There once was a lad from Limerick
Who sported a huge and a thick dick.
He tried and he failed
But was finally hailed
When he learned how to use his big prick.

There once was a lass from Poughkeepsie
Whose fortune was told by a gypsy.
Her future it was said 
Was to give a man head,
Being gay she'd have to be tipsy.

There once was a lad from Biloxi
Who was thought of as having moxie.
He took pleasure each day
In the lasses he'd lay,
He always was clever and foxy.

There once was a lass from Keokuk
Who was driving a Dodge Rio truck.
She'd pick up each lad 
That she never had had.
With each thrust they'd give thanks for their luck.

There once was a lad from New Brunswick
Who developed a tiresome neck crick.
When he wanted to eat
Of the lasses he'd meet
He'd perform with an upside down trick.

There once was a lass from Saint Helens
Who had mammaries shaped like melons.
When the lads she would pick
Wished to give them a lick
She'd first ask if they had been felons.

There once was a lad from Waynesboro
Who was noted as being thorough.
When he plowed up a lass
With a dildo of glass
She would moan as he cleaved her furrow.

There once was a poet from Skagway
Who told awful stories each week day.
He tried to stop writing
But kept on delighting
The few that he pleasured each Sunday.