"You go first," Jake said

In high school, once I was sixteen and had a driver's license, I dated girls whenever I could. I had no sexual interest in other guys. There's a lot of porn with scenes of guys checking each other out in the gym showers, but I don't remember myself doing any of that. We had bodies and dicks of all shapes and sizes, but I took little notice of other guys most of the time.

I wasn't getting much action from the girls, but I considered myself perfectly normally heterosexual. Many of my peers dated only once in a while, because we were busy with school and sports and stuff. I could borrow the family car if I wanted to take a girl on a date, which was always a movie and a snack somewhere that other kids hung out. Then, before going home, I would try to find a dark spot to park and make out.

I didn't lose my virginity until after high school; even at their hottest my high school dates consisted of groping breasts with my hands, and some clumsy, fumbling oral sex if I could talk her into opening her legs a little.

Even the oral sex I experienced on high school dates was pretty tame stuff. I don't think any girl I went down on had an actual orgasm. We were in the back seat of a car, remember, I wasn't very skilled, and she was probably pretty nervous. If I got four or five minutes of excitement licking her pussy, and she didn't think it unpleasant, we both came away winners! I'd be hard as a rock with my face in her crotch, and while I writhed around on the car seat face down, I'd get an erection and shoot my cum in my pants.

I now know that I was a very unusual young man in one particular respect. I didn't enjoy it at all if my date offered to return the oral sex favors. I may be the only man I know who never came to orgasm while getting my dick sucked. When I was a teenager, I usually couldn't even keep an erection while being sucked. I didn't like the feeling at all - too much drool and teeth! The position – sitting – also seemed awkward, and made my average cock barely protrude. It was also uncomfortable to have my pants around my knees, as if I was partially restrained.

But even though my physical discomfort may have been real, I've since had many opportunities to be sucked to orgasm while comfortably naked in a bed, and - nothing. In my lifetime several women (and one or two men) have tried to give me a blowjob, and I never much enjoyed it. I don't know if I never got a good one, or if I'm a freak, but I just don't much enjoy getting blown.

Most Friday or Saturday nights in high school I didn't have a date, so I'd perform the American teenage ritual of driving around with a buddy, looking for girls. Lots of guys did this whenever they didn't have a date. Jake hadn't been my best friend when we were younger, but now he had a car, never spent a weekend night at home if he could avoid it, and loved to drive. We never took my car, I mean my parents' car, so he pretty much decided where we went, and how long we hung around at each spot before giving up and moving on. He led the way and I tagged along. It was aimless, "American Graffiti" style cruising, driving from one teen hangout to another, radio playing, windows down, ready to flirt.

I never thought at the time that what Jake and I were doing was dating each other. But looking back now, it kind of was. I think we were a kind of an oblivious, platonic, gay couple. Jake always called me and no one else; I always cruised with him and not with anyone else. We were steady, going out together all the time. We didn't express, or maybe even consciously feel, any romantic affection or sexual attraction, but there we were.

And somehow we never found girls, and always ended up parked in the woods somewhere, smoking and talking, not ready yet to go home. Two guys in a car, parked somewhere dark and private, talking about imaginary girls, and fantasy sex, getting boned. There was no good reason to be shy about opening our zippers and masturbating ourselves, because we'd each jerked off with other friends in the past. Jake usually came into a tissue; I rarely ejaculated, despite how much I enjoyed the feelings as I sat in the car, stroking my cock, and watching Jake blow his load.

Eventually one night we stroked each other. We'd both done something similar with buddies, so it didn't feel like new territory. We would sit there in the car, pants open, one of us jacking off the other, sometimes but not always both at once, in the dark. Sometimes I would get my left arm out of the way in between us by putting it up on the seatback behind Jake, kind of hugging him while we stroked with our right hands.

And then one night it all changed forever when we agreed to swap blowjobs, and I went first.

It is hard for me now to believe how little thought I gave to going first, how little I hesitated before offering my mouth for another guy's cock to squirt into. I wish I had the words to describe this better. I did not at that moment think that what I was doing moved me from the heterosexual category to the homosexual category. Guys sometimes jerked each other off - that didn't make them gay for life. Getting sucked didn't make you gay, so sucking each other would be okay, right?

I'd blow Jake, and he'd blow me, and we'd be even. Sucking might be a little sissy, but getting sucked was manly, so it all balanced out, sort of. Then we'd tuck in and go home, and next weekend we'd go looking for girls again. Or maybe even have a date with a girl. We were both normal.

The first time I sucked cock it was, I can still remember, physically uncomfortable. I hunched over to my left, twisted ninety degrees sideways in the front seat, with my feet still pointing forwards in front of me. I was a first-timer at sucking dick, but after getting the hang of it, I enjoyed it. I kind of felt that I was in control, that I was driving for a change, if you know what I mean. Jake certainly enjoyed it too, telling me how good it felt, softly stroking my face and head while then blowing his load into my throat.

The taste of Jake's cum was not bad, like I had feared it would be. Although I had eaten my own cum many times after masturbating, and I quite liked the taste, I thought maybe everybody else's cum would be awful. Jake's wasn't awful at all, and he talked about how great my mouth felt right up until the moment I stopped sucking him.

I had barely sat up in my seat, ready to get my turn, when headlights coming towards us scared us, and we quickly zipped up and tried to look normal. Jake mumbled that he would have to "owe me one," and started the engine.

I could still taste his cum in my mouth fifteen minutes later when he dropped me at my house. Even later, in my own bed trying to sleep, I realized that I was disappointed that there had been so little cum to swallow, nowhere near a mouthful. I recalled the pleasant sensation of his smooth, soft-but-hard rod in my mouth, and the way my lips tightened over the lollipop-shaped head of his dick as the hot shaft went in and out of my mouth. I went to sleep happy, not even slightly conflicted. It would only be weeks later that I would have reasons to worry about what I was doing.

==

That was a Friday night, and we went out again Saturday night. At first, we were both trying to act as if nothing had changed, and we talked about everything else while driving from place to place. I think we both doubled-down on the flirting with the girls we met Saturday!

But Jake was in a hurry that night, and we cruised a little less than normal before getting back into a dark place to park. Jake told me straight out that he wanted another blowjob, and said that he wanted to give me the one he owed me, to get it out of the way.

But when we parked Saturday night I did not immediately open my pants, or ask him to do anything. I was embarrassed, a little bit because of what we were about to do, but also I was kind of ashamed that my dick was soft. I was supposed to be raring to go, right, to collect on my blowjob? I'd played with myself towards the end of the drive, but my penis remained soft.

When Jake shut off the engine and turned towards me, I fumbled with my pants and finally tried to get my cock out so Jake could suck it. I didn't feel excitement or eagerness, just shyness, and I couldn't get erect. My cock just flopped around in the dark. Neither my manipulations, or then Jake's, brought me to hardness.

Humiliated by my own shortcomings, wanting to bring this awkwardness to an end, I quickly put my hand on Jake's crotch and offered to again "go first". He sat back in his seat and, as they say in the romantic novels, let me have my way with him. His cock was hard and warm, and tonight I slipped my legs forward to kneel on the floor of the car under the dashboard. Now I could face him without twisting my torso, and could suck him from a semi-kneeling position that felt more comfortable for me.

I had less trouble tonight keeping my teeth back, and enjoyed this suck more than the first one because I was now an experienced swallower of cum. Friday night I had worried about what to do when he shot his load, and whether or not I could swallow. Tonight I was relaxed and, well, happy. I kind of relaxed into the moment now – it was no longer about my under-performing cock, and more about my hungry mouth. At least my lips and tongue were raring to go, even if Little Donald was napping!

Jake was in his happy place too, and kept up a running commentary as I nibbled and sucked on the head and the shaft of his cock. He said it was wonderful, and that I was such a good friend to help him out, and that he could do this all night. "I love it when you swallow me," he said in the dark. His words immediately awakened my penis, which twitched in my pants as I knelt in the dark with Jake's bigger cock in my mouth.

It's not an original thought that erect cocks are both hard as a rock and yet soft, both at the same time. I enjoyed handling, and sucking, Jake's powerful tool. On some level, it gave me pleasure that his dick was so hard while my own drooled limply in my underpants. It's also well-known that sucking almost anything is a fundamentally pleasant thing to do. It almost didn't matter that it was his cock in my mouth. I think I would have been pleased if he had his hand in my mouth. The act of sucking, and of submitting, was its own reward. And his big glans popped through my taut lips going in, and coming out on the backstroke; I loved that feeling, and licked his slit with the tip of my tongue.

Jake lasted much longer Saturday night than he had on Friday, so instead of five nervous minutes, we both had ten or fifteen pleasant minutes. While I worked his dick with my mouth he told me that I was his best friend, and that being here with me was the greatest thing that happened to him. He mumbled that my mouth was wonderful, and that I was wonderful too.

I loved the feeling of control that I had while working on his cock, and he relaxed knowing that I'd go all the way, and swallow with a smile. It helped us both that no other cars wandered by that night to spook us, so Jake had time to relax and then at the end to come down from his orgasm. I stopped moving my head and mouth after swallowing his jizz, but stayed quiet, with my head on his lap and his softening dick in my mouth. I nursed on his glans like a nipple for two or three minutes in the quiet car.

We even had time for a post-orgasm cigarette. He tried one final time to jerk my cock into an erection, but nothing happened, and he quickly gave up trying. He promised me that he would pay me back some other time, whenever I wanted, and we tidied up and went home.

==

The next Friday night I had a date with a girl, but she didn't want to make out after the movie. She asked me to take her home to her strict parents, who told me when I picked her up that they took her curfew very seriously and that I should, also! No harm, no foul – any date in high school was better than sitting home, and whether or not a girl "put out" a little wasn't a relationship killer.

So that night I ended up in my bedroom at home earlier than planned, and found myself wondering where Jake was with his date. For some reason, I had no trouble getting hard and jerking off all the way when I was alone in my own bed, and I did.

Saturday morning I called Jake and he bragged that he'd had a fantastic date, and that they had enjoyed a hot make-out session at the very same place he and I normally parked. That night we spent only an hour or two driving around before parking there ourselves.

Jake reached towards my crotch and asked me if I was hard, and I told him not yet, so once again I "went first". While I was sucking his dick he told me that his date the night before had gone down on him too, right here in the same place!

For some reason that made me very excited. He told me she was a better cock-sucker than I was. That strangely made me want to do a better job. I started moving my head faster, and used my lips and tongue even more than I was used to. He said how much fun it would be if we both had dates here, and if we were both getting our cocks sucked.

It was hard for me to imagine that his fantasy would be any more exciting for me than what was actually happening in the real world. For perhaps the first moment, I weighed the pleasure of what I was doing against the ideal notion of me on a date with a girl, and I began to consider that I truly got enormous pleasure from sucking his dick.

I was bent at the waist to suck his dick, and I moved my crotch right up against the front of the car seat. I began to pump myself against the seat while my head bobbed up and down over Jake's groin. Pump when my head went down, pump when I lifted my head. He had the seat back as far as it would go, and sat comfortably, leaning to his left against the driver-side door with his right leg up on the seat in front of me. His legs were wide open, and I was unconsciously thrusting my own pelvis against the car seat, pumping and thrusting as I sucked and swallowed until I ejaculated into my pants as my nose burrowed into his pubes.

Later he moved to see if I was erect and ready to collect my debt. I shamefacedly told him I had cum by myself while I was sucking his penis. He seemed puzzled for just a second when his right hand felt the sloppy mess that was my cock and balls. This was the first moment, surprisingly, that he truly understood what I was about. Neither one of us would pretend from now on that we were two straight guys helping each other out in the absence of pussy. I would be his pussy, whenever he wanted. He would be straight, and I would suck his cock whenever he asked me to, and I would love it.

==

So a new pattern was set: less and less cruising, more and more cock-sucking, and with me always going first. Funny thing is, he never did stop saying it that way: "Hey, do you want to go first?" We both knew nobody ever went second. I never did get hard without a dick in my mouth, and Jake never did suck me, and we enjoyed the sex more and more as my oral skills got better.

I learned to enjoy jizzing my shorts while swallowing his slimy loads. It was no longer, to me, a sign of my failure as a man. It was how I got orgasms from Jake. He got more vocal each time about what I was doing, less concerned, if he ever was, about insulting me for being, "my regular cocksucker." He also called my mouth a pussy, as in, "let's get my cock into your pussy now, Don."

By December, I had pretty much stopped trying to date girls entirely, and other than the few nights Jake dated, he fucked my face almost every Friday and Saturday night. He'd started to call me a sissy, but in a sweet, endearing tone, not like an insult. "You love being my special sissy, Don, don't you?" said while stroking or caressing my face in his lap. One night he said, "I'm starting to love your pussy." And the thrill I got was as if he had declared his love for me, not just my mouth.

Somehow, against all logic, I still thought I was a normal straight guy. I wasn't gay just because I smoked Jake's meat once in a while. Guys fool around, don't they? All Jake's sissy and cocksucker talk was a kind of tender endearment, not humiliation. I had become very important to Jake, maybe the most important person in his life right now. Jake needed me almost as much as I needed him, and his cock.

We were two very contented young men, not concerned about putting a label on ourselves, still searching for girls when we could - until Christmas screwed everything up.

==

His aunt, uncle, and cousins came to stay for two weeks at Christmas and New Year's. Jake's male cousin, John, was about our age, and was pretty much an asshole. Jake's cousin Samantha was a year older, a senior in high school. I'd met John and Samantha the year before, and had not liked John at all. He bragged all the time about his sports and his girlfriends - plural, he wanted us to know. I'm older now, and know he was insecure and fronting for his own perceived inadequacies, but at the time I just thought he was a jerk.

During the first few days, John got to bragging about all the tail he got back home. Jake started to say that he scored with girls at his school, too. It was silly back and forth bragging, but guys do it. John eventually squeezed out of Jake that despite his declared dating prowess the furthest he'd ever actually gone with a girlfriend was oral sex - that Jake was still a virgin.

John bragged to Jake that he had fucked three or four girls back home, and Jake, trying to think of a comeback, said that he got his cock sucked every weekend. Back and forth with the bragging and the taunting they went, until Jake let slip that his go-to cocksucker was a guy, a guy John knew, me. John didn't believe him, or pretended not to, and then Jake sold me out. He offered to show John in real life what a great cocksucker he had made of me.

I only found all this out later, of course. When Jake called me Friday afternoon and asked if I wanted to drive around that night, I was happy to accept. We had already discussed that John's visit would probably mess up our routine. I didn't think to ask what John would do with the families while Jake and I cruised, but I didn't much care. I was just really pleasantly surprised that I'd get to be alone with Jake that night.

When Jake pulled up and I saw John was with him I was really disappointed, but I still didn't know that they had a scheme. I jumped to the conclusion that Jake's plan to ditch John had failed, and that Jake had had no choice but reluctantly to bring John along. "Oh well, no sex tonight," I thought, and got in the back seat.

We cruised some of the normal teen hangouts that night, but for some weird reason, John was being really nice to me. Gone was the jerky braggart, self-centered to a fault. This year's John was charming, and acted like seeing me again was going to be a pleasant highlight of his family's visit.

At the very first stop, as we got back into the car to leave, John got into the back with me and made a joke about it to Jake, saying that he didn't want me to feel neglected. He even offered to let me "ride shotgun", but he'd already climbed into the back, and closed the door, and I was kind of jammed in where I was.

We must have stopped at three or four more places, and the whole time we drove John sat facing me, arm up on the seatback, occasionally touching my leg or arm. He was really a much nicer guy than I remembered, and I kind of stopped paying attention to Jake and the driving and chatted with John.

Until we parked.

There.

There in our regular dark secluded space. Jake shut off the engine and knelt backwards on the driver seat, facing John and me in the back.

I think I knew then what was coming, but I didn't know how it would play out. I was more scared than excited. All pretenses were slipping away. Jake and I weren't two guys who helped each other out. I did all the helping. Jake was always going to owe me one. I was there in that car that night for the same reason I always was there, to suck cock.

Without any preamble or explanation, Jake said: "You go first. With John. He's really horny." As if of course I'd suck any dick waved in front of me. As if no one needed to ask me. As if I was a dedicated cocksucker.

I silently turned sideways and saw that John was already lowering his pants and exposing his hard cock, which sprang up and slapped his abs as he pulled this underwear down that last inch. I think I stared at it too long, because when I looked up at John's face he was relaxed and smiling. "Come on, Don. Jake told me you're really good at this. I want to try your pussy mouth."

I quickly looked at Jake, like for help or something, but he avoided my eyes. He nodded his head towards John's lap as if to say, "don't look at me, Don, there's a dick over there with your name on it."

I looked back at John, and then down again to his erect penis. John's words, "Jake told me you're really good at this," were echoing in my head. I had no secrets anymore. I had no reputation to protect. I didn't have to be at the mercy of girls anymore if I didn't want to.

My knees sagged slowly to the floor of the car and my hands hesitantly grabbed John's cock and pulled it towards my face. He was bigger than Jake by an inch or two, but I'd never learned to deep throat, and the extra length didn't much matter as much as the larger girth. I began to suck and lick the part I could suck and lick, while slowly pumping the rest.

At the time, the worst part of that night was John's banter about what a fairy cock-sucker I was. John most definitely wanted to humiliate me, and tightly held my head in his hands as he pulled me back and forth on that pole of his. "Christ, you're a cock-hungry sissy Don, aren't you? I always knew you're a sissy."

Jake's own words that night were less cruel, but even my good friend heaped some abuse on me as I sucked their cocks in the back seat of that car that night. Before John's first load was delivered down my straining throat Jake had come around and gotten into the big back seat on my other side. He stared at my mouth, and John's big cock plunging in and out. "I was right, wasn't I, John? Isn't that good pussy? You love this, Don, don't you? You love making cocks squirt."

Jake's first turn came quickly because his cousin came quickly. John blasted at least twice as much cum into my mouth as Jake ever had, almost a mouthful. John was the first one of them to call me a sissy, a word Jake had never used. John's words were something like, "suck Jake's cock now, sissy, but come back to me when he's done with you. I've got lots more cum for you to drink." John's cockhead was fatter than Jake's, so I really got off on that lollipop popping sensation I mentioned before.

They each got hard again watching me suck the other one's cock. I sucked them both at least three times that night, each blowjob taking longer than the one before. John taught me to suck his balls, and to lick his scrotum, things I'd never thought to do alone with Jake. When I sucked Jake's balls for the first time, he loved it.

We spent over an hour there in that back seat, cumming and swallowing, cumming and swallowing. Jake, sitting to my right, got the last blowjob of the night. Because I was on my knees leaning forward to Jake's crotch, it was easy for John to reach under my torso with his right arm and kind of hold me in place, sort of a hug.  While he did that, and while I still nursed and nibbled on Jake's familiar cock, John reached across with his left hand and very slowly stuck the tip of a wet finger into my ass.

I was shocked at first, but after a minute or two of gentle in and out it felt good, especially when he bent his finger and nudged my prostate. John kept slowly and gently fingering my asshole for at least five minutes while I worked Jake's penis with my mouth. John murmured softly, almost tenderly, that I was a total sissy for real men, and that he couldn't wait to fuck my hot ass in a few days. The sensations and his insults made me whimper in shame, or delight, or maybe both.

As his finger began to dry out, John leaned over and spat on our union, which somehow elevated my excitement even more. Being taken at both ends while being denigrated, insulted and spit on had me teetering on the edge. Then I shot my wad into my underpants for the third time that night just as Jake dropped another load in my thirsty mouth.

==

Not a word was spoken on the drive back to my house until we arrived in my driveway. The lights were out inside, so I knew my parents were in bed already. I was grateful for this, because my pants were soaked with cum, and my shirt had several cum stains on it.

We all tried to be quiet as I prepared to get out and sneak into my house. Just before I got out of the back door, John leaned over and grabbed my chin with his right hand. He gently turned my face towards his and said very softly: "See you again tomorrow night."

Then he put his finger into my mouth.