Let me say these things now, as I
Throw these words down on this electronic canvas. 
Words that are written in internet ink, and
Words that have stayed in my head,
Stagnating and idle,
Clogging up my life, and my soul...
For far too long.

Words that I should have said when I was young,
But these words did not come easy then.
In my silent and unforgiving shyness 
I could not utter those words of love,
Or whisper the feelings of lust,
Of sexual abandon, want and need... 
Words that I have kept hidden deep inside, all these years.

Your sexual encouragement was lost on me,
Your teasing and flirting
Pushed me further down the path of insecurity.
How my immaturity must have seemed to one that was 
Outgoing, sexually adventurous, and fun.
You embraced all that was offered, and wanting...
That one person, that did not know, how to give.

Oh! How I have changed.
For better or for worse, I cannot say,
But I struggled with those emotions of yesteryear.
And for what reason are they still with me...
In my head, pounding at my consciousness,
Unrelenting in their bickering and mockery
Of who I was, and what you wanted me to be.

I should have been that romantic and passionate lover.
I should have caressed your silky full breasts,
As we lay on the pine cone covered floor,
Beneath those tall firs of blue and green.
I should have slipped my hand between your welcoming thighs,
And kissed your red lips with the intensity and passion of my lust...
Without hesitation, and without remorse.

We should have explored our wonderful,
Young, and virile bodies. 
Together we should have pushed our senses 
Beyond the point of no return, we should have...
Yes, we should have fucked and felt that wonderful 
Deluge of elation and euphoria, before...
Falling away to the fumbling inadequacy of youth.

Why do these thoughts linger up here, in my head.
They do so only for you, to see them, one day,
On this immortal page of verse.
In the no-mans land of this...digital universe,
A world that was never even invented when we lay there, still and untouching.
I was besotted as I lay beside my very first love...
And I wonder whether your internet, will one day, cross with mine.