I feel a strange mixture of exhilaration and terror with my first step out into the wild dressed as a woman. What if I see someone I know? Highly unlikely since I'm in a large city fifty miles from my home town. What if someone clocks me and makes a vulgar remark? I express my fears to you.
"We're not breaking the law, Monique," you respond rationally.
"I know, but it just feels so different," I reply.
"Well, that's the point, isn't it?" I can't argue with that logic and shove my fears to the back of my mind.
"Just enjoy the moment," you wisely advise.
As we approach the elevator, I catch a glimpse of our reflections in a mirror at the end of the hall. "Look at us," I remark, "Aren't we gorgeous?"
"Just two girls out on the town," you respond.
"How's my walk?" I ask. "Do I resemble an ape in a dress?"
"Just relax your arms and take smaller steps," you advise. I do as you suggest and feel much more confident with you by my side. We stroll to the elevator and I notice your red nails as you depress the down button.
"I'd like to do my nails, too, some time, Jenny," I say.
"Baby steps, Monique, you'll get the chance soon."
The elevator door opens and thankfully there is nobody else in it. You press the button for the lobby and it begins to descend. I'm beginning to think we'll make it all the way without meeting anyone, but my heart skips a beat when we stop on the second floor and the doors open. A well dressed older man steps in and nods to us.
"Good evening, ladies," he says politely. We both nod and take our phones out of our purses and pretend to read on them. The door opens in the lobby and he steps aside, holding it for us.
"Ladies first," he says and we step daintily out into the lobby. As we head for the door, I can feel his eyes following us.
We pass the front desk and the young lady behind it also says, "Good evening, ladies." We nod, still glued to our phones and head out the door. Thankfully, the gentleman stops at the desk and begins talking to the clerk.
We reach my car, I unlock it and we get in. We look at each other and burst into laughter. "We did it, Jenny, we passed our first hurdle," I exclaim.
"Did you see how that guy was looking at us?" you exclaim. "I gave him an extra wiggle just for fun." We both giggle.
"We're not breaking any laws," I remind you and I turn the key to start the engine. "Where do you want to go eat?"
"How about the food court at the mall?" you respond.
"Perfect! It will be quick and we'll not have to deal with any wait staff," I say.
"Plus, we can get in some retail therapy at the same time," is your reply.
"I like the way you think, Jenny," I answer. "Are you going to use a femme voice?"
"No, just my normal one," you reply. "Nobody will care."
"OK, me, too," I say but wonder if I really will have the courage to speak to anyone. I back the car out and realize that I have never driven en femme before.
"Better be careful not to get pulled over," you warn.
"I'm not planning on breaking any laws," I quip and give you a wink. I give my full attention to my driving and we reach the mall without incident. I park in the closest space to an entrance and we exit the vehicle. The evening is warm and the light breeze feels exhilarating as it ruffles my dress and caresses my legs. We look at each other and take deep breaths.
"Let's do this!" You exclaim confidently.
"I'm with you, Jenny," I reply but my stomach is quivering with trepidation. The click of your heels on the pavement gets my mind off my fears and I walk boldly by your side. We enter the bustling mall and take out our phones.
"Just act normal," you whisper out of the side of your mouth.
"Easy for you to say," I reply. I feel the farthest from normal I have ever felt in my life. The mall is filled with busy shoppers, each engrossed in their own private world, and no one gives us a second glance as we make our way through the throng. I'm gaining confidence with every step, but being careful not to make eye contact with anyone.
We approach the food court and I whisper, "What do you feel like, Jenny?"
"A fish out of water," you reply and we stifle our laughter.
"No, what are you having?" I ask.
"An out of body experience," you quip. Our laughter becomes uncontrollable and we burst out in mirth.
"Careful, we'll blow our cover," I warn.
"I can think of something I'd rather blow," you come back with. I have to stop and cover my face to keep from roaring with laughter.
"Enough! This is serious!" I manage to get out, but we are both giggling hysterically. We take several moments to regain our composure and look around to see if anybody is paying any mind to us. Thankfully, we have attracted no attention and we proceed to the dining area.
"I'm going with the Chinese," you proclaim.
"Sounds good to me," I reply and we proceed to the serving line. The young Asian lady behind the counter takes our orders and we pay without incident.
"That was easy," I observe as we make our way to a table.
"See, nobody cares," you reply and my confidence begins to grow. We make small talk as we eat, enjoying the experience of being en femme out in the wild. We finish our meal and a sense of urgency envelops me.
"Jenny," I whisper in a panicked voice, "I've got to wee-wee!"
You stifle a grin and say, "No problem. We'll go to Penny's. The ladies' room there is much less crowded than the one here."
"But how do I..." my voice trails off.
"No problem. You enter the stall, pull down your pantyhose, have a seat and pull Mr. Dinky out of the side of your panties," you explain.
"But what if I..." again my voice trails off.
"Get excited? No problem. Just remember you're a man in a ladies' restroom in North Carolina. You're not breaking any laws."
"That should do it," I weakly reply.
We dispose of our trash and make our way through the busy crowd. Again, no one gives us a second glance as we walk confidently along. We pass a Lane Bryant store and you say, "I'd love to browse in there."
"First things first," I reply and we continue on to Penny's. We proceed to the restrooms at the back of the store and come to a halt.
"Will you come in with me?" I ask timidly.
"Of course I will. Do you want me to come into the stall and retuck you, too?" You say sarcastically.