It was only when I watched Red Elk turn his back to me and began to ride off that I understood. He was making me decide if I wanted to go with him or to return to my own kind. But they weren't my own kind, were they? I'm not American, and I couldn't trust them. For all I know they were no different than the savages who killed my husband, and would do awful things to me. At least Red Elk had shown he wasn't going to hurt me or force me into anything I didn't want to do.

I wasn't sure what to expect if I were to go with Red Elk. Was I to live with him and his people? Would his kind accept me, a white woman who did not speak their language or know their ways? Did Red Elk even want me to come, and if he did, as what? We had that flame for a moment, but in the last few days it hadn't been there. My feelings for him had continued to grow, but he made no advances and neither had I.

Unsure what I wanted in my heart, and my soul being confused, I didn't push the matter. The more I began to understand him, my feelings became stronger than even they were for my now dead husband. That didn't mean he felt the same for me, or as far as I knew, even wanted to.

Yes, I could have gone with the soldiers, but where would I go after that? I had nothing, no money, nothing of value to sell. There was no going back home for me. If my family ever found out I never gave myself to my husband, they'd more than likely marry me off to someone else. I don't want to go through that again. I might not be as lucky the second time around. To be honest, it scared me to even think about it.

Maybe they'd keep me and send me to work for the army as a nurse. I've had some medical training, at least enough to save a life. I could stitch a wound or set a broken bone or even help deliver a child, but I knew nothing of gun shots or those things that might be helpful to the army. The choice to go with the soldiers seemed simple... I just couldn't do it.

I looked back at Red Elk as he slowly rode away. He didn't look back once at me. My heart was shattering, I was hurt that he didn't want me to go with him. I wasn't going to give up so easily, though. With a kick to my horse, I pulled it in the direction Red Elk was heading.

“Wait!” I raised my voice just enough for him to hear me. I didn't want to draw attention from the army men but I needed him to hear me. “Don't leave me here. I want to stay with you!” I pleaded, trying to catch up to him. He hadn't made it far, but it felt like my whole world had slowed down.

I had no idea what our future held. If I would make a life with Red Elk's kind or even maybe being his wife. The idea crossed my mind, but those things, those parts of him, I wasn't sure about. I still didn't even know if he was married and had children of his own. I was frightened and unsure if the choice I was making was right. I just knew it was the only choice I could bare to make.

Red Elk turned and saw me trying to catch up with him. With the sun falling on his face, I could just make out a single tear rolling down his cheek. I felt my whole body melt at the sadness written all over his face. Had he not wanted me to go? Was he giving me the choice to stay? It lit a fuel inside me I couldn't deny.

When I reached him, I pulled my horse up to his as close as I could. I leaned over and grabbed his vest, holding myself steady, I let my lips fall onto his. His mouth opened quickly and I purred a moan of desire as his hands wrapped around me and held me in his arms. We kissed for the longest moments, tears now running down my own cheeks.

I knew what was happening, I was falling in love with him. That much was undeniable. I didn't know what would happen between us, but of all the things that have happened to me in my life, this was something that I chose. Fate may have led me to Red Elk, but staying with him was my choice. Not my mother's, not my father's and not some random man whom I had never met. It was mine and mine alone. Finally, I had the freedom of choosing.

Red Elk released our kiss and swiped away the tears that fell from my eyes. Though his had gathered more, but he didn't seem to notice his own. Just mine and it made me smile as I nuzzled my face into his large, rough hands. I knew I was making the right choice to go with him. Regardless of where my fate lay after that...

***

It tore my heart to let her go that day and it felt heavy in my chest as I rode away, I was certain she would leave me and return to the world of the whites. Then, there was the sound of hooves closing. The mournful, bird-like tone of her voice calling me in her tongue filled me with a joy I had not expected to feel. I turned and was gladdened by the way she held me to her. The kiss we shared in that moment was the happiest of my life.

Tears flowed down her cheek and I wiped them away, sharing her joy. I would have happily taken her right there on the grassy plain, but the threat of the white soldiers was still hanging over us. I knew we needed to ride away from them. Together, we rode south, heading for the lands of my people and her future home.

Little was said between us as we rode that day. We still shared the names of the animals and landmarks we saw in each other's tongue, but underneath, we had somehow come together. Often, I would see her smile at me when she thought I was not looking. I would try to catch her, but each time she would shyly look away. Those glances stirred me and I found myself laughing quietly.

"You are as beautiful as a white dove, but as timid as a rabbit," I told her, chuckling at how very much a young girl she seemed. To think that at one time I thought she was crazy. Now, I began to realize I was the one who was mad for her.

"Can we stop?" she asked as the sun began to drop from the sky. "I'm hungry and I need to stretch my legs."

It amazed me, but in our own special tongue, we were beginning to be able to communicate. "Yes, Elsie," I replied. Even then, just saying her name made me smile and I dismounted to help her from her pony.

I started a fire while she cared for our horses and by the time the darkness fell, we had our meat cooking over the open flames. "I'm glad you stayed with me, my dove." I told her in my tongue. I hoped she understood. Her face turned a beautiful shade of pink and she turned away but not before that little smile played across her face.

"Why did you want me to leave?" she asked after several heartbeats.

It took me awhile to understand what she meant, but then I knew. I took her hand, trying hard to make her know what was in my mind. "You had to choose," I told her. "I could not force you to be mine. You are no pony I can break to my will. I would not have you looking at me as your captor, or as a slave does to her master."

I said more, my words spilling out quickly, but by then I think her understanding failed. Her face reflected the orange glow of the flames, and soon I became lost in the depths of her blue eyes.

Later, when the night grew cold, she came to me and we covered ourselves in my bed skins. I was filled with a longing I had never before felt as we snuggled together and even through her tattered clothing, she felt soft and warm against my skin. Her body pressed tightly against my bare chest and I held her in my arms and we watched the fire as it slowly burned away.

Its heat seemed as nothing compared to her warmth and I caressed her shoulder with my lips, kissing her much as she had me earlier in the day. My manhood was hard and full of need under my loincloth and I felt certain she could feel this as I pressed my body against hers.

Elsie sighed softly as my kisses moved to her lips and she resisted not at all as she reclined on her back next to me. I wanted her in that moment, not just as my companion but as my lover and my wife. Not knowing how to say such words to her, I let my hand slide up her leg and under her dress. The softness of her skin made my heart beat strongly in my chest and I moved over her body so as to finally mount her as my own.

I throbbed and felt hot in my hand as I raised her dress and brought myself between her cream colored thighs. Elsie moaned and shifted her body, accepting me over her and kissed me hard, wrapping her arms around my neck. Her tongue flicked urgently against my lip until l met it with my own, sucking it into my mouth.

"I love you, my White Dove," I told her hoping she understood. Her breasts were hard and firm under me and I pulled her dress down, uncovering them and exposing her pink nipples to my view.

Elsie gasped and trembled as I kissed her, squirming under me as if she was filled with an uncontrollable need to move. It was when my mouth fell on her white-as-milk skin did she shudder with fear.

"Wait! No, Red Elk, stop. I can't. I'm so sorry, but I can't do this!" Her hands covered her breasts and she rolled away, forcing herself out from under me.

I sat back on my haunches, stunned by her rejection. I did not understand why she would push me away, and I felt a stabbing pain in my heart as if she had run a knife into my chest. In that moment, I might have wished she had. Anger and frustration filled my belly and once again, I began to doubt her sanity.

***

Every fiber of my being screamed at me for pulling away. With all he was doing to me, his touch and embrace felt so natural, but I just couldn't do it. How could I have sex with a man I'm wasn't married to, even if I believed I was in love with him? I was raised to only give myself to my husband. But, did that matter? I never slept with the man I was married to. I could easily see myself marrying Red Elk, if he wanted me.

His words lingered in my mind. I may not have understood everything he had said, but I believe in my heart I knew what he meant. As I looked at him, he was hurt, I could see it once I pulled away. He must thought I'd lost my mind. A crazy woman who was giving him mixed signals, all because he didn't know my ways. I knew if it were the other way around how terribly hurt I'd feel.

“Red Elk,” I whispered, facing him now that I was covered once more. “I'm sorry. It isn't because I don't want to be with you.” I tried to explain, not sure if he'd understood or even cared to know. “I was raised to wait until marriage, to give the gift of my virginity to the man I loved, in the sanctity of marriage.”

He stared at me like I was out of my mind. Maybe I was. Maybe I had lost it a week ago, when all this began. I didn't want him to think I didn't want him. I knew there had to be a way for me to show him I how much I wanted him, without giving him everything. Not just yet anyway.

I inched closer to him, kneeling in front of him. I cupped his face with my small hands and caressed my lips on his. Timidly, he allowed me, but did not move to touch me. He must have been afraid, fearing I might stop if he did. My tongue rolled along his lips, until he parted them for me. I kissed him with gusto, shivering with a ravenous need.

Soon, he willingly allowed me to kiss him and I pushed him back with my hand against his chest, urging him down into the bed skins. My lips began to explore him. It had been something I'd been longing to do since the day I met him, and now I had that chance. My lips traveled along his chin, until I made way towards his neck. My breath was warm and slightly tickled his skin, making goosebumps raise on his flesh.

It wasn't long until I moved down over his beautifully defined chest. Each muscle rippling over his body like a wild river flowing down its banks. With no hair to speak of, except the tiny path that slithered underneath his loincloth, I was able to taste all of him. My mouth moved up and back towards his chest, biting softly on each nipple, gauging a reaction from him. A sharp hiss, along with a lustful groan met each bite.

My hand moved under his cloth, wanting to feel the powerful tool he had tucked hidden away. Red Elk's cock was rigid and hard, throbbing thickly as I began to stroke him. His whole body stiffened, his eyes dead locked on mine. I questioned whether he had ever been touched by a woman and the idea of him not ever having been with one only made me love him more.

Becoming more daring, I wanted to know how far I could allow myself to take this. I remembered one of my friends from my years back home telling me that her sister took her husband into her mouth and sucked him until he reached his peak. She had said knowing she caused him such pleasure was the most magnificent feeling she had ever had. It was then I knew I had to do this for Red Elk. With everything else I'd done to him and kept denying him, I could do this. It still meant I could keep my virginity, at least until I knew he would marry me.

My shyness overtook me, wondering if I should, but I wanted to. I was reluctant to do it, thinking it might not be enough for him. But who was I to say no to this. He had no idea what I planned. With my free hand, I lifted his loincloth and exposed his throbbing member for me to see.

His dark flesh glowed against the flame. I was able to make out every line, bump and vein in his cock. I lowered myself down and gently kissed the tip of his head, my lips meeting his slit. Red Elk quickly twitched, looking at me, his eyes were wide and stunned. It reminded me of a deer who saw the arrow coming just a little too late.

I wrapped my mouth around him and I could feel his whole body grew stiff. My lips worked down over him as my tongue slithered along his length. The moisten path was easier coming up and then to work back down until I had a steady pace going. Each time I went down, I took him further into my mouth. Every so often I gagged a little, forgetting to focus on my breathing at the same time. But I did not scare myself out from doing it, because the moans that erupted from Red Elk was enough for me to want to suck his cock for the rest of my days.

Never had I heard such beautiful sounds as the ones I did from him that night. The way his hips rolled up into my mouth while I sucked him. Or how his hands felt in my hair as I pushed him deeper into my mouth. I couldn't believe how right it felt, and it was too much fun to want to stop. His spongy head slid against the wet softness of my tongue. I loved how he pulsed in my mouth every couple of minutes.

It seemed like it happened in the blink of an eye but also it seemed to last a lifetime. When he howled out, he started to fill my mouth with a tangy saltiness that I swallowed quickly. I didn't know what else to do. Gulp after gulp, until he laid still, panting hard as he groaned. I sucked until his manhood began to grow softer.

When I pulled him out of my mouth, I moved up into his arms and kissed him gently.

The night was late and I was tired. At that point I could barely keep my eyes open, but I couldn't remove the smile on my face, even if I tried to. Red Elk kept kissing all over my face. He was gentle, kissing my forehead, cheeks, my lips and repeating it. I could tell he was happy, as he kept repeating “My Dove, My Dove.”

***

My mind was thick with thoughts that night. I still did not understand my beautiful Elsie, but I would never again doubt her sanity, or her love for me. Her gift was far too wonderful for me to ever believe otherwise. My beautiful White Dove curled up in my arms and was asleep before my heart calmed to its steady beat

I was exhausted from the kiss she gave my body. She had quenched the fire in my blood with a magic I'd only heard whispers of. It was a gift. I could believe nothing else as she could not have felt what I did from that kiss. I wanted desperately to return her a gift of equal value, but I had nothing worthy of her love. My brothers and the older warriors of the tribe had spoken over the camp fires of their times with women who had kissed them so. It was common for married warriors to brag of their intimate times with their wives.

They laughed and slapped each other on the back, proving their manhood to us as the night hours passed. I was old enough to marry, but my own hesitance, and desire to be alone, had made it hard for me to find a woman I could love.

My mother pushed me many times to find a wife, but there was none in the tribe I wanted to share my lodge with. Finally, if for no other reason but to escape her disappointment, my father encouraged me to follow my spirit in a quest to become a man. It was then I made my way to the Great River. I had hoped to return as a great hunter, with such valuable pelts that the others would consider me their equal around the fires.

It was then I knew what gift I could give my Dove to equal the one she had given me. I had known from the beginning that her white man's clothing was not suited for the plains. I saw her in my mind with a dress of beaver fur that would be beautiful on her body and that would keep her warm when the winter came in its fury.

All night, I toiled by the fire, weaving pelt after pelt into a dress worthy of her beauty. By the time I was finished, my best pelts were sown together and I felt proud of my work. I could think of no better use for those hard-won skins. It was with a great contentment in my heart that sleep took me that morning.

It was cold when I woke. Elsie was cooking something over the fire, huddling close as she tried to hide from the biting wind.

"Good morning, my dove," I said with a great yawn, and she smiled at me when she saw me rise.

"You slept late, Red Elk. I wondered if I made you overly tired last night." Her face turned pink and that shy smile flashed like the morning sun on her lips, but this time she held my gaze.

"A man could sleep many days after such a kiss." I came over to her and held her close, sensing a shiver in her body. "Come. I have something for you."

Perhaps the spirits blessed us that night, but somehow we were more able than even to speak, and Elsie looked at me skeptically as I went back the bed roll.

"I don't think the morning is the appropriate time for another kiss in the skins," she said with a laugh.

Her words tickled me deeply and I laughed from deep in my chest. "Why would it not be, my dove? A sane man would never feel there was a wrong time to have the woman he loves, but that isn't what I have for you today." I pulled the dress up and put it in her hands, showing my creation to her with pride.

Elsie's deep blue eyes became wide and a tear formed as she ran her fingers through the thick fur of her dress. "Oh, my lord, Red Elk. You made this yourself? For me?"

I watched her as she held it to her body, looking forward to her trying it on. I smiled, knowing she would have the strip off her other clothes, but she gave me a stern look. "Turn around, Red Elk. It wouldn't be proper for you to see me naked in the daylight."

"What is this word, 'proper'?" I do not understand its meaning," I asked with a smile. Else smiled back but still waited, unmoving until I turned my back. "You whites are crazy, but I will have to learn to live with that, won't I?"

"No more crazy than a lone man attacking four men with guns. Doing things like that will get you killed someday. Still, I was very impressed."

I heard the rustling of clothes and I was sorely tempted to turn, but I held my place. If I was to love this woman, I would need to respect her odd ways.

"You can turn around now," she finally told me and when I did, I was speechless at her beauty.

***

His dark eyes sparkled in the sunlight as he turned to look at me and his jaw dropped with approval. It was almost comical. Though we were still learning to understand each other’s languages and making our own, I could read his face clear as day. He approved thoroughly with how I looked in his skins. I felt freer, a new person emerging from the shell of who I once was. I was no longer the timid, shy, and scared girl.

With the confidence I've never felt before, I smiled at him, giving him a turn so he could see it in full view. When my eyes met his again, his face lit up, smiling proudly at his efforts in giving me such a beautiful gift.

“Thank you, Red Elk. It fits me wonderfully. You sure do have a good eye.” I said, as I praised him. “Now I have another question...” I trailed on, suddenly feeling my shyness creep back up. My cheeks flushing at the thought of asking him my coming question.

“You can ask me anything, White Dove,” he replied while chewing on what little breakfast we had.

“Well, I noticed our food supply is running thin. I don't know how far we are from where we're going, but I'd like for you to teach me to hunt. I want to help out. I can't leave all the work up to you.”

I remember asking my father to take us girls hunting when I lived at home. We did it more for fun of the sport and less to survive on it, but I had always been interested in learning. One can never be too careful, wanting as much knowledge as I could consume. The fear of not knowing something simple and going without seemed foolish to me. My father didn't understand this and wouldn't let us girls go.

As I looked at Red Elk, I could tell he was also hesitant about it. Maybe his kind aren't all that different from mine. Frustration started to build in my belly, I was almost glaring at him as I waited for his reply.

“You do as I say and you don't complain. You understand? We do not let woman hunt. We take care of our woman." He stared defiantly at me, probably to see if I'd back down but I only returned his gaze, showing I could be just as stubborn. I thought we might actually be about to have our first real fight, but then his smile returned and he looked at me like I was a petulant child.

"Are all white woman so crazy? Do you not know how dangerous it is to hunt? I suppose you won't rest until I agree though, and I admit it might be good for you to know.” I could tell the words didn't come easy for him.

I wanted to do a dance in excitement but I thought better of it. He'd find me too childish and take back his word. Instead, I cleaned up from breakfast so we could go out as soon as possible. Red Elk kept smiling at me. I knew he knew how excited I was to start.

Over the next couple of days Red Elk had all the patience in the world with me. At first, he took one of my dresses and torn it so he could hook it up to make a target. He showed me how to use his bow with that. It took several attempts to even reach my target, but that first time I did, I was so happy I swung myself into his arms and kissed him deeply. It was a bold move, one I wouldn't normally ever dream of doing, but it felt so right with him.

The bond between us continued to grow, our language skills improving by the day. It was a deep mix of both our languages. I had never felt happier than I did with Red Elk. He made me feel fearless. That was until we finally went out for our first hunt. We had been out for no more than a couple of hours when he was about to take down a buck.

The sun was just creeping into the eastern skies. The flourishing of pinks, oranges and blues glistened in the skies. The world was silent, besides the quiet rustling of the buck eating, and our slow, soft breathing as I watched Red Elk take his aim. It was then, as he pulled back the bow did he let out a yelp of pain and fell to the ground, dropping his bow, and gripping his ankle. Quickly, he grabbed the axe he kept with him and chopped the snake's head off with one swift movement.

In the blink of an eye, the buck shot off, sprinting further and further away from us. My eyes went from the buck to Red Elk just as he removed his hand from his ankle. I dropped to my knees and looked at the bite. I helped him lean against a tree, so the bite stayed below his heart, Red Elk remained calm and quiet as I rummaged through the bag we brought.

“I'm going to suck the venom out. Don't worry, I know how.” I said, without asking, but moving to do it.

“No Elsie, my White Dove, it's not safe,” he said, trying to keep me from his ankle, which was slowing swelling.

“Red Elk, I've done this before. It happened to my brothers more than you'd know. Now stop. Just breathe and let me do this.”

Without missing a beat, I leaned down and began to suck the venom from his wound. I sucked and spit several times until I was satisfied I got the poison from his ankle. I then wet a cloth and cleaned his wound before tying a dry cloth around his ankle. If he was like my brothers, he'd be out of it for a day or two, if he made it past those days, he would be fine.

By then, he was passing in and out. I struggled to get him back to our camp. He was heavy and I had to almost drag him most of the way. I knew it could have been a lot worse. We made it back by the grace of God and I helped him into his bed skins. I knew it was foolish of me to do, but we still needed food. So, I took his bow and ax and went in search for food.

It was mid-afternoon by the time I got out and found another buck. It was smaller than the one Red Elk and I found, but it would serve its purpose. My hands shook with fear. I didn't want to be out any longer than I had to be, but we needed this meat. Otherwise it would be all pointless. Once he woke up, he'd need to fill his belly.

With slow, contemplating breathes, I steadied my hand and pulled back on the bowstring. I counted to three, before releasing the arrow. I watched it whistle through the wind and then make contact with the buck. It hit right under its shoulder and into the rib-cage. I watched as it stumbled for a moment, before falling. I quickly went to it and took my knife, slitting its throat to finish him off. I let him drain, before dragging him back home.

By the time I reached camp, I wanted to drop dead onto the bed skins and sleep, but I knew I had to finish the job. It was on me and I wasn't about to let this meat go to waste. Not with everything I've gone through to get this far. I felt proud of myself and couldn't wait to hear and see what Red Elk thought...

***

I do not remember much of that day. We had been hunting in a low valley, tracking a buck. I was careless and paying too much attention to Elsie when I stepped on the snake. My father would have beat me raw for being so foolish, and before I could move, it had pierced my leg with its fangs.

Afterward, Elsie sucked away the venom. I was more afraid that she would be poisoned in turn, but she seemed very sure of her skill. Somehow, she got me back to camp. I was out of my mind the next few days. I remember only images of her gazing worriedly over me while she cooled the fever from my skin, or feeling her body keeping me warm in the cold of the night.

I was hungry and thought I would have to wait for food, but somehow she killed a deer and put fresh meat on the fire. Its scent was the first thing that pierced the fog in my mind. I also remember how I felt that night when I realized my Elsie, my crazy white woman, had saved my life.

That night my strength returned as did my manly desires. Once again, Elsie brought her mouth over me, sucking my hardness in a way that made my heart run wild like a thunderous bull. I loved the wetness and warmth of her lips as they dragged over my skin. She licked me and kissed the tip of my manhood in a way that had me arching in the skins.

Elsie was becoming more skilled as she learned how my body reacted, and she used her hands with their mouth to draw my moment close. I felt like I was held in the grip of hot swirling pool as I felt my seed explode into her mouth.

After I had emptied myself, Elsie curled up against me, snuggling close. She was happy and smiled like the crescent moon, yet I felt a need to do something for her. I rolled her on her back and urged her legs apart. Elsie's fear of being mounted returned, but I stilled her with a finger to her lips, and then moved lower until my mouth was between her thighs.

"Oh... What are you doing?" she asked as I began to kiss her entrance. She was frightened and hesitant, but when she felt my tongue slide through her folds, she moaned and rolled her hips up toward my kiss. "Unh, my lord, what are you doing? That feels... Oh, my God! Don't stop, whatever you're doing, don't stop kissing me there."

Hearing the sudden excitement in her voice and feeling her body trembling under me made me hot with need. The more she squirmed and wiggled in my arms, the harder I licked and kissed her soft flesh. My tongue probed and licked her all along her crease until I let it glide over a small bump near the top of her lips.

Elsie gasped and her hands flew to my head when I kissed this bump. She tried hard to grind it into my mouth. I could see that this was different, and I pressed my wet lips around it and sucked her hard. For a moment, she seemed to freeze in my arms, and then her whole body convulsed and jerked. Her belly rippled and a low, powerful groan escaped from her chest.

It took me another day for my strength to fully return. Elsie fed me and cared for me in a way that made me want our bond to never be broken. By the morning of the next day, we began the final ride that would bring us to the valley of my people, and I looked to the future with hope, knowing there, our life together would be happy for us both.