The path wound steeply upward, a sharp line against the endless sky. Below me, a dizzying abyss opened up - beautiful and threatening at the same time. A reminder of how thin the line between control and chaos can be. Everything I saw drew me deeper into the beauty of nature, but also its inhospitable side. Good holds on the way up: rocks, edges and plateaus when I needed them. Good grip for my hands when the mountain was right in my face. Time to consider the way forward.

The memories of yesterday sent shivers down my spine. I felt the cold from the rock wall again. His hands. My heart pounded as he held me against the rock wall. The strong arms, the warm breath on my neck. The lips, soft but insistent. Taste, a little salty. Smell, feelings, something warm, human, man, warm body in cool mountain air. His hands around me, pressed against me, tightly intertwined. An explosion of sexual feelings.

Strong arms gripped me as warm breath brushed against my neck. Our eyes met and said what needed to be said. We couldn't stop, and when our lips met, I tasted sweat mixed with something unknown - maybe lust. Fingers along my back, goosebumps before they slipped into my pants. Started caressing me softly, so demanding, my cock, which was stiff, almost painfully stiff in response to him.

Our bodies almost melted together as he lowered us onto the ledge, which was just wide enough, I felt the rough stone against my back as I had him over me. But I didn't feel the pain. He slowly penetrated me, his body. I almost held my breath as he drove deeper into me, each thrust slightly stronger than the last. In a storm of emotions, I clung to him. I felt it - I longed to feel it. I gave myself completely to the moment, both physically and mentally.

The touches, the memories of yesterday grabbed hold of me as if they wouldn't let go. I felt my cock stiffen in my pants, hard, desperate for him now. I closed my eyes. For a moment I was back in the heat of him, next to him.

The heat... well, from his body, his cock, hard and insistent against my thigh. The feelings, intense, raw, physical sensations. His eyes burned into mine. I thought..., no felt, almost felt his hands roaming my body now, squeezing, groping, exploring. Feeling, no, remembering how his cock had filled me, stretched me, and I wanted more.

The memories, the sensations - of touches, tastes, smells and images that all sent shivers down my spine. An almost desperate, raw desire awoke, the intensity was, well... primal. For fuck's sake...

A sudden gust of wind tore me out of my thoughts and back to the trail, back to the present.

I had planned this week in the mountains. Alone, with space to feel a newfound freedom - a new understanding of myself. It was about him, but also about realizing that I was looking at myself and my own body in a different way. A raw, intense feeling took shape in me, physically and mentally, as if I was about to burst a shell I had no idea I was carrying.

Two days earlier, I arrived at the hotel - really more of a mountain residence - high in the valley, bathed in the afternoon sun. I strolled along the nearby trails and enjoyed the view: peaks of over two thousand meters and the deep valley below. The thought of the coming days tickled my body: the hikes, the climbing, the map that I already knew by heart. I imagined trails and contours, felt the adrenaline and childlike joy of mastering the mountain. At the bathing jetty, I stopped at the saunas, right by the ice-cold mountain water. Restless and full of expectations, I headed for the restaurant.

The hotel restaurant was a little treasure, famous for the most authentic local flavors. The menu was written in a broken dialect that I barely understood, but that made it all the more tempting. A bottle of wine sat on the table, enticing and tempting. But despite how inviting everything was - the food, the smells, the rustic room and the soft hum of voices - I couldn't quite surrender to the moment. Because I had seen him.

It seemed unreal, as if he had been pulled out of a dream I hadn't finished interpreting. The nagging anxiety refused to let go, and when our eyes met in a stolen moment, I knew I had to find answers. Answers to the questions I could no longer ignore.

I was finally at the top. The mountain landscape seemed both dangerous and beautiful at the same time, but I couldn't really enjoy it. The memories kept me trapped. My body sought support in the uneven rocks and edges - something solid in the chaos of my thoughts. The pain I felt was not from the climb. It was something deeper, a longing I could no longer ignore. It had never been just about him, but about everything I had held down for so long. He was the spark that made me realize that I needed to find my own voice in the middle of all this.

Slowly I came back to reality. I noticed the mountain people around me, completely unaware of what was going on inside me. What was happening now? I had no idea. The open mountain landscape used to bring me peace, but right now the thought of letting go - of going right over the edge - was burning. A glimpse of freedom or endless emptiness. The wind whistled around me, cold and insistent, but I knew: Not now, not like this. The mountain was not an end, but a beginning.

After a short break, I began the descent. The path was even more demanding on the way down, and both my legs and my head got a workout. The last three kilometers were steep, in some places secured with ropes and chains. I could feel the uncertainty gnawing at me - it's easy to make mistakes when you've spent all your energy. The rocks were loose and I had to pay attention to every step.

Down by the water, I suddenly saw my reflection in the smooth surface. I realized I was going somewhere, even if I didn't have all the answers. Still, it was okay. I allowed myself to feel everything that was pushing at me and realized that I no longer wanted to turn back.