"You're Steve, right?"

Steve was reaching into his hall locker when he heard the question. The voice was sort of familiar. When he pulled his head out and moved the locker door out of the way he was puzzled to find one of the co-captains of the wrestling team leaning in close, his shoulder on the locker next to Steve's. The guy looked at him as if what he had to say was really urgent.

"Yeah."

"I'm Andy."

Steve tensed and shut his locker harder and louder than he intended to.

"I know. What's up?"

"I have a question for you, but I don't have time to ask now. Can we meet after school?"

Steve stared at the guy for a couple of seconds. They had never spoken to each other before. Andy was a minor jock celebrity, so Steve knew who he was, but he had no idea why Andy would know his name, much less want to talk to him.

"Okay. What's it about?"

"Uh, I'll let you know. Can you meet me after the last bell on the east end steps?"

Steve's brain bogged down trying to understand what was going on. After an awkward pause he said, "Sure. I guess so."

"We can walk to the River Park. I kinda have something to ask you. Thanks." Andy said while looking very nervous. He rubbed the stubble on his chin with the back of his hand then turned from Steve and walked down the crowded hall.

Steve stared after him and whispered to himself, "What the fuck?!" He snapped the lock on his locker door and headed off to third period.

When Steve came out the east end doors Andy was already there with his backpack on. He looked like he had been pacing. Steve was suspicious as he came down the steps. Andy tried to smile up at him.

"Hey. Thanks for coming. Let's go this way." He motioned for Steve to follow.

Until they got to the edge of the school grounds and crossed the street, neither of them spoke or looked at each other.

Once across the street, again with a nervous smile, Andy said, "Let's head this way."

Steve didn't respond, but he followed Andy three blocks to the River Park entrance. At the gate he stopped and looked Andy in the eye.

"You've gotta tell me what's up. You don't know me so I don't have any idea what this is about."

Andy stood still with his brows were all tensed up, as if he were squinting.

"Let's go sit over there and I'll explain."

Steve didn't budge, but rather just stared at Andy.

"Are you punking me?" he asked.

"I promise I'm not. Come on, just follow me."

They went a block down the path with Steve trailing behind as if they weren't even walking together. Andy had to keep looking over his shoulder to see if Steve was still there.

At the point where the trail curved away from the river a wide grassy area opened up. Andy headed toward a single bench close to the river's edge. He took his backpack off and motioned for Steve to sit. Steve shrugged his pack off too and dropped it in the grass before stepping around the bench and sitting down. He looked up at Andy.

"Okay. So what's up?"

Andy had a bit of an Adam's apple so Steve could see him gulp before asking, "You're gay, right? I mean some folks say you are, and I was just wondering..."

Before he could say anything else, Steve stood up and bent to pick up his bag. Andy was faster and intercepted him with a firm grip on his shoulder.

"Wait! Please."

"Seriously? You're playing me, right? You bring me out here to accuse me of being gay? What the fuck is that? Are your wrestling buddies hiding around somewhere to beat me up?"

Steve made for his bag again, but Andy's hold on his shoulder was strong enough to stop him. Steve's heart beat hard and he was getting scared, but when he look at Andy's face he thought the jock was about to cry.

"Steve. Please. Hold on. I'm not going to hurt you, promise. Sit down a second will you, please?"

"Fuck no! You call me gay then ask me to sit down? You gotta be shitting me!"

There was so much adrenaline in Steve's veins he shook with both anger and fear. This jock was probably here to beat him up or, worse, shake him down and threaten to tell the whole school he was gay. He'd be harassed the rest of his senior year! That made him as mad as it scared him.

"Whoah! I am NOT messing with you and I'm not threatening you!" Andy shouted him down with the intensity that Steve had seen him use in wrestling matches. The veins in Andy's neck were bulging. His eyes looked dry and hot. The grip on Steve's shoulder became painful, and Andy shoved him down hard onto the bench.

"I am not messing with you!", he said again, quieter but with clenched teeth.

"So what the hell are you saying?"

"I..." Andy's face paled noticeably. "I, uh... There is a small rumor going around that you might be... gay."

Then he rushed to say, "Don't worry about it though! Nobody is making a big deal of it. Most people don't particularly care. It's just casual talk."

Steve couldn't say anything. He had worried sometimes that people thought he was that way. Since sophomore year he hadn't dated anyone at all, and he thought people might be thinking he was gay, and, apparently, they really were.

He looked at his feet. His knee started jittering up and down and he had to clasp his hands together to keep them from shaking also.

Andy watched him a moment then sat down beside him.

"Hey, dude, I didn't want to freak you out. I... I just wanted to ask, because..."

Now Andy looked down at the grass and started ringing his hands.

"I wanted to ask, because I was hoping..." he paused a moment, "because I was hoping that you were."

Surprise made Steve sit up and stare at Andy, who was bent over with his elbows on his knees and eyes fixed on his sneakers.

"What!? Why?"

Andy didn't say anything.

"Dude, why would you hope I was gay?"

Andy turned his head and looked at Steve. This time Steve saw that Andy actually was crying, at least his eyes were red and watery. And, suddenly, he wasn't afraid of Andy any more. Something serious was happening here, and Steve had to say something, had to answer Andy's original question.

"Uhh, I... I don't know. Maybe." He paused, "Are you?"

Andy turned his head down and looked at his balled up hands, but didn't respond. Steve saw a tear drip onto his wrist, which Andy jerked to wipe off immediately as if it were hot oil.

He stood up, facing the river. With his back to Steve he said, "I'm sorry I brought it up. Forget it." Then Andy reached for his backpack.

"Oh, fuck no!" Steve hollered and kicked Andy's pack out of his hand.

"Oh, hell no! You don't just drag me out here and start something like this then walk away."

Andy whirled on him and grabbed Steve's shirt in a fist. His face was red and his cheeks were wet. Steve felt immediately how much stronger and faster Andy was than him, even though Steve himself was actually the taller one.

Both guys glared at each other for a second before Steve gathered the nerve to knock Andy's hand away.

"Look! You started this. I don't even really know you. You bring me here and tell me the whole school thinks I'm gay. I told you I don't know, maybe... probably. What is that to you?"

Andy's red face softened into a half smile. He wiped his cheeks with the back of his hand, and laughed.

"Not the whole school. Mostly just me, really. Maybe somebody does, but I was just, just hoping you were."

Steve looked at him blankly as Andy fidgeted. A half smile flickered across his face.

"That's the most fucked up pick up line I've ever heard!"

Andy froze a second, eyes wide and still red, then he started laughing. He couldn't stop and plopped down cross-legged in the grass holding his stomach.

Steve chuckled a bit in sympathy and dropped back onto the bench. It wasn't really funny, but he laughed along as Andy rolled over in the grass holding is sides. The tension was boiling off from both of them, and Steve realized then how totally nervous Andy had been about starting this whole thing.

"Do the other guys on the team know you're gay?"

That was like pouring water on a fire. Andy calmed down, rolled onto his back in the grass with his eyes closed and chest heaving.

"Yeah. Maybe. They might. They tease each other about being gay all the time, you know, but they stopped teasing me when the season started this year. Nobody acts different in practice, but I realized lately that they don't talk or joke around with me in the locker room anymore. They don't want to hang with me so much after school either. At first, I started panicking about it, but I can't really say anybody's given me a hard time. Could be my imagination. It's just that," Andy propped up onto his elbow, picked a blade of grass, and twisted it in his fingers, "...it's been a kind of lonely year. I was hoping senior year would be more fun. You know?"

Steve said nothing for a while then replied, "Hmm."

He looked away from Andy and vaguely examining the palms of his hands.

Andy was watching him closely.

"I guess I haven't been having a lot of fun this year either," Steve said, not looking up from his hands.

"So how about we start fucking each other then?" Andy asked with a boyish smirk.

Steve coughed as if he had been punched in the stomach.

"You're joking, right?"

Andy sobered and looked him in the eye with a straight face.

"No - but if you want, we can just hang out a bit first." Then he grinned.

Suddenly, Steve felt nervous again, perhaps more so than before. He rubbed a hand though his hair with a shaky hand.

"I've never done anything with a guy before. This is fucking crazy."

"I haven't either. Not really. Just some jacking. But, hey, it's our senior year, right?"

[A minor jock and a nobody, both 18 years old in the last half of their senior year of high school, dare to explore a side of themselves that they have carefully hidden and denied. This story started as a vignette in honor of National Coming Out Day, but it kept growing. This is how it began.]