Let me start by saying that I don’t know what I was more addicted to, the drugs or getting them. I often wonder how someone like me could end up in the situation that I found myself in, but as with all addicts, at the end of the day it doesn’t matter. At 35 years old I am very good looking. My ex-husband got me fake tits years ago and they are the perfect size for my frame. After the divorce I lost 20 pounds, cut my hair very short and dyed it blonde. I have been told on many occasions that I am a "knock out". I will not say my looks didn’t help, but having a PhD in Biology, I was able to get a job making more money than most people, and I actually enjoyed the work. I was working on a drug to cure a certain type of cancer, not only was the job relatively easy, the hours were nice and I actually enjoyed what I was doing.

I don’t remember why I popped that first pill, probably out of curiosity, but once it set in I had never felt that way before. My body was so relaxed, as if I didn’t have a care in the world. But my mind was as focused as it had ever been. My logical side’s first thought was how I didn’t know about this drug, I was a doctor after all. The other side of me knew this was the greatest feeling in the world. The next morning I woke up and didn’t have any side effects of taking the pill, all I knew was that I felt so good last night that I wanted to do it again. Over the next couple of weeks I purposely hung out with the same guy that had originally given me the pill and each time he was more than willing to supply me with more, free of cost, I knew my looks had something to do with it.

I won’t bore you with how I ended up finding a dealer that could supply me with the pills, I will just say that parked in front of a plain, nondescript house, in the middle of the suburbs to buy drugs for the first time in my life, was the most nervous I had ever been. I had never bought drugs in my life, not as a teenager, not in college, not even a bag of weed, and now here I was walking up to the front door of a drug dealer’s house and my palms were sweating. Before I knocked on the door I panicked, and realized I was still in my work clothes, slacks and a dress shirt, definitely not what your normal drug buying person would be dressed in. But it was too late now to turn back. I had already talked to the guy, and he was expecting me, so I took a deep breath and knocked on the door. I waited five seconds and in my mind had decided he wasn’t home and was about to turn around and head back to the car, when I heard the door being unlocked, and in that split second realized this was actually going to happen.

The door opened, and while I had never meant a drug dealer before, this guy seemed to be the perfect description of what a TV character would be based on. He was white, in his late twenties, dressed in a pair of old jeans with a t-shirt on. His hair was disheveled, but I think he actually wanted it to look the way it did. As I looked over him, he did the same to me. I could tell he was a little surprised to see someone who looked like me at his door. His stare paused just long enough at my chest to cause him to smile, but when he took the rest of me in, the business clothes, the short blonde hair that was neatly done and my glasses, I could see why he would hesitate to invite someone who looked like me in; I wasn’t his normal type of customer.

He did invite me in, and as I walked past him I could feel his eyes linger on my ass as I walked by. The living room looked like any other living room you would find in this subdivision, sofa, chair, big screen tv, nothing that screamed "drug dealer", at least not openly. I heard the door close behind me, and for an instant I felt a feeling shoot through my body. It wasn’t fear or anxiety, all I know was that I had never felt it before.

“So, you are Sara.”

“Um, yea, I mean yes I am. And you must be Aaron?”

“That I am, please have a seat, can I get you a drink?”

“No thanks, I just want to make the deal and be on my way.”

As soon as I said that, I knew I must look and sound like an idiot. He let out a little chuckle, knowing that I was very uncomfortable in this situation. He then sat down on the sofa and gestured that I sit in the chair opposite from him. I glanced around the room quickly, not sure what I was looking for, maybe his low life thugs to pop out or something, but then I sat down, not exactly knowing what to expect next.

“So Sara, your friend vouched for you, which is a good thing. I usually don’t sell to people that I don’t know, I’m sure you can understand that.”

“Um, yes of course.”

“Good. So you said you are some sort of doctor when we talked on the phone, I bet you have patients lining up around the hospital to see you.”

I was shocked that he actually was trying to compliment me. Then I realized that it wasn’t so much a compliment as he was trying to hit on me.

“I’m not a MD, I’m a PhD. I do research, mostly cancer research.”

I had no idea why I wanted to sound smart to this guy. He was a drug dealer, why did I need to tell him about my life, I just wanted the drugs and then I could leave.

“Look, I don’t mean to be rude but could we just do the deal and be done?”

Aaron laughed again, and I realized he was laughing at my statement, "do the deal", I sounded like a teenage girl buying her first bag of weed, which add a couple of years and change the weed to pills, and that was exactly what I was.

“Ok, ok. I can see you mean business. I assume you brought the money?”

We had agreed on a price and the amount of pills when we spoke on the phone so this wasn’t going to be a problem. I reached into my purse and pulled out 250 dollars, he smiled when he saw what I had. At that moment I had the same feeling as when I heard him shut the door, and once again I had no idea what it was. In my head I knew he could just take the money and I couldn’t do anything about it, and he could tell me to leave, or worse. But he reached into his pocket and pulled out a medicine bottle with pills in it. He slowly handed it to me as I handed the cash to him.

“Two hundred fifty dollars for twenty-five pills, that was the deal.”

“Yes. Thanks.”

I put the pills in my purse and stood up, not wanting to be in his house for any longer that I needed to be. He smiled and actually walked me to the door and as I walked out he told me.

“You have my number, let me know when you need a refill.”

I fought the urge to run to my car and once I was in it, quickly locked the doors and drove away. During the fifteen minute drive back to my place I replayed every detail of the deal, thinking how many different things could have gone wrong. By the time I got home I felt dirty for just buying the pills, but that didn’t stop me from taking one and hopping in the shower. When I got out of the shower I poured myself a glass of wine and sat down and enjoyed the feeling as the pill was kicking in. I spend the next three hours on my couch, relaxed and feeling as good as every other time I had taken the pill. As I lay in bed that night I thought back once again to being at Aaron’s house, buying the drugs and how it all went down without a problem.

As I thought back on it I felt my pussy begin to moisten and I didn’t know why. In my mind I pictured every detail of Aaron and his house that I could remember. He wasn’t ugly but in no way was he drop dead gorgeous, I wouldn’t have given him a second look in a bar. I remembered his sofa and the chair I sat in. I remembered the strange feeling I had when he shut the door and then again when we sat down. The whole time I’m replaying the event in my head I was playing with my pussy. My fingers were toying with my clit, my nipples got hard, I felt my orgasm building up.

In my head I now pictured Aaron kissing me, his hands on my body, him grabbing my tits. I could see him take out his cock and me kneel down and take it in my mouth. My fingers were now deep inside my wet folds as I picture him sliding into me, I felt his cock deep inside me. I was close to cumming and then I imagined him turning me around and putting me on my knees, then him fucking me from behind. Him slapping my ass, pulling my hair, just fucking me like I was his. And then I had the most intense orgasm I could ever remember. I took my fingers out of my cunt and wiped them on the sheets, they were covered in my juices like never before. My body was still shaking from my orgasm and I didn’t know why. Somehow I managed to fall asleep, but with the same images in my head.

The next morning my first thought was of last night and what I had thought about while masturbating and it frighten me, why would I imagine that and why would it turn me on so much? I made my way to work and thankfully the thoughts never entered my head again. That night I made a decision not to take a pill, I didn’t want to become addicted to them, and I thought that maybe the pill was what caused me to imagine fucking Aaron. Unfortunately, as I lay in bed, the same thoughts crept into my mind, and once again I had the need to get myself off thinking about Aaron and the drug deal from yesterday.

For the next few weeks the thoughts came and went. Some nights I fingered myself while thinking of Aaron, other nights I just fell asleep without any problems. Some nights I took a pill and some nights I didn’t. Taking the pills made me feel relaxed as always, but they did not seem to have an effect on whether I relived that first time buying the pills. I took my last pill before I went out on a Saturday night, and while I fought the thoughts, I knew I would have to go see Aaron again, sooner rather than later. The feeling of being on the pills was too good not to continue, even if I needed to see him again.

On Sunday night I called Aaron and told him I would be by the next night to buy some more pills. He was more than happy to hear that I wanted to "re-up" as he put it, and he made a point of saying how much he was looking forward to seeing me again. Later that night as I lay in bed, I thought back to the way he said he was looking forward to seeing me. It didn’t sound creepy or dangerous, I didn’t know how to describe it, other than I thought about it my pussy got soaking wet. It took me thirty minutes and two orgasms thinking about him before I could fall asleep.

I don’t know if I did it on purpose or it was for some other reason, but when I got dressed for work I wore a tight skirt and top, one that showed off my ass and tits. I don’t think I realized what I was wearing until I pulled up in front of Aaron’s house later that night. As I walked to his door I kept asking myself, why did I wear this shirt? I was much more at ease this time, as I knocked on his door, and he smiled as he opened the door letting me in. We each sat in the same spot as last time, me in the chair, him across from me on the sofa. We looked at each other, me for some reason hoping he would ask me a non-drug related question and him, I can only assume, wondering why I wasn’t saying anything. He was the first to break the brief silence.

“Ok Sara, I assume you want to same amount as last time?”

“Please, that would be great.”

I could hear myself and I sounded sweet, not the down to business person I was last time. I worried that he picked up on this, but all he did was smile and reach into his pocket to get the pills. As I was reaching into my purse to get the cash, he very casually stated, “You know, if the price is too high I’m sure we can come to some sorda agreement.”

It didn’t take a doctor to figure out what he meant, and the sweetness in my voice disappeared instantly.

“I don’t think so. I’ll just pay the same price as last time.”

He could tell that I was offended by his suggestion and he just smirked, making me stand up, almost in a threatening manner. I handed him the cash, he handed me the pills, and then I walked out, not waiting for him to walk me to the door. I got in my car and drove off without looking back, what an asshole. I was a fucking PhD, trying to cure cancer, and he thought I couldn’t afford 250 dollars, fuck him.

That night I popped a pill, took a shower and relaxed on the sofa, finally calmed down a little from Aaron’s proposition. As I flipped through the channels, I thought back to Aaron, but this time it was different. He knew I was a doctor so he knew I could afford the pills, why would he make a statement like that then? And even if I couldn’t afford the pills I would never degrade myself like that. But then I thought, what would he want me to do? Maybe a hand job or a blow job? Would he want me to fuck him? The next thing I knew my panties were soaking wet. I hated myself for thinking about it, but I hated myself more because thinking about it was getting me wet.

I started to play with myself while thinking about the things Aaron would want me to do for the drugs. He would probably want to see my tits. Then he would want to feel them. He would probably ask me to suck his cock. Maybe he would want to fuck me. He would tell me to lift my skirt, he would take my panties off and fuck me right there on the sofa. I would ride him, the whole time he is sucking my nipples and grabbing my ass. He would turn me around and fuck me from behind, slapping my ass. He would want to fuck my ass, his hard cock in my tight back door… and then I came; I came and came until my body was physically spent. I stayed on the sofa, not able to move, because I just had one of the most intense orgasms of my life.

When I finally came out of the fog I removed my fingers from my panties, and they were covered in my juices. For some reason I brought them to my mouth and licked them, tasting myself for the first time since I was a teenager and was more curious than anything else. I don’t know why, but I licked all of my juices from my fingers, the whole time imagining Aaron there watching me, telling me how dirty I was. These thoughts led to me getting myself off again, and then again.

I woke up the next morning still on the sofa. The private events of the previous night came back to me instantly. I was disgusted with myself for what I had done, and what I had thought about. I showered and went to work, determined to not think about Aaron or what I had done, for the rest of the day. I was able to accomplish this, at least until later that night. As I cleaned the kitchen, my mind drifted to Aaron and to thoughts of what he would want me to do instead of paying for the drugs. As I mindlessly cleaned, I pictured myself doing all kinds of nasty things for Aaron. At some point I was so horny that I stood in the middle of my kitchen and fingered my cunt until I came. I went to bed that night thinking something was wrong with me.

Over the next 2 weeks there were some nights where I could fall asleep without thinking of Aaron, but there were more nights where I would imagine all the dirty things he would have me do before he would give me the pills. It seemed the closer I got to running out of pills, which meant having to see Aaron again, the more dirty or nasty my imagination would get, and this scared me even more. When I woke up the morning after taking my last pill, I stared at my phone for six hours before having the nerve to dial his number. He acted like nothing was different, like he didn’t proposition me last time I was at his place, like this was a normal drug deal phone conversation.

We agreed to meet the next day at his place. I don’t know why I didn’t suggest somewhere else, more public, but I didn’t. As I fell asleep that night the same thoughts raced through my head.

The next morning I put on a tiny black thong and matching bra, covered by a skirt and shirt. I knew that there was absolutely no chance that I would ever let Aaron see them, but… At work all I did was count down the minutes till my meeting with Aaron. When the time came, I raced out of the office like I was late for a date. I found myself driving faster than I usually did as I made my way to his place. When I reached his house, I could feel my pulse racing and my pussy getting wet. Then it hit me, I turned him down last time, chances are he won’t even bring the subject up again. This actually calmed me down, as I walked into his home.

This time Aaron didn’t walk to the sofa, he just shut the door, walked to the counter, and picked up the bottle of pills.

“Twenty-five pills for two hundred fifty dollars.”

I was a little taken back by how business like he was this time. No small talk, no compliments, no nothing. I guess I shouldn’t have expected anything else; last time I did pretty much storm out on him. As I reached in my purse for the cash, I had a thought. It was the same thought that had helped me have so many orgasms the last few weeks. I don’t know why I said it, but I did.

“Last time you said there might be a way to get the pills at a discount?”

Aaron took a second to look up at me. I can only assume it was because he was so shocked I would even mention his previous proposition. But when he looked at me he didn’t show shock or surprise, he had a smile on his face. His smile showed understanding, not that I couldn’t afford the pills, but that this was something else, something more than money.

“Yes, there is always ways for someone like you to get a discount.”

“How?”

“Well, I would knock off something if I could see those big tits of yours. And then maybe a little more if you showed me your ass.”

My pussy was soaking wet just from hearing his offer. It surprised me that he wasn’t asking for more, but just wanting to see my tits and ass had my panties wet. I looked at him, knowing that if I took him up on his offer that at some point it would be more than just looking. Whether that was going to be today or next time, I knew it wouldn’t stop at just looking. I then realized he hadn’t told me how much of a discount I would get for showing him what he wanted to see. But just as quickly I realized I didn’t care what the discount was, and at that moment I knew I was going to go down this road; I didn’t care where it took me.

I looked down at the floor, trying to gain what little strength I could to go through with this. I grabbed the bottom of my shirt and started to lift it. First my flat stomach, and then inch by inch, I raised it higher until my black bra was showing. With one hand I held my shirt up and with the other I reached behind my back and unhooked my bra. I then raised that up showing Aaron my perfect fake tits. He stood there, not staring, more enjoying what he was seeing. I don’t know how long I had my shirt up for, but Aaron nodded at me and made a gesture to have me spin around to show him my ass.

I let my shirt fall back down and turned around so I was facing away from him. I reached back to start to lift my skirt, I wanted to look over my shoulder to see his reaction, but I couldn’t find that much strength. As I lifted my skirt I could feel his eyes on me, and it turned me on. As I lifted my skirt the rest of the way, Aaron was greeted to the sight of my tiny black thong that was now soaking wet. I slowly bent over just a bit, letting him take in the sight of my ass, wearing the thong I put on this morning for him. For some reason I reached between my legs with my free hand and ran a finger over the silk material, starting at my ass and running down my slit, all the while gently pushing the thin material against my cunt. When I was done I lowered my skirt, re-hooked my bra, fixed my shirt, and then turned around to face him. He had a small smile on his face, and I waited for him to ask me to do something else but it never came.

“Very nice Sara. Your tits are perfect and I love your ass, it looks great in that thong. I think I can knock off twenty-five dollars for the pills, how does that sound?”

Only twenty-five dollars for seeing my tits and ass? I didn’t need to think about it, it didn’t matter, the money wasn’t the issue.

“Sounds fair.”

I reached into my purse and handed him 225 dollars and he handed me twenty-five pills. I turned and walked out, neither of us saying another word. I was in my car and driving back to my place for no more than 3 minutes before I could no longer take it. I pulled off into a parking lot that was empty and plunged two fingers into my pussy. I didn’t care if anyone drove up, they could watch for all I cared. I sat in my car with my eyes shut tight and fingered myself for two minutes before I came. My fingers were covered in my juices and my seat was soaked, but I didn’t care. I wiped my fingers on my shirt, easily able to smell my aroma, as I drove out of the parking lot back to my house. The rest of the ride was mindless, no thoughts, no regrets, no what about next time; I was a mindless person for the next 15 minutes.

When I got home it hit me as to what I had just done. I felt dirty and filthy. As I ran the water for a bath I convinced myself that showing someone my tits and ass wasn’t all that bad. I had send boyfriends pictures of both, and pictures of more, so this shouldn’t have bothered me that much. As I sat in the bath tub I knew why it bothered me, and it was because of the reason I did it. I did it to feel something, to feel dirty, to feel like a slut, and I liked it. I used the shower head to get me off two more times before I got out of the bath. That night I used my vibrator before falling asleep. When I woke up I was still soaking wet and needed to get off before going to work. As I drove to work a thought popped into my head… What was going to happen the next time I went to see Aaron? What would he want me to do the next time? What was I willing to do the next time?

The next couple of weeks I had to fight the urge every night to remember the details from my last visit to Aaron’s. Some nights I won that fight and fell asleep with no lingering thoughts. Other nights I lost the fight, but losing always ended with me having an explosive orgasm somewhere in my apartment. I also found myself taking more pills than usual. The high they gave me was great, but deep down I knew that the more pills I took, the sooner I would need more, and the sooner I would need to call Aaron. Somehow I managed to make it the same three weeks before needing a refill. The call to Aaron was brief, the next day, the normal time and the normal place. Nothing was said about my last visit, he didn’t bring up the "discount", and I didn’t ask about it.

Once again I found myself deciding on what panties I should wear under my dress for my meeting with Aaron later that evening. Should I wear the same black thong as last time, he said he liked it. Should I wear another thong? Maybe a g-string? Would he like my ass more in a pair of boy shorts? I finally shook my head in disgust, what was wrong with me? I ended up choosing a pair of blue cotton bikinis, they were nothing sexy, just a normal pair of panties a normal girl would wear. At work my mind was only one place, needless to say I didn’t get much accomplished.

As I drove to Aaron’s house, the same thoughts as my last visit entered my head. What would he want? What would I do? I tried telling myself I didn’t need the discount, but I knew it wasn’t about the money so that didn’t help. As I pulled up in front of his house, I could feel my pussy start to get wet and with each step I took towards his front door it got wetter and wetter. By the time I knocked on the door my panties were soaked through and I thought Aaron would be able to smell my cunt the minute he opened the door.

Aaron opened the door and invited me in. He asked how I was doing, a change from last time's cold business like manner. We actually made small talk for two minutes before he reached for the bottle of my normal twenty-five pills. I thought he was going to ask I if wanted another discount, but he didn’t, he just handed me the bottle. For a split second I felt disappointed, like he was over me already, but as I took the bottle and reached in my purse for the cash Aaron asked me, “Can you cover the full two hundred fifty dollars?”

I immediately knew what he meant. I also knew that he was giving me the choice of whether or not I want to pay full price or "work something out". My hand was in my purse, actually holding the full 250 dollars and in the split second I made up my mind.

“I only have 225 dollars, I forgot to go to the ATM.”

We both knew this was a lie. We both knew I had the money. We both also knew that I wanted the discount and it was only a question as to what I would have to do to get it.

“I see. Well I did give you a discount last time, I think I could do it again for the same terms… give or take.”

The same terms… give or take? What did that mean? What more did he want? I knew there was only one way to find out, and as much as I hated myself for it, I wanted to find out.

“Okay.”

Aaron stood there, not moving, wanting me to make the next move. His posture, his look, there was no question as to who was in control. I dropped my purse and reached behind my back to unzip my dress. As I let it fall from my shoulders and exposed my bra, I could feel my heart start to race. As I slid the dress down the rest of my body, I suddenly regretted not choosing a sexier pair of panties. As my dress hit the floor, I stepped backwards and unhooked my bra, letting it fall on top of my dress. Aaron stood there, staring me up and down. He then took a step toward me, causing me to step backwards. He took another step forward, and I another back, that’s when I felt the wall behind me. There was nowhere for me to go, I knew it and he knew it too.

His right hand slowly moved towards my chest, if I was going to stop him it had to be now. As his hand got closer and closer, a part of me wanted to stop him, but another part of me, a darker part, wanted him to continue. His hand softly caressed my right tit, completely filling his palm. His fingers danced over my nipples sending a small shiver through my body. He did the same to my left tit, the whole time glancing from my face to my chest. I then felt his hand move off my tit and slowly slide down my stomach, I knew where it would end up.

He took two fingers and ran them along the cotton material that was now soaking wet. He gently added pressure to my slit, as I did my best not to show that I was enjoying it. His fingers then slid to the top of my panties and found their way inside the waist band. He immediately knew that I shaved. The corners of his mouth moved just enough to show that he was pleased with what he found. His fingers found my pussy, and he slowly worked two of them inside of me. My juices made it easy for him to slide his fingers in and out of me at his will. He increased his pace, now moving his fingers faster and faster. I was unable to hide my arousal and started to moan. His other hand reached up and pinched my nipple causing me to moan, "Yes," right in his ear.

My eyes stayed shut as Aaron finger fucked my cunt with two fingers while pinching my nipple. When I did open them briefly, I saw a smile on his face. It wasn’t a smile that showed he was happy that I was enjoying what was going on, more a smile that showed he was happy that he was just able to get me to this point. I didn’t care, I was close to cumming and only prayed he would let me.

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum, you’re going to make me cum!”

He didn’t say a word, but his fingers moved faster inside of me. He pinched my nipple just a little bit harder. I could feel the juices running down my legs, my panties were drenched and I still didn’t care. I was on the verge of my orgasm when I heard him say, “Cum now… you can cum now you little slut.”

That simple sentence, hearing him tell me I could cum, hearing him call me a "slut" sent me over the edge. My hands pressed back against the wall for support. My body shook as my orgasm rushed through every cell in my body. I don’t know if I said anything that he could understand, more moaning than anything. I felt him slowly remove his fingers from my cunt as I kept my eyes shut, basking in the post orgasmic bliss that I was feeling. When I did open my eyes, Aaron was standing right in front of me, his fingers, covered in my cum, were between our faces.

I didn’t understand what he wanted as he stood there silently, and then he moved his hand ever so slightly towards my face, and I understood. I could have stepped away or refused, but I didn’t. I leaned forward and wrapped my lips around his fingers and began to suck and lick my own juices from his fingers. I looked him directly in the eyes as I did this, not wanting him to think I was embarrassed by the lewd act, when in fact it turned me on. When I had licked every drop of my cum from his fingers I stepped back and waited to see what was next.

Aaron surprised me, he turned around, walked back to the counter and grabbed the bottle of pills. It was obvious that he didn’t want any more from me, at least not right now. For some reason I felt angry, disappointed, and used, all at the same time, but I was also getting horny again. Was I that fucked up in the head that him not wanting more from me was actually turning me on?

I reached down, picked up my bra, and quickly put it on. I stepped into my dress and covered myself as quickly as I could. Shame and remorse was my current feeling and I wanted to get out of his house as fast as I could. He handed me the pills and I handed him the 225 dollars, nothing else was said as I walked out.

As I drove away I wondered why Aaron didn’t want more from me? Why he didn’t want me to blow him or to fuck him? Did he not think I was attractive? All these thoughts ran through my head as I drove home. I spent the whole night reliving this last drug buy, although this time it wasn’t to help me get off, it was to try to figure out if I did something that made him not want me. I spend all night thinking and thinking and thinking, and I could not come up with anything. As I lay in bed about to drift off to sleep something came to me, and when I thought about it I had that familiar feeling between my legs.

Aaron was testing me. He was gradually increasing the sexual acts, I could only assume to see how far he could get me to go before I turned him down. I thought about how far I would go, and I did not have an answer. I thought about our next meeting, wondering what he would want from me. A hand job or blow job? What about the meeting after that, would he want to fuck me? What about five meetings from now? As I thought about the coming meetings I would have with him, I imagined all the things he would want me to do. In my head I did them all, no matter how dirty or degrading they were. And while thinking about all those things I came and came and came. I lost count of my self-induced orgasms that night and slept soundly through the night.
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Authors Note: Please feel free to leave a comment or email me your thoughts, I love hearing what people think.