It was well past midnight and I couldn't help but keep looking to skype and kik on my phone. Nope. Nothing. Not a single message from anyone. No one online that I'd be able to chat with. And then there's the "chat" that I was longing for. The kind to help relieve the tension that built in me all night.
But no. Nothing.
I switched to facebook for a bit and saw the list of people online in the messenger. One of the names that popped up was a girl I went to high school with, Judy. We shared the same homeroom because our last names started with the same letter. She usually ended up sitting next to me in most of our classes. A bubbly, friendly and outgoing girl who was always quick with a laugh.
Judy was a very hefty woman back in school and nothing changed since then. Still having glasses and her hair pulled back in a pony tail. The only difference was now I noticed she had a lip piercing. Well, that and the fact that a year before she posted a story on facebook about ways a man should eat a girl's pussy so she can truly enjoy a good oral session.
That post stuck in my mind for quite a while. I never looked at Judy as a sexual person before that moment but her putting it out there so easily really grabbed my attention. I admired her as well as saw her in a new light.
Without realizing it, my thumb tapped her name and the message window came up. Shrugging, I started to say hello and tease her a little about being up so late at night. Pushing SEND, I put my phone down not expecting her to bother writing back.
Moments later the messenger app showed I had a new message. Sure enough, there was Judy writing back, just as bubbly as ever. We went back and forth a bit, joking and catching up. Then I decided to broach the topic of that post she shared about oral sex.
After that the conversation seemed heated quite a lot, with us circling around the idea of intimacy and what we both would love to have right now if we could. I took a moment to admit that I didn't want to push the subject on her if she didn't feel comfortable. She only wrote back one word:
Push.
So we probed a bit deeper, with me admitting I was climbing the walls a bit that night to find release. She was flattered I'd turn to her in a moment like that but fully admitted that she wasn't home that night, instead she was spending the weekend at her brother's house a few states south and didn't feel comfortable doing things like this without being in her own home.
That led to me shrugging, admitting defeat and not pushing the issue any further. We said goodnight to each other and planned to talk again soon.
The next night I saw her on messenger again and sent a "hello" her way. Quick to respond yet again, we picked up where we left off, chatting and whatnot, though the subject of our talk from the night before easily made it's way into the conversation again.
"I'm flattered you thought of me to do this, but I know you're married and that's just hard for me to ignore," she messaged me.
"I understand. I'm not expecting or pushing anything on you. I did like how the conversation was going last night but if you aren't comfortable, then we can talk about other things."
"I actually liked talking about the "other" things. I just don't feel right talking to you about that considering your situation," she admitted.
"Yes, I am married. But no we don't have sex very often. I'm not looking for someone to cheat with or get involved in any way physically. My hope with this is to just find someone who wants to enjoy themselves with me. If you'd like that, I'd like it too. If not, that's not a problem as well. I won't push if you don't feel comfortable, Judy."
There was a moment or two of silence.
"So basically you're saying we'd be like two good friends helping each other?" she asked.
"That's the way I see it. I'm not asking you to come over and do anything with me. But if you don't mind me doing things and showing it to you on cam, that would be a very fun way to find release over just watching a video. Again, not trying to push, but the idea is very sexy to me."
She responded back with a word that now I've looked at in such a sexy way it's difficult not to be aroused...
"Push."
"So you'd let me video chat with you?" I asked. Thankfully my typing didn't sound like my voice would in that moment, probably as excited as a kid at Christmas.
"Well, normally I'd rather you just video so I can see you but if you really want to see me, I guess I can turn a light on."
"Yes, please. I want to see you too, otherwise the screen just shows me and my hand jerking it and that's just not a very fun sight for me."
"Fine, I'll turn the lights on then. Call when you're ready."
I hit the video chat button quickly and after a few quick rings there was Judy smiling at me on the other side of the chat. The overhead light in her room was on, her hair was pulled back in a ponytail just like the old days. Glasses on, smile constantly playing on her lips as she saw me and how I've become over the years: bald with glasses and a salt and pepper scruffy beard. A few extra pounds of my own, too.