2021

Ben, an attending ER physician who had just come home after a sixteen-hour shift, crawled into bed next to his wife Sarah and kissed her. "Hey."

"Hey. Rough shift?"

Ben nodded. "The day before Christmas is always rough."

"Well…" Sarah placed his hands on her naked midriff and breasts. "Smooth enough for you?"

"Mmmm…just what the doctor ordered."

There was a loud thump downstairs.

Ben sat up. "What was that?"

"Go have a look?"

"Right." Ben pulled on sweatpants and a T-shirt. "Keep the bed warm."

"The quicker you are, the warmer it'll be."

Ben crept downstairs. "Hey! What are you doing here?"

"Oh, excuse me," Santa said, carrying a sack full of presents. "I'll just put these…uh, where's your tree?"

"O' fer cryin'…we don't have one. We're Jewish."

"But you have Christmas candles."

"That's a menorah. You know, Chanukah?"

"And the Christmas cookies on that plate?"

Ben put the lights on. "Those are latkes."

"Ben," Sarah said, coming down the stairs, "who are you talking to? Omigod…"

Santa doffed his cap and bowed. "Aren't you the Silvestris?"

Ben flopped down in a chair. "I don't believe this."

"They live across the street," Sarah replied. "We're the Silversteins."

"Oh, I am so sorry," Santa said, turning nearly as red as his suit. He reached into his sack and fished out a small gift box, which he handed to Ben. "Please accept this along with my sincerest apologies."

"Thank you," Ben said, standing up. He and Sarah wished Santa well, saw him out, and shut the door behind him.

"Hmm..." Ben said as he held up the box. "What do you think…"

"Oh, bad reindeer!" Ben and Sarah heard Santa shout from the front yard. "That was very naughty!"

Ben yanked open the door.

Several of the reindeer had shit in the yard.

"We, uh, hit some turbulence over Pittsburgh and it must've put their stomachs off. I'll have an elf come right away to clean this up. I'm really sorry." He climbed aboard the sleigh and shook the reins.

Ben and Sarah waved as the sleigh took off and flew out of sight.

"Happy Chanukah to all," Santa cried, "and to all a good night."

Ben and Sarah went back inside and opened Santa's gift.

"Edible Strawberry Massage Lotion?" Ben read.

"It's kosher," Sarah added, pointing to the small K on the label.

"Fancy a massage?"

"Doctor's orders?"

"Absolutely." Ben took Sarah's hand and led her upstairs.

2022

Ben sat in the deserted, darkened staff lounge watching the storm outside. Snow was coming down in sheets. The police had closed all roads to all non-essential traffic. Going home to Sarah didn't qualify.

"Happy Chanukah Ben."

"Bah humbug."

"Exam Two." Dr. Marisol Hernandez handed Ben a file.

"I'm off-duty, Marisol."

"I know, but he asked for you."

Ben looked at the file and rolled his eyes. "K. Kringle. Sore elbow? Why do I get all the nuts?"

Ben went to the Emergency Room. "Hitting the egg nog a bit early Mr. Kringle?" he said, entering Examination Room #2.

"Hello Ben, and I never drink and fly."

"Um, I…hello, um, how did you get in here?"

"I walked. I brought toys for the kids."

"No, I mean…"

"They're up on the roof."

"Ah. Your elbow is bothering you? Let's have a look."

"It gets stiff every year, you know, from working the reins."

"Ah."

"Hey, it's Chanukah. You're supposed to be happy. Why the gloomy Gus?"

"Tonight is our anniversary. Sarah and I were going to light the candles and spend a quiet evening…together."

"So what's stopping you?"

"The storm. The roads are all closed. I'm stuck here."

"Want a ride?" Santa pointed to the roof.

Ben took a deep breath. "Why not?" He quickly wrote a prescription for an analgesic cream, filled out Santa's discharge form, grabbed his coat and took Santa to Reception.

Santa paid cash.

They headed up to the top story and stepped out onto the roof.

Rudolph's nose glowed.

"Keeps the FAA off my back," Santa shouted over the wind as he helped Ben into the sleigh and shook the reins.

The sleigh lurched into the air; Ben grabbed Santa's arm and held on for dear life.

#

Sarah was resigned to Ben not coming home. She had arranged the menorah and candles next to the window in their upstairs study where it could be seen from the street and was preparing to light the candles when she heard noise on the roof.

"Aaaahhhh…" Ben slid off the roof and onto the study's outdoor deck, which was piled high with snow.

Sarah opened the French doors and rushed onto the deck. "Ben, omigod, are you alright? How did you…"

 "Hello Mrs. Silverstein!" Santa called from the roof.

 "Oh…my…" Sarah waved.

 Santa tossed Ben a gift box. "Happy Chanukah!" he cried, shaking the reins and taking off.

 "I'm f...freezing," Ben muttered.

 "Let's get you into bed," Sarah replied, helping him inside.

 "I have a better idea," Ben handed her the box.

 #

The menorah glowed on the bathroom window sill.

Sarah settled down onto Ben in the steaming hot bath into which they had poured the ylang-ylang oil that Santa had given them. 

Ben reached around to stroke Sarah's clit as she straddled him. "Happy anniversary," he whispered.

"Happy Chanukaaaahhh…"

2023

"It's a shame about Marisol," Sarah said, taking Ben's arm as they left the hospital, "having to spend Christmas alone. Where has Kathy been posted again?"

"Pituffik, formerly Thule, in northern Greenland."

"Northern Greenland? Brrr, just saying it makes me cold."

"Cold enough to cuddle in front of the fireplace when we get home?

"Throw on some logs and see."

"Happy Chanukah Dr. and Mrs. Silverstein!" called out the elf at the charity kettle on the corner.

"Do we know you…Elmo?" Ben said, bending over to read the elf's name tag.

"I guess not. I'm the one who shoveled the reindeer shit off your yard two years ago."

"Omigod…" Sarah mumbled.

"Santa is still really sorry about that. Hey, how was that ylang-ylang oil last year? I betcha that stuff really lit your candles!"

"Um, yes, it did," Ben said, squeezing Sarah's hand. "Thank you."

"Hey, great costume kid," a passerby said as he dropped a $50 bill into the kettle. "Merry Christmas!"

"Merry Christmas sir!" Elmo shouted before turning back to Ben and Sarah. "'Kid', ha! What do they know…"

"What are you doing here Elmo?" Sarah asked.

"Santa likes us to get out and check on things, see who's been naughty or nice, you know. There's only so much you can learn online. You came at the right time. I go off shift in a couple hours. Santa will be by to pick me up. Hey, what can we do for you this year?"

"No thanks," Ben said. "We're good."

"Aw, there's gotta be something."

"Hey," Sarah said. "What about…"

#

Major Dr. Kathy Johnston fumed as she opened the door to her two-room "suite" which, as head of the base medical facility, was her sole luxury while on tour. Having to spend Christmas away from Marisol was bad enough but to have to appear on the NORAD Tracks Santa website and declare that she had examined Santa and pronounced him fit to fly was too much. Humbug to everything she thought and walked into the bedroom.

"Hey babe." Marisol, wearing only a red wool cloak with white trim, sprawled across the bed.

"Marisol??!! Oooh, you look fabulous. But how did you get here? The harbor is icebound and the next plane isn't due for a week."

"Well, lucky for us Pituffik's on the way."

"To where?

"Um…"

"And what's this?" Kathy spied a handwritten note next to a crystal candy dish on the nightstand as she took off her clothes. "'To Kathy and Marisol," she read, "These are my wife's special sugar plum candies (80 proof). Merry Christmas. K. Kringle.' Oh this is adorable! Where did you get these?"

"Come here and unwrap me and I'll tell you all about it."

"Are you staying for Christmas?" Kathy climbed into bed.

"No, the sleigh will be back to pick me up tomorrow night."

"The sleigh?" Kathy asked as she opened the cloak and lay down next to Marisol.

Marisol nodded. "But first let me give you something that'll dance in your head better than those sugar plums." She kissed Kathy's ankles, then her calves, slowly working her way up to her thighs and then her pussy.

"Ho-ho-ho," Kathy muttered. "Ho-ho-ohhh…"