Part 1: Summer Nights 1 (Japan)

I never was a brave person. It’s not my fault, it’s my mind’s; the bastard enjoys sailing through every impossibility, repeating what I can’t do, what would happen if I fail and, above all, reminding me how horrible it is to be rejected.

And what better example than my neighbor? This story is not about him, why? I never told him how I felt about him. We met since he moved here when we were both five-year-olds, we were good friends for years but with time I started to notice the incredible shade of mahogany his hair was or the delicate and frankly appetizing shape of his lips. A feast I never dared to taste and now we both have suitcases in our front doors. He was moving again and I, on the same day, was going away for two weeks on vacation.

“Have you said goodbye?” Our mother asked me and my brother when she saw our neighbors moving truck.

“We have,” I answered.

“A while ago,” my brother pointed, uninterested.

While I had been interested in our neighbor, my brother had taken an interest in his sister. There was a difference, though: my brother and she, they were boyfriend and girlfriend for almost two years. It ended up badly but at least he took a chance. My father said when my brother was born he took double the courage and left me with none when I was born.

“How odd for them to leave just now,” my father commented. “Just when we go.”

“Life is funny like that.”

I waved them goodbye but none of the neighbors saw me.

I wasn’t feeling sorry for myself, it wasn’t like that; it was just a matter of accepting who I was, but doing it wasn't easy, especially at sixteen. It was sad to see them leave, yes, but it was a day that promised a lot, this was my first trip, my first time on a plane, in another country. I didn’t feel excited on the way to the airport or while doing the suitcase, nor at the gate. It wasn’t until I was inside the plane that my nerves went through the roof.

“Afraid?” My brother teased with a stupid smile.

“Half afraid,” I replied. “Half excited.”

“Tha…” my brother had opened his mouth but, in that instant, the plane accelerated and ran through the strip. My head and body hit the back of the seat, I took my brother’s arm, squeezing him while the plane rushed through the air.

Next to us, our parents laughed. Chris, my brother, had a face like the one you’d see on a rollercoaster, mine was complete panic. Despite the ten-plus hours of travel, luckily, the landing wasn’t as bad. Partly due to the city where we landed.

There was a large sign at the airport: “Welcome to Japan”.

I couldn’t help but smile.

That was a big city, immense, giant, even New York would be jealous. Life here was very different to mine in the west: the streets were completely clean, people didn’t touch you, not even by mistake, most of them seemed to wear a white and black uniform, and the number of people was simply stupid.

What excited me the most was the food, I had even planned to buy several bento boxes to bring back. When we ate dinner that night I loved the food, my brother not so much, our parents laughed.

The hotel room, however, wasn’t as big as I had hoped.

“No hotel room in Japan is big,” my mother explained.

“No room anywhere in Japan is big,” my brother corrected.

He was right, I had noticed it too. Excluding the streets and train stations, no space was very big. The restaurants were small, stores had little hallways, and the rooms through the windows, lofts, and apartments were small. Maybe the schools or offices were different but I had no way of seeing those.

“There is always something to complain about,” my father gave me the room keycard. “Unpack, we will see you downstairs in half an hour, we don’t want to lose anything in the city. If you need something, our room is two doors, the 707, okay?”

“Okay,” I nodded.

They trusted me a little bit more. Maybe it was because I wasn’t brave and that made me unlikely to disobey them, maybe I wasn’t brave, partly, because their life was easier if one of their children wasn’t.

My brother closed the door and complained. He didn’t like sharing a room with me, it wasn’t about me, he just liked having his own space but, of course, he unleashed it on me.

“Move,” he said crashing my shoulder on his way to the bathroom.

I didn’t reply, it wasn’t a good idea.

I head the shower turning on and Chris complaining about something else. Our parents had said a half hour and, if I knew anything about my brother, it was that he didn’t take half an hour showering. Besides, if he was angry… I ordered my suitcase, I changed and went out of the room.

I thought of going to my parent’s room but the hotel took my attention. It was a monster, eighteen floors, enormous. “And yet, the rooms are tiny,” funny, I sounded like my brother.

I walked through the hallways but they were identical, in the elevator I saw a dining area on the second floor, a pool in the basement, and something that seemed like a spa on the roof. I went to the lobby.

Funny enough, most people didn’t look foreign, most of them were decidedly Japanese. Business people for sure, or at least they looked like them. I waited for ten, twenty, and thirty minutes. My brother, Chris, hadn’t come down, neither had my parents. I pictured them in our room, arguing a few hours after arriving at the country.

It was then when the story became interesting, the part that you are probably waiting for: the moment I saw him.

He came out of one of the elevators, walking decidedly, precisely, elegantly. He looked different from the rest, at least his clothes did. His jeans were black, yes, but they weren’t formal, they were tight against his legs, highlighting the discrete muscles underneath. Above, he wore a white shirt, plain, covered by a jacket in the color of sand that matched his shoes. However, his hair was what stole my attention: it wasn’t messy nor straight, it looked taken care of, soft and firm, as if he had just got down from a motorcycle, arranged in little curls that covered the top part of his eyes; it wasn’t black, it was a soft brown, the color of wood with a touch of amber.

I looked at him, stupid, dumb. Discretely too, of course, or so I thought until he looked back at me, weirded out by finding a foreign boy looking at him. I kicked myself mentally, trying to keep calm. I wasn’t able, however, because he didn’t take it as something weird, no, when he saw me he smiled, stretched his right arm, and waved at me.

His smile, his lips, and he was in the same hotel. I smiled back at him. I was starting to like this.

Let’s admit it, it’s pretty stupid to fantasize about running into a boy you saw fifteen seconds in the lobby of some hotel. Anyway, that’s what my head did for the rest of that day. And the next one and the next one.

Idiotic, isn’t it? Even my parents asked if there was something wrong with me. I told them it was nothing but the excitement of the journey and it was true, a cute boy wasn’t gonna take that away from me. Yes, I thought about him but also about how hellishly different Japanese food was, in visiting Mount Fuji, Kiyomisudera, the Torii gates, and we event went to a baseball game.

The only thing that distracted me was when I bought a package of two bento boxes to bring back home. That was what I loved the most about being in another country, knowing their culture, watch the people, go out, and learn their food. I didn’t understand how there could be people that, when going on vacation would want nothing but to stay at the hotel, on the pool, or the spa. However, every time I went back to the hotel my heart beat faster because I may run into the boy again.

“Maybe he is not staying in the hotel,” I thought for myself. “Maybe he did and that was his last day.”

It didn’t matter, I didn’t see him again and the days kept passing. Two weeks, that was how long I was staying and one had gone by, that’s when I had my first argument with my brother.

“Alexander!” I heard him yell, that never was a good sign. “You took my jacket?”

“What jacket?” I replied, uninterested.

“What jacket? The one I bought in Anibabara, the black one.”

“Akihabara,” I corrected, his eyes warned me. “No, I haven’t seen it, where did you leave it?”

“If I knew I wouldn’t be asking you, idiot. I put it in the dumpling bag you bought, you had it.”

“Wait, what? You put it with my food?”

“Yeah, I told you!”

“But I, Chris…”

“What?” His eyes landed on me like knives. “What?!”

“I threw that bag to the trash before we returned to the hotel.”

“What? My jacket was in there!”

“You didn’t tell me!”

“I did!”

“I didn’t listen, who puts clothes with food?”

“Who throws away food? Besides, where the hell did you throw it? There are no trash cans in the street!”

“I saw a cleaning truck, that’s why I seized the moment.”

Chris threw himself over me, I closed my eyes waiting for the punch. In the end, I kept waiting. As kids he would’ve hit me without doubting it, the age difference made him stronger and bigger than me. However, we were no longer ten-year-olds. When I opened my eyes, he was next to the window, it was big and didn’t open more than a few centimeters, yet, his hand was on the other side with my bento boxes between his fingers.

“Chris!” I shouted but it was in vain, before I took a step, he had already let them go. I heard the clash of the boxes, when I got to the window I saw the food all over the roof of some building, we were on the seventh floor. “Why did you do that?”

“We are even.”

I stood up and went to my parent’s room. They didn’t like either story, their faces were serious, fixed, their gestures stern and severe.

“You threw Alex’s boxes?” they asked my brother.

“He threw my jacket to the trash.”

“You never told me I had it.”

“I did!”

“Boys!” My father shut us up.

I clenched my jaw, I was angry, a lot. However, I was never going to win a fight with Chris, I knew what I had to do. “I’m sorry,” I told him. “I really didn’t hear you, I didn’t throw it away on purpose.”

“What do I need your apologies for? You owe me a new one.”

“Then you owe me two bento boxes.”

“I won’t give you a thing!”

“Boys!” intervened my mother. “Chris, your brother didn’t do it on purpose and even if he had, that’s no reason to throw away his things out the window. And you, Alex, your brother asked a favor, even I heard him, you can’t be distracted all the time. Chris, you owe him two bento boxes. Alex, you owe Chris a jacket but since it wasn’t on purpose, I’ll pay for half.”

“That’s not fair!” Chris complained.

“I already have plans for my money,” I said and I did, but spend them on Chris wasn’t part of the plan, buying something for him meant fewer bento boxes for me.

“No arguing,” cut my father. “Now go to your room, it’s almost time to sleep.”

“But…”

“Alex,” that was my last warning.

Chris and I went out of our parent’s room. The hallway was long, cold under my barefoot feet. I looked at my brother but he didn’t look back at me nor did he spoke, instead he walked to our room and closed the door.

“Idiot,” I heard him whisper.

It took me a second to realize he had locked me out. I knocked for several minutes but he didn’t open; “he must be wearing his headphones, talking to his ex” I thought, the memories of our neighbors came back to me. I sighed, defeated, on the other side of the door.

That’s when I felt a pair of eyes on me. I looked up to find him there, the lobby boy, walking in the hallway, watching me. It was quick, maybe a second or two, but he stopped for an instant, looked at me and a small, discrete smile appeared on his lips. I raised my hand and waved it at him, he returned the gesture.

My mind started playing with me, made me imagine how he would stop, walk towards me, sit next to me and be willing to listen to me complaining about my brother for hours. Wouldn’t that be perfect? Naturally, none of that happened, the boy kept walking until he banished in one of the elevators.

I set my eyes in front of me again and laid my head on the door, surrendered. A little later, I heard my brother’s voice on the other side, arguing. If there was someone he argued with more than me, it was his ex-girlfriend, our neighbor. She had moved away with her beautiful brother.

I sighed. They argued, yes, but I could tell my brother liked her. “At least he had someone,” I thought. “At least he doesn’t have to settle for watching strange boys walking in front of him.” I thought of my neighbor, his hair, his lips, how I never dared to try something, and now he was gone.

“We all want a prince,” I told myself. “But no one wants to be the prince.” I blamed the movies, they had filled our heads with fantasies. Was that the way I wanted to live my life? Like a fantasy?

“No.”

I stood up. Emptied my mind. I couldn’t think, I didn’t want to think, the thinking was my worst enemy, if I thought things I would never do them, I had to act. I started walking through the hallway to the elevator. I got down to the lobby, looked on the counter, through the main door, and even in the bathroom. Nothing.

“Keep looking,” I told myself. “Keep looking, idiot.” I went down to the pool. Nothing. I went to the restaurant and I saw him there, sitting on one of the tables, alone.

“Don’t think it, don’t think it, just do it.” I didn’t think, I didn’t think and I did it. I walked, crossed the entrance, and got to his table.

“Hey,” that was everything I was able to say. Idiot, I kicked myself mentally.

There was no answer, for a second I was afraid he might not understand my language but, after lowering his glass, he answered. “Hey.”

His accent was heavy, raw. In his eyes, there wasn’t much besides confusion, as if he was surprised of finding me there as if he hadn’t smiled at me five minutes earlier. “You are thinking,” I warned me.

“Can I sit?” That was the first thing I came up with.

He nodded but stayed quiet. His glass, his dinner, everything was partially eating, it was clear I had interrupted him. It was clear he had no idea what I was doing there.

“I’m Alex,” I added. “Alexander.”

Only then, he smiled. “Minakami,” he raised his glass again. “You are not from here.”

I tried to keep the excitement from getting to my face. “What gave it away? Was it the eyes?”

He looked at me, quiet.

“I’m sorry, it was a joke, sorry if it was bad.”

That did seem to amuse him. “Don’t worry,” he said in between laughter. “But yeah, it was a bad joke.”

The nerves won and I laughed too.

Appreciating him like that, so close, wasn’t hard. His hair was his best quality, not long, wavy, hiding the top of his eyes, it looked taken care of but also messy like he wanted to pretend he had just finished a workout, and it still looked amazing with that color of wood with a touch of amber. Underneath, his eyes shinned with a spark of curiosity, a restless mystery that invited me to drown in them. His smile, on the other hand, wasn’t perfect, it went up on one side in an adorable way, subtle and intriguing. I could feel my face blushing, little by little.

“I didn’t think you’d talk to me,” he said, suddenly.

I opened my mouth but the words didn’t come out. Minakami shared his glass of water, I gulped it down. “Ah, I thought you were going to talk to me.”

Minakami laughed again. “No, I don’t think I would’ve dared to do that.”

I felt like a fool. “I can leave.”

“No, no, I say it because one doesn’t normally speak to strangers in a hotel, besides I’m here with my father and I don’t think he would like that. In fact, he shouldn’t be long, he’s supposed to join me.”

“What?” the idea of his father suddenly appearing was bitter in my mouth. “Just now?”

“Just now,” he repeated. “Well, I don’t know when but he said he’d come.”

I stood up instinctively. The plates sang with a little clink, some eyes turned towards us. “I think it would be better if I leave before he arrives. It was fun,” I said and turned around.

“Hey!” Minakami called from the table. “Aren’t you gonna ask for my number?”

My mouth opened like an idiot. “I should?”

He seemed to like that. “This is the first time you speak with a boy like this, right?”

“Eh…” I shrugged, innocent. Minakami giggled. “God,” I whispered, his laugher was attractive, how was that possible? I stopped then. “I don’t have a signal here and my phone doesn’t work, I didn’t buy a charger. You know, the voltage.”

“Okay,” Minakami lowered his head for a moment. “Would you like if we see each other tomorrow?”

“I don’t think I can, I’m on vacation with my family, and they…”

“No, I know,” he cut me. “I saw them with you the other day, but I mean, can you get out of your room tomorrow morning?”

“How early?”

“Before the sun.”

“Of course,” even I was surprised at how fast I had agreed to that.

“Well then, see you tomorrow an hour before the sun, okay? Then we can talk a little bit more. Have you been to the hotel’s top floor?”

“The spa?”

Minakami waited a second. “Yeah, I’ll wait for you there, right by the door, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Perfect,” he gave me a smile. “Now go before my father gets here,” I nodded and walked to the door, that’s when I heard his voice again and, for a second, I feared his father had arrived, instead of that he leaned towards me, to my ear, and whispered. “Hey, I almost forgot to tell you how handsome you look.”

The air drained from my lungs, my heart stopped, my entire body froze for an instant, even my words banished. He smiled, he got the reaction he wanted.

I turned around and got out of there. When I got to my room it was still closed, I sat on the edge before looking at my feel. “Was I barefoot all this time?” What an idiot. It didn’t matter, nothing could take away the happiness in me.