It was the graveyard shift and work had slowed to a crawl. Scarcity of calls lead to head nods, so discussion was always the night’s saviour. Only five women total – including the supervisor – were on the floor for the 3 am shift, and they were huddled in an aisle with two individuals per side. Anxiety rattled them because, at any moment, Sharmaine’s call would end, and she would introduce chaos with a fresh topic to dish on – as usual. When her screen turned grey and she spun around, they awaited her next words.

“So what do y’all muhfuckas think about dudes that moan when they nut?” Sharmaine asked.

“Shar, oh my God,” replied Denise, attempting to shield her giggle.

“You always acting so innocent but I know you be up to some nasty ass shit, just like the rest of us.”

“Damn straight,” Emily said. “And I love guys being vocal.”

“Girl, me too,” replied Belinda, “Especially the ones that growl like animals. Be all, ‘Arrrrrrgggh.’ Sounding like conquerors or some shit. It’s kinda hilarious but I’ll admit; it’s a huge turn-on.”

“Growlers are noice,” Sharmaine said, “I be like, ‘yaaaaaas, gorilla nut in this sweet ass pusssaaay.’ ”

Everyone broke down and their supervisor barked in response:

“This is a place of work! I will not have you all making a scene on this production floor!” She slid away from behind her single cubicle at the top of the aisle.

“B-but, you’re being just as loud… ma’am,” Denise said, timidly raising her hand, then fixing her bangs and spectacles before looking away.

“She’s right,” Emily interjected. “Plus, you’re usually in this conversation with us. What’s wrong with your miserable butt?”

“Writing you up would make me feel a whole lot better all of a sudden.” Ms. Hoskins squinted, then tapped her bottom lip with an index finger.

A collective ooooh arose from the quartet along with a spooky twiddle of their fingers.

“Didn’t get laid last night, Sup?” Belinda raised her brows.

“Screw you, Belinda,” replied Ms. Hoskins, “And for your information, I did… for all of 30 seconds. To add to your discussion, he sobbed when he came. What a wimp.”

Cackles filled the vacant floor.

“Awwww, that’s cute,” Sharmaine said. “You know how fire ya pussy gotta be to have muhfuckas out here crying? Sheeeeit, I’m jealous, Sup. I ain’t made anybody nut like that since high school.”

“Say what?” Emily slapped a thigh. “Oh, you have no idea what you’re missing, hon. I’m dating a crier right now. He grabs me so tight and just rides his way home while shedding tears over me. Mmm, plastered in tears and cum.” She craned her head back and beamed.

“How about heavy breathers?” asked Belinda. “I get so scared thinking they having an anxiety attack.”

“That isn’t funny,” Ms. Hoskins burst into a howl. “Okay so maybe it is. My ex-husband came like that. I made sure to learn first aid within a week after we had sex the first time. I didn’t want him possibly passing on my conscience.”

“Am, well,” Denise said, “Does anyone… cuss at you during orgasm? I find men like to call me dirty names when they climax. I feel so… conflicted when it happens. I know I should be offended but it’s so… so hot.”

The collective’s eyes bulged and they wheeled their chairs in close to Denise. Even Ms. Hoskins rolled hers towards the centre of attention.

“What names do they call you, Denise?” Ms. Hoskins asked, leaning in.

“Really dirty things like, ‘fuck-hole, cunt, cum dumpster.’ I feel so nasty repeating. Oh dear, I really shouldn’t,” Denise said.

“Girl I want a little more context.” Sharmaine rubbed her thumb against her fingertips. “What exactly these muhfuckas be telling you?”

“Well last night…” Denise swung her chair repeatedly in a semi-circular arc.

“Last night?” They asked in unison.

“Am, yes.” Her eyes twitched around and she adjusted her glasses. “He said, ‘I’m cumming in your ass, you dirty, librarian-looking fuck-hole.’ ”

Jaws dropped until Emily’s line rang and she answered with haste.

“Um… okay girls.” Ms. Hoskins rolled backwards to her single cubicle and said, “Cut that chatter for now; Emily’s got a customer.” Her voice faded at the end.

Denise folded her lips and snickered. Her cheeks flushed red as she stared into her lap and then a hesitant smirk stretched across her face.

“Denise, girl...” Sharmaine shook her head and said in a quieter voice, “I told y’all this bitch be up to some nasty shit.”