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Surrendered Desire

"During an intimacy deprived relationship, Eliza surrenders to her burning desire."

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A couple weeks after meeting, I sat parked in his driveway. The pit in my stomach weaved up through my ribcage until it blossomed into a hard, suffocating lump in my throat. In my chest cavity, my heart thumped strong like a tribal drum.  

I had met Emmett online. He was young, wild and full of fun. The friendship bloomed fast and soon innocent conversations had turned into flirty exchanges. I had been careful and upfront about my relationship status, unwilling to be unfaithful, despite my intimacy deprived partnership. However, carnal need and burning desire coursed through my veins. It was the ache of absence, of not knowing how much I craved to be craved until it wasn't happening anymore. My own fingers and toys could only sate me for so long. I needed flesh.

I needed to feel his hot breath on my skin and the weight of his body pressed firmly against mine. Like a stubborn infestation, thoughts of his touch, his kiss, his gentle caress had taken up residency in my mind since we met. I knew it wouldn't be long until I surrendered to my desires. It was almost like a lone clock ticking through an empty house. I could always sense it, hear it, and feel it.

I closed my car door and stepped onto the paved charcoal footpath. Ironically, the footpath not only lead to his house, but it also led me down a path I thought I would never tread – the pathway to infidelity. I remember thoughts of 'if all these butterflies fluttering around in my stomach could coordinate and fly upwards, perhaps I could levitate'... or perhaps my internal guilt would have weighed me down. Either way, this fluttering could no longer be ignored.

Emmett answered the door only seconds after the doorbell chimed through his home. Two things struck me in an instant – the mouth-watering aroma that wafted from the kitchen and the delicious view of Emmett as he stood before me. Emmett wore perfectly fitting black jeans and a relaxed grey and white t-shirt. His chocolate brown hair had been tussled to look perfectly messy. His green eyes scanned over me and I instantly felt self-conscious. I looked at the ground to break the tension.

Emmett cleared his throat and took me in an embrace. The scent of his cologne hit like a wave. A wave from a sea I could frolic in forever. Emmett’s hands ignited a trail of fire as they tracked up and down my spine. I felt my body relax, not dissimilar to the snap of an elastic band retracting from capacity. I felt him pull away only slightly as he positioned his face close to my neck. Delicate kisses landed on the nape of my neck, every breath in between exhaling like concentrated steam upon my skin. At that exact moment, my head rolled back and I knew I had surrendered.   


In mere seconds Emmett and I had stripped each other naked and had crashed through the door of the closest bedroom. I recall in that moment, a glimpse down the hallway; a clothes trail spanned the length of the long, thin room. The trail reminded me of a naughty Hansel and Gretel, but instead of breadcrumbs, it was clothes left to follow back once the uncharted territory had been conquered. 

Inside the dimly lit bedroom, all inhibitions were gone. Emmett’s body weighed down heavily on mine. Electricity was felt with every kiss. The heat generated from between my slightly parted thighs was unbelievable. If it wasn’t for the sweet elixir that spilled down the valley between my legs, spontaneous combustion would not have come as a shock to me.  

Like a moth to a flame, Emmett seemed to seek out the heat as his body inched further and further down. Each movement only minimally visible in the soft moonlight, as it filtered through the window. The soft, warm light picked up the contours of Emmett’s muscular frame and the fine hairs that covered his body.  

That was when I felt it - the gentle contact between his soft lips and the very top of my most intimate place. A delicate, slow kiss followed before his warm, wet tongue extended out and traced the entire length of where my two outer lips merged. As it crossed the finish line of my swollen clit, Emmett gave a passionate inhale and sucked the small nub into his mouth. In one swift movement, my mind had been blown, every nerve in my body fired in electric bliss.  

With every expert lick, flick and suck, I was being drawn closer and closer to the summit of ecstasy. This climb was hurried along by the audible hums of delight that escaped Emmett’s busy lips, every reverberation making my open thighs tremble.

Subconsciously, I writhed on the bed, slowly grinding my hips to the rhythm set by Emmett. Overcome by sensation, I gripped the sheets, knuckles white. My thighs slammed shut. They equally squished and secured Emmet's head in place. My body tensed and jolted as pleasure rippled through my body. My vocal chords sang out a sound I had never heard before, a primal chorus voicing all the longing that had been coiling for far too long within as the pleasure violently reverberated through my body like a Mexican Wave through a packed stadium.  

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As my body calmed, I gathered the strength to look down to where Emmett still laid perched between my thighs. A mischievous, confident smile was plastered on his face. My juices reflected on his chin, shimmering in the moonlight. The sheen of nectar, tangible proof of my pleasure, coated his chin.  

Breaths of hot air trailed up my body as Emmett slowly crawled up the bed toward me. Emmett’s lips parted and I prepared myself for what he would say...  

“I think it’s dinner time."

It wasn’t what I expected to come out of his mouth, but it brought me back to grumbling reality of hunger in my stomach.  

Emmett smirked.

“You’ll just have to punish me later for eating my dessert before my dinner."

Yep, that was more like an Emmett comment. I forced a scoff in response. I couldn’t help but stare when Emmett got up and moved this wardrobe. His rock-hard erection jousted outwards and proudly bobbed with each step. I bit my lip and blushed as sudden nerves returned. Emmett threw one of his shirts toward me. No sooner had I slipped it over my head, Emmett moaned “Mmmm...damn, that looks so fucking good on you."

I blushed even more from the gesture. So casually tossing me one of his shirts to wear, such an intimate thing often reserved for couples. It made me melt. 

While Emmett plated up dinner, I set to work to pick up our discarded clothes, then joined Emmett in the kitchen. I had no idea what he had cooked but it smelt amazing.  

Despite the delicious aroma and flavours of the food, I found it difficult to savour the taste. Once full, I spent the rest of the time idly pushing the leftover food around the plate with my fork as my mind raced.  

After dinner and cleaning up, we snuggled up on the couch with a blanket and glass of wine, relaxing completely in one another’s company, enjoying the silence and afterglow together. As Emmett’s fingers delicately traced along my arm, I felt at home – but also guilty and scared as questions and reality started to plague my mind. What would I tell my partner? Would the intense feelings for Emmett continue? What would the things that happened with Emmett mean for my current relationship? The thoughts were all becoming too much.  

I woke up a few hours later to the sound of a rubbish truck beeping as it collected the neighbourhood bins. It was barely dawn. After a few moments, I realised that I was still in Emmett’s lounge room. I must have fallen asleep. I looked around, but couldn’t see Emmett anywhere – he must have returned to his bedroom.  

I tip-toed into the corridor to retrieve the clothing I had neatly folded, the night before. Emmett’s bedroom door was slightly ajar, and I could hear the gentle snores of his restful slumber. Careful not to wake him, I quietly returned to the lounge room, folded the blanket from the couch and slipped out of Emmett’s oversized shirt. Once dressed into my own clothes again, I borrowed a pen from Emmett’s coffee table and found a scrap of paper under a magazine. I wiggled the pen between my fingers, as I carefully considered what to write. I struggled to find the right words to pen.  

“Thank you for dinner. I had to leave, I’m sorry, E.”

It was all I could come up with, amidst the internal battle between joyous rumination and guilt. As I left Emmett’s and made my way back to the house I shared with my partner, I became increasingly worried, until I was sick to the stomach. How could I have been so stupid? Although the relationship had not been the happiest or most affectionate, I had never wanted to hurt him.  

I couldn’t bring myself to slip into bed beside him; instead, I showered, dressed, and stayed in the kitchen/living area waiting for him to awaken. 

At around eight am, he came out of the bedroom and into the kitchen to brew the first of his morning coffees. As we locked eyes, my heart broke into a thousand pieces, each of those pieces pounded in unison, and my voice quivered. 

“...Babe, I need to talk to you, I’ve done something really bad...”

 

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Written by LittleMissAus
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