"Rebeca...I want to apologise. I'm sorry I was mean to you when we were growing up."

Rebeca looked up, and into her brother's eyes. Jorge's lips were pursed, and he was looking straight at her. She could see he meant it. She looked down.

"Ok. Thanks."

There was silence, then she said, "You...damaged my confidence. With boys, especially"

"I know. I'm sorry."

Jorge looked at his sister, now a woman, now to be married. She was five-ten, with shoulder-length curly brown hair, earrings, and big, dish-like brown eyes, her most attractive feature.

It was true. He did feel guilty about having bullied her. He'd not thought beyond getting a laugh. He hoped she'd be happy as a wife; hoped she'd get her...needs met. He realised she'd been quite repressed in that regard, and that had been his fault to a large extent.

She was young-ish to be marrying at twenty-two. Deep down, he knew she was settling with the first man she felt comfortable with, jumping into marriage for security. And that was partly his fault.

Jorge had been vicious to her, there was no argument. She'd struggled with her weight and needed braces on her teeth. She'd unwisely worn her hair in a ponytail, which made her look dumpy and old when she was still not yet a woman. And her brother had led the way in teasing her, putting her down.

"Hey, Rebeca...kissed anyone yet? As if anyone would!" and, making sure her friends were in earshot, "Get thee to a nunnery, sis. They look after girls like you!"

It was endless. The put-downs, the jibes. And, like all bullying, it became a self-fulfilling prophecy. Rebeca was bullied because her self-esteem was low, and her self-esteem was low because she was bullied.

Breaking into dating was something that happened to other people. She was certainly the last to kiss a boy. No one looked at Rebeca and thought 'pretty'.

She went to a house party. She hung out with a boy she sort of liked in the back garden. He was another one who didn't have any close friends and they were at least being left alone. Sitting on the back steps, the stars falling overhead, he leaned over and pressed his lips to hers. She instinctively put her hand up to resist, hardly believing what was happening, then she relaxed, and they chewed lips for a while. They went on a few dates and kissed properly, inexpertly at first, but soon learned what to do to make nice. Her confidence grew a little and she began walking about with his hand in hand.

"How's your boyfriend, sis?" her brother sneered.

"Fine, thanks."

"You know, he's only kissing you because he can't get it anywhere else. You're the last one around. He's desperate."

"That's not true!" And they'd had a blazing fight that ended in tears.

It was, in fact, not true, but the lad was insecure too and they never progressed beyond first base, although she was desperate for him to touch her. Frustrated, Rebeca ended it. She buried herself in books and concentrated on getting into university.

Aged eighteen, it was time for college. Rebeca treated herself to a makeover. She lost the braces. She cut her hair to shoulder length. She changed her wardrobe.

But it was all cosmetic, and the old insecurities were still there. People hooked up around her and she was still just plain old Rebeca. She was plain old Rebeca because she felt like that, deep inside.

She lived in a house with four people, and one was a guy called Tomas. At his best, the guy could be smart and funny, but he was just a disaster area. He was cute...when he was sober. Whenever he was drunk, which was often, he vomited or even passed out in public. Rebeca wondered if she could tame him a little. One night, she went to the bar with him, they had a bottle of wine and she grabbed him and kissed him. Tomas was a good kisser, and they kept at it, all the way home on the bus. She pulled him into her room, and they kissed fervently, she felt him growing hard. She put her hand under his shirt, and he under hers... Was this it...

No. He wasn't the one to do it. He was drooping in bed, barely awake. She partly wanted to...but his heart wasn't in it, and neither was hers. They made out some more, turned over and went to sleep.

A week later, she went to the swimming pool and, taking a break by the side of the water, a guy came up to her. He introduced himself. His name was Marc, and he had short blonde hair. She watched him as he approached. His smile seemed genuine. His shoulders were broad, and his torso seemed...firm. He wasn't ripped but he had enough muscles that you wouldn't call him scrawny. He was tall, though.

"Hi!"

"Hi!"

"Have you tried the diving board? It's pretty cool."

She looked up uncertainly.

"Come on, I'll help you!"

As they walked up to the ladder, he introduced himself. Sophomore history. Training for a swim meet. Marc helped her with her dive technique. He placed firm hands on her shoulders and her waist as she looked down at the water from above. She touched his arm at every opportunity. She glanced discreetly at his package, bulging in his speedos. They dived three times. Then he asked her out.

They went for dinner. Then they went dancing. They laughed a lot. By nine o’clock, she knew tonight was the night. At the door of Rebeca's house, he kissed her. She looked back. Lights were on in the living room. She wanted to ask him in, but she'd have to walk him past her flatmates to her bedroom and face them the next day, perhaps even risk them overhearing her...doing it! The walk of shame!

"If you like, we could go to my place. It's just two blocks," he said, rescuing her.

Rebecca's heart was about to burst as she stammered out

"Ok."

Marc offered her a drink when they got in. She said no. He took her hand and led her into the bedroom. They lay on the bed, making out. For a moment, she lay on her back, and they looked into each other’s eyes and smiled. Marc put his hand on her hip. She put hers on his shoulder. Marc ran his fingers through her thick, curly hair. He slipped his hand under her blouse. She reached under his t-shirt, feeling his warm body. Her breast warmed as he squeezed it, massaged it really.

He was growing hard. She pulled his t-shirt up and he pulled it off. Instead of pulling hers off, he rolled her over and began to kiss her belly, rolling her t-shirt ever upwards, closer to her chest and then he hooked it over her breasts and fell on them with his mouth, kissing, nibbling, pressing firmly onto her swelling nipples. She had to push him up so she could pull the blouse over her head, and then unhook her bra, but she lost no time in lying back down and letting him carry on.

They kissed topless for a while, hands on breasts and backs and then she put hers on Marc's bottom, which was rock solid and really hot, so much so that she began to worry he wouldn't like her ass. She needn't have feared; he rolled her over and began kissing her back, kissing every inch of her spine until he came to her bottom and he kissed that too, and she impulsively fumbled at the button of her jeans, which wasn't easy, lying on her front, but she got them undone and said: "Pull them down."

He did, and Marc dived onto her panties, kissing her ass through her knickers, and the skin around them, then he was on her thighs and down, down ever down. Rebeca couldn't believe it. She couldn't believe someone was interested in her body; someone was attracted to plain old Rebeca. She half wished her brother, and all the bullies could see her now as if to say “Ha! See?”

“Look in the drawer,” said Marc. Rebeca did. There was a pack of condoms there, still wrapped in plastic. This was it! No turning back now! Her heart was racing again as she fumbled with the packet, scratching at it with her nails, and with her attention on that, she didn’t see Marc take his jeans down so when the condom was in her hand and he lay back down beside her, they were both just wearing underpants. Marc’s pants were full to bursting.

“As you can see, I’m ready when you are,” he said with a smile.

She wanted to say something cute or funny, but she was too nervous, and she immediately regretted saying, “OK.” OK? A man was about to expose his most intimate, personal parts to her for the first time, she was about to invite him to enter her and all she could say was…ok?!

Marc pulled his pants down, and Rebeca saw Marc’s cock spring out like a jack in the box. It was bigger than she’d expected. She saw Marc looking down between her legs. Then their eyes met again, and they reached for each other’s genitals and kissed, with Marc rubbing her pussy through her knickers.

They didn’t speak for a while. Rebeca took his penis in her hands, feeling its firm but squeezable texture. Marc was circumcised, to her relief, and she jerked it up and down, doing it as she could only imagine a boy would enjoy. She felt Marc reach for her vagina, and he rubbed her lips as they kissed, and he needed help, so she reached down and helped his fingers into her. Oh, it was a lovely feeling, those fingers sliding into her pussy. It encouraged her, and she had Marc pull out so she could remove her pants. Naked, she pulled his hand up and guided his fingers back inside her. Marc reached for her clitoris, and she purred. His cock was rock hard, and she sped up, tugging at it, trying to experience the three sensations at once, their tongues meeting in their mouths, her hand pumping his penis and Marc’s fingers tickling and thrusting in and out of her.

After a few minutes, Marc reached for a condom. It was time for her confession. She leaned in and whispered into his ear “It’s my first time.”

He looked surprised. “Really?”

“Yeah,” she said sadly. “I’ve never been good at this. Boys. I was a late kisser too.”

“You still want to?” he asked.

“Yes! Yes, absolutely. Let’s get that condom on.”

“Sure?”

“Yes, Jesus! I’m so late at this! I’ve been bursting to try it! Come on, let’s go!”  

Marc giggled and unwrapped the condom. Rebeca stared at his cock as he rolled it down, it was bigger than two fingers. Would it hurt?

“Let’s start on your back, ok?” Rebeca nodded eagerly. She rolled over and opened her legs. After a moment, though, she felt Marc looking at her and momentarily shyly closed them again, but then she spread them wide for him and he lowered gently towards her. The tip of his penis rubbed her opening, and it felt nice. With her left hand, she pressed the tip of his cock to her opening.  

She’d heard there would be pain when her hymen broke, but there was none. Marc’s dick slipped in comfortably and he pushed so that he was deep inside. Ah, she thought, if my time comes tomorrow, at least I did it. At least I’d die a woman.

Marc began to thrust in and out, and he was soon stimulating her clit. Rebeca wrapped her arms around his neck, and he leaned in and kissed her.

“Lift your legs up,” he said. “I can get deeper.”

Rebeca slowly did so, grabbing the backs of her thighs, and raising them as high as she could. Yes, it was true, he was thrusting further and further in, and it felt better with every thrust.

“Ah…. ah…ah!” she began to moan.

Marc stopped after a few minutes.

“You ok?” she asked.

“Fine!” he laughed. “Just thought we could try a new position.”

Giggling, she nodded eagerly. He pulled out and for Rebeca, the change was surprisingly instinctive. She knew to take to all fours without thinking about it, and she grabbed a pillow to hold and raised her ass in the air, suddenly thinking how comfortable she felt with Marc, how relaxed, and a moment later she felt him slide into her from behind, and his hands grasp her buttocks firmly.

‘Mmmm..” she couldn’t help purring with pleasure as he began to do her from behind and his penis rocked her clit. He was pushing in and out so hard and fast that, quite quickly, her first orgasm gathered and she was gasping for breath, she was almost there and then the bed began to creak and Marc moaned with pleasure behind her and somehow that did it, his groan tipped her and she burst out with a cry and came hard, and what a feeling! Like drinking a shot of whiskey, warmth spread through her where Marc’s cock was. She buried her head in the pillow, and silently thought back to her brother and those bullies “Fuck you! I’m…we’re hot together and there’s nothing you can say to take that away from me.”

Marc hadn’t finished and he was still pounding her hard and fast from behind and she felt him, yes, it was increasing in speed. He was hitting like he had passed the point at which he could stop, and his dick was throbbing, she felt it, he must be close, and she closed her eyes and began to wonder how it would feel when…deep inside her, Marc’s cock shuddered and contracted, and he shouted “Ah, si! Si, si, si!” 

Rebeca smiled to herself. Mental note: having a guy come inside you is hot!

Marc pulled out and they kissed. She rolled next to him, and he invited her to put her head on his shoulders. After some silence, she asked

“So…what’s your favourite position?”

Marc thought.

“Sixty-nine.”

“That’s when…”

“Bless you!” Marc giggled. He explained what it was. Rebeca looked down at Marc’s cock, which was showing signs of stirring to life again. Seeing she was unsure, Marc said

“Cowgirl is great too! I really get to see your body properly.”

Five minutes later, she was riding him, and as she did, she experimented with what she could do with her muscles when a man was inside her. She planted her hands on his chest and bumped up and down. She leant back on him and arched her back. She felt his dick warm her inside and he reached for her with his hands, rubbing her clit. Rebeca leaned right over, planting her breasts close to Marc’s face, and she held herself against the wall as Marc thrust harder.

“Ah, que bueno!” she gasped. In this position, she realized, she had more control of where his dick went, and she knew where it felt best and she maneuvered over and reached down to stroke his balls with one hand, bracing herself against the wall with the other…

She came again, less spectacularly, but it was an orgasm and she leant down and kissed him firmly. Rebeca at that moment felt as happy as she could remember; the long years of frustration and loneliness were falling away. It was like a weight had been removed from her shoulders. Her virginity was no longer a millstone around her neck.

She climbed off and lay on her back and invited him in again. The bed creaked and the springs squeaked, and she did too, and Marc increased his stroke, and he built up his speed and she felt him harden still further as he had before and with a tremble and a cry he came again.

They lay naked on the bed for a while.

“So. Enjoying it? Your first time?” Marc asked.

“Mmm hhmmm.” she said with a smile.

“They say you never forget it.”

“So how was yours?”

“It was…ok. I was too drunk, to be honest. Didn’t last very long. This is better.”

Rebeca smiled. Hearing that she’d outdone a previous lover was another shot in the arm for her confidence.

They took a break and showered apart. When Marc came back, he had a towel around his waist and she was under his sheet, and the moment he undressed again and exposed himself she felt the same fission of excitement. She realized that one day she’d know a man so well that his undressing would be routine, and she wouldn’t notice. But she wasn’t at that point yet.

“Let’s try…a sixty-nine. What you said before,” she said on impulse.

“Sure?”

“Yeah. It sounds…interesting. Like, a challenge. How do we start?”

  Marc told her to sit on his face.

“Won’t it be hard to breathe?”

“No, as long as you don’t put too much weight on. You don’t press weight on my nose or mouth. I’ll let you know if that happens.”

She swung round and took his cock in her hands, and it swelled. She felt Marc begin to lick her genitals, which only made him grow harder. Slowly, nervously, she bent down and put it in her mouth, wrapping her lips around the head of his penis and tickling it with her tongue. Marc’s arms were caressing her back, which was comforting, and he was certainly making her feel good. She bent lower and engorged more of his penis. She began to move her head up and down, sucking him.

“Is that good?” she asked

“Great,” he whispered.

Marc’s hands roamed over her naked buttocks, and Rebeca took his dick out of her mouth because it was so good, that she had to gasp. His tongue was moving up and down like the lines on a cardiac read-out. She went back down. Marc moaned. He kissed her passionately back there. She seized the base of his penis. He flicked his tongue across her clit, teasing it. Her hips moved up and down and he strained his neck to keep up. Marc’s member was so hard! She took it out and bent down, twisting to lick his balls, which had just been cleaned and smelt good. Marc moaned appreciatively.

“Babe?” Marc whispered.

“Yeah?” and she took a long, deep suck.

“You want to go all the way like this? Or put a condom on and have me take you?”

“Whichever”

They licked and sucked each other for what seemed like ages, and at last, Marc requested to stop and let him screw her. She gladly obliged, and soon she was on her back again and the bed was bouncing and so were her breasts, and she rubbed Marc’s ass as he moved inside her, caressing his muscles, feeling for the base of his spine. Their orgasms were simultaneous, and he lay on her breathing hard, and for a minute she held him as tight as she could to her body. She felt his penis slowly soften inside her. She felt her lungs recover and her breath return. She held him tight, savouring this longed-for intimacy. Savouring the much-missed touch of human skin on skin.   

They dated and screwed all that first year. House politics led to her taking the room next to Tomas’s, and she noticed Tomas would avert his eyes when she led Marc to bed. Tomas brought girl after girl to the flat. Often, she heard him screwing these one-night stands. And just as often, she knew he was listening as she was brought to orgasm by Marc. Some nights, though, they were both alone. Rebeca wondered if it was her Tomas was thinking of. Because he was the one on her mind.

Summer came and it was time for the holidays. Rebeca and Marc slowly drifted apart. They had a row when he couldn’t come to see her and meet her family. They split over coffee in a café, and Marc’s parting words were “I hope he makes you happy. You deserve it.”

When they met again for the second year, Tomas told her he’d been going to meetings and trying to give up the booze. He needed, above all, distraction and things to do to fill the time he’d spent drinking, as alcoholics do. So, she took him out to various evening activities around the college…anywhere but the bar. One night, they came home and, sober, and hungry, went to bed together. It was a great night; sensuous and passionate and all the better for having both wanted it so long. It was that night after they’d done it four times, lying naked in his arms, his drained member flopping over her thigh, her juices wetting the bed, she knew. She loved him.

On their wedding day, she accepted her brother’s apology. She occasionally wondered how it would have been if she’d been a confident girl and then woman. Without the years of loneliness, frustration and insecurity, how many men might she have kissed or lain with? Would she have ended up with Tomas? Well, it had worked out for the best. That night, as they made love in the wedding suite of the hotel, Tomas benefited from skills her first lover had taught her. The man who took her virginity had certainly left his Marc.