Approaching the T-intersection with its left turn signal blinking, the startled driver hit their brakes a little too hard, the traction giving out and failing to prevent the sedan from skidding on the frozen roadway at an angle into the middle of the cross street. Thankfully, no other vehicles were coming, as the driver reversed course, tires spinning and then catching again, high beams flooding the yard ahead while they evidently tried to make sure the scene was really as it appeared at first glance.

There they were! A life-sized Santa cutout stood amidst an array of reindeer, packages, and elves in the brightly-lit snowy landscape. And what to wondering eyes should appear, but two girls, one on each side, posed, one foot raised behind, leaning into Santa to give him kisses on his rosy cheeks.

The vehicle crept forward, centering the girls in the headlight beams. Lifelike girls. Live girls. And without a stitch of clothing between their tall dark boots and floppy Santa hats.

The girls were off in a flash, swiping nearby coats and bags. The driver turned right instead of left, following the girls’ flight for just a few seconds, naked boobs and butts bouncing merrily across the yard before disappearing between the houses.

The shorter girl with the smaller boobs — that was me. The taller one with the shiny black loose curls and the bigger bouncier boobs — that was Yesenia, my BFF since middle school. Scurrying through the alleyway, giggling as we zipped up our coats and clutched our backpacks, we bounded through the gate beside the apartment building at the end of the block leading to the next street over.

As soon as we jumped into Yesi’s car, we erupted in a fit of hoots and laughter, high-fiving each other, hugging, unable to resist recounting the thrill of the last two minutes.

“That was fucking insane, Kay!” Yesi’s breaths were as deep and rapid as mine.

“Yeah, we picked a good spot.” My teeth were chattering as I grabbed my mittens out of my coat pockets.

“Fuck, even though we waited so long before dropping our jackets, I’m freezing my tits off!”

“You have plenty of tits, girl. And some bounce! You sure gave whoever that was an eyeful.”

“You want to do some more?”

“Unless you’re going to chicken out because of the cold?”

“Nope, I’m good. Can’t fuck with tradition!” We laughed as she started the engine and pulled out onto the street. As we looked for a suitable spot for our next nudie scene, my mind raced. Not thirty minutes ago, Yesi had pulled up to my house, greeting my parents warmly as we informed them we’d be out for a bit looking at neighborhood Christmas lights. I’m always so happy to reconnect with Yesi — we were like peas in a pod during high school when we started this little tradition, and even though we went off to separate colleges three years before, we still spent two or three nights each winter break adding our own little creative touches, in the form of our nude bodies, to unsuspecting suburbanites’ yard decorations. This year, we had picked a snooty neighborhood where we used to trick-or-treat a decade before, where they gave out the good candy.

Our second stop was a yard with three light-up reindeer, oversized candy canes, and blinking multicolored lights lining the sidewalk. Perfect because this row backed up to the golf course and the house two doors down had no fence. We straddled the thigh-high reindeer, “riding” them quite animatedly, with towels under our tushes of course, wearing nothing but our boots and mittens. Two SUVs and a sports car drove slowly by before a big pickup truck screeched to a halt, backing up with us, the male driver yelling something as we zipped up and escaped through the golf course.

“What the fuck did you bring a carrot for?” Yesi inquired as we stripped off at our next scene.

It was particularly cold that winter, having snowed enough for the family to have built a cute snowman in their corner yard. “I’ll just have to show you,” I giggled as we saw a pair of headlights approaching.

As the car neared the intersection, I gave the large sphere of the snowman’s base a prominent carrot boner. On my hands and knees (thank goodness for thigh-high boots and mittens), I gave Frosty the blowjob of his life. A second car arrived and honked at the first, which had been stopped long enough to make us pretty sure the occupant was watching us. Did the second car not even see us?

After running back to the car to warm up a bit, we returned about ten minutes later. It was Yesenia’s turn to go down on Frosty naked while I stood in fake shock and admonishment. My coat flew open for a second or two of full frontal nudity, our show entertaining two vehicles before the woman driver of a minivan got out, sending us into flight once again.

An hour later, we had backed up and bent over to twerk on two smiling Santas, been doggied by a toy soldier, molested a Grinch, danced in a light projector pattern, and gotten fondled by naughty elves and felt up by an animatronic Mrs. Claus. All momentarily nude and in view of oncoming vehicles with planned escapes, of course. Freezing our tits and asses off, we called it a night, giggling and reminiscing about another successful episode in our holiday tradition.

Do Yesenia and I still pull such stunts? Well you might want to pay a little extra attention while you drive to and from home this holiday season, examining the decorations in your neighbors’ yards. Even though we’ve graduated and are building careers and families, we need to carve out time to maintain our special bond. You can’t fuck with tradition!