"The Devil made me do it." Have you ever heard anyone say that? You're probably thinking whoever said that is just using that as an excuse to get out of trouble. You could be right, but on the other hand... it could be I really did make them do it. That's right, I'm the one and only Devil. Pleased to meet you, by the way. I would shake your hand, but, you know, the Corona virus thing. Being the Prince Of Darkness doesn't mean I have to have bad manners. Good manners or not, I've been responsible for some pretty not so nice things.

For instance; the toilet paper incident of 2020. Yup, that was me. The male customer bought the last remaining package of toilet paper and I made him only share half of it with the only other customer in the store. Pure evil that was. The other customer did pay for half of it, though. Which is only fair, if you think about it. The point is, he could have offered the whole package, but didn't, because of me. So, why did I do it? Because that's what I do. I'm the Devil, gosh darn it!  Apologies for the harsh language. When you're the Devil, sometimes you have to say some not so nice words, although I'm not saying that I don't feel bad about saying them.

I've also been responsible for bad behaviors in history. For instance; George Washington and the cherry tree incident. Yup, the story is true. I made the future president of America chop down that tree. That was pretty extreme stuff, so I did make him confess to it afterwards. What? You thought I was going to make him lie about it too? I may be extreme, but I'm not that extreme. Someone else could have been blamed for it. Did you ever think about that? The point is; George didn't have to chop down that cherry tree. Heck!(apologies again) He probably didn't even want to. That's the kind of power I have.

As vile and despicable as these deeds were, I have to say, I even surprised myself with my latest work. I was on vacation away from... (No, I'm not going to say it. I already said two not so nice words in one day, which is my limit. Let's just say it's a very hot place.) and spent time traveling across the country. I happened upon a pleasant, small town with a lot of open spaces between homes. There was one house that caught my eye. Not so much the house, but the garden of beautful flowers and trees that surrounded it. The lady who lived there obviously had a green thumb. I admired the garden so much, I spent several days in that town, just so I could walk by every morning to have a look. 

It was on one of these mornings when I realized I had fallen behind on my monthly quota of evil deeds. With the homes spaced so far apart and no one in sight, I began to panic. That's when I heard a door open and saw the owner come out of her house. I tried to think of an evil deed I could make her do, but before I could, she got in her car and drove off. Now what was I going to do? As luck would have it, I saw a young woman walking towards me along the road. When she reached the house, she stopped and admired the garden just as I had. This gave me time to think of an evil deed, but what? 

Something to do with the garden, perhaps? Before you ask; no, I wasn't going to make her pick some flowers. Did you really think I was going to make her do that? Do you even know how much work that lady had to put in just to grow that garden? What do you think I am? A monster? Forgive me for going off. It's just that, for some reason, people think of the worst possible things to happen once the Devil is mentioned in any conversation. I know, I have a reputation of being a bad guy, but stiill. Anyway, no hard feelings... I hope.

So, going back to the story; I was trying to come up with an idea, when the young woman began to look around, as if she were trying to make sure no one was around. Was I already putting an idea in her head without even knowing it myself? She started walking slowly to the side of the house, all the while being aware of her surroundings. She peeked into the back yard, and seeing no one around, made her way past the various flowers, plants and trees to the very back of the yard, and behind one particularly large tree. What was I putting her up too? It was then, that she slipped out of her shoes, and my evil plan was revealed.

She began dancing in her bare feet across the thick clovers that were growing next to the tree. Obviously, my plan was for her to crush the clovers, making sure it was, for the most part, something that wouldn't be seen, unless the owner happened to be in the very back of her property, with enough sun light shining, to see that someone had done so. Sometimes I can be so cruel.

She moved with such grace across the clovers. I could have watched her all day and into the night. But then, she stopped, and after looking around the tree, began to unbutton her blouse. She let it slip off her shoulders and onto the ground. She then unbuttoned and unzipped her shorts and let them fall to her ankles before stepping out of them. Did I have something else planned? Apparently, crushing the clovers with her feet wasn't enough for me. Now I wanted her to use the rest of her body as well. She was doing a good job of it too, rolling from her back to her front, all over the the thick clovers, before coming to a stop on her stomach. She just laid there, motionless for a few seconds, before bringing both legs up on either side of her, in what can best be described as a frog position.

Then, slowly at first, her hips started moving up and down. I took up a position behind her and could see that she was really crushing the clovers now. She was doing too good of a job now. Crushing the clovers was one thing, but as she started to pump her hips harder, I began to wonder if the clovers were ever going to be able to grow back. I commanded her to stop, but if anything, she started moving even faster and harder. "Stop!" I commanded.

I put everything I had into controlling her thoughts. I was losing the battle, but then, a glimmer of hope. Her movements started to slow, her body trembling, as she fought to continue thrusting. Then, one final thrust, before coming to a body shaking halt. I had won, but I admit, for a second there, I thought I had lost my powers. Yeah, right. Like the Devil is going to ever lose his powers. And that's when I noticed her hips starting to move again. Round two?

I didn't think it was possible for her to move her hips faster and harder than she did the first time, and yet, here she was doing just that. This time I wasn't winning the battle. Those poor clovers were being pulverized. I called upon all the powers of all the demons. Nothing was working. My mind was racing. What could I do? What could I do? I really had lost my powers. That's when I heard a car pulling into the driveway. 

The young woman did too and stopped instantly, grabbed her clothes and hid behind the tree. It was the home owner. She had returned. The young woman waited for the owner to get into her house, dressed quickly, and snuck out of the back yard. As soon as she was able to make it to the road, she ran away. I watched her until she was too far away to see. What just happened? Was I too confident in my powers? Why couldn't I get her to stop? If the owner hadn't returned... That's when it hit me. The owner returned because I commanded her to do so. The funny thing is; I don't even remember doing it. It must have been a subliminal thing.

I know what you're thinking. Maybe I only think I had something to do with this, but really never had any powers to begin with. Yeah, right. Do you really believe it was your idea to read this story? Or that it was you laughing just now? Yup, that was me. I never could master that evil laughter thing.