This is my confession number one.

When it happened, I was much younger – probably twenty-three years old. I always considered myself an outsider, social gatherings make me feel uneasy. I still remember my first crush in middle school. I couldn’t express any feelings or emotions to that girl in my class, the one I felt for.

I knew I had no chance; she was the outgoing “slutty” teenager that dressed more provocatively than the other and me the shy chubby nobody that no one would notice. Well, I was noticed, when they tried to pull down my pants in P.E. class again.

I barely had any sexual experience, maybe a few encounters with prostitutes by the time I was twenty-three. My fantasies and needs, the product of a larger than 1.7 GB porn collection. I still lived with my parents at the time, had dropped out of university, with no direction or perspective towards my future existence.

I always showed a certain interest in my mum’s teasing lingerie, but this was different. I can still remember the thrill of my first Amazon order. I got the hold-up stockings, the tight and short leather skirt - the kind that didn’t cover all of my butt. Together with the string and the bra, I felt so sexy. I never felt more attractive before.

I can still feel the chill at how nervous I was. The fear of someone else receiving the package but me. The fear of exposure, and that someone would find the secrets in my room. How many times did I felt the need to doublecheck if everything was properly hidden away?

I rarely took my sexy dress out. Always when I was alone. But the hidden truth was, I never felt sexier, more desirable and so “porno” than in these moments, when I was dressed up to pose Infront of my camera; for my personal alter-ego selfie gallery.

My ass looked big and round, my penis so small. I’m six-foot-three and have long legs, my tummy is flat but my chest, due to neglected workouts – has very soft male titties.

This evening was party time. I was invited to a friend’s birthday party, awkward! I knew my place, desperately holding on to the person I knew. I ended up in the stoner corner, getting high on weed and beers with the weirdos.

My walk home at 3 AM took about thirty minutes and my parents were sleeping with the doors open.

I made it through another day and as a reward, I started my favorite routine: me alone, my room - my desktop computer, my HD porn collection. Priya Rai was my absolute goddess at the time.

Besides the perfect porn on one screen, I used to have second screen that I used for chatting with strangers. The good old German erotikchat4free was my home for many years. No girls here at three in the morning, of course, but the usual people I exchanged wishes and fantasies with.

Every now and then, I gave my butt attention and stretched it wider and wider with my vibrator – later, even fresh large cucumbers gave me pleasure.

But now I was high, all dressed up and a message popped up!

He was old and very dominant. Not much small talk and he requested a location. Since he was from the same town, I gave him one – the next football field not far from my home. He confirmed to be there in less than thirty minutes and expected me to wait.

I remember that I froze, then I panicked. I think I was sweating, and I started to shake when I realized what I just did. My heart was beating like a drum, but this time I wanted to prove myself and not back out of it again.

I made the decision and sneaked out of the house again. It must have been 4:30 am by now and day was about to break.

And so, I was walking down the street of my parents' residential neighborhood in a very short leather skirt and in a bra that was only covered by a white see-through V-neck shirt.

When I reached the center of the quiet parking lot that was next to the football field, the beginning of daylight made me nervous and I feel embarrassed, scared and like a hooker in that dress.

Suddenly, I realized I was standing not far away from the windows of a three-floor apartment building close by.

I was waiting for a lifetime and nothing happened. My head was still spinning, and I was about to leave when I heard a small motorcycle. I freaked out, started to move in the shadow of a tree, wanting to take the few steps up and away. But I was noticed already, and the old man was there.

He said nothing, with his eyes he was checking me out. Suddenly, his hand reached under my skirt and he started to squeeze my balls and penis. I got hard when he smiled at me.

I must admit that this man was not attractive. He must have been in his fifties with lots of hair and unpleasant smell.

He pulled me down and I had a closer look at his cock and the amount of hair that was surrounding it. But I wanted to, and I took his dick in my mouth. It was the second time I had a cock in my mouth, and I confess, I like the feeling of it and when it gets hard. I didn’t suck him for long. Quickly, he pulled out and asked me to bend over.

At that moment I felt relieved to turn my face from him, while I was begging him to use a condom. He quickly wrapped up and I felt his dick slipping in my asshole – my butt was still lubricated by my earlier session and it felt comfortable. Every slap of his dick pounding my tight little hole made me getting harder and I started to masturbate. I couldn’t last a few seconds longer before I ejaculated hard on the stairs that I was kneeling on - facing the apartment building.

Suddenly, my stoner head cleared up and I realized what I did. I jumped up and started to walk away from him. Unfinished, he was standing there with his dick in his hand.

After a few steps I started to run, paranoid someone would see me and after a long shower, I went to bed while my mum’s alarm went off.