Weeks ago, I decided to go for a massage even though I still have this fear due to the ongoing pandemic. Although in my place, Cebu city, massage spas have already resumed operation.

I remember when Covid hit our country last year of March, I told myself, “Mike, this is a sign that you would stop lusting around with those massage therapists. This could also be the sign that you will finally evolve to become a better spiritual man.”

I thought I could hold on to my words but I didn’t last, as expected. I’m back lusting around. I just couldn’t suppress my sexual need for pleasure with a different woman.

And so I went back to this spa in Mabolo where I first had my lingam massage several years ago. It was like I was in full circle, restarting my carnal activities. I don’t know if restarting would mean boosting my sexual drive. I guess it just means, I’m being true to my basic human nature. Lustful…

When I got there, there was no one in the reception area. I know it wasn’t closed because there was a small billboard lighted sign saying, OPEN. I said in a moderated tone, “Hello! Anyone around?”

After a few seconds, a lady female cam  up saying, “Hello, sir! Sorry to keep you waiting!”

I replied, “That’s ok,” as I stared at her quickly. I whispered, “She’s not attractive, unlike the one before whom I was planning to date and fuck.”

I observed the place and I realized it was almost the same, the last time I had my massage with my favorite masseuse. She’s no longer there. She already got two kids from different men. I bet those are her customers. Hehehe!

I told the receptionist, “I’m impressed because your spa is one of the very few which survived in this pandemic.”

She replied, “You’re right, sir.”

Their new price is 1,000 PHP. I think it was 900 before. But I understand. They need to financially recover after closing their business for over 6 months due to government order. I even thought that businesses like massage parlors will never be allowed to open unless everyone is vaccinated. In a massage setting, covid transmission can more likely to happen due to close contact. But since there are safety protocols being strictly implemented, so I think it’s gonna be fine.

I was wearing my face mask, the receptionist too as well as the therapists whom I saw passing by the receiving area.

One masseuse passed by as I wished she would be the one to handle me. The rest I saw was unattractive, bloated and old.

And so my wish came true. Not only that, she surprisingly resembled my badly missed mistress before. What can I say but, “Thank God!”

She got long black straight hair but of course, I wasn’t satisfied with her appearance due to her face mask and face shield.

You know, I really have an issue with this damn face shield. If I’m not mistaken, our country is the only one which requires citizens to wear it on top of the face mask. The rest of the countries are content with face shields. In our malls, grocery stores, public transport, both face mask and that damn face shield are strictly required before entry.

Anyway, what matters, the masseuse I wished was in front of me. Of course, I should not take it personally of her wearing the protective gear. I’m sure, it’s their spa policy before handling a customer.

And so the sensual massage started first with my back, legs, thigs, butt, balls and finally my dick. “God, I miss this! I love this!”

She got soft hands which are erotic enough to make me sexually stimulated in gradual and progressive manner.

But all I was thinking during the massage was my mistress. How I missed our countless great fucking activities. She’s like no other. After our separation, I tried to look for another woman whom I can duplicate my unique sexual experience with her. After many different girls, my search failed. I guess I may not be able to find like her. There was no day that I didn’t think of her. Wherever she is right now, I hope she’s just fine.

In silence, I prayed, “My Lord, you know how I miss her so much! You also know, my Lord, how I still love her! In my heart, my love for her is always here. She still holds my heart. I pray, wherever she is right now, she’s just fine together with her hubby and kids. I pray that together with her family, she’s safe and protected at all times. I exactly don’t know if she still loves me in her heart and mind, my Lord. But it doesn’t matter now. What matters her family is intact. Her husband has completely forgiven her and continues to love her unconditionally.

With that thought, my Lord, I rest my case. But wait, my Lord! I think my case with her isn’t yet over because if it is, why do I still long for her? Why do I still wish that I would suddenly meet her at the mall or at the street? Why do I keep searching for her name in google and fb, hoping I’ll be able to find her profile and message her? Why can’t I stop emailing her when there has been no reply from her? Why every time I hear her name, our lovely and sexy wild memories come rushing to my mind? Why, my Lord, why? But most of all, why do I keep saying to myself that if I ever get the chance to meet her, I would grab her and let her get inside my car so we can go to the motel and fuck again! My God, I tell you, I wouldn’t hesitate of doing it again. For now, my Lord, grant my prayer that she’s just fine and safe together with her family. Amen.”

The lingam massage ended. It was weird because I felt empty. I thought I had a good, relaxing and sensual time. It’s just I miss her so much.