I was eighteen and new in the boy's hostel. No one had wanted me at home. I had never known my father. I saw my mother go out with a different man almost every night ever since I was old enough to remember such things. She taught me some valuable lessons - how to be attractive, how to carry myself, how to be seductive, how to do my makeup.

She always said, "You are such a cute boy, you were meant to be a girl."

She caught me one day, dressing as a girl in front of the mirror when I was very young then laughed and said, "Wow, you look so cute baby, my baby boy is a girl."

She taught me to apply makeup, to shave my body hair, to dress seductively, to carry myself. As I grew up and became an adult, she allowed me to dress up and go out with her to discos. She loved the attention we both got.

She would kiss me and say, "Mmm, we are soul sisters."

I loved the smell, the feel of the fabric, the heels, leather - everything about being a girl. I was so glad my mother sensed my desire to be a female and encouraged me. Although it confused me whether I was male or female because I had my cock. As I would wear soft panties, it would grow to an enormous size, embarrassing me. My mom would always encourage me to have a strong self-belief and confidence in who I was.

She was a very desirable woman and when we dressed together I could see her naked; her silky long hair, her soft cheeks, her stylish face, her full lips, her broad shoulders, her amazing slim and toned body, her big breasts, her taut nipples, her washboard abs, her silky smooth thighs, her long legs. The beautiful thatch of hair between her legs. It was trimmed into a lovely landing strip. 

She was a material woman, though. Every night she wanted a lover. When I became an adult, she encouraged me to do my own thing and find my own way. So I came to Bangkok to study art, fashion and photography in a college. I had always been an artsy boy. It was painful for me to live in the boys' hostel. They were always eyeing me, teasing me, touching me, mocking me, playing with me, fingering me. Until their teasing would move me to tears. I could not share a room with another guy or live in the dorm as I would be the object of attention for all.

Then he came into my life. The man who would change everything in my life. The man who would teach me love. The man who would make me feel like the woman that I truly am. The man who would treat me like a girl, like a slut, like a princess, like a woman. All by turns, and all at the right time.

It happened quite unexpectedly one day. The boys' hostel had an open public bath area where all the boys would shower. I was the favourite for all to tease. They would surround me, whistling, making catcalls and remarks about my beautiful hairless body. They would call me girl names and lewd remarks about how I would be in bed. They would ask me to go to the girls' hostel. At other times they would openly proposition me offering me small amounts of money, making suggestions about different kinds of sex acts.

A little detail about how I felt regarding men would help here. When I went out with my mom, I loved manly men. I liked the men who came into her life, who pampered her with gifts and paid her money. I loved their looks, their wide strong jaws, their stubble, their strong muscular bodies, I loved to secretly watch them making love to my mother, and I couldn't take my eyes off their huge cocks. I imagined each one in my mind later.

Robert was just such a man. He was American, six foot four inches tall with wide shoulders, a gym fit body, hairy and with stubble. He was forty-nine, in charge of the boys' hostel and taught photography in the college. 

So this fateful day in the public bath, as the boys were teasing me and driving me to tears, I saw a big man come out from one of the showers, naked other than his Jockey underwear.

It was wet and his cock was erect; a huge size, fascinating. He came and stood next to me with his arms around my waist. I loved his intoxicating masculine smell and the feel of his strong protective arms.

He called out to the boys and challenged them to stop teasing me.

"He is mine," he said. His finger reaching my ass fondling, playing, teasing. I was naked, in the arms of this strong amazing man as the other boys watched me.

I was filled with desire and shame both at the same time. His hand was slowly exploring me, his fingers long, strong, thick, forceful. His feel was erotic, sending ripples of pleasure through me. I was in a heady state of arousal, shame and pleasure. Robert came up behind me, feeling my body through both his hands.

"Oh my god,",I wondered, "would he have sex with me there in front of everyone."

He pushed my neck down, bending me and making me ready for him, his finger exploring my ass, deeper and deeper.

I closed my eyes and felt the sensation, crying out in pain and pleasure. One of his hands was stroking my back riding me like I was a horse and the other was priming my ass, finger going deeper and deeper, increasing the pressure.

"You are mine, my girl," he said aloud, sending waves of pleasure through me, as that is what I had longed to be called by a real man.

Then I felt his thick big cock and I could sense the boys watching the scene in disbelief. I was being taken in public. He was asserting his claim on me. He owned me. His monster cock head found its way deep into my ass, priming it open, I felt like I was being split into two. He inserted it, inch by inch, deeper and deeper as my ass stretched and engulfed him, wrapped tightly around his cock. As he plunged deeper, a sharp pain shot through my mind.

"Uh! Oh," I grunted loudly, "No, no, no, don't stop!" I screamed.

He paused just for a second then started stroking my back, clawing, teasing, and scratching. He increased the pressure, slamming his thighs as his penis ripped deeper into my ass. He was now rocking in and out, his hand controlling me sending waves of pain and his cock fucking me. It went on as he rode me imperiously without any care for whoever was watching.

In between, he would just bend down to kiss me and say, "Girl, you are mine."

Then he was finished, he pulled me up, asked me to cover up. With his arms around my waist he led me out of there. I was asked to pack my clothes and belongings and move in with him. I did as I was told. The next two days - a weekend - were spent in bed with Robert. Pleasing him, serving him, being fucked by him. His kisses were passionate and romantic, mad with desire, unhurried but urgent and forceful.

The lovemaking went on for what seemed like an eternity, only to stop so that he could kiss, lick and eat my whole body. I had love bites everywhere on my body. He had fucked me numerous times. He had amazing stamina and appetite and as soon as he finished, he would be ready again. My ass was sore, my body felt tired and ravaged but also satiated. It was the most deeply satisfying sexual feeling in the world. 

Then he spelt it out - how he wanted me to be in his home, dressed as a girl. I learnt so much during those years, he helped me explore my deepest, darkest, most secret desires. Dressed in heels, lipstick, perfume and going out with him on his arm. Knowing he would get hard anytime, anywhere and then want to take me. I felt I was born to be that. It was so wonderful.

There is more to come as I intend to continue this autobiographical series. Thank you for reading.