Things had gone from bad to worse. To say I had dug myself into a deep hole would be an understatement. Marge had turned my day to day life to a hell on earth. If I was not doing her work for her, I was doing her personal chores, anything from picking up her lunch to walking her dogs. She wasn't the only one that was hard to deal with. Kendall had kept accurate to her words; there wasn't a minute of the day where she wasn't looking over my shoulder. Everything I did, every motion I made, she was there.
On the home front, things had gotten better. The court decision had gone in my favor. Timothy wasn't allowed to take the kids out of the state permanently without my permission. I still had visitation rights, but not at my home and always with a chaperone.
"Cow-tits!" Marge said as she came around the corner to look at me.
"What," I said as she stared at me.
Marge threw a piece of paper onto the table. "My dry cleaning needs to be picked up at eight."
I couldn't bring myself to say what I wanted, but I nodded my head. Marge looked at me with a smile then walked away. Kendall gave me a look as I got up at the end of the day.
"What?" I asked as I headed for the time clock.
I was beginning not to care anymore; part of me wanted to say fuck it all! Fuck Marge and her video, fuck Kendall and this job. If it weren't for the need to get out of my shitty apartment and the horrible neighborhood, I would have told them all to go fuck themselves.
As I got in my car, the only thing that made me feel good about myself was that I got to see my son tomorrow. That thought put a smile on my face.
~ ~ ~ ~
Today was even better than any other visit. As I sat with Jacob, I looked over at the swings. Sarah and Sandra were swinging back and forth with smiles on their faces. I couldn't believe how close I was to them. Teresa had said they had come on their own. Now they were smiling and laughing with their Aunt behind them pushing on their swings.
"They have been asking about you, "Jacob said.
"Really?" I asked, turning my attention back to him. He had dyed his hair from the mouse brown to a deep black. I tried not to pay attention to it as I knew that would make him feel uncomfortable, but I kept taking glances at it.
"Yeah, Sarah misses your tea parties," Jacob smiled.
I smiled as I looked over at them. I used to take their plush toys and arrange them around the table at lunch. I made a different voice for all of them. From the first time I did it, both the girls loved it.
"Lela," Jacob said as I stole another glance at his hair.
"Sanders?" I asked with shock in my voice. Lela had been a girl he had been pursuing for a long time.
"Yeah," Jacob said as he smiled. "Her parents are divorced as well. Her father cheated on her mom."
"Now you two have something in common," I nodded. "Is it getting serious?"
"We are just friends," Jacob said as he looked at me.
My phone chirped; when I looked at it, I shook my head.
"It's her again, isn't it?" Jacob asked as he looked at me.
"Yeah," I shook my head. I had told Jacob about Marge. I left out what she had over me, but he was a smart kid, and I am sure he could figure it out.
"Let her," Jacob shrugged. "What's the worse that can happen?"
"The three of you looking at me worse than you do now," I said as I put the phone away.
"It wouldn't change a thing for me, and they will get over it," Jacob shrugged. "Everyone at school already calls you every name in the dictionary, and they even made some new ones."
"Sorry," I said as I held his hand. "I didn't mean for that to happen."
"It was my fault, I told one person, and it got out," Jacob smiled. "At least it got Lela to talk to me."
"Mom?" Sarah said from behind me.
I was shocked beyond belief as I saw the two of them standing behind me. "Can we get ice cream?" Sandra asked as she pointed to an ice cream truck.
"Absolutely," I said as I got up. I knew I shouldn't spoil them, but at this point, if they wanted a pony, I would find a way to get them one.
~ ~ ~ ~
"He is right you know," Lexis said. After my visit with my children, I decided to stop by the salon. Lexis and the others were closing up. I told them everything that had happened since I left the salon and started working at the office.
"My son?" I asked as I looked at her.
"Yes," another woman said as she looked at me. She was a new person. They wasted no time replacing me.
"You already have the title of a slut, whore, cheater, dumb white bitch," Natalie said as she swept the floor. "Might as well own up to it."
"Amen," Tonya smiled from her seat.
I looked at them all. "So, just walk in there, quit then walk out?"
"And do it like you own the place, put a little snap on it as you walk out," Natalie laughed.
We all laughed. I thought about it as I helped with the closing. "I couldn't," I shook my head. "I have bills to pay, rent, and ..."
"Shut the fuck up!" Lexis said as she snapped on me. "Bitch, we all have that, there isn't a motherfucker alive that doesn't owe something to someone. You will figure it out."
"Do as the other hoes and whores do," the new woman said. "Get money from what you like doing."
"That's what I am talking about, flip that shit," Tonya said. "You finally found something you are good at, so do it and get paid!"
"All these women do it on all these apps, so why can't you?" Lexis asked.
"Dumb-ass men, pay for these women's rent, wish lists and clothes, just because they flaunt their asses or show some cleavage," Natalie said as she looked at her phone. "Look, I just put in the hashtag BBW and look."
Natalie showed us her phone. There were tons of pictures of big women scantily dressed, showing their cleavage or their ass. What was surprising was the number of followers they had, not only that they had made themselves online wish lists. We took a look at the long list that included everything from clothes to adult toys and many other things. What made it worse was that their followers were buying it.
"As I said, stupid men, and then they have the nerve to call these women sluts and whores. While they buy the shit," Tonya laughed. "Probably on some no-name account so they can hide it from their friends and family."
I left the salon with many thoughts going through my head. They were right, of course. Since the incident at the hotel I had become sex-crazed; it was like a switch had been turned on that I couldn't turn off. Even now driving home all I could think about was the men that were hanging outside of my building and how I wanted to take all of them upstairs with me and let them do whatever they wanted until they had emptied their big fat balls.
I shook my head, clearing the visions of wild sex acts. I had to start thinking clearly. I had responsibilities. Even though Jacob had said that he was okay with his mother being the way she was, it didn't mean that everyone would be okay with it.
I picked up the phone as it rang. I cursed myself as I looked at the time. Hopefully, he had put it on vibrate.
"Anna?" Timothy's voice came over the phone in a whisper. I must have awakened him.
"Sorry," I said as I pulled into my parking spot. "I didn't realize it was so late."
"Who is it?" a woman's voice said, barely audible.
"Anna," Timothy replied.
"What does she want?" the voice said emphasizing the word she as she said it.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have..." I began to say.
"She is the mother of my children and despite how I feel or how you feel nothing will change that!" Timothy shouted back. His thick country accent came out dense when he was angry. "You said you could deal with that. If you have changed your mind you know where the door is located."
There was silence. "Anna?" Timothy said.
"I shouldn't have called. I didn't..." I began to say.
"Well, you did, so what is it?" Timothy said.
I cleared my throat. Years of dealing with Timothy's temper had taught me one thing. Never back down or sound like I was intimidated.
"I just wanted to let you know I am leaving the job tomorrow, and as a result, a video might be released," I said as I stood my ground.
"For fuck's sake, Anna, do you ever stop?" Timothy said.
"I just wanted to give you a heads-up, that's all," I replied.
"Fine, is that it?" Timothy asked.
"For now, yes it is," I said.
"Goodnight," Timothy said as he hung up.
I felt better about the decision as I walked past the guys; the thought of taking them upstairs increased as they looked at me.
"What you say, we have a repeat of what you did for the interview?" Chris said as he looked at me, going up the stairs.
I turned to look at him. "Now Chris," I smiled as I stared down at him. "We both know I could do that in the time it takes for me to get to my door."
"Oh shit," Leon laughed.
"Leon," I said as I turned my attention to him. "You should stop bragging to the women over the phone about what you are packing because they will be sorely disappointed once the pants drop."
The others chimed in with their laughter. "Now I could take all of you upstairs and let you have your way with me, but I taped a good show, and frankly I think it would be more entertaining than what any of you have to offer," I smiled at them as I walked towards my door. "Goodnight, gentlemen."
I caught the tail end of some snide remarks as I turned the key and entered, but they knew that I was only giving them back what they had given me.
~ ~ ~ ~
I knocked on Kendall's door the moment I walked into the building. "Enter," she said in her usual high-and-mighty voice. She looked up as I stepped inside. "If you have come to bargain for a day off, Ryan is the one to see."
"No, I haven't come for a day off," I said as I pushed my letter across the table.
Kendall laughed as she read it. "Good riddance," she shrugged as she crumpled it up and threw it into the trash. "Don't worry about the two weeks. You can leave right now."
"Good," I said as I turned and walked away.
"I knew you couldn't hack it from the day you walked in here," Kendall said.
I had a witty comeback along with other things that I could have said, but I knew that was what she wanted: an argument.
"Have a good life," I said as I exited the office.
I made a beeline for Marge's desk. The moment she saw me, her mouth opened up.
"Post it," I said, beating her to the punch.
"What?" Marge said as she looked at me.
I turned around as I headed for the exit. "I just quit, so you can do whatever you want with the video."
I heard footsteps running towards me. "You can't!" Marge said.
"I can't what?" I said, turning towards her.
"Mitchell made me delete the video," Marge said.
I laughed. Of course he did; it would bring him down as well.
"Bye, Marge," I laughed as I exited the building. I knew she wouldn't last the week without me doing her work for her. Kendall hated her more than she hated me.
The day went by slowly. I had gone back to doing my rideshare. In between breaks, I looked up many of the online models. Many were just on the social website flaunting what they had innocently just for likes and followers. Others were online to make money and try to make it into the modeling or adult business.
When I got off work, I went home and looked up more so-called models. One of them sparked my interests; she was a lot like me. She was the same body shape as well as the same age. Her photo app was filled with images of her showing lots of her cleavage. All of her pictures had watermarks with her name. Also, her biography pointed to a website; when I visited, it was a pay site.
The model had over seven hundred followers. I noticed that the site had different tiers of payment each with their price. It was easy to look her up on other social sites. Many complained that the price for her tiers was too high for what she was offering. I also found images of her that were on the pay site. The most provocative was her sucking on her dildo; another had it between her tits. None of her pictures showed her being topless, just hand bras and pasties over her nipples.
I looked back at her pay site. Just for the first tier was $100 a month, the second was $150, and the last was $250.
"These idiots are paying this much and not getting any nudity?" I said, shaking my head. Even if all seven hundred members were paying at the lowest tier, she was making more in a month than some people made in a year.
It wasn't hard to find more of the same. Of course, there were other sites and cam sites as well as amateur porn. All of which paid their models online. I had hit the jackpot. All I had to do was start a page and get a few apps installed. I made a profile on three of the most prominently used apps. I had gone with aMManda; it was what my mother wanted to name me, and it was easy to put my attributes in my name. I knew the question would pop up about how big my chest was, and I could quickly point out that it was in my name.
When it came to taking a picture, I hesitated. I couldn't take it, not like this, not like the person I used to be. I wasn't that person anymore. I loved being a mom, I loved being a good wife, but that wasn't me anymore. That woman had gone the moment I slept with another man.
A simple trip to the store and a few hours later I looked into the mirror. Gone were the blonde hair and blue eyes. I was going to dye my hair a deep black, but Jacob had already taken that color; now my hair was a bright auburn with blonde streaks. The color was perfect, it had taken some time, and the bathroom looked like a color bomb had gone off, but I liked it. I put in the colored contact lenses that made my eyes a bright but natural looking green.