Somehow, the topic of blowjobs had come up.

It was just the four of us drinking in my friends' college apartment living room. Normally, a friday night would have had us out crashing one of the local frat parties or else hitting up our other friends, but for whatever reason, frat row was silent that night and many of our other friends were studying abroad, busy with clubs, or sleeping early for the weekends' tournament. I don't remember waht exactly the case was that weekend, but it was probably some combination of those factors.

This would happen to me, Sean, Kyle, and Ryan from time to time and it was fine. We were the close-knit inner circle of our friend group and enjoyed just passing the time with one another and a few beers.

This had the side affect of inducing Ryan to complain about his off-campus girlfriend again. She was some girl he's known growing up and had gotten with since moving away to college. From everything he told us, she seemed like a total bitch. But that night, his topic of complaint was blowjobs.

"I've never had a good blowjob," he was saying.

"Never?" Sean and I said in unison. We touched eyes for a moment. I happened to know that Sean had, at least once, recieved an excellent blowjob.

"What does that mean?" Kyle said.

"Like, I've never came from just a blowjob," he said.

"Really?" Kyle said. 

"I mean I've never really been with anyone who likes to give blowjobs--which is fine, I don't really care--but yeah, no, I've never came from a blowjob," Ryan said, sipping his second beer and leaning back into the couch. "I don't know. Maybe it's me?"

Ryan was a lanky guy. Even sprawld back against the couch, his knees seemed to stick out well into the middle of the cramped apartment. He had freckles and a mop of shaggy black hair--a kind of reformed goth kid. He was attractive enough and I always liked him as a friend.

I, personally, was the kind of girl who liked to give blowjobs--if for no other reason than how much it seemed to thrill the guy. Dicks are gross. They usually taste bad, but it was usually worth it for the satisfaction. I was stunned that Ryan hadn't come across one girl like that.

"I give the best blowjobs," I said. "Like, I'm sure I could make you cum."

There was a silence then as all of the guys looked at me. I hadn't really thought about how it sounded. I just thought it was true and the sentence came out.

Sean let out a little, nervous laugh. It was the same sound he made every time he was uncomfortable.

"Oh, my god," I said, buring my reddening face in one of the throw pillows.

The others laughed now too, easing the tension.

I'd said it partly because the second beer had loosened me up and partly because I, too, was dating an off-campus boyfriend and was starting to feel the horniness coming on. Last semester, I cheated on my boyfriend, it had gotten that bad. I don't feel great about that, even now that we've been broken up, but sometimes a girl just needs a dick.

This semester, we had decided to have an open relationship until we graduated and were home together again. Even so, I hadn't slept with anyone yet. Honestly, it's because I don't love having sex with a random. The one night stand thing never really works out for me--too many creeps or too many feelings. But all of my friends this semester were seeing someone else. I'd thought about buying a vibrator, but I never pulled the trigger. And my fingers could only do so much. I guess I was starting to feel it more than I thought.

"I just meant that I'm good at them," I said, trying to laugh it off. "Like, I know all the tricks."

They laughed again.

"Yeah, so what are the tricks?" Ryan asked.

I raised a curled fist and spoke triumphantly: "The balls!"

Sean and Kyle laughed, but Ryan looked down at his beer thoughtfully.

"People always say that," he said.

They do always say that. The truth is: it's about attitude. Guys can tell when you're not into it. You've got to use your hands. You've got to use your tongue. Not having a gag reflex helps. Considering all of this got me thinking about the last blowjob I gave and the riding I'd done after it. The memory was doing nothing to ease my sudden lust.

"Hey, Abby, I bet you won't put your money where your mouth is," Kyle joked.

In return for the pun, I tossed the throw pillow at him from across the room.

"Is that some kind of challenge?" I joked back.

"You did say 'bet'," Sean reminded me.

I looked over at Ryan, who'd been quiet. I noticed a small bulge in his sweatpants that hadn't been there before. I gave him a half smile.

"What do you think, Ry?" I teased. "Could I make you cum?"

"I don't know," he said, seriously. "You'd be the first."

With a little pang, I realized that Ryan really thought it was him who was the problem.

But Sean and Kyle erupted into blowjob virgin jokes and it was Ryan's turn to look embarassed.

I don't know what I was thinking when I slipped to my knees from the couch beside Ryan. It was guided entirely by that pang in my stomach and the other feeling from between my legs. Kyle and Sean were whooping and joking behind me.

As I placed my hands in Ryan's lap, I spared a thought for his bitch girlfriend.

"Blowjobs don't count, right?" I thought, echoing a line I thought I remembered from a TV show or soemthing.

I started to peel back the liner of Ryan's sweatpants, slowly at first, giving him time to stop me and pass it off as a joke. I expected him to. But he didn't. Instead, Ryan lifted his ass off the couch enough for me to pull his pants and boxers down to his thighs, exposing his cock and a round of jokes from the two boys behind us who had just seen their friend's penis for the first time.

I kind of always expected Ryan to have a big cock to match his long frame and he didn't disappoint. When I first took it in my hand, it was still somewhat soft. Even so, I knew two things in that moment: he was bigger than Sean and he was bigger than my boyfriend. I'm positive that's something that neither I nor our two present friends will forget.

I put him in my mouth and felt his cock begin to swell up. I love that feeling.

"Abby, oh, my god," Sean was saying behind me. Both of them were still laughing and whooping.

Ryan tasted like sweat. I rolled him around in my mouth and pulled him back out. I won't pretend to like the taste of dicks, but once they're covered in saliva they taste mostly like saliva.

"Ab, you don't have to," Ryan said. "Are you sure you want..."

He had fully hardened by then. I chose that moment to see how much of his cock I could fit down my throat

I made it nearly three quarters of the way down his shaft before I coughed and spat him back out, grinning up at him madly.

"Holy shit, Abby!" Kyle said, laughing.

Sean was exclaiming too. Both were acting more as though they were watching the punchline of a long joke than what was actually happening. I could only smile more at their encouragement.

I looked up at Ryan.

"I want to," I whispered, letting my tongue out of my mouth to play around his head. "If it's okay with you?"

Ryan only nodded, maybe thinking of his girlfriend.

I reverted to my usual pattern: stroking as much of his cock as I could while tongueing the top until I felt ready to push him all the way down my throat again.

At first, while the other boys still hooted and offered encouragement from behind us, Ryan took the blowjob passively. But as it went on, he started touching me. First, pulling my hair out of my face when it came tumbling out of its braid. Then, touching my shoulder, peeking down my shirt with a finger.

I shrugged off one strap of my tank top then, exposing more of my breast so that he could reach down to cup a soft breast. I slipped two fingers into my panties and felt my own wetness.

It had gone quiet behind us. The laughing and joking had stopped. Wondering if Sean and Kyle had left us alone, I turned my head to look and a wry grin spread across my face.

Kyle was leaning back in his seat, his beer halfway between his lips and the table as though he'd forgotten it. There was a noticable bulge in his pants. Sean was rubbing himself through his shorts.

The pang I had felt for Ryan was rising into my throat, a heady sensation of arousal at knowing what my friends were seeing.

"I don't mind," I said, as I returned to Ryan's cock, running my tongue along its length and playing with his balls.

I don't know what I meant by it. My fingers were still deep inside my pussy. Part of me wanted the knowledge that Sean and Ryan were touching themselves to me. I think that part of me, too, wanted to feel Sean's hands on my hips. I'd subtley raise myself up to let him pull my leggings down and slip inside of me. I wasn't bold enough to ask him to do it, but I knew I wouldn't have stopped him. Or Kyle.

Another part of it may have been for Ryan. I wanted him to pull me into his lap and let me climb onto his dick. WIth two fingers in my pussy, I wanted something else there.

When next I looked behind me, though, Sean had taken me up on the first part. HIs cock was out and he was stroking it. Kyle had a hand down his pants. I grinned at them again.

Something about these feelings made me sure, then, that I wasn't going to tell my boyfriend about the whole experience depite our rule to the contrary. It had become more personal for me, an awakening for desires that I never knew existed. I wanted to keep it between us, I guess.

When, months later, my boyfriend came to visit and meet my friends, it would be something that the four of us knew and he didn't. Sometimes, when we had sex after, I would go back to this night in my mind to remember the feeling of Sean's and Kyle's eager eyes on my back.

The longer I worked on Ryan's cock, the more into it he got, moving his hips and stroking my hair. 

I pressed his cock as far down my throat as I could take it again. Gagging, I moved to pull him out , but his hands closed on the back of my neck and held me there. He thrust himself deeper into me and I felt his hot cum hit the back of my throat. He moaned and grunted. Tears ran down the sides of my cheeks.

He pulled out of me, trailing cum and saliva. Ryan burst out a little more onto my tongue.

"Fuck," he said.

Gasping for breath, I leaned back away from him, wiping the corner of my mouth and fixing my clothes.

"See?" I told him, joining him again on the couch. Whereas before I'd been embarassed by the implication that I would suck off my friend, now I felt empowered.

Sheepishly, Ryan pulled his pants back up. Sean still had his cock out, stroking it. Kyle had taken his hand from his pants.

"I cannot believe you did that, Ab," he said.

"Any chance I'm next?" Sean trailed off, gesturing to himself. 

Kyle laughed, but I knew it was only half a joke. I laughed it off with him. In the heat of the moment, I might have done it, but the feeling was fading, replacing itself with dull shame. "Why had I done that?" I thought.

"I'm going to 'go to the bathroom,'" Sean said, placing the quotes with his fingers.

He tucked away his cock and climbed the stairs. I went back to my beer, wondering if it would ever be the same with the three of us.