set up by my roommate, but I came in with no real expectations. I only agreed because I was starting to get desperate. I had been unemployed for almost a year thanks to fucking COVID, and my art history degree certainly wasn't impressing employers. I needed a job, even if I didn't like it. If only for the paycheck.
I grabbed my portfolio, and left the conference room we had been in. I was eager to get back in my car and try to avoid the rush hour traffic that was certainly already beginning to pile up. But first, I had to make a pit stop at the front desk to have my parking validated.
"How'd the interview go?" The secretary asked while taking my parking stub. "Will I be seeing more of you?"
She was cute, and honestly, the few minutes of talking with her in the lobby before the interview was the only thing that had been enjoyable about the afternoon. Her name was Sally and she was very much my type. Long, auburn hair, big blue eyes, long eyelashes, and I couldn't be sure, but the tiny amount of cleavage that she showed made it seem like there was a much bigger rack under that blouse of hers than she was letting on. I thought about getting her number, but decided against it. I don't get into the city much, and dating someone here would be a hassle and a half.
"Probably not," I said, shaking my head. "Jim didn't seem to think my knowledge of baroque era painters was very applicable to the job."
She giggled.
"Here you go! Can I do anything else for you?" She said, handing my stub back to me.
"Actually, yeah. Can you tell me where the men's room is?" I didn't want to spend the next hour plus in my car needing to piss, so I figured I'd go before getting back in my car.
"Our men's room is currently out of service right now, but you can use the women's room. It's right next door on the right."
A bit weird, but OK.
I walked out of the office and walked into a women's bathroom for the first time in my life. It was like walking into a different dimension — one where bathrooms weren't wretched places. It was trippy. There were fancy lotions and soaps. There was potpourri by the sink. There was a sofa area for some reason — it was luxurious. If this is what every women's room looks like, I felt like guys are seriously getting shafted.
I looked around for a urinal, but felt silly when I realized that of course there wouldn't be anything like that here. So I went into a stall and began to do my business.
I was about halfway done when someone else walked in and opened the stall next to me. I knew it was a woman based on the sound of her shoes, and I instantly felt bad. Even if I had been given permission, it still felt wrong to be in there.
"Sorry I'm in the women's room. I was told it was OK, but I'll be out of here in a second."
"Don't be silly. Take your time," the mysterious voice replied.
Take my time? Who takes their time in a bathroom?
I finished up, flushed the toilet, and I turned around to leave the stall. But as I did, I saw something that DEFINITELY didn't fit with the classy ambiance of this lavatory. There was a hole in the wall of the divider. I was stunned. It was an actual glory hole.
I must have stared at it for a full minute trying to determine if it was an optical illusion. Because surely it wasn't actually there, right? I was so convinced it was a detailed drawing that I had to reach out and touch it to confirm it was in fact there. This was a first for me. Sure, I had heard about them, but I had never been somewhere sketchy enough to have one. I CERTAINLY wouldn't have thought a fancy bathroom in an office building would have one.
"I see you have finally noticed this bathroom's featured attraction," said the mysterious stranger again.
Was she tempting me?
I weighed my options. If I tried to "use it" and she wasn't expecting it, I was fucked. She would shriek in horror, and I'd have to haul ass out of there to avoid getting arrested. Then again, if she WAS interested, well then I was fucked. And she DID point it out to me.
Fuck it. It's not like I'll ever be back here again.
I took my cock back out and began stroking it to get it hard. I didn't know what the protocol for this kind of thing was, but I felt like it was rude to present a limp noodle.
"I don't have all day," she said impatiently. "Or are you gonna be a chicken shit?"
I guess that answers my question.
I was still only about 75% there, but I guessed that would have to do. I certainly didn't want her to leave. So at that, I slowly slid my cock through the hole.
"My, my! Aren't I a lucky girl!"
"Still think I'm a chicken shit?"
"Absolutely not. I am impressed you managed to get all of this through the hole." She began stroking me with both hands.
I can't say that I was surprised by the woman's reaction. After all, she was far from the first to have made a comment regarding my size. At about seven inches (with decent girth), I knew I was pretty big. Still, hearing that I have a big cock never gets old.
"So what's your name?" I asked.
"That's not how this works. No names."
"So, what? You are just some cock-hungry slut that can't make it through the work day without getting her fix?"
I couldn't believe those words came out of my mouth. Sure, I had talked dirty before, but nothing like that. Nothing degrading. I guess I got caught up in how trashy this all was. I mean, this woman was going to suck my dick through a hole in the wall without knowing my name or what I look like. That's a little slutty, right?
"I'm whatever you and this monster want me to be, baby."
This is the greatest bathroom ever.
She started slowly, kissing along my shaft with what felt like very plump lips. Then she began licking it a little, using her thumb to rub around the head of my dick, causing it to twitch like crazy. It all felt amazing, but I wanted more.
"Are you gonna suck my cock, or am I gonna have to find someone else to do it?"
"Patience, young man. A beautiful specimen like this deserves to be worshipped."
OK, that was definitely a new one. Worshipped?
"Mmmm, big AND tasty," she purred, after licking the slit on my mushroom. I guessed I already had some precum starting to come out.
"There is a lot more where that came from."
"There had better be." And with that, she finally took as much of me into her mouth as she could. It was so sudden and felt so good that it made my knees weak and I almost fell down.