I flung my bookbag across the room. Another shitty lecture.

It was my second week of college, and it was not going well at all. The few friends I had come from high school with had immediately fit in with the other students, leaving me in the dust. I couldn't grasp any of the content that the professors were teaching. No luck finding a part-time job, and to make matters worse I was still a virgin.

I know, I know, people say that it's not a big deal, that it doesn't really matter but...well it kinda feels like it matters. It's a part of growing up, isn't it? I had felt a little behind in that area, and it's not just the sex, or rather lack thereof.

My friend group had all gotten jobs in high school, pretty easily too. Made me feel like I was doing something wrong just playing sports with my spare time. Football was really the only thing I ever had going for me. My sister has had the same boyfriend since the eighth grade, and being two years younger than myself didn't help the way I was feeling, I had never even kissed a girl! Not really kissed one anyway. I didn't even have a car, and my dad was on his second by the time he was my age.

All this had really made me feel that I was behind in my own life. The only real accomplishment I've made is my football scholarship. Dad says I should take pride in it, that it's not a simple feat, but sports have always come so easily to me. I barely had to work for it, it certainly didn't make me feel like I earned anything.

I moved to a dorm in my college, didn't even need to, campus is a short bus ride from where I live with my parents but I needed to feel independent. Anything at all really to make me feel less like a child.

Sitting at the tiny desk in my tiny room, all these thoughts washed over me, as they have nearly every night since I moved in. And with them, an odd sense of calm. Like this room knew what I was feeling and wanted me to feel okay. It was a pretty cozy dorm, small but not suffocating. A single bed, a desk, and a few bookshelves where all that accented the space. There was something about it though...this inviting feeling, a vibe I couldn't quite describe. I immediately felt comfortable when I first stepped into the room.

Trying to push my anxious thoughts out of my mind, I grabbed my bag of toiletries, took off my shirt & headed to the bathrooms. Technically we weren't supposed to walk around campus in such an "indecent" fashion. I didn't care too much though, I was the only resident in the whole building, not as if there was anyone around to see.

Showers had always helped to ease my mind, like I was scrubbing away my insecurities along with the dirt and sweat. I always had a really long one after football practice, it allowed me to relax & drift my thoughts to other things. My mind when back to my virginity conundrum. It shouldn't bother me as much as it did. I'm sure plenty of freshmen had never gotten laid...

Yeah right.

I imagined how my first time would be, I'd done this often. How she'd get me hard with her hands & mouth, and then just ride me ‘til I cum. I'd seen plenty of porn (again, never even had a girlfriend, had to get my fix somehow) and had a pretty good idea of what I liked. For whatever reason, oral sex turned me on the most. Imagining one of my favorite scenes to watch, the woman on her knees as the man was sitting down. Her hands gripped the open edges of his jeans as her head bobbed up & down. It looked like it felt so amazing, and had never failed to get me hard.

Like it was doing right now.

My dick started to stir, as blood flowed into it like a faucet I was hard in seconds. Thinking of how hot that woman looked with her lips wrapped around that cock. She slipped her head up and down, up and down, up...and down. I could almost feel it happening. The pressure of her lips against my dick, her tongue swirling around it. My dick started pulsing, wanting attention. Walking around shirtless was one thing, but jerking it in the dorm shower? Even if there was no one else in the building, that was crossing a line...wasn't it?

I couldn't help to continue imagining that porn scene. She sucked that cock all the way up to the head, and then licked it all the way down to the balls. Stroking the shaft as she started sucking on the balls. I could imagine it so vividly, it was like I could feel it happening to me! Sucking on my balls and stroking my cock, with such a tight grip but excruciatingly slowly. Feeling each inch of her sliding all the way up & down my length. Looking up at me as she jerked me off. She quickend her pace. Stroking faster, & biting her lower lip as she looked straight into my eyes. As if she could see the intense pleasure I was feeling from her.

I started breathing so heavy, I felt a pressure building in my balls. She seemed to sense this, and buried my cock back into her mouth. Sucking hard and bobbing so quick. I let out a loud moan and cum harder than I ever had before. It was like my cock was bursting with bliss as I shot ropes across the shower stall.

My mind was reeling from what I had just felt. I had cum plenty of times before, having been single my whole life. But that was...intense. A pleasure I had never given myself. And I hadn't even touched my dick at all. Indescribable.

I lay down in bed, feeling surprisingly better about everything. My thoughts and feelings about adulthood not weighing on me as much as they did before. The coziness of my small room washed over me like a velvet blanket. For the first time since I had started this new chapter in my life, I slept peacefully.