Hey there, how’s it going?

Cool.

Yeah, I’m good, too.

How was your weekend? Get up to anything fun?

I mostly just chilled. Watched some movies and stuff. Sometimes it’s good to just do nothing, you know?

Right. After we work so hard all week, we definitely deserve to relax.

I know! It’s really hard to relax when you know the work is always waiting. I’ve got so much to catch up on today. I bet you do, too, eh?

Oh, here, you dropped your ID card. Do you want me to grab that… oh… um… No, I see you’ve got it.

I’m not being awkward. I’m just…

It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it. What do you say? Should we get to it?

Oh, you need to use the restroom first?

Sure. No problem.

No, no, I’m not in a hurry.

Okay, I’ll see you at your desk.

***

Finally! What took you so long?

Ha! No, I guess I don’t really want to hear the details.

Ugh! No, stop! Stop! Gross! I don’t want to know.

Why do you always try to make me uncomfortable? Do you enjoy being weird? Do you get some kind of kick out of it or something?

You just want to see how I’ll react, eh?

It’s funny? No, it’s annoying. Can we get to work now?

Anyway, I just processed the first order. It’s fairly typical stuff, you just need to run the numbers here… and here. Yeah. Okay, and we’ll send this one out.

A nice easy one to start the day. I wish they were all this easy.

Right. “That’s what she said.” Haha. How many times are you going to tell that dumb joke?

Never mind.

Huh? Oh, uh sure… what do you need help with?

Delineating the LPA workflow modules? I mean, I’m not like a tech expert, or anything…

Yeah, maybe you should give IT a call.

No, you’re right. They do take forever to fix anything… if they even fix it at all.

Uh-huh. They always give the same advice, too. “Did you turn it off and on?” It’s like their solution for everything.

I hate calling them too, but… I mean… that’s kinda what they’re there for.

Sure, I know, I helped you before, but…

Okay, fine. I guess I can have a look at it.

No, that’s alright I can see it from here… Scroll down… down… okay, yeah, maybe you loaded the wrong taxonomy. Read me the options…. Try that one. Right. Hit okay…. Shit. That didn’t seem to do anything. Okay, okay, go back and read the options again…

No, I’m standing close enough.

Yes, I know you don’t bite, smart-ass.

Well, it’s just… your shirt.

I mean, I can see right down the front of it. I didn’t want to give you the wrong idea or anything.

Well, it’s just kind of… revealing, you know?

Oh, you do know. Well, I noticed when you picked up your ID card earlier, I could kinda see… well, everything.

No, no, it doesn’t look bad.

No, you look great. I mean, it’s just…

Well, I just want to be respectful is all.

No, I guess you’re right. You wouldn’t have chosen to wear that top if you weren’t expecting at least a little attention. Well then, mission accomplished, I’d say.

No, I’m not staring! I mean, we were just talking about… You dressed like that…

No, I’m not getting flustered!

So what if I’m blushing?

But you said you expected people to look!

Well, make up your mind! What do you want?

Okay, alright. Fine. I’ll help you with the LPA workflow. Move over. Damn!

See, look here, your settings are all messed up. You need a check in this box, and then you’ve got to apply these parameters…

Oh shit! Sorry, I didn’t mean to touch your boob. It was an accident.

Yeah, I know. I mean, I hardly brushed it. Still, I’m sorry. It’s just you leaned over at the wrong time…  

No, you’re right.

Let’s just keep things professional.

Ha! Come on! I can be professional!

More professional than you.

Uh-huh.

Why are you sitting so close, anyway?

I mean, yeah. But can’t you see just as well from like a couple of inches to your left?

I guess I just like to have a bit of personal space, you know?

I don’t know.  Sometimes I just feel a bit crowded sharing an office.

Since when? I don’t know, since forever.

No, it’s not anything personal against you. Shit. I’m sorry. I just mean, I kind of liked having my own space. You know, before the company started cutting costs and making us share.

Yeah, it’s been a while, and I’m adjusting.

Well, you’re right about that. I could be stuck with far worse office mates.

Yeah, like Glenn and Judy. They hate each other. I can’t imagine what it would be like to share an office with either of them.

Listen, I think we should just get back to work. 

Yeah, it should be working now. If not, then, you probably need to call IT, like I said.

What? No, I’m not being weird… you’re being weird.

Just because I don’t want to spend all my time trying to fix your computer? It’s not my job! We have people for that, so why don’t you stop bugging me!

Shit, okay, yeah, I’m sorry. That was mean. I shouldn’t have raised my voice. You don’t deserve it. I’m just on edge.

Yeah, there is something bothering me. I guess it’s pretty obvious.

It’s not really about you… or it is, kinda. But there’s nothing either of us can do anything about it, so there’s no point in getting into it, so let’s just drop it, okay?

You’re right. I’m not great about being subtle about how I feel. My poker face is non-existent.

No, I don’t want to talk about it. Just go back to work.

Yeah, I know I’d probably feel better to get it off my chest… Listen, can we not talk about chests right now?

It’s just I don’t think I can talk about it… to you.

No, it’s not that. I trust you. I know you’d never go gossiping about it. That’s not what I’m worried about.

Trust me, it’s for your own protection. And mine, too.

That’s got you even more curious? Fuck.

Forget it. Let’s just get back to work.

No, I’m not going to tell you.

I’m not!

No!

You’re not going to let go of this are you?

Seriously?

No, I can’t.

Because it’s really fucking embarrassing, okay?

Shit. I shouldn’t have told you it’s embarrassing. Now you’re definitely not going to let it go.

Yeah, of course it’s personal. I wouldn’t be embarrassed if it wasn’t.

Well, I mean, yeah, it does kinda involve you, too… but not really… sort of… I don’t know. Forget it. Can we just start the day over? Pretend like the last half hour or so never happened?... So how was your weekend? Relaxing? Great! Let’s work!

No, I don’t know how you’re supposed to focus on work now.

I’m sorry I brought it up.

Stop looking at me like that.

Stop!

Alright! Alright alright alright alright alright! Fine! You win! I’ll tell you… Just remember you asked for this. If it makes things awkward between us, it’s on you.

Yeah, you say ‘no judgment’ now, but you haven’t heard what it is, yet. 

Okay, so this is way too much information, but… I have a certain morning routine…

Yeah, yeah, shower, shave, coffee… but before all that, when I first wake up… the first thing I usually do is… ahem… clean out my pipes…

You know, my pipes… my pipe… I drain it… I… Fuck! This is so fucking embarrassing. I can’t believe you’re making me explain this to you.

I jerk off, okay? I masturbate.

I told you I didn’t want to talk about it, but you pushed and pushed. Now I’m embarrassed and you’re embarrassed.

You’re not embarrassed?

Yeah, you’re right. It is normal. Guys masturbate.

Sure, girls too…

Yeah, I’m sure you do it, too… but that’s not helping me right now.

Listen, are you sure you want to know? I kinda feel like I’ve already said too much.

Oh yeah, there’s more. But seriously, it’s not exactly appropriate for the workplace. I don’t want to get in trouble.

Yeah, I know no one else is listening.

Well, no, I don’t want things to stay awkward between us, either. But I don’t think telling you is going to make them any less awkward. 

I’m not sure what would be worse – telling you or not telling you.

Not telling you would be worse? How would you even know, if you don’t know what it is?

No, I’m not just keeping it from you to see you squirm.

Well, yeah, it is kinda funny, seeing how curious you are. I bet it’s just eating away at you.

You can’t stand a mystery unless you can solve it, eh?

Hmm. Maybe I won’t tell you. Maybe I’ll just let you torture yourself trying to figure it out.

Anyway, don’t we have a department meeting coming up soon? We probably don’t really have time to get into it.  We should probably get ready for that instead.

It got moved to this afternoon, eh? Damn it. 

Yeah, I was trying to change the subject. But you’re like a pitbull with a rag doll. No way you’re going to drop it.

Okay, fine. Where was I?

Right… uh… masturbation… That really hooked your attention, eh?

Fine, I’ll stop stalling, but… let me shut the door, first.

That’s better… And… um… do you think maybe you could turn around and face your computer? It’s just really hard to talk to you about this while you’re looking at me.

No, your boobs are fine. It’s you.

Just you… your whole thing, you know?

Alright, but just turn around, okay?...

Thank you…

So… uh… like I was saying, I’ve got this morning routine.

Right, jerking off, thanks for getting straight to the point.

Really? You’re going to make a “That’s what she said” joke now? I’m trying to be serious, here.

Well, you’re the one who asked. If it was up to me, we wouldn’t be talking about it at all.

Anyway, it’s usually the first thing I do in the morning-

Yes, celebrating my morning glory. Why do you have to be so dramatic?

Well, it’s a routine. It kind of sets the tone for the day.

No, not a sexy tone… well, I guess maybe kinda sexy… but it’s more about feeling relaxed and like energized and clear-headed.

Yeah, like beginning the day with a positive mindset.

Uh-huh. Some people do affirmations or yoga or go jogging. For me, it’s masturbating.

Right, cleaning out the pipes. You’ve got it now. 

So, this morning… I guess there must have been a power outage last night, but my alarm didn’t go off, and I woke up a lot later than I meant to. I barely had time to grab a five-minute shower and get dressed before I had to leave for work. So, not only did I not get the chance to perform my daily routine –

Yes, cleaning out my pipe. I’m starting to regret ever putting it that way. Anyway, I didn’t have enough time for that. And also, I was in a total rush to get here on time.

Yeah, I guess, that’s two issues.

Uh huh, you’re right. I’m here now, so really it just leaves the one issue unresolved.

Okay, could you please stop saying “Cleaning out your pipes?” It seems like you’re having way too much fun with it.  

Yeah, I know I said it first. I’m sorry I ever did.

Yeah, so that’s what’s bothering me. I didn’t get to masturbate this morning. Okay?

Sure, you can turn around now.

Uh huh, yep. That’s it.

What do you mean you think there’s more to the story?

You want to know what it has to do with you, and why I’m acting weird around you. Right… well… I’m just feeling kind of sensitive about things...

You know... horny.

Yeah, you know, and then I get here, and you’re dressed the way you’re dressed.

No, there’s nothing wrong with the way you’re dressed. I mean… it’s kind of how you always dress here. It’s just…

Yeah, it’s kind of a lot for me right now.

Sure, I guess you could take it as a compliment. You look good. But I mean… you always look good.

Come on, you know you do. You wouldn’t be wearing what you’re wearing now, if you didn’t have the body for it.

Ha, I bet you do have sexier outfits in your closet.

Right, for going out to the club and stuff.

No, you don’t have to show me the pics on your phone.

Okay, yeah, you’re right. That one is sexy.

Mhm. That one, too.

Well, it certainly shows… a lot.

Yeah, that one’s also nice, but this isn’t really helping me with my situation.

Right, my horniness. Thanks for putting it so bluntly.

No, I’m not saying I’m getting horny for you. Don’t put words in my mouth.

Well, yeah, I’m horny.   

And yeah, I’m looking at your pics. But it’s not like that.

I don’t really know what it’s like, but not that. We’re just co-workers, right?

Whoa! I was not supposed to see that!

What? No! I can see everything!

No, just put it away. Jesus! What’s the matter with you?

You forgot it was on there? How do you forget something like that?

Okay, fine. I know you didn’t intentionally mean to show me your nude.

You thought you’d deleted it? Well, obviously you didn’t.

Can you at least swipe to another picture?  

No, I’m not angry.

No, I don’t care about that, either.

Listen, what you do in your own time is your own business. It’s not for me to judge.

Why are you looking at me like that?

Oh shit! Don’t look at that!

I told you, didn’t I? This is what happens.

God this is so embarrassing.

Stop staring at it. And you can stop grinning like that, too! And for the millionth time, can you please put your pic away?

Thank you.

No, it’s not going down. I can’t get your picture out of my head now. Fuck. Thanks for that, by the way.

What am I supposed to do with this?

Umm… they say you’re supposed to think about baseball…

No, it’s not really working. 

Well, I don’t know anything about baseball.

Yeah, I guess I could go to the bathroom, and take care of my problem on my own. But it would be kinda weird because you’d know what I was doing in there.

It wouldn’t bother you? Well, it would bother me.

Yeah, you’re my co-worker. We really shouldn’t think of each other like that.

You’d do it if you were me?

Oh, you’ve done it before... Really?

No! No, no, no! I don’t want to hear about it.

I hate that you’re enjoying this, you know.

No, you’re making it worse with your boobs and your legs and your nude pics and telling me about how you masturbate at work.

No, I’m not angry… I’m frustrated.

God, this is so embarrassing. I can’t even look at you.

Yeah, I’m sure that I am turning red.

Yeah, I know. Stop laughing.

It’s not even ten in the morning and I feel like I could use a stiff drink.

You too, eh? Maybe we should hit up happy hour after work.

No, not like that! Shit, sorry. I didn’t mean to make it seem like I was asking you on a date. I just meant that I’m sure we’re both feeling awkward as hell and could use something to ease the tension.

Heh, yeah, jerking off in the bathroom would probably also let off some tension, but like I said… it would be weird.

Yeah, I’m too distracted to work, now.

You’re feeling a bit distracted too, now? Well, that’s kind of your own fault isn’t it?

I mean, if you’d just let it be, we wouldn’t be feeling this way. But you had to know.

You feel sorry for me? You don’t have to feel sorry. I probably feel bad enough for the both us right now.

Yeah, I wish you could make it better, too. But that’s not going to happen.

Because we work together.

Well, we shouldn’t be thinking about each other that way. At all. We’re professionals. We come to work, we do our jobs, make chit-chat, and go home to our separate lives, right?

Come on, I didn’t mean it like that. We can still be buds, right? Let’s just put it behind us and pretend it never happened, okay? It’ll go away eventually.

Yeah, maybe if we focus on working for a bit…

I know it’s hard.

Uh-huh. Another “That’s what she said” joke? Hard to focus, I meant.

Well, yeah, that’s still hard, too.

Right. If I say don’t think about sex, it’s impossible to think about anything else.

Well, no not sex, but you know…

Okay, fine, now I am thinking about it. But you put it in my head.

And now it’s in your head, too? Well, that serves you right.

Yeah, I’d love to get some relief, but… you know… we’re at work.

Look, there are windows where anyone could look in on us at any moment.

What? What’s not fair?

I’ve seen you, but you haven’t seen me?

Your imagination is running wild? Yeah, you’re driving me crazy, too.

Well, what do you expect? For me to just whip it out and start jerking off for you right here?

Uh-huh, you did mention that earlier. But I don’t know if I can really jerk off in the men’s room.

Well, there isn’t anything sexy about the men’s room, for a start.

What do you mean, you think you can help with that? If we got caught, we’d both lose our jobs.

Oh, I see. You want me to go in there alone. Then how would you be helping?

I should take my phone with me? And you’ll help me out? How?

No, I’m not being deliberately stupid. I really don’t know.

I’ll find out, eh? I guess I just have to trust you..

Alright, just give me a minute and I’ll text you when I’m there.

***

Come on, man. What the hell are you doing? This is so stupid. You’re going to get caught, and they’ll fire you, and you’ll be that guy who couldn’t keep it in his pants. Just forget about it. Splash a bit of water on your face, and go back to your office… where she’s waiting… and you know she won’t let this go… fuck… 

Hello? Anyone here?

Alright, cool. The coast is clear. Let me text her…

Yeah, I’m here now.

No, no one else is here. I’m alone.

Let me just go into one of the stalls in case someone walks in.

Right, now what?

So… this is really weird.

I’m undoing my zipper. I’m reaching into my underwear. My cock is out now.

No, not right now. I kind of lost it while I walked to the washroom.

You can help? What do you have in mind?

Oh! Your nude. Yeah, that will definitely do the trick.

Yes, it’s getting harder now.

A pic?

No, I know, you sent me yours but… I’ve never sent anyone a dick pic before.

I’m serious.  This is the first time.

Okay, fine. Hold on… Just let me stroke it a bit so, you know, it’s camera-ready.

Yeah, I’m looking at your picture now while I touch myself.

Alright, just a minute while I get a good angle…

Well, I don’t want you to get the wrong ideas about size or anything. Hang on, just a second… there.

Thanks. I’m glad you approve. 

Oh, I don’t know how many inches, but I haven’t had any complaints.

It’s turning you on?

It’s hot? Is that it?

Well, how hot is it?

You’re getting wet now.

No, I’m not too impressed with myself.

Okay, well, maybe just a little.

Yeah… I mean, I’ve got to admit, it’s kinda turning me on, too.

No, just thinking about you… you know… just sitting there in that skirt you’re wearing… your panties getting damp…

Yeah, it’s pretty sexy…

Oh shit! You took that just now in the office?

Yeah, your panties look very pretty. There’s not really much to them, though, is there? Do you always wear sexy lingerie like that to work?

It makes you feel confident, huh?

Okay, another pic… I see that the bra matches.

Yeah, very nice. 

Your bra, your boobs.  They’re both amazing.

Yeah, I guess I have been staring at them all morning. Nice to get a closer look without having to sneak it.

What? Are you kidding? I can’t believe you just got your tits out in our office. You’re terrible!

No, they look beautiful.

Well, right now, I’m thinking about how those nipples would feel between my lips, as I kissed and sucked on them.

Yeah, they’re very sexy.

Mhm, I’m still stroking it.

You wish it were your hand instead of mine? That would be amazing.

I’d love to feel your fingers wrapped around my shaft, going up over the head, and then sliding slowly down the shaft to my balls.

Yeah, it’s getting even bigger. You want another pic?

Okay… here you go.

Yeah, it’s really hard now. I didn’t think this would work, but I have to admit, I’m really fucking turned on right now.

You too, huh?

Wow! Yeah, I can see. 

Fuck, that looks so hot, the way you’ve moved your panties aside and spread your lips apart. You look so sweet and juicy.

Yeah, I can imagine how amazing you’d taste.

Are you picturing us in your mind?

…with my head between your thighs, and your fingers in my hair, as my tongue slips inside you and my nose brushes against your clit…

Mhm, I’m stroking a bit faster now.

What do you mean, you too?

Oh. You’re touching yourself right there in our office. You’re kind of a dirty girl, aren’t you?

You sent another pic… Fuck, that’s hot! Are you looking at my dick pic while you finger yourself?

You are, huh? You’re so naughty. Here’s another one for you.

I know. That’s how much you’ve got me turned on right now. I can barely stand it. You’re driving me crazy, you know.

I wish you could suck it, too. Tell me what you’d do.

Yeah?

Mmm, that’s good.

Oh yeah, I’d love that.

Do you really think you could take it all?

Well, I just know some other women who’ve had some trouble with it is all.

Not you, huh?

Yeah, I can picture you here, on your knees, looking up at me as you swallow my cock, and I fuck your throat. It would feel so fucking good. 

You can imagine my hands on your tits?

Through your blouse, grabbing them rough as I kissed you hard.

Uh, huh, I’d push you back onto your desk, and rip that blouse open.

You’ve got me so excited, I don’t know if I could control myself.

Yeah, I’d pinch and pull your nipples. You’d want to cry out, but you couldn’t because you don’t want to get caught.

Maybe I would put my hand over your mouth to keep you quiet.

But you’d be desperate for more, eh? In that case, could you imagine sitting on your desk, your legs spread for me. Can you imagine me pressing my body into yours? Leaning over you as my hard cock brushes against your beautiful wet pussy.

No, I wouldn’t enter you right away.  I’d tease you first, sliding along your slit and over your clit. I’d tease you until you couldn’t take it anymore.

Say please.

Tell me how much you need it. How much you want me to fill you up.

Yeah. Then I’d slip those soaking panties aside, and let you feel the tip as I began to push into you, slowly, slowly. Fuck, I can just imagine how you would feel wrapped all around this hard fucking cock.

Uh-huh.  Really hard now.

And I’d let you feel every millimeter of me as I gradually entered you. All the way. Until you could feel my balls resting against your ass.

Yeah, you need me inside you, eh? Can you imagine how amazing it would feel?

Holy shit, your fingers are dripping in that last pic. That’s so fucking sexy.

Yeah, I’m still stroking, too. Fast and hard.

I’m imagining thrusting in and out of that luscious pussy of yours. Oh my god, it’s so good.

Uh-huh. I could cum now, but this is too fucking good. I don’t want it to end.

Yeah…  oh yeah… oh that’s so fucking hot… I had no idea you were like this. Shit. 

And then imagine me lifting you up off your desk, spinning you around, and bending you over.

You’d feel me reach beneath your skirt and yank those panties right down to your ankles.

Yeah, I’d give your ass cheeks a good smack so that you could see my red handprint on them.

You’d like that, huh? Well, that’s what you get for being such a bad girl at the office.

Yeah, I’d love to feel you reach behind and grab my cock, guiding it back into your pussy.

I’d be so fucking desperate for you.

Imagine me behind you, inside you, fucking you so hard, so fast. Imagine my balls slapping against your ass. Imagine me, deep inside you filling you up in all the right ways, hitting all the right places with my throbbing hard cock.

You want me to pull your hair as I fuck you? I’d grab it in my fist, and yank your head back as I fucked you senseless.

Yeah?

Right, just like that.

Fuck, that’s hot!

You’re getting close, too, huh? Just thinking about me banging the shit out of you in our office where anyone could walk in at any moment and catch us at it.

No, I don’t care anymore either. You’re driving me crazy. I can’t help myself. Fuck.

And as I fucked you, I’d reach around with my fingers and rub your clit.

You’d go totally out of your mind if I did that?

I see. You’ve got your fingers on your clit now.

God that looks so hot and swollen.

Yes, I’m very close to cumming, too.

Fuck, I’m so close.

Oh fuck.

Oh Fuck!

Oh my god! You’re cumming, too.

Here it comes!

FUCK!

OH MY FUCKING GOD!

AH…

Fuck… shit… fuck… oh man…

Well, um… here, let me show you.

Yeah, I made a bit of a mess here.

Uh-huh. How about you?

Yeah, much better.

Yeah, I really needed that. You have no idea.

No, I can’t believe we just did that, either.  

What do you mean, it’s about time?

You’ve been thinking about something like this for a while?

Since we started sharing an office? Did you plan this?

No, I know you didn’t turn off the power at my apartment to make me wake up late and not have time to masturbate.

No, I mean the revealing outfits, or the way that you’re always dropping things, so that when you bend over, I get a good look at your ass, or down your blouse.

Too many times to count. Are you telling me that none of that was deliberate on your part?

Ha! I knew it!

Alright, I’ll be back to the office in a couple of minutes. And maybe now, we can finally get some work done.

Right. And maybe after work, we can develop a few more strategies for regaining focus and improving our workplace productivity.

Yeah, say, over drinks at happy hour?

Sounds good.