I’ve been with my girlfriend for over two years now and she is a lovely woman. We get on well and she has a great personality but if I’m honest, her body doesn’t drive me mad with lust. She’s cool and we have okay sex but she’s overweight and it is more comfortable affectionate sex rather than dick stiffening, lust crazed sex. I enjoy the physical intimacy but it doesn’t excite me, if you know what I mean.
I guess if I look at it truthfully, this seems to have been something that I’ve had with all of my significant others. They’ve been good, fun women but they have been overweight and never been what I would call sexy. I’ve never been able to pick one up because she was so slim and walk around a room shagging them or look at them when they have got ready for a night out and thought ‘Wow, she’s a stunner, how did I manage to get that?’
When I see them naked, I’m not sexually excited and instead have a feeling that they are cute or that they are nice but never that they are sexy. I’m also a bona fide big boob guy and whilst one or two fleeting sexual encounters have had big boobs, none of my significant others have.
I concede that I’m no Brad Pitt and hence can’t expect to get the attention of Grade A honeys but I try to keep slim and fit and I’ve tried to encourage my current and previous partners to lose weight. But despite my gentle coaxing and hopes that at some point they might change or correct that one aspect about their appearance, they never do (despite some trying) and eventually it becomes too big of a problem and we part company.
Maybe it’s something in me? Despite loving to look at gorgeous women and wanting to be around them, maybe I just don’t have the confidence with the impressive looking women and take the lesser ones because they are an easier option. Like women being drawn to ‘bad boys’ because they believe they can fix them, I believed that my partners, with affection and encouragement, will transform into slimmer butterflies.
With two of them, I got to know them on the phone/internet before I actually met them and hence when I did it was too late to walk away for something as shallow as being overweight.
I was a pretty late starter who didn’t lose his cherry until I was 23. Not because it was a ‘special gift’ but because I couldn’t find anyone who wanted to do it with me. I worked a lot of hours in my jobs over the years, saved money, invested it in a failed business, lost my confidence and started all over again.
When at school and then moving into the big bad world, I had a small and close circle of friends but I lacked that larger group of girls and boys that many others have to allow them to learn to interact with the opposite sex. You know what I mean, that pool of people who have a natural ebb and flow of new entrants that give you the chance to chat to them without the need to artificially create an introduction.
Similarly I didn’t go to university and hence didn’t learn about approaching women in that slightly more equal environment.
Don’t get me wrong, I have tried with better looking women but invariably they don’t even look at me or if they do, they dismiss me as weird or a bit too much. Even when I do play it cool, I’ve never had a good looking woman that’s wanted to invest the time to get to know me. So when I get the easy dismissals and lazy analysis from friends that ‘I’m trying too hard’ or should ‘let them come to you’, I don’t seem to get anywhere when I don’t try or do play it cooler.
I think ultimately that despite me believing that I’m an okay, friendly guy who is funny and reasonably good company, the world doesn’t agree and hence I’m clearly just not capable of getting a great looking woman. I’m not doing the usual Incel response and blaming women.
Yes, they have their idiosyncrasies and stereotypes but I understand that they are all individuals and maybe it is just that the individuals that I’ve seen or been around have just been a certain way.
I’m confident now of who I am and what I believe in, I’m confident that I’m a good-ish person but I guess I just haven’t had what it takes to punch above my weight. And that unfortunately has left me with a gnawing sense of under achievement. A feeling of inadequacy that I’ve never been able to secure the affections of a real stunner or have someone that I could show off and be reminded that I’m shooting way above my league.
Is that me being horrible and terribly unfair? Yes, I guess it probably is. Have I enjoyed spending time with my partners? – Yes. Have I regularly talked about them to other friends and colleagues? – Yes. Am I embarrassed about introducing them in person to friends and colleagues? – Unfortunately yes because deep down I know that they, and myself, will be judged.
And furthermore, I recognise that the judgement that others will make about the attractiveness and weight of my partners, is the very thing that I’ve been trying to ignore and suppress. Hence I’ve run away from that and never wanted to introduce my partners to others or fully commit to them because deep down it will result in me having to confront the realisation that I just don’t find them sexually attractive. I might love them as a person and find them great to be with but I don’t lust after them as an object.
Naturally porn and the internet help me to suppress those feelings. Finding comfort or rather relief in the form of sexy videos and stories satisfies that angle of my desire but am I ultimately putting off or hiding what I know to be true? Should I really pass up on the benefits and support of fulfilling companionship because one small element such as physical lust isn’t there?
Is the pursuit of something that can be temporarily satisfied with a 30 minute search on the net worth being alone for? Is it childish and vain to seek validation from someone desired by many other men to make me feel special and worthwhile? Should I just be content with whatever I can get, because seemingly I don’t have the qualities to obtain anything better? These are seemingly questions that I have struggled to answer for most of my adult life.
So, after that rambling contextual background, my girlfriend works for a large corporate in the city and regularly talks about her work and her work colleagues. What they look like, what they talk about, what kind of people they are - the usual stuff. I’m always fascinated by this and always ask to help build mental pictures what the people look like.
If they are guys, whether she finds them attractive and if they are women what their bodies are like. I’m obsessed by big tits, which she knows, and my enquiries usually centre on that particular physical attribute.
There is this one woman that she works with called Laura, who sounds like she has the body that would make me go insane. Curvy, longish brunette hair and a “huge” (to quote my girlfriend) pair of tits. Apparently this woman dresses a little chavvy when going out socially yet always wears polo necks and pencil skirts in the office, which just accentuate her rack and curvy bottom.
Despite me asking for pictures, my girlfriend, although happy to joke about her and her work friends, makes a particular point of not providing any evidence of said woman. In a way, this adds to the intrigue and makes me suspect that she knows full well that my eyes would fall out of my head if I were to see her or meet her.
Anyway, I few months back my GF is staying at work late to go out for some drinks. She’s been talking more about Laura and seemingly befriending her and whilst I showed interest in their newly blossoming friendship, I didn’t question any more about her figure.
When it comes to tits, I only need one glance, one snippet of information, one simple ‘she’s top heavy’ to lock that Intel away on a woman for ever and I didn’t want to give the impression that I was obsessing about the woman.
I’m pottering around at home, playing on the Xbox, drinking cups of tea after a long week at work and I get a text from my girlfriend.
“I’m a little bit tipsy and heading home soon, can I bring home a friend? x.”
I had no idea who she was bringing but said that it wasn’t a problem. I quickly ran round the flat to make sure it was all tidy, the bathroom looking clean, washed dishes put away etc. and went back to my Xbox. Thankfully I’d showered when I got in from work and looked presentably casual in a coloured polo shirt and some grey tracksuit bottoms.
I got another text saying
“We’re hungry, do we have any snacks to munch, should be 30 minutes or so.”
“No problem on the food, see you soon x” I replied.
I popped the oven on and when ready threw in some chicken, sausage rolls, potato wedges etc. and turned the kettle on for the obligatory cup of tea.
When you come in after some drinks, everyone wants some picky bits and I thought this would fit the bill nicely. After about 20 minutes the intercom buzzer went and I sprayed on some aftershave, grabbed a chewing gum and pressed the door release.
When I opened the door I could hear some giggling on the stairwell of two female voices. One was my girlfriend but the other was a voice I didn’t recognise. This could be interesting I thought.
Around the corner turned my girlfriend followed by this very pretty brunette. Both women beamed smiles at me as my girlfriend threw her arms around me for a cuddle. After a sloppy kiss, Jo, my girlfriend, turned to her friend and said, “Laura, this is Tom.”
I felt my heartbeat begin to quicken as I realised that she’d brought home to me the work colleague that I had been secretly thinking of. Laura stepped forward and gave me a hug. I wrapped my arms around her to give her a warm embrace but refrained from pulling her too tight so as not to feel like I was trying to feel her body.
“Hey Laura, pleased to meet you, I’ve heard a lot about you. Come on inside.”
"Thanks Tom"
She smelt wonderful and flashed another smile at me.
The girls kicked their shoes off by the door, which dropped both of their heights by a couple of inches and revealed that Laura was in fact shorter than my girlfriend. I took their coats and threw them onto the bed in the master bedroom and ushered them into the lounge/diner.
“What can I get you girls, have you had a fun night?”
“Have we got any tonic?” Jo asked, “I fancy another couple of G&T’s”.
“Yeah, I think we have,” I said as I fished out a couple of glasses and chinked in some ice.
As I prepared the two drinks, I watched as Jo showed Laura around the room, pointing out the various ornaments, pictures and the view out of the window.
This gave me a chance to have a proper look at Laura and my word she really was a stunner. About 5’2 with shoulder length hair. It was light brunette with little wisps of blond and parted in the middle. It framed a delightful face. It reminded me of a young Sarah Brightman with big green eyes, a slightly upturned nose and red lipstick defined lips.
She had a nice round bottom wrapped up in a dark grey pencil skirt and what looked to be a truly amazing pair of tits hidden beneath a tight-ish baby pink roll neck sweater. They were wide and round and looked firm as they certainly weren’t drooping down on her tummy.
She was probably a size 10/12 with some deliriously inviting curves and a truly impressive chest. Although they were concealed by the pullover, the round firmness of what must have been a 34G or H cup pair of boobs was a sight to behold.
Realising that I was staring, but not having been caught doing so, I continued finishing off the drinks as the two girls chatted away.
“Christ, what a body,” I thought to myself.
Jo had said that Laura had a young child but hadn’t had much luck with guys. To be fair, she looked like the kind of girl that only the brave, cocky guys would have the balls to pursue and they usually do treat women badly. Likewise, she had the type of body that you took one look at and thought (well I certainly did), I’m not surprised you’ve had a kid because anyone seeing you would want to own you, dominate you and impregnate you regularly.
The two women had collapsed onto the sofa and were talking about their night as I handed them their drinks.
“Give me a minute and I’ll get some food on the table.”
Leaving them to their gossiping and giggles, I returned to the kitchen and started to get the bits from the oven and put them on a serving platter. I could feel that my breath was a little short and noticed that my heart was still pounding from the proximity to this wonderful female specimen.
Her face was pretty, her hair looked like it would feel really soft in your hands and her body looked like it had been custom made for what I physically crave in a woman. I quickly opened a bottle of cider and took a couple of hearty gulps to try to suppress the guilty desire that was floating around my mind.
'Okay, calm yourself Tom, we’ll have some snacks, have a chat and then I’m sure we’ll just end up getting some sleep,' I told myself.
“Grubs up,” I proclaimed as I lay the serving dish down onto the table and retrieved the usual condiments from the fridge.
The girls jumped up from the sofa, and I caught the slow bounce of Laura’s breasts out of the corner of my eye as they moved over to the table.
“Oh wow,” Laura exclaimed, “just what we needed.”
I handed them some napkins and we sat at the table munching on the food and discussing what a good night they’d had.
Laura and Jo were getting on well and talking about the bar they visited, some of the guys in the bar and how they’d done some dancing when the DJ started dropping some tunes.
Seemingly these random blokes in the bar had seen them dancing and had come over to dance close to them.
“Did they try anything?” I asked Jo, looking at them both with mock outrage.
“Well they were pretty fit,” Jo said.
“Especially the one interested in you,” Laura added.
Jo blushed but I certainly didn’t have a problem with them getting attention in a bar. I’m about 15 years older than Jo, and I assume Laura, and understand that when out socialising guys are likely to hit on women. It’s part of life and as long as people aren’t arseholes, it can be fun and flattering.
“So what did they do?”
“Well just a bit of grinding,” Jo said.
“Was one of them black?” I asked knowing that my GF has a thing for black guys (and they usually have a thing for her bottom).
“They might have been,” she coyly responded.
“Interesting, show me how they danced and I’ll decide whether it crossed a line.”
With that both girls stood up and with a fit of giggles started dancing with Laura ‘acting’ as the guy. She pressed up behind Jo and rubbed her groin into Jo’s bottom. It was quite a sight especially when Jo leaned back into Laura’s chest which had the effect of pushing her boobs out to the side.
'God, they are so fucking big,' I thought.
The girls sat down, still laughing and panting and it was all I could do to drag my eyes away from Laura’s heavy chest that was wobbling as she continued to laugh. Noticing that their drinks were empty and wanting to keep them distracted, I grabbed their glasses and headed to the kitchen.
I heard Jo move down the hall to go into the toilet and then heard a voice right next to me.
“Are you trying to get us drunk?” Laura enquired.
Her eyes were twinkling from the effects of the alcohol and with body space perimeters considerably lowered because of that, she was standing far closer to me than one normally would when sober.
“Not at all,” I said, “just wanting to keep everyone properly hydrated. It’s important to keep up on your liquids if you’ve been on the sauce.”
“That’s not usually with more drink though. Jo was right, you are funny.” She laughed and swayed forward slightly which pushed her breasts into my upper arm. I felt the softness of her sweater and then the weight compress against my tricep, and enjoyed the feeling. She steadied herself by putting her hand on my back.
“Are you going to drink as well ‘cos it’s not fair if it’s only us two getting pissed?”
“Of course,” I said and turned round to head to the fridge. I don’t think she was trying anything with me but she didn’t step back as I did this and hence my arm and then chest rubbed past the end of her hard to hide boobs.
'Christ, they felt so good.' I thought as my brain calculated and then stored away the fulsome sensation.
The scent of her fruity perfume floated around me and an image of her spraying it into her deep cleavage earlier in the evening suddenly popped into my head. I imagined the source of the dizzying scent, moistening her skin and squashed between those warm mounds.
“Sorry,” she mumbled as her cheeks blushed and she stepped back.
“No worries, I was just gonna grab another cider from the fridge. Do you want another G&T?”
“I’ve had quite a few already but fuck it, what the hell,” she replied.
She moved to the dining table and sat down on a chair whilst I popped the lid off the cider, took a big swig and fixed her and Jo another drink.
“Did you do anything tonight then?” Laura asked.
“No, not really. I finished work late, had a shower and was just catching up on re-ordering my stamp collection and colour arranging my sock drawer.
She looked at me bemused and perplexed before clicking that I was joking and burst out laughing.
“What are you two giggling about?” Jo said as she came back into the living room.
“Nothing hon, just telling Laura about my tedious hobbies.”
“Don’t forget your movie buying and brass rubbing” she added as she collected the two G&T’s and placed them on the dining table for the girls to drink.
“Let’s put some music on and get this party started,” I said as I turned on the Xbox and selected a party tunes station.
“Yeah, come on,” the girls squealed in unison.
“So Tom, Jo tells me that you enjoy putting together a collection of killer shots when you are properly entertaining people.”
“Oh I see,” I said raising an eyebrow at Jo, “do you think Laura can handle that kind of fun?”
Good times by Roll Deep came on over the speakers and Jo responded with a nod and put her hand on Laura’s arm.
“It could get pretty messy girl, are you ready for that?”
“Hell yeah, I’m a big girl,” she proclaimed.
“Okay, give me two minutes.”
I left the girls talking about what shots they might like whilst I quickly darted into my bedroom. A quick spray of deodorant, a splash of aftershave and a trip to the toilet was in order.
Whilst I took a wee, I considered the situation. I could feel my cheeks getting warm, which was a mix of both the cider and the thought of Laura’s figure, which was the living embodiment of sexiness. The desire for big tits is ingrained into my very core and the thought of this giggling, sweet smelling, walking pair of huge tits dancing and drinking in my living room was causing jolts of electricity to course around my body.
Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t planning on doing anything and I love my girlfriend but that proximity to such a womanly creature was adding this deliciously exciting element to the night and I was lapping it up.
I finished up, washed my hands and bounded back into the living room as a David Guetta party tune came on the playlist.
As the girls gassed about something, I opened the cupboard and pulled out about twenty shot glasses of various sizes that I’d collected over the years. Then the fridge was open and out came the Vodka, the Whiskey, Baileys, Archers, Aftershock, Amaretto, Sidekick and the ultimate killer, Absinthe.
“Are you sure you want to smash this up,” I said to the girls as I started unscrewing the lids to the drinks and as Don’t stop the party by Pitbull dropped on the Xbox.
All I got in response was a loud proclamation of “Paaaaarty!”
Whilst I hit back some more of the sweet Koppaberg, I started to pour out a selection of killer shots.
“Come on then girls, let’s have some fun.”
They entered the kitchen area and looked at what I’d laid out on the counter.
“Oh my.” Laura proclaimed putting her hands to her chest in a show of mock concern.
“Maybe this isn’t such a good idea,” Jo said to help raise the stakes.
Starting off was a shot of Strawberry sidekick (a simple appetiser), then a shot of Vodka, then a Baileys to cleanse the palette and then an Absinthe.
“Have you ever had Absinthe?” I asked Laura
“Err, no, is it okay?” she replied tentatively.
“Well Van Gogh liked it so much, he cut his ear off when he got bladdered on it, so I’m sure you’ll love it.”
Laura looked at me with wide eyes.
“It’ll be fine and here’s a glass of water if you need help.”
“Let’s stand near the sink,” Jo said “just in case.”
Having shots in a group can be a fun bonding experience, especially if it is tinged with a little danger or fear at how bad the shots might be or what their effects might lead to. I chinked the glasses as we started ploughing through the shots one after another. The sidekick slid down easily, the vodka was a little abrasive, the Baileys smoothed it off but the Absinthe punched hard.
“Wowser!” I exclaimed as the final shot worked its way down.
My eyes watered, the hairs on my arms stood on end and I clenched my fist. Laura was a trooper and hit back all four though the Absinthe caused her to close her eyes while her small hand rubbed her large chest. Jo similarly had her eyes closed as she titled her head to the ceiling, so I took the chance to watch the flesh of Laura’s boobs be squished all around her chest as she tried to rub the alcohol down her body.
It clearly had an effect on her body as I witnessed her nipples suddenly poke right into the soft fabric of her jumper. Jesus, if her tits weren’t astonishing beforehand, giving them a point of focus that I just wanted to grab with my mouth was literally too much.
Up to this point, they had been large orbs of flesh that were mesmerising but now they had suddenly become definable tits with chewable nipples that demanded to be sucked and licked and squeezed for as long as possible.
Laura suddenly opened her eyes and looked right at me. I don’t know if she clocked me devouring her chest with my eyes but I quickly looked up and locked eyes with her. They sparkled with life and she let out a “Wow!”
“Yeah baby.” I shouted clapping my hands together.
Jo high fived me and turned to Laura, “You all right girlfriend, I told you it would be crazy.”
“Okay, that was pretty bad,” Laura said.
Uptown Funk came on and the girls moved into the living room and started dancing around each other.
“What a tune,” they shrieked as they started gyrating their hips and pointing their fingers in the air.
I took another large slug of cider and considered what the next shots would be. I glanced over at the girls and couldn’t help but take another long look at Laura. She really was doing a number on my insides. The way she rhythmically moved to the music with her shapely bottom constrained by her skirt moving up to a crazily narrow waist before exploding out to such a healthy pair of jugs, was just insane.
It felt like my eyes were falling out of my head and I felt heat in my face as I feared that Jo could see me undressing and fucking her work friend. I steadied myself with some more cider and poured another twelve shots.
Laura whispered something to Jo and the two left the room to head along the corridor and into the master bedroom. Sorry for party rocking by LMFAO came on the playlist. I could hear some laughing and chattering from the bedroom, some deodorant being sprayed and the girls then reappeared and started dancing.
Jo had slipped into some pyjama bottoms and a long sleeved top whilst Laura had clearly borrowed another pair of pyjama bottoms and Jo had given her one of my plain white v neck t-shirts.
They both looked a lot more comfortable and apologised saying that they were getting a little hot. Laura looked even more delicious. I’m not skinny but my t-shirt clearly wasn’t designed for that kind of extra chestage and hence as the fabric was pulled tight across her bountiful breasts, it also caused the shirt to slightly ride up revealing her midriff and the peek of a delightful belly button.
The girls started dancing again and moving around the living room. The sight of Laura’s tummy was getting me short of breath. It was one thing seeing the curves, watching her move, smelling her perfume but seeing the soft skin of her belly that was just inches beneath a perfect pair of large tits was filling my head with so many erotic and sexual thoughts – all of which involved Laura and not Jo.
I could feel my dick beginning to fill with blood and my balls begin to tighten. Lust was genuinely taking over me and I needed an invisible friend to be able to turn to and say
“Can you believe how incredibly hot and fuckable this woman is?”
“Are we ready for more shots?” I said as I popped the lid off another bottle of cider and downed a healthy amount.
“God yeah,” they replied.
We crowded around the work top, chinked the glasses and crashed back another set. These contained Amaretto mixed with Baileys, a straight whisky, a straight Archers and an aftershock. For the last one, I got the girls to hold off and explained how they needed to drink the Aftershock.
“Okay, this is the Aftershock clock. Take the drink in your mouth and hold it there. Put the tongue to the roof of your mouth for 30 seconds and then push it to the bottom of your mouth for 30 seconds. Then when I say swallow, swallow it and immediately breathe in through your mouth while pursing together your lips (like a reverse whistle).” I helped to sell it by physically demonstrating it to them.
