About six months after my divorce, I decided to accept the company’s long-standing offer and transfer to New York. Being a small-town guy from the Midwest, I was a little intimidated about moving to such a big city, but I felt like the change would do me good. Most of my friends had been my ex-wife’s friends first, so I was beginning to feel isolated. If some woman had come along in those six months to pique my interest, I might have stayed longer to see if the relationship might go somewhere, but no such luck.

I was familiar enough with New York to know that the hardest part of the move would be finding an affordable place to live. I moved into corporate housing, thinking I might have to stay for several weeks, but I lucked out when one of my co-workers put me onto a friend of hers with a great apartment in Brooklyn who was looking for a roommate. She said he was a great guy about my age (thirty-six), a hard-working professional but a lot of fun to be around.

“He’s gay, in case you have a problem with that,” she said.

“Just because I’m from a small town doesn’t mean I’m narrow-minded,” I said. “As long as he’s a good roommate, I don’t really care what he does in his private life.”

“Great,” she said, and gave me his email, promising to let him know of my interest

That afternoon I sent him a note.

Hi, Rob. I got your email from my co-worker, Rachel, who said you are looking for a roommate. I’d be interested, if you’re willing to live with a small-town guy who is something of a neatnik and spends too much time watching old movies.

Fifteen minutes later I got his answer.

Hi, Dave. I’m not much for old movies but I am a bit of a slob, so it’d be great to have someone pick up after me. Why don’t we get together for coffee and talk?

He’s got a sense of humor, I thought, so that’s promising.

It turned out that we worked within eight blocks of each other in Manhattan, so we agreed to meet after work that day for coffee. When it came time to describe what we were wearing so we’d recognize each other, it turned out we were wearing the same work uniform: khakis, blue dress shirt, no tie.

Well, great, my potential roommate is my twin, he wrote. At least tell me you’re wearing colorful socks.

Bright red, I replied. My one fashion indulgence is bright socks.

Shouldn’t be too hard to spot, he said. See you at six.

I left the office a little before 6 and started walking. It was a beautiful evening, and I dreaded going back later to my corporate place, which was nicely furnished but a little sterile for my taste. But with few friends so far in New York, I didn’t have a lot of options.

When I got to the coffee shop a guy I thought might be Rob was just going in. He stopped and glanced at me questioningly, so I put my hands in my pockets and pulled up my pant legs so the red socks would show.

“I’d know you anywhere,” he said, and walked over to shake hands.

My first thought was what a good-looking guy he was. Sandy blond hair, fashionably mussed, green eyes, regular features, slim build, athletic-looking, maybe a swimmer. But his best feature was a killer smile, which he flashed while looking at you in a sidelong way, like he was sizing you up.

I guess I passed the first test, because he looked around and said, “It’s too nice to sit inside. How about getting a drink over there?”

He pointed to a casual-looking place across the street with a few tables out front.

“Sure,” I said.

We crossed over and sat down.

“What’ll you have?” he asked.

“Beer,” I said. “Whatever’s on tap.”

When the waitress came he ordered two IPAs and turned to look at me.

“So,” he said. “Rachel said you’re looking for a place you can afford. That puts you in a group of, say, four million people.”

“Yeah, I’m kind of intimidated, to tell you the truth. I’ve been to New York many times but only to Manhattan, and everything I’ve looked at here is at the high end of my price range or out of it altogether. I don’t know the other boroughs at all.”

“Rents are ridiculous everywhere,” Rob said. “Most people I know have to double up to afford a decent place.”

He went on to describe the apartment and the neighborhood, and I asked questions about the proximity to the train and what the neighbors and landlord were like and so on. We finished the beers and ordered two more, and the talk flowed pretty easily.

“Now for the big issue,” he said, getting serious. “Rachel told you I’m gay, right?”

“Yep.”

“Is that a problem?”

“Nope.”

“Yep? Nope? You really are a Midwesterner.”

“Yeah, can’t help that,” I said. “But I don’t have a problem living with a gay guy if you don’t have a problem living with a straight one.”

“My last roommate was a straight guy who said the same thing,” Rob said. “But as it turned out, he did have a problem.”

“Oh?” I said.

“Yes,” he said. “For a while I had a friend -- not exactly a boyfriend, more like a friend with benefits -- who stayed over from time to time. I guess we were pretty loud in bed because the next morning the guy would be real quiet, almost like he was pouting.”

“Shocked at what he was hearing?” I asked.

“Nah, I don’t think so,” Rob said. “More like he was jealous.”

“You really think so?”

“I had the feeling sometimes he had a thing for me he couldn’t bring himself to acknowledge,” he said. “But he never made a move and I sure as hell wasn’t going to. Irony is that after he moved out, my FWB got into a more serious relationship with someone else, and I have hardly seen him since.”

“How long ago was that?”

“Couple of months.”

“And you’ve been paying the rent yourself?”

“Yes,” Rob said, “and I’m pretty much tapped out.”

There was a pause while I thought.

“I”m starving,” I said. “Should we order some food?”

“I was hoping you’d say that,” he said, flashing that killer smile. “I haven’t had anything since breakfast.”

We ordered burgers and fries and another couple of beers and had a long talk. I found myself liking him -- not in a romantic way, of course, but Rachel was right, he was fun to be around. He had a sly wit and turned out to be really up on the news, as I try to be, so we talked about a lot of things before dinner was done.

“I’ve really enjoyed this,” he said. “Why don’t you come by Saturday and look at the apartment, and if you like it you can move in whenever.”

“Great,” I said.

When the bill came I insisted on paying, overriding his objection by reminding him he was paying full rent.

“Okay,” he said, “but I’ll pay you back by making lunch when you come over.”

“Deal,” I said, and we shook hands.

Before splitting up to go our own ways we shook hands once more and again he flashed that killer smile.

“See you Saturday,” he said. “I’ll email you directions for the train.”

“Ciao.”

That was a Thursday night. A day and a half later I took the subway to Brooklyn and walked the five or six blocks to Rob’s apartment. On the way, I stopped at a liquor store to buy a six-pack.

When I got to the building he was standing out front.

“Wanted to make sure you found it okay,” he said as we shook hands.

I looked above the door.

“Dude, the numbers on the building are almost a foot high,” I said.

He looked up.

“So they are,” he said. “I never noticed.”

We laughed, and he flashed the smile again, but I got the feeling he had been really eager to see me.

We went inside. The apartment was on the second floor in the back, with big windows and wooden floors that had been redone not too long ago. The kitchen appliances were old, except for a new gas stove, and the single bathroom needed updating, but everything was clean and appeared to be in good working order. The vacant room wasn’t large but it had built-in bookshelves on the inside wall and one window overlooking a tiny back yard. The old tenant had left a large mirror, a desk and a chest of drawers, all in good condition.

“It’s great,” I said.

“Yours if you want it,” Rob said.

We went through the numbers one more time -- rent, cable, internet and so on -- and settled everything. Then we shook on it. I was pleased, and Rob clearly was, too.

“Let’s have lunch,” he said.

“Beer first,” I said.

Over lunch, we talked--a lot. Rob asked all kinds of questions about my home town, and I asked about his (he was from Vermont). He didn’t exactly ask questions about my failed marriage, but he somehow let me know he’d listen if I wanted to talk about it. So I told him about my ex-wife, that we’d met in college, got married too young, tried to have a family but stopped after two miscarriages, and how we drifted apart to the point where neither of us had much to say to each other.

Rob, in turn, told me about his first boyfriend, who had treated him badly, and his second, who he had really loved but had moved across country to take a job offer he couldn’t refuse. That was six months ago, he said, and since then he’d had a few dates and the one FWB, but nothing serious.

Before I knew it, we had gone through the six-pack. I would have liked to hang out more, I told Rob, but I had arranged to meet some co-workers for dinner that night and I needed to do a couple things beforehand.

“I need to get a bed, too,” I said.

“There’s a couple of mattress stores on the next block,” he said. “And until you get something I can set you up with a blow-up bed.”

“That would be great,” I said.

“Do you need help moving?”

“All I’ve got with me is two big suitcases and a few boxes of books. I can probably get it over here in a taxi if it’s one of those minivan types. All the rest of my stuff is in storage back home.”

“How soon do you want to move in?”

“Tomorrow okay?”

“Yep,” he said.

“You have anything planned in the afternoon?”

“Nope,” he said.

He flashed that smile again.

“Yep. Nope. You making fun of me?”

“Yes.”

“Well, okay, then,” I said.

He smiled again. When I stuck out my hand to shake he pulled me in for a hug. I realized only afterward that I’d spent most of the day with the guy and never thought once about his being gay. Meaning that he wasn’t my gay friend; he was just my friend.

The next couple of weeks were busy ones. After moving my stuff in I spent several nights shopping for a bed and getting my room in order. I put up some window shades and got the landlord to repair the broken sash on the back window overlooking the yard, so I could open in it nice weather. I spent weekends walking around the neighborhood to get my bearings, including finding a good coffee shop, and Rob took me to a couple of his favorite restaurants. I joined the Y a few blocks away so I could resume the swimming routine I’d been in back home. In no time at all, I felt at home.

After three weeks or so I realized that I hadn’t seen Rob with another guy. I wasn’t around all the time of course, but so far as I knew he hadn’t brought anyone home, and he didn’t go out much himself.

One night I asked him about it.

“I know it’s really none of my business, but you haven’t brought anyone back here.”

“No,” he said, reddening slightly.

“Why not?”

He paused.

“I didn’t want to freak you out,” he said.

“Dude, it’s YOUR apartment,” I said. “You can do whatever you like.”

“It’s yours, too, now, though. And I noticed you haven’t brought anyone home yourself.”

“I’m not seeing anyone,” I said.

“Neither am I.”

“No ...well… casual sex?”

“I could ask you the same question.”

He had me there.

“It’s just that...well, I thought…”

"That gay guys have all sorts of one-off sex?”

“Well…”

“Some do,” he said. “Not me. Not most of the time, anyway.”

“Well, I’m sorry for making assumptions,” I said. “But the point is, don’t NOT do something on my account.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” he said. Again, the smile.

The following Saturday I went to a concert with Rachel and some other co-workers, including a drop-dead gorgeous woman I had met a week or two earlier, Caitlin. She and I had been flirting off and on at work and more overtly during the show, and when I worked up the nerve after several post-concert drinks to ask her back to my place she said sure, like she was hoping I’d ask.

We ended up having quite an enjoyable fuck, and another one after that, and when she asked if she could just sleep over rather than do the Walk of Shame back to Queens I said I’d love for her to stay.

She put on an old T-shirt of mine, got back under the covers and gave me one last kiss. Then she rolled over, and in minutes she was fast asleep. I lay there looking at the ceiling, thinking things over. I liked Caitlin and certainly enjoyed having sex with her, but I wasn’t sure how far I wanted this to go.

I was just about to fall asleep myself when I heard noises in the apartment. Apparently, Rob had brought someone home, too. I heard them whispering and giggling in the hall, and after a couple of flushes of the toilet, I heard the sound of Rob’s bedroom door closing.

Within seconds I heard other sounds through the wall, muffled but unmistakable: a long sigh, some moaning, and then a loud gasp.

Whoever it was sure came in a hurry, I thought.

Then I heard some commotion -- they were switching places in bed -- then more moaning and another gasp, not so loud as the first but more drawn out, ecstatic even.

They must have traded blow jobs, I thought. And as soon as the thought took shape I realized my cock was getting stiff. I slid my hand under the covers and put my hand on it, and it felt so good having it in my hand I had to stifle a gasp of my own. It was all I could do not to start stroking then and there.

After a few moments of quiet, with my hand still on my steel-hard dick, I heard other sounds coming from Rob’s room. A bed creaking, rhythmically. Somebody was getting fucked.

It was with some surprise that I realized how turned on I was. Like most guys, I have wondered now and then to what it might be like to suck a cock, but I had never thought about two guys fucking, certainly not if I was one of them. But I couldn’t help trying to picture in my mind what was going on next door -- was Rob on top doing the fucking, or was some guy’s dick in his ass? -- and my imagination only fueled my horniness. I pictured Rob fucking some guy from behind, and felt myself getting still harder.

Jesus God, I thought. If I don’t jack off I’ll explode.

I moved the covers aside and began stroking myself slowly, listening carefully to Caitlin’s breathing. She seemed to be sound asleep, and she didn’t seem at all disturbed by the slight movements I was making, so I stroked more vigorously. In less than a minute, with the moaning sounds still coming from next door, I felt myself on the verge of coming. Stuffing the edge of the blanket in my mouth, I made one last stroke and shot a stream of cum shot onto my stomach and chest.

I froze, all but praying that Caitlin had not awakened. But she hadn’t moved, and her breathing was still regular, so I decided she had slept through the whole thing.

I reached under the bed and grabbed one of the socks I’d pulled off when I undressed. I wiped the cum off myself and tossed the sock back under the bed.

I lay there for several minutes willing my heartbeat to slow down and my breathing to return to normal. It wasn’t easy. But finally I was calm again, and I noticed there was no sound from next door.

After a few minutes, I realized I badly needed to pee. Slipping out of bed, I padded over to the door and opened it as quietly as I could. The apartment was dark, so I slipped into the hallway and tiptoed into the bathroom. I lifted the toilet seat and was just starting to pee when I heard a door open. I was reaching over to shut the bathroom door when someone stepped in and snapped on the light. Instinctively I covered my eyes with my free hand.

“Jesus, I’m sorry,” I heard Rob say.

Opening one eye a crack I saw him standing halfway in the doorway, naked. His hair was mussed and he looked a little drunk. Although my eyes were still adjusting to the light, I couldn’t help but notice his body.

Two things stood out: he was very fit, and his dick was semi-hard and glistened a little, as if it were wet.

I tore my eyes away and looked down at the stream of piss flowing into the toilet.

“I’m sorry,” he said again, quietly. “I didn’t realize you were home already.”

“No, we got here an hour or so ago,” I said.

“We? You got a girl in there?” he asked, indicating my room with a tilt of the head.

“Yes.”

“Anyone I know?”

“I don’t think so. Woman I work with, Caitlin.”

A pause.

“You have a friend here, too,” I said.

“Yeah,” he said. “Oh, did you hear us?”

“I did,” I said, shaking out the last drop. “Caitlin was asleep.”

“Oh,” he said again. I think he turned a little red.

I shook out the last few drops, flushed the toilet and stepped to the sink to wash my hands. When I glanced into the mirror I could see him, still standing in the doorway. He was looking at my backside.

Perhaps I should stop here to tell you what kind of shape I’m in: better than average, I think --  not muscular-looking, but toned from regular swimming. It’s hard to say why I thought so, but I think Rob approved of what he was seeing. I wondered if he had looked at my dick while I was peeing. I wasn’t sure how I felt about him looking me over.

When I turned to dry my hands on the towel, which hung from a rack next to the door, we were almost face-to-face. He glanced down at my chest and a surprised look came over his face.

“Dude, is that cum?”

I looked down. There was a dollop of cum just below my pec on the left side.

Before I could react he took the towel out of my hands and wiped it off. I felt my face getting hot. He flashed me the smile and handed me the towel.

“You gotta wash that,” he said, and I managed a laugh that I hoped sounded nonchalant.

We stood there for a beat or two.

“So could I pee now?” he asked.

“Oh, sure,” I said, and started to move toward the doorway.

He backed into the hallway to give me room.

“Night,” I said and stepped toward my room. As I opened the door I looked back and saw his reflection in the mirror. Although there wasn’t much light streaming into the hallway from the bathroom, he seemed to be looking at me. I was suddenly conscious again of our nakedness.

“Night,” he said, and the bathroom door closed.

I got back in bed. Caitlin still seemed heavily asleep. I lay there for some time, thinking over what had just happened.

I couldn’t get the image of Rob’s body out of my mind, and especially of his dick. I felt my own dick stir again and instinctively grasped it with one hand. Why was I having these thoughts? I told myself I’m not gay, but the more I tried to drive his image out of my mind, the more it seemed to sharpen before my eyes.

I finally fell into a troubled sleep. I dreamed at one point that I was fucking Caitlin again, and then her face changed and it was my ex-wife, and then the face blurred and I couldn’t tell who it was, and when I looked down I seemed to be fucking someone with big tits but also a cock and balls.

I awoke with a start and looked around. The room was flooded with light. Caitlin was lying on her side looking at me, a big smile on her face. She had pulled back the sheet, uncovering my massive hardon.

“That’s some nice morning wood,” she said, wrapping one hand around it. “I hate to waste it, but I gotta go.”

She moved down and gave it a quick kiss, then got up and started getting dressed.

I got up, pulled on some shorts and followed her out the door, forgetting that my morning wood hadn’t gone down yet and I was tenting my shorts.

Rob, coming out of the bathroom, glanced down and said, “Whoa!”

“Nice, huh?” Caitlin said, smiling slyly at Rob. “I’d love to help him with it but I gotta run. Maybe you can do it.”

I gave a snort, but Rob blushed hard.

“Don’t mind me,” Caitlin said, giving me a final peck on the cheek and heading for the door. “I’ll find my way out.”

In ten seconds she was gone.

Rob and stood looking at each other. Mercifully, my cock had softened enough so the tenting wasn’t so obvious.

Rob, whose face had almost returned to its normal color, finally spoke.

“Have fun last night?”

“Yes,”

“Thought so,” he said. “I saw the evidence.”

Now it was my turn to blush. I thought about him wiping the cum off my chest, and felt my dick chub up again. Why was this happening?

He turned and headed for the kitchen.

I turned the other direction and looked down the hall. Rob’s door was open. I stepped over and peeked in.

Empty. Whoever he’d been with last night was gone already.

There was a long silence while was making coffee. I broke it finally by saying, “Your friend leave early?”

“Actually he left last night, a little after you went back to bed.”

Another silence. Rob stared out the window for a bit.

“Everything okay?” I asked.

“Yeah, sure,” he said, coming back to himself.

I waited one beat before saying, “Sounded like you guys had fun.”

He shrugged.

“Just sex,” he said. “It’s better when you really like someone.”

“It was just sex with Caitlin,” I said, “but still…”

He laughed.

“Well, I guess I’m just enough of a romantic to want to love the person I’m having sex with,” he said.

For a second I saw something in his look that disconcerted me. But it quickly vanished, and he flashed the smile again.

“It’s really nice out,” he said, looking out the window. “Want to do something? Get brunch maybe?”

“I’m game,” I said. “Let’s go.”

We had a long, leisurely meal including several mimosas, and we were both feeling pretty happy when we got back to the apartment.

“Want to smoke a bowl?” Rob asked.

“Fire it up!”

We sat down on the couch and passed the pipe back and forth a few times. Neither of us said anything for a long time, just enjoying the high.  

After a few minutes, Rob got up to go to the kitchen.

“Want a glass of water?” he asked.

“Sure, thanks,” I said.

I picked up the remote and turned on the TV. Not sure what button I hit, but the DVD player turned on, too, and a disc started playing.

The video showed a guy sitting in bed, bare-chested, in what looked like a hotel room. After a couple of beats the bathroom door opened and another guy walked out, wearing a towel.

“Nope,” I heard Rob say over my shoulder. “You don’t want to see this.”

He set the two glasses down on the coffee table and reached over to grab the remote.

“What don’t you want me to see?” I teased.

At that moment the guy dropped his towel and stood naked before the guy in the bed.

“Oh,” I said.

I must have inadvertently turned on a porn video that Rob had been watching earlier and forgotten to take out of the machine.

“Not that it matters much,” I said, “but what’s the setup?”

Rob hesitated before answering.

“Two straight businessmen go to a convention and decide to try gay sex for the first time.”

“Oh,” I said again.

“We don’t have to watch it.”

I looked over. His face was beet red.

“Don’t be embarrassed,” I said. “I’m not.”

That wasn’t quite true. My voice came out strangely; my throat had suddenly gone very dry.

I took a long drink of water and looked at Rob. He was looking down at the floor, clearly uncomfortable, so I picked up the remote and turned the TV off.

“Sorry,” I said. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

A long awkward silence followed.

“I’m a little too buzzed,” he finally said. “I think I’m going to lie down for a bit.”

He drank the rest of his water and headed for his room.

I felt bad that I’d made him so uncomfortable, but I wasn’t sure what to say, so I let him go.

After a few minutes staring out the window, I felt sleepy myself, so I stretched out on the couch. For a few minutes, my thoughts wandered to what I had seen in the glimpse at the video, and I let myself imagine what might have followed. I felt myself getting a woody, but I was too sleepy and buzzed to do anything with it.

I woke up an hour or so later, feeling groggy. I got up to make coffee, and while it was brewing Rob wandered in a few minutes later.

“Mmmpff,” he said.

“Mmmpff,” I responded.

When the coffee was ready I poured two cups and we sat down at the table. We started talking about nothing in particular, and nothing more was said about the video. In a few minutes, the atmosphere seemed more or less relaxed, so I decided to say nothing about the video for now. Not sure what I would have said in any case.

A couple of days later I had a dentist’s appointment in the afternoon, and since it was a slow day the boss told me not to bother coming back to the office afterward. I got home about 3:30 and with nothing to do, decided to see if there was something to watch.

When I turned on the remote the DVD door slid open. It was empty, but it made me think of the disc that had started playing two days before. I rummaged around in the stacks of DVD cases in the entertainment center and found three that lacked labels. Opening one, I read the title printed on the disc: “Straight to Gay: A Businessman’s Story.”

I hesitated. Did I really want to watch this? If so, why? I’d never before had any interest in gay porn, but for some reason, I really wanted to see this video. Just thinking about it made my cock stiffen a bit.

I turned the TV on, popped the disc out of the case and slipped it into the player. Then I fixed myself a small bowl to smoke and sat down to watch.

As always in porn, the setup was lame: A bunch of business types, men and women, are drinking in a hotel bar after a day of convention stuff. One guy, Matt, gets a little drunk, comes on to a couple of the women, but they show no interest and leave. Meanwhile one of the other guys, Adam, is also getting drunk -- and watching Matt with something more than casual interest. Eventually, the two of them are alone.

“No luck?” Adam asks.

Matt says, “No, dammit. Why is it so hard just to get your cock sucked?”

Adam takes a big swallow of his drink, takes a deep breath and says, “Well... maybe it isn’t.”

Matt looks at him, puzzled.

“Meaning what?”

Adam pauses, then says, “Haven’t you ever thought about getting a blow job from a guy?”

Matt frowns. “No,” he says, but then, “Well, yes, but I wouldn’t do that. I’m not gay. Are you?”

“No, straight my whole life,” Adam says, a little bolder now. “But I’ve always wanted to try it. And I’ll bet you have, too, though you won’t admit it.”

Matt thinks it over for a few minutes. When he doesn’t move to leave, Adam reaches over and puts a hand on his leg.

“I don’t know,” Matt says. “I’d be pretty nervous. I’ve never done this.”

“Neither have I. I’m nervous, too. But nobody will ever know.”

Matt thinks for a bit.

“Okay,” he says. “But it’s gotta be our secret. It would be disaster for me if this ever came out.”

“For me, too,” Adam says.

They leave the bar, go upstairs and into Adam’s room.

“I’m going to get a quick shower,” he says. “Why don’t you get undressed and get in bed?”

“I need a shower, too,” Matt says. “Okay if I go first?”

“Sure.”

Matt goes in to shower and comes out with a towel wrapped around his waist. After Adam goes into the bathroom, Matt unwraps the towel and throws it on a chair. He has a nice body, and his dick, which is very long and thick, is already getting hard. He climbs into bed and arranges the covers over his lap.

This is where we had come in a couple of nights ago. But this time, when Adam emerged from the bathroom, I kept watching.

Adam steps over to the bed and drops his towel, revealing a huge cock, nine inches long, easy. It starts to rise while he is standing there.

“Wow,” Matt says. “You are big. Bigger than me.”

He pushes the covers aside and reveals his own cock, which is standing straight up in his lap.

I hit the pause button. I was breathing heavily and my pants felt painfully cramped.

I kicked off my shoes and hurriedly stripped off my pants and underwear. My cock was iron-hard. I shrugged out of my shirt and leaned back on the couch, naked. I picked up the remote and hit the play button.

The two men look at each other for a long second. Then Adam reaches out and wraps his fingers around Matt’s cock.

In the next fifteen minutes, I had two orgasms. The first time, I shot so hard that cum hit me in the forehead and on the lips, where I instinctively licked it up. I have tasted my cum before, but it never tasted this good.

The second time, I didn’t shoot as hard, but I still spilled four good spurts onto my stomach. I used my fingers to wipe up all I could and thrust them into my mouth, sucking greedily at my own thick juices.

During this time Adam has given Matt an intense blow job, and Matt has unleashed a huge stream of cum on Adam’s face. Matt has returned the favor, struggling to get Adam’s enormous cock into his throat and finally swallowing when Adam shoots his own load. After a minute or two of rest Matt is hard again --- do porn actors take Viagra? -- and trying to ram his cock into Adam’s ass.

I wasn’t too hard by now, but I kept stroking slowly and when Adam finally came in Matt’s ass I managed to dribble out one small spurt of cum, which I scooped up and ate.

The two guys lie side by side in bed for a minute, then Matt gets up and heads for the bathroom. “I need another shower,” he says.

“Wait up,” Adam says, “I’m coming with you.”

I paused the DVD again. There were still twenty minutes left but I was exhausted, not to mention sticky with cum. I put down the remote, picked up my clothes and headed for my room. Dropping my stuff I padded back to the kitchen, still naked, washed my hands, wetted a paper towel and went back to the living room. I wiped a smear of cum off the remote, put it back in its place, got the DVD out of the player and put it back in its case.

About then I heard keys in the door. Shit, Rob’s home. I put the case down and scurried into the bathroom, where I quickly turned on the shower.

When I was done I wrapped a towel around my waist and opened the door a crack. I looked out and saw Rob standing in the middle of the living room, a thoughtful expression on his face.

Fuck, I thought, he saw the DVD case out of its place. Or maybe he smelled cum; I’m sure the room reeks of it. Fuck fuck fuck.

I opened the door wider and stepped into the hallway. “Oh, hi,” I said, as naturally as I could, stopping outside my door.

“You’re home early,” Rob said.

“Yeah, went to the dentist, got home early, felt kinda skanky so I decided to shower,” I said, which was at least partly true. “Feel like going out for a drink?”

“Sure,” he said.

“I’ll be with you in five.”

“I think I might take a quick shower, too.”

It was all I could do to get back into my room without getting another boner.

We went to a little place around the corner with a courtyard in back, and ended up having burgers. I’m sure I seemed a little distracted, because the whole time we talked I was replaying scenes from the porn video in my head. I was too spent from three orgasms to get truly hard, but my dick stiffened up just enough to get uncomfortable, and Rob noticed my squirming.

“Dude, you okay? You seem jumpy.”

“Just antsy for some reason,” I said.

It was close to 9 when we got back to the apartment. Rob found something mindless on TV, which was good because I couldn’t focus on anything. My mind was a whirl of questions.

Why did I want to watch that video? Why did I enjoy it so much? Why was I so turned on by the sight of guys’ cocks? Why did I get so hot watching two guys have sex?

Am I bi? Or even gay?

It wasn’t that I had anything against gays; I was living with one, for Pete’s sake. But that didn’t mean I wanted to be gay myself. But I couldn’t help admitting that I was turned on by watching men have sex. And once I admitted that, I couldn’t help wondering about taking the next step, which was to try it myself.

Naturally, this led to thoughts of Rob. The image of his standing naked in front of me that night in the bathroom was still very fresh in my mind. He certainly was attractive physically.

Would I have sex with Rob if the opportunity arose? Would he even want to? Did he like me that way?

Geez, listen to me, I thought. Wondering if I could get it on with my male roommate.

I looked at Rob. He was looking at the TV, but in a vacant way, like he was thinking hard, too.

I thought, he told me he’d never make the first move himself. Should I? Maybe he doesn’t see me that way. Maybe it would ruin our friendship, which I really value, and make living here uncomfortable.

Finally, after nearly two hours of this self-torture, I roused myself, said goodnight to Rob and went to bed. I did not have untroubled dreams that night.

The week passed. As work was winding up Friday afternoon Caitlin stopped by my desk and asked if I wanted to hang out. I said sure, and we ended up getting just tipsy enough at happy hour for her to get kittenish and start flirting with me again. We got a pizza and then she asked if I wanted company that night.

The girl sure is aggressive, I thought, but she got me so horny with her pawing I said yes.

Rob was still out when we got back, so we had a good loud fuck, and then a quieter one, and finally both fell asleep. I was awakened sometime later by the sound of Rob moving around in the apartment, but quickly fell back asleep.

The next morning Caitlin and I were getting some breakfast when Rob walked into the kitchen. When he saw Caitlin sitting there in her panties and one of my old T-shirts, I saw a brief look of annoyance, but he quickly caught himself and greeted her nicely enough. He got a bowl of cereal and sat down with us at the table, and we chatted about nothing in particular. Rob and I did most of the talking, Caitlin looking at each of us as we spoke but not really entering into the conversation, such as it was.

After half an hour or so she got up and went into my room to get dressed.

Rob looked at me and cocked an eyebrow.

“Is this getting serious?” he asked quietly.

“I don’t think so,” I said. “It feels more like a friends-with-benefits kind of thing.”

“Good,” he said.

“Why?” I asked. “Don’t you like her?”

He was about to answer when Caitlin walked back in.

“Walk me to the subway?” she asked.

“Sure,” I said.

She waved goodbye at Rob, who waved back, and we left.

Once on the street, she turned to me with a sly smile.

“You realize your roommate’s in love with you?”

I was genuinely stunned.

“What? How? No. It couldn’t be.”

“Haven’t you noticed the way he looks at you?”

“No,” I said, truthfully. “How does he look at me?”

“Like he’s in love with you,” she said. “It’s not hard to spot if you’re not the oblivious type.”

“Am I oblivious?”

“As a rule, no,” she said. “I think you understand that with you and me, it’s just sex.”

I looked at her, grateful to have been right.

“I mean, you’re a lot of fun to be around,” she said, “but I’m not in love with you. And I don’t think you’re in love with me.”

‘No,” I said.

“Well, then, we are good. But I think something is going on between you two, even if it’s one-sided for now.”

“For now?” I asked.

“Rob seems like a good guy, even if he’s a little standoffish with me. I think that comes from jealousy, so I don’t take it personally.”

I looked at her.

“You are really something,” I said. “The most straightforward person I know.”

She laughed.

“Some people don’t like that, but I’m glad you do. And if you decide you’d rather fuck him than me, it won’t hurt my feelings.”

I started to protest, but she kissed me quickly on the cheek and bounded down the stairs into the subway.

'Straightforward' doesn’t begin to describe it, I thought, and turned for home.

I walked slowly, thinking about what Caitlin had said. Was Rob really in love with me?

I thought about his behavior over the last few days and weeks. True, he had seemed quieter recently, more withdrawn, but it hadn’t occurred to me that love might have something to do with it. Still, it seemed to me now that he hadn’t shown much interest or enthusiasm when I talked about Caitlin, although that wasn’t often in any case.

If he was in love with me, why hadn’t he said anything, given me a hint?

Then I remembered that when talking about his previous roommate, he had said he detected interest there but would never make the first move. Why not?

Maybe he was afraid he might be wrong about that other guy’s interest and was afraid to scare him off. Was he afraid of scaring me off?

If that’s the case, then I’m going to have to make the first move.

Hold on, I thought. First move? How is that even an issue? I’m not gay!

Or am I?

Let’s not kid ourselves, I thought. Perfectly straight guys don’t masturbate to gay videos.

Or do they? Maybe they do. Nothing in my sex life, including my thing with Caitlin, whatever it was,l seemed cut and dried anymore.

Maybe there’s no such thing as “perfectly straight.”

I sat down on a bench outside my apartment building, trying to think honestly.

I might as well admit it to myself: I am dying to try sex with men. But do I want to try it with Rob? If he loves me but I can’t say I love him, is it even the decent thing to do, given our friendship?

I got up and went back upstairs. Rob had cleaned up the breakfast stuff -- unusual for him -- and gone into his room and closed the door.

I decided to go for a run. When I came back, Rob was sitting on the couch reading.

“I’m going to get a shower and do a couple of errands,” I said. “Thought I might get something to grill tonight.”

He looked up, smiling.

“That sounds good,” he said. “If you buy the steaks I’ll bring the wine.”

“It’s a date,” I said, and felt myself starting to blush. I hurried into the bathroom and into the shower. When I came out he was gone.

After running some errands I stopped at the store and picked up two thick steaks, a big loaf of fresh Italian bread and stuff to make a salad. When I got back to the apartment Rob wasn’t there, so I popped open a beer and sat down to wait.

He came in about six, carrying a bag with several bottles clanking in it.

“This ought to do,” he said, pulling out three bottles of white wine and putting them in the fridge.

“I’ll get the grill going,” I said.

While I set up the little grill on our tiny little balcony, Rob opened one of the bottles, got two glasses and sat down on the couch. I lit the fire and joined him on the couch, where we smoked a small bowl and chatted about nothing in particular.

When the fire was ready I put the steaks on and Rob went to make a salad and warm the bread. Fifteen minutes later we sat down to eat.

It was a very pleasant dinner. The talk flowed easily, and when it paused now and then I felt no tension or awkwardness. What with the food, the wine and the mild buzz lingering from the dope I felt relaxed and contented, and it seemed that Rob did, too.

When dinner was done we stacked the dishes in the sink, opened another bottle and went back to the couch. We smoked another bowl.

“Want to watch something?” Rob asked.

“Not really,” I said, “Just happy to sit here and be.”

“Fine with me,” he said, and gave me the killer smile.

We looked at each other for a few seconds. Something passed between us; some spark of feeling.

I swallowed hard and slid next to him. He looked surprised.

“I’m going to kiss you now,” I said. “Please let me.”

Rob’s eyes widened, but when I leaned in and touched my lips to his, he did not resist. His lips were warm and soft, but I felt also felt a bit of his razor stubble, and smelled the barest hint of his aftershave.

I leaned back. He was still looking at me, like he was waiting for me to decide how far I wanted to take this.

Much farther, dude.

So I kissed him again, a little harder. This time he kissed back. A little thrill went through me -- that first twinge of sexual excitement you get when you really kiss another person for the first time.

The kiss continued, more passionately, and I put my hands on either side of his face. We made out like a couple of horny teenagers, and the thought that we were both men only made it more, well, exciting for me. Erotic.

I felt my cock starting to swell. I wondered if Rob’s was swelling, too.

I slowly lowered my right hand from Rob’s face and lowered it to his chest. I undid the top three or four buttons of his shirt. I had done this many times before with women, but when I slid my hand inside I felt not the soft smooth skin of a woman’s breast but the firm chest of a nicely muscled man.

I felt for the nipple and found it already erect. I gave it a slight twist and felt Rob shudder.

Breaking the kiss I looked down, watching as my fingers undid the rest of his shirt buttons. When his shirt fell open I reached for the other nipple and gave that one a slight twist, too. Rob shuddered again.

I bent down and brushed my tongue across one nipple and then the other. This time he gasped slightly.

Well, I thought, it’s now or never.

I lowered my hand again and placed it on the front of his shorts. I pressed slightly and felt something hard inside.

I raised my eyes and looked again in Rob’s face. He looked steadily back at me, and I thought there was an encouraging look in his eyes.

Without moving my hand from his lap I slid to the floor and knelt in front of him. I spread my fingers and moved them till I was grasping his cock through his shorts.

I reached up with the other hand, found the button in the waistband and undid it. I found his zipper and began lowering it. He wasn’t wearing underwear.

As the zipper came down and the fabric parted, his cock came into view.

God, it was beautiful.

It wasn’t especially long but it was very thick. The shaft was pale but the flaring head was a deep pink color, and a gleaming drop of liquid was poised at the lip of the slit.

He wasn’t totally hard yet but he was getting there fast. I looked up again, and when I saw the yearning look in Rob’s face I reached up and, for the first time in my life, wrapped my hand around another man’s cock.

I gave it a slight tug. Rob gasped, and I gave it a long, steady stroke.

“Oh, God, yes,” he said.

I let go of him and moved my hands to his hips.

“Lift up,” I said.

He pushed up with his arms and in one motion I pulled his shorts all the way down to his ankles. Lifting his feet one by one I got the shorts off completely and tossed them aside.

His cock was rock-hard now, pointing straight up from his lap. I put a hand on each leg and parted them slightly.

“I’ve never done this,” I said.

“You’ll figure it out,” he said, smiling.

I reached out with one hand and grasped the shaft of his cock. I can’t tell you how good it felt: smooth and soft on the outside but hard as steel inside, so hard that the long ridge on the underside stood out in stark relief. His balls hung loosely in their sack. He was completely shaven, which I found incredibly arousing.

I stroked him gently for a minute, watching as the bead of liquid at the tip of his cock grew steadily in size. I stroked more vigorously, and the swelling drop spilled over, dripping down into the V-shaped area beneath the head.

Reaching up with the other hand, I used my thumb to spread the liquid on the highly sensitive skin inside the V. I heard Rob draw a sharp breath..

Another drop of liquid oozed out of the slit.

I looked up at Rob. He gazed back at me expectantly.

Here goes nothing, I thought.

I bent down and licked the drop away with the tip of my tongue. Rob drew another sharp breath.

I stroked him once more, slowly but very firmly, and another big drop pearled in the slit.

This time I licked the entire head, like it was an ice cream cone, and felt Rob’s whole body shudder.

Then I opened my lips, bent a little further, and closed them again around his cock. He gave a little moan, so I slid my lips downward on the shaft until I felt the head deep inside my mouth.

“Oh, God, yes,” Rob said.

I felt him push upward a bit, and for a second I thought I might gag, so I pulled back a little to get my breath. Then I started moving again, slowly, down the shaft until more than half of it was in my mouth. Back up again, trying to caress it with my tongue.

“Oh, God, Dave,” he said. “I can’t believe this is happening.”

I started moving a little faster, up and down, sucking gently and stopping now and then to lick the head and the sides of the shaft.

I tasted something salty, a thick liquid that pooled in my mouth and started to drip through my lips and down the sides of his cock. I realized that Rob was leaking precum into my mouth. I paused to swallow, and went back to work on my first blowjob.

Blowjob, I thought. I’m giving a guy a blowjob.

I swallowed some more precum, and reached up with one hand to fondle his balls.

“Ohhh, yesss,” Rob said.

By this time I had figured out how to relax my throat a little, and I could take him more deeply. I tried going down further on each stroke.

My own cock was so hard inside my shorts it hurt. I reached down with one hand and undid the button, but I couldn’t get the zipper down with just one hand. All I could do was shift my cock a little from the outside so it wasn’t bent at such an awkward angle.

Soon I felt his legs start to tense, and his cock stiffened even further. He’s going to cum soon, I thought.

Would I let him come in my mouth?

Hell, yes I would.

By this time I was able to relax my throat enough on the downward stroke to take in the whole shaft. If he hadn’t shaved his pubic hair, my nose would have been buried in it.

He put this hands on either side of my head, wound his fingers into my hair, and started pulling me toward him.

Not yet, I thought; I want to see this.

I pulled away, letting his cock slip from between my lips. I looked up at Rob. His head was thrown back, his mouth open.

“Don’t stop,” he begged. “For God’s sake don’t stop.”

I looked down again. His cock stood straight up in his lap. It was sopping wet and nearly purple, looking like it would burst.

I took a breath and swallowed it whole.

WIth a convulsive jerk and a vast moan, he shot his load deep into my throat. Before I could swallow he shot again, and then a third time and a fourth. I swallowed twice but I could barely keep up. Cum poured out the sides of my mouth and dribbled down the shaft.

I don’t know how long it was before the shuddering in Rob’s body finally stopped, but it seemed like it took forever. When it did I looked up at him; he was still lying with his head thrown back, but as I drew away he sat up and looked at me, his eyes filled with lust.

“Stand up,” he said.

I stood. He tore my zipper open, yanked my pants down, opened his mouth and in one swift movement swallowed my cock to the root.

I was so hard and so close to cumming already that it took only a few seconds before I felt my cock swelling in his mouth. Rob felt it, too; he grasped my ass with both hands and pulled me into his mouth, deeper than I would have thought possible.

I came like a rocket, so hard I nearly doubled over. Despite my writhing, Rob kept his mouth firmly clamped on my cock, and not a drop escaped. He didn’t let me go until the last echoes of my orgasm died away.

He let me go and looked up at me, his eyes shining. I was so spent my legs shook.

“I have to sit down,” I said.

I slumped onto the couch next to Rob, our bodies touching, still breathing deeply. As soon as I did, he folded me in his arms and kissed me passionately.

I tried to kiss back but I was utterly exhausted.

“I’m sorry, I have to catch my breath,” I said.

He gave me that killer smile.

“Take all the time you need," he said. "it has been worth the wait."