My name is Arun and I am a forty-five-year-old single bisexual male slut. I wasn’t always this way and my gradual transition to this state of mind has required a deeper understanding of my needs and desires.  I can’t say there is one specific moment where I knew that I was a slut. Rather it’s been a gradual process of experiences, the projections of others and personal reflections.

I was born and raised in the UK. My parents arrived on British shores from India in the 1960s as economic migrants. We lived in a predominantly white working-class northern town in England where conservative family values formed the basis of many of the local traditions. 

My father was a hard-working man that focused on providing for his family and my mother was a homemaker. To all intents and purposes, I was just a normal male, with a good upbringing and education that would follow the same path as his parents and the other men in our community.

I was in my late twenties at the time, around 5ft 8in (or 170cm), and presented as a straight and conservative male then, as I do today. I guess I was gym fit, lean, and would have had a good, muscular physique. I was dating a nice girl that I’d met at university. She was attractive, caring, and satisfied me in every way. 

At this age, I was very much a dominant male with an emerging versatile side. Most of the men I met liked servicing me and many had “a thing” for Asians. Given my location, I was considered an exotic creature. I never had any issues finding men to service me.

I regarded myself as experienced having had encounters with men and women from my early adult life. I never had a bi-curious phase. I’d shed the nervousness of my younger years and was comfortable with my bisexuality albeit I was extremely discreet for social and cultural reasons. Only the men I met knew about my proclivity for cock. I tended to go for married or bisexual men like me as I felt that they had as much to lose and were a saver bet.

Sexually speaking I’d never really wanted to fuck men so didn’t considered myself as a top. Furthermore I’d never played with my own hole at any point. I had no curiosity. My own early escapades in receiving anal sex had failed dramatically as I always found it too painful and therefore derived zero pleasure. Instead, I opted for long steamy sessions of touching, kissing, sucking, and swallowing. The majority of men I met were white guys though I never had a racial preference. It was more about convenience given my catchment area.

There was one caveat with reference to my hole-istic limitations.  When I was around nineteen a guy inadvertently introduced me to rimming. I didn’t ask to be rimmed as I didn’t know what it was. When he entered my hole it felt like ecstasy. And from that day forth I was hooked. My love for being rimmed would grow to the point where I’d brazenly write “rimmers jump the queue” on my various online profiles.

I would lay on my stomach for hours and allow men to insert their tongues deep inside me. My moans provided ample feedback that I was enjoying the experience. Through the years I actively sought rimmers. Manny wanted no reciprocation. All they did was eat ass. I met men that rimmed me using slings, rim seats, and more.

Amusingly I once even Googled if there was a rimmers themed UK gay night. My hypothesis was based on the other themed nights I’d seen advertised online like bear nights, trans nights, piss nights, and more. “Why couldn’t there be a rim night,” I thought to myself. My online search revealed no results in the UK for a rim night or globally for the night matter. There’s a gap in the market for any entrepreneurs out there!

I would never talk about anal when contacting men. And anyone contacting me for anal would be ignored as they’d clearly not read my profile or reviews. It was the men that I met face to face who would bring up the subject in their excited state. I always felt obligated to allow anyone that had given me a good rimming the chance to fuck me, but only when asked. I was never going to prompt the conversation. 

I didn’t want to be viewed as a selfish lover or unappreciative given the pleasure I’d received and I wanted to be able to reciprocate in every way. The few attempts that were made would all end in failure as I’d shout, “Stop, stop, pull out, it hurts.” When this happened I always felt that the other person was disappointed and unsatisfied. I was also convinced that this was a contributing factor to why most men only met me once and if I was lucky twice.

To compensate for my limitations I’d honed my oral skills. Sucking, edging, and milking was second nature. I’d get compliments from all the recipients and had accumulated a large number of positive online testimonials. I had a gag reflex however I could manage 7 inches. I’d never met anyone with a cock larger. I’d work it vigorously, make froth, massage, deepthroat, and make slurping noises. 

I had many styles and techniques each tailored to the individual I met. I enjoyed highly verbal, visual, and messy oral. I had no inhibitions on this front as it was my number one weapon so it had to be good. And when the moment came I preferred the recipients to cum in my mouth with a little over my face. I’d open wide to reveal the volume of his deposited, swallow and open wide again. Everyone seemed to enjoy my show. I liked the visualisation of this conclusion. I never really understood why some men wanted to cum over my body. It seemed wasteful. Much of what I did was theatre as I attempted to emulate or better the dirtiest oral female pornstars that I admired and learned from.

This was the alternative lifestyle that I enjoyed in my private space and I was completely content. It was around this period that I met the pharmacist.

For the purposes of this story, I will refer to the pharmacist by the name Loz, the nickname I had given him as opposed to calling him Laurance. He was in his late fifties, around 5ft 11in (180cm). He had an average build and average looks. He was well proportioned with no overly attractive external features. 

He owned a pharmacy on the opposite side of town. I knew the area but seldom ventured there as it was a little rough. Loz was intelligent, well-mannered, with a nice family. Loz was married but admitted that he hadn’t had sex with his wife for many years. 

He explained, “I always knew there was something different about me but I didn’t know what it was. No one talked about it back then and I wasn’t going to bring up the subject.”

He married early due to family and social expectations.  “I was around thirty when the penny dropped.” By this, he meant that he acknowledged that he was sexually attracted to men.

“By that time I was all in and I was already a dad with another one on the way. I couldn’t and didn’t want to leave.” Everything Loz said made sense. Sometimes you need to make sacrifices for the things that you love.

We met via the Gaydar chat rooms and chatted for extended periods of time about a number of subjects. Loz was different from the men I’d chatted with before. He didn’t focus on sex. Our initial conversations revolved around work, friends, hobbies, and we just “shot the breeze” in a relaxed conversational style. I found him to be uncharacteristically open. We did talk about sex but it was never in a sordid way. We never had “cyber sex” as it was called back then. Loz never asked about specifics and appreciated my privacy. He complimented me on my well-written and detailed profile and told me that he was attracted to intelligent, educated guys like me.

Loz and I quickly struck up a good friendship and became regular bed fellows. We’d arrange to meet weekly and the sex was great. I’d arrive showered and fresh, and he’d have everything ready. We’d have a couple of glasses of wine supplied by Loz. Smoke a couple of joints supplied by me and enjoy one another's bodies. He was a passionate and attentive lover. I was eager to chow down on his 7-inch cock. His rimming technique was good and he complimented my oral skills. We were both happy with the arrangement.

His experience was extensive and he introduced me to aromas. I initially thought they had no effect on me. I gradually learned to appreciate the benefits as I become a raging sex maniac with each sniff.  My pharmacist would take tablets, something I didn’t partake in as my preference was for smoking recreationally.

Loz became my first regular guy. I began to appreciate the big upsides associated with meeting someone frequently. Our connection evolved as we explored our sexual histories, how we became bisexuals, our first time, and more. He was expressive and articulate, and could always find the right combination of words to illuminate his explanations, insights, and stories. Loz provided a physical, sexual, and intellectual space where I could impart the unfettered details about my bisexual side along with my deeper thoughts about my preferences. 

He evolved my thinking and helped me to access deeper layers that hitherto had been unexposed as I’d never had an intellectual sparring partner to discuss this type of subject matter before. In his own unassuming way Loz showed me that there was an alternative form of sexual expression and identity that I could claim and understand, but only if I wanted too.

A good example of this came immediately at our first meeting when Loz asked me “Your profile says you like being rimmed on all fours. Why is that important then?” I thought through the question. He didn’t ask why I liked it, but rather why it was important. I informed him that I liked the subtlety of his question and he raised his eyebrows.

I replied with, “Well in that position the guy has complete access to stroke my inner thighs, balls and my cock. It's important because I like my hole stretched. I’ve found it’s the best way to stretch me as the rimmer can use both hands. I’ve been told it’s comfortable for him as well. Plus it always feels deeper when I’m on all fours, Loz.”

Loz was a good sport and offered an additional benefit. He also liked that he could bend my cock back and reverse suck from this position. 

“Well, that’s a win-win for both of us Loz.” We laughed.

I thought my answer was complete. Loz wasn’t convinced, asking me to think through it because it aired on the side of what I liked as opposed to the importance. I returned a week later with an updated analysis, realising my initial response was wrong. 

“I’ve had a proper little think Mr. It's important because I have no visual contact or control on all fours. As I can’t see anything it kinda heightens my expectation. Each touch feels amplified Loz because I can’t see where it’s coming from or what to expect next. I mean, it could be his hands, tongue, or something else, I wouldn’t have a clue. It’s just fantastic.”

I continued, “There’s also the power dynamic of submitting myself. I guess it gives me a chance to drop my guard, discharge all my responsibilities and allow my body to be subjugated by an experienced, skilled, or masterful guy right? I’m busy being the top guy at work and having to think for others so it's nice to let go. I guess that’s why I admire and go looking for rimmers because they give me pleasure. I can let myself go and hand myself over. Plus all the dedicated rimmers I’ve met are smart guys. They seem to be different than most. I guess I’ve been lucky.” I smiled and concluded with, “Oh, just for the record I fucking love being rimmed on all fours mate.”

Loz seemed impressed by my answer, kissed my forehead, and responded with, “You're a regular little Sigmund Freud aren’t you?” I explained that I’d studied aspects of sociology, psychology, anthropology, and political sciences at university. And that I had a broad rather than deep appreciation of these subjects, though I tended not to apply the theory to myself or general life especially when it came to psychology.

Like I said, discussions with Loz were never monotone. He was an intellectual sparring partner. He could enter into a maze of sexual topics at a deeper level and always find a way out. And I needed help and facilitation at times as I worked through the challenges of Loz’s probing questions. And the rimming question is just one example!

As the weeks passed we became more relaxed in one another's company. After sex, we’d lie back, kiss and chat. This was in stark contrast to my previous meets where I’d arrive, have a quick chat, be offered a drink, go to the bedroom, undress, have sex, and leave. For me, meeting men was just about sex. Loz said that he totally understood and he’d been the same.

We didn’t have an exclusive relationship. I knew Loz was seeing other men and he’d mention things without going into the specifics unless I asked. During one session he informed me that he’d just returned from an all-expenses weekend break to London, where he paid the expenses for a guy he liked down there. I was also meeting other men but with work, my girlfriend, and knowing Loz was available I tended to search less but I still made time.

Loz had a heightened sense of security that reassured me. After a couple of months, he became aware that the staff had noticed my company car parked outside the pharmacy late into the evenings. The girls lived locally and drove past en route to various locations after work. He’d overheard them gossiping. The fact that I was the only Asian in 10 square miles was unhelpful as this wasn’t the most cosmopolitan location with forward-thinking, progressive liberal ideas. Loz quickly addressed this.

“Ladies, I know him. He’s a pharmaceutical manager that’s here to audit the shop's processes as part of a new national scheme the governments launched. He’s important. If we fail to comply he’ll place us into special measures and can even close us down like the other pharmacy that was in the paper, remember?” The women took the matter seriously, after all their livelihoods depended on it.

“He has more than one pharmacy to manage. He’s like a regional manager so he’s busy and works late a couple of nights a week. I offered him some free office space and he accepted. It might put us in his good books right?” The women nodded, impressed with Loz’s offer. And that brought a swift end to the gossiping.

To help with this guise Loz explained that I’d occasionally have to enter the shop whilst the girls were present and go around the back. Only Loz and his wife had the keys and keycode to the backroom where he dispensed the meds. The staff couldn’t enter as it was secure and strictly off-limits given that some of the drugs had a significant street value.

The plan made sense. Loz could have developed any number of alternatives however my ethnicity worked to our advantage in this scenario because Asians are known to work in the medical profession. The staff bought it hook, line, and sinker including Loz’s wife.

“Loz that’s ingenious, bravo. Now tell me about my salary expectations and promotional prospects in this role. And are different floor plans available for my office?” Loz enjoyed my sense of humour and laughed loudly.

Loz was the one and only pharmacist at the practice. His staff worked on the checkouts, stacked the shelves, and cashed up, so there was never any danger that anyone would suddenly ask an informed question about my role. I would enter the shop carrying my laptop bag, say hello and Loz would guide me to the back of the pharmacy. I’d take out my laptop, place it on the desk and that was it. On occasions where I remained in the car, Loz would explain that I was probably on a conference call if anyone asked.

In Loz I had found a true companion and friend. He’d demonstrated that I could trust him. He had my best interests at heart. I openly shared my thoughts, feelings, and aspirations about sex with men for the first time. He provided an environment where I could be honest without fear of any judgments, reprisals, or rejections. My connection with Loz was one of mutual respect. I respected his intellect, his work ethic, and thoughtfulness. It was after this initial two - three month period that we started to explore more.

Our meets were always planned with military precision to ensure we maximise our time. Like me, Loz preferred unhurried meets and didn’t like placing a time limit on things. He’d closed the pharmacy around 17:00 and then did the books, stock take and said goodbye to the staff. I would arrive around 18:30 once the staff left or entered the shop. I’d know the precise arrangements when I called him from outside.

On this occasion, Loz asked me to wait until the staff exited. I realised why as I watched his wife climb into her BMW 7 series and drive away. A couple of the girls walked past me and waved as I pretended to be on the phone.

I entered the pharmacy via a side door that would already be open but I had to ensure that it was locked behind me.  Loz always came down to check just in case I made any mistakes. The side door led directly to a narrow dimly lit flight of stairs. At the top of the stairs was a corridor with 3 doors on the left spread evenly at 3 metre intervals with a final door at the end of the corridor. 

When we first met Loz explained the following. “Arun I use the rooms above the pharmacy as storage and an office, and I also have a bedroom here as I stay overnight when things are busy and I need to work late”. The bedroom was mostly used as his den of iniquity, though I’m sure on the rarest of occasions it was used for its stated purpose. 

The door at the end of the corridor was our playpen.  It was similar to a spacious hotel room with a three-seater sofa, TV, desk, coffee table, and a single bed. The room was well maintained, modern, clean, and smelt fresh.

“So Arun, how have you been this past week?”

“Good thanks Loz. Work was busy today. I thought I was going to have to cancel tonight but thankfully everything landed.”

Loz raised eyebrows and his eyes widened. “Thank god for that. I’ve been thinking about you all week.”

“Likewise. I had my girlfriend hassling me for sex last night but I wanted to save myself for you Mr.”

“Aww, thanks Arun”

“You should be thanking her. She was happy being licked and fingering for a change”

“Didn’t she ask why?”

“I just told her I was tired and needed to be up early. Plus I fucked her good the night before so she had no complaints.”

Loz pecked me on the cheek and said, “I’m going for a shower, feel free to join me.”  He always asked and I always declined. I ensured that I’d arrive showered and smelling fresh. On this occasion, I threw caution to the wind and accepted. Loz acknowledged this with a huge smile.

Like all the rooms, the bathroom was large with plenty of room for both of us. Loz was already in the shower with foam all over his body. I quickly undressed and joined him. We kissed and slowly rubbed the gel over one another's backs, legs and cocks. I quivered as Loz showered me down. The hot water hitting my back felt soothing.

Loz reached for more shower gel whilst turning me around so my back was facing him. I spread my arms across the wall. He slowly rubbed the gel on my ass cheeks then gently spread my legs so he could reach between my legs to apply more gel to my balls and cock, and then moved his hand back to focus on my hole. He applied more gel gently massaging my hole. His finger slid inside without the need to apply any force.

“How does that feel, Arun?”

“It’s fine, Loz but don’t insert anymore”

“Let’s try just one more. If it doesn’t feel right I’ll stop.”

I nodded and gave Loz the go-ahead, “I’ll be gentle, promise.”

Loz managed to partially insert another finger with patience and caution. It took about 15 seconds before the pain returned and as promised he removed both fingers. At that point, I assumed we’d dry ourselves and head back to the bedroom for a drink, catch up and play with one another. Instead, Loz unscrewed the shower head from the hose and removed the rubber seal.

“What are you doing?” I asked with the perplexed look on my face.

“I’m going to show you how to douche Arun.”

“Douch’er what?” My perplexed look remained.

“Douche Arun. I’ve gathered that you don’t know what douching is. I thought I’d show you. It’s perfectly normal and good hygiene, not that you need it but it might help in other ways. Trust me, I’m a pharmacist.” Loz let out a chuckle and gave the following explanation.

“I’m going to lower the water pressure, press the hose against your hole and the water will run inside your ass. You’ll know when it's time to stop so make sure you do”.

“How will I know?” I inquired

“Whitney Houston, nice!” I also enjoyed Loz’s sense of humour and laughed.

“You’ll know, trust me. I can’t explain it. Hold the water in for around 30 seconds so squeeze and hold your ass in tight. Then pop over to the toilet and push out. Oh, and make sure you squeeze tight as we don’t want any accidents en route okay?  You can repeat it a few times until you feel cleansed. I’ll leave you to it. It's a one-man job. Give me a shout if you need anything.”

Loz pecked me on the face, pressed the hose against my hole, guided my hand to take over, and left. I felt the water pouring inside me and removed the hose after about 5 seconds. I touched my stomach and couldn’t feel anything. I followed his instructions. It was an odd feeling with no arousal. The first attempt worked as described.

On my second attempt, I used more shower gel and pressed the hose firmly against my hole. The water sprayed everywhere and very little went inside me. I decided to crouch down. This method was easier and less finicky. I applied more shower gel and the hose accidentally slid inside but it was no biggie as it was narrow and had the girth of a medium-sized finger. 

In this position, all of the water poured inside me. Pushing the water out felt nicer the second time round. A strong stream burst out as I inhaled and pushed. I lit a cigarette, felt an instant bowel movement, and out flooded the remainder. I was surprised. I hadn’t realised that there was so much water left inside, it was deceptive. Attempt number two was far more successful.

I’m not sure why I did the following action, perhaps it was curiosity? I felt an urge to reach down and touch my hole. I immediately noticed that it was more open. I could feel something inside. It was soft and spongy tissue. It felt like my insides had moved forward or to the surface. I prodded inquisitively at this new found flesh.

I could now easily insert a finger with plenty of room to spare. This prompted me to try another finger as more water flowed out and washed over my fingers. I sat on the toilet with my right hand between my legs investigating my hole and my left hand holding a cigarette with the occasional sound of water hitting the bowl as another reservoir opened. “God, if people could see me now, I’d never live it down. I’d have to go into hiding,” I thought to myself.

I attempted to insert a third finger and my hole closed rapidly. The pain returned so I withdrew. This unplanned experiment was interesting in terms of my anal expansion however it proved inconclusive given it was a sample size of one. The real benefit was that my hole was the cleanest it had ever been, as demonstrated when I examined my fingers and concluded there was no residue, smell, or taste. I returned to the bedroom.

“Thanks for that Loz. You learn something new every day.” 

“You're welcome Arun. How are you feeling?”

“Good thanks, I did it three-four times and I’m feeling relaxed and super clean, Loz”

“Well that's the aim,” he replied.

“What’s it called again?”

“The verb is douching, spelt D O U C H I N G or the noun is to douche spelt D O U C H E.” Loz took his time spelling it out as though I was some type of neanderthal.

“Cool, I’ll be trying that again. It’s a new weapon in my arsenal,” Loz smiled happily.

I pecked Loz on the lips and headed back to the bathroom. Standing up and walking had identified another reservoir that needed to be released.  When I returned Loz was burning incense and had poured the wine.

“Are you gonna roll a joint, Arun?”

I gave him a questioning look. “Of course. I’ve picked up some new stuff today so it's fresh and we’ll get a good buzz.”

“Nice, you’ll have to show me how to roll a joint. I’d like to learn.”

“Sure thing Loz. But you’ll need a dealer and in your line of work that’s not a good look.”

Our discussion continued. We chatted about work, current affairs, and our recent sexual endeavours.

Loz kicked off, “So have you met anyone recently?”

“Nah, work was busy. I was attempting to arrange something with a guy off Gaydar but he turned out to be a dodgy fucker so decided to leave. The weirdo’s been constantly mailing calling me a stupid paki and a timewaster. My other guy, the married one, has gone AWOL. I’m not having much luck.” 

Loz shook his head. ”Oh, one of those types. Dodgy, How?”

I elaborated further. “The type that asks twenty questions yet can’t share anything about himself. He asked me where I live, how many guys I’ve been with, what’s the dirtiest thing I’ve done, do I meet outdoors, do I swallow, do my friends & family know. I closed him down by asking if he wanted to meet for a drink and he said that he couldn’t because no one knew.”

Loz shook his head a second time. “Been there, got the t-shirt.”

I continued, “I don’t understand why some of these idiots have a problem with meeting in public. Two men meeting for a drink isn’t exactly groundbreaking right? It’s not like I was gonna try to blow him off in the middle of the pub. Or act all camp and girly like some crazed attention seeker. These fuck wits live in the 1950s.”

“Arun, some men aren’t secure about themselves, don’t overthink it. It’s good that you stopped. Plus he’s a racist.”

“Yeah, fuck that. I can’t believe I suckered into that bollocks.” I shook my head.

“Completely Arun. It doesn’t seem like you. You must have been extra horny on that day. Anyway, c'est la vie.”

“Yeah, shame. And he had a nice looking cock.” I looked at Loz and smiled. We both laughed and saw the amusing side of my sad story.

Loz left the room to get his briefcase and some other items that he placed near his desk.

“What about you Loz, had any fun?”

“I met a regular guy I used to see in Manchester, the one I told you about a few weeks back. I’ve not met him in a long while but he got in contact. I was down that way meeting a supplier”.

I wanted more. “How did that go, share the sordid details, don’t be shy Lozy!”

“There’s nothing much to say really as we only met for a drink. He’s still married and has another baby on the way. He was complaining about not getting as many meets now his wife is expecting because he can’t get away as much. He’s started wearing women’s underwear. He said it's a phase but I doubt that. He seemed happy enough sitting at the bar wearing stockings, knickers, and a bra under his work clothes.”

“Far out, you do know some interesting characters. Are you into that type of thing?” I asked.

“Kind of, but only if the other person is interested. You can’t force your preferences on to someone who isn’t turned on by them, right?” I nodded in agreement. I had plenty of recent experiences of forceful men insisting that they could cure my anal problems with their cocks. My inbox was flooded with this type of garbage.

“True. Do you know where he got his stuff from?”

Loz looked at me a little surprised. “I didn’t ask. I imagine his wife or he just brought it from wherever. It’s not like anyone asks who you're buying it for. They assume it’s for a girlfriend or wife. Would you wear that type of stuff? Have you ever thought about it?”

“Not really. I’ve seen the cross dressers on Gaydar. Some of those trans girls are super hot. There’s no harm in it, each to their own.” 

“When you say there’s no harm in it, do you mean that you wouldn’t try it or it turns you off?” Loz was pushing for a more precise answer.

“Well, I can’t say either way as I haven’t tried it.” I paused to think. “It’s just a bit embarrassing, isn’t it? I can’t see why wearing lingerie would matter either way. It’s only clothes” 

Loz responded in his usual disarming style, “I guess embarrassment depends on the company you're in. So you’re willing to try it?”

“Yeah, I guess. In mean, if it turns you on and gives you a stiffer boner then it gets my vote Mr.”

We both laughed and Loz leaned over to kiss me on the cheek.

“You know we have some stuff downstairs in the shop. We can pop down and get some Arun.”

Loz was right. I had nothing to be embarrassed about in front of him and it was only a bit of fun. We walked downstairs to a small section of the pharmacy where the female underwear was located. I had no particular preferences nor did I have any understanding of sizes. I decided to delegate the task to Loz.

“Do you have a preference for colours Arun?”

I shrugged my shoulders. “Not really, it’s more your thing. What about you?” 

Loz held up the bra against my face and shoulder. “With your light brown skin this orangey colour will look nice and we have it in your size.”

“Cool, that’ll do nicely then. They look a little small don’t they Loz?”

“They’re not too small. Trust me. I’ll get you some black holdups as well. The colours won’t match but you’ll look nice.” Loz went into the storeroom.

It's worth reiterating that whilst I wasn’t turned on, though the idea was of interest to me, if only because I knew it was something that Loz liked. We gathered the items and returned to our playpen. I removed what little I was wearing following the shower and started to dress.

Loz watched whilst I struggled with the holdups but with some careful manoeuvring I completed the task. They had a net-type finish with a thick black elasticated band which held securely to the tops of my thighs. I immediately liked the holdups, noticing that they revealed my skin whilst obscuring my leg hair. My legs felt smoother as a result.

The knickers presented no problems with my 2-inch soft cock nestled comfortably but I sensed it would slip out if not managed. The bra was an entirely different proposition and a conundrum that I failed to solve. Loz finally did the gentlemanly thing and helped with the clasps.

“That’s not too tight Arun?”

“I don’t think so, it feels fine at the moment.”

After a little clearing up and remodelling of the furniture Loz and I sat for a smoke and a drink.

“Well, thoughts?” I asked.

“You look amazing, Arun”

“Really? You’re not having one of your psychedelic episodes are you Loz?”

“Haha, no trust me you look amazing. Go check yourself in the bathroom mirror.”

I stared at myself for two to three minutes. I guess I looked okay. I realised that my stance and form wasn’t right. I appreciated that men and women stood differently as I’d watched my girlfriends dress and observed how they’d pose in front of the mirror.

I decided to arch my back, push my ass out slightly and breathe in. That was better. In another pose, I placed my hands on my hips and pushed my hips to the left. My narrow male body appeared more shapely.  I tried a few more poses for reference material and decided I looked fine. I felt kinda comfortable.

“So what do you think?” Loz was getting restless and wanted answers.

“Erm, yeah it's fine. It feels more comfortable than I imagined. It's a quite soft material. It feels like I’m not wearing any holdups and knickers aren’t too small.”

“I got you this red lipstick from downstairs Arun. Would you mind putting that on?”

“No probs. Nice idea”.

Loz smiled and I gave him a wink. The red lipstick interested me immediately. I liked the idea of my lips being more prominent or visibly fuller. And red was the perfect colour. It reminded me of female pornstars. This was my third or fourth trip back to the bathroom. I applied the lipstick expertly. I knew to take some tissue paper to blot my lips afterwards. Again, I had my girlfriends to thank for this insider knowledge.

I arrived back to the room with an extremely happy Loz looking towards me.

“Lovely Arun, check you out!”

“Thanks, Loz.”

“Really you look fantastic.”

“Okay, now stop. You're going to make me feel self-conscious. Let's smoke and drink. With this dressing and lipstick stuff you’re running late.” Loz looked a little disappointed that I rejected a lengthy discussion about the clothes. I think he sensed that I wasn’t 100% comfortable.

“We’re not running late. We have all the time we need. I’m in no rush this evening.” Loz’s reassurance put me at ease that our game time wouldn’t be impacted due to the delayed start.

The joint I rolled left me feeling relaxed whilst fully cognisant. I noticed the red lipstick on the butt. The lipstick also had a slight fragrance to it that I liked. Loz was an expert conversationalist and would calmly steer the discussion from topic to topic. We both shared interests in current affairs so we’d normally discuss the politics and the social issues at the time, breaking the discussion to do random things.

“Come and stand over here Arun and pop your foot on the stool.” This gave my body a different form that Loz praised. “Lovely babes.”

He then gently ran his hands across my holdups and felt my ass and crotch through the knickers. Next, he ran his hands up my stomach. Loz’s movements were slow, soft, gentle. Loz’s hands hovered micrometres above my skin allowing only the slightest of touches. He then ran his finger across my back with a particular focus on where the bra strap met my skin and then moved on to the shoulder straps. My head tilted and my body wriggled uncontrollably. The feeling was electric and one that I’d experienced before but never in this way.

“How does that feel, Arun?”

“Ohh Loz, you know it’s awesome.”

“Good girl,” he replied.

“Yes babes, it’s so good. It feels different. What are you doing to me today, it feels awesome!?” I seldom gave compliments but Loz deserved it.

“Well the only thing that’s different is the outfit, so I guess what you wear does matter, hey?” 

I nodded. “I guess if you put it like that.”

And with that little episode of feeling my erogenous zones through the lingerie I was sent back to roll another joint and pour some wine. Before leaving I gave him a firm kiss on the cheek and pressed down hard on his face for 3 seconds. I wanted to leave the impression of my red lips on him like you see in the films.

“Steady, that was a little hard Arun.”

“Don’t complain,” I replied. “You’re now the proud owner of Arun-shaped lipstick marks on your face. I’d wear that like a badge of honour if I were you. It’s my first ever personalised tattoo.”

I flicked Loz's nose and he laughed agreeably, taking the opportunity to look at his reflection in the window.

“Well, it's certainly different from the norm today.” 

“They say variety is the spice of life Loz. Here, take the joint.”

“Thanks. Do you fancy a pill?” Loz always offered.

“No thanks, you know I’m not into popping pills. Actually, what is it anyway?”

“There’s nothing to be cautious about. I take them. If anything were to happen to you then there’d be some serious criminal charges brought against me. And I’m not stupid enough to give you something that would harm you now, would I?”

“Actually Loz, my question was about what the pills are, not about the legal process or your liability in the event that I’m harmed.”

This comment was accompanied with a wink that Loz took in the correct spirit and he responded back with a friendly snarl.

Loz explained, “It's a relaxant or more specifically a form of Valium. It helps to relax the muscles. I take 2 or 3 when we meet depending on my mood.”

“Can you get addicted?”

“Of course Arun, that’s why it’s prescription only. It’s harmless when used occasionally, especially given the doses we’re taking.”

I responded positively. “Okay, give me a couple. I might as well give your magic pills a whirl. They seem to help you. I hope you have plenty of insurance because if anything happens to me, I’m coming for your ass.” Loz laughed.

The evening moved on. Loz had been sitting beside me for twenty minutes. His hand gently stroked my inner thigh as I cupped his crotch. We chatted with the occasional peck on my cheek or neck. I was floating on a cloud of skunk, wine, and now Valium completely at home in my surroundings, safe and secure in Loz’s company.

Loz reached over and placed his hand on my face and our heads leaned in. We rubbed noses and pressed our lips together. His tongue wrapped around mine in a deep exchange and in the most seamless way. We were in complete synchronisation managing to french kiss for what seemed like an eternity without ever breaking our union or needing air. I sucked his tongue and lurched in for more. We kissed passionately, exploring all the crevices. We salivated. I was now very familiar with the taste of our combined fluids and looked forward to this moment before our meeting. It aroused me more. He was one of the best kissers I’d been with, male or female.

My leg was now wrapped over Loz and my hands clung to his back as our bodies entwined with multiple points of connection. Loz stroked my leg and reached into my knickers to feel my ass. My mouth reached his ear and I rolled my tongue inside. Loz struggled with the pleasure but allowed me to continue. He adored this. I moved down kissing his neck and biting down with my teeth. We both sighed. I could feel his breath on my face. It was ethereal. I’d entered a higher plane.

“It’s so good to see you, Loz.”

“Likewise babes.”

The story continues in part 2.