Julia had big breasts. She had melons, bazongas, and just plain big big ones. And she was so tired of it all.
For today, she was the object of yet another fight between two guys over which one she supposedly "belonged" to. At this point, there were two black eyes, two bloody noses, and, lying on the ground, two teeth and a lot of blood.
Julia sighed. Then, for no particular reason, she unbuttoned her blouse and exposed her acreage, brassiere and all, to God and everybody.
"But I have big breasts," she said.
The two men looked at her, then at each other. They smiled, shook hands, and walked away.
Hmmm… thought Julia.
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Julia was walking down the street in her neighborhood. A young woman was looking up a tree and frowning.
"Mittens, come down," the woman said. Julia looked up, and, sure enough, there was a kitten trapped on a branch about ten meters off the ground. The kitten looked scared.
”But I have big breasts," Julia said sweetly, and opened her blouse to the kitten.
The kitten mewed happily and climbed down the tree. The young woman thanked Julia enthusiastically.
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Julia was at a professional football game. A dispute arose over one of the referees’ calls. Neither of the coaches would accept the outcome of the appeal. Things got ugly on the field, and fights were breaking out between the fans.
Julia lifted her football jersey. "But I have," she shouted, "big breasts!"
The stadium went silent. Everyone—spectators, teams, coaches, referees—turned and looked at her. The score magically turned back to 0-0, and the scoreboard announced that the game would not count. The team members exchanged recipes.
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Julia saw on television that the Middle East was on the brink of war.
She got on a plane and quickly flew to the negotiations. As she got to the negotiating table, peace talks had just fallen apart.
The room was in chaos. "It’s war!” Everyone yelled.
Julia ripped open her blouse and shouted, “But I have big breasts!"
The negotiators all paused and looked at her.
Then one of the negotiators said quietly, "Well, maybe not a war. Let’s just hold it to a few skirmishes and let it go at that." Everyone else smiled and agreed.