It was a Friday evening, and I was spending it like I had many times before, skateboarding with my friends at one of the local spots. I had just finished up a session and was watching my best friend, Bo, put together a solid run. Vick, another friend, walked up to us, saying, "That was a good run, man."

"Thanks," I replied as I lit up a cigarette.

After some small talk, I asked Vick what he had planned for later. "We're heading to Phil's get-together," he replied.

Phil's place was always a good time, where we could get rowdy without disturbing anyone. Phil's parents were cool with drinking and the like, as long as we didn't drive after. Most people lived close enough to walk home or just stay the night. However, I didn't live close by, but Bo did, so when we partied at Phil's place, I'd just crash at his house.

"Yeah, I think that's what Bo and I are doing," I said.

"Sweet, I'll see you there. Also, I think Nikki is going to be there," Vick said.

Nikki was a girl who had caught my eye, and we'd been flirting on and off. Not that I hadn't tried to make things happen between us – I just hadn't quite gotten her to commit.

Bo finished his run and came over to where Vick and I had been sitting. "Smoke?" he asked, nodding towards my cigarette.

"Yeah," I replied.

"We still going to Phil's tonight?" I asked.

"Yeah, that's the plan, I assume you're gonna crash at my place?" he said.

"Yep."

We decided to take off and start getting ready for the evening. We got back to Bo's house, where his parents were away – they were now living their own lives now that they had an adult child and were rarely home. We showered up and groomed ourselves nicely, hoping to impress Nikki and Stacy – Bo's crush.

"Should we pre-game?" I asked, holding up a half-bottle of Crown Royal we'd started a weekend or so prior.

"Yeah," Bo said, taking the bottle from me. "As a matter of fact, let me see this." He filled his flask and took a swig from the bottle before handing it back to me.

We both took a few sips before capping the bottle and taking off. It was about a ten-minute hike to get to Phil's house. By the time we arrived, the alcohol was definitely being felt.

As we approached the house, we could smell the fire burning in the backyard. We walked through the gate and saw about seven people sitting by the fire and another six or so on the porch all chatting. I immediately spotted Nikki by the fire and headed her way, while Bo headed towards the porch in search of Stacy.

I sat down next to Nikki in the circle and began chatting with her and the others. We sat there for hours talking and drinking beers and at one point, someone had been passing a bowl around – needless to say, I was feeling very good.

One by one, people started to leave until there was just me and Nikki left. One minute we were talking; the next minute we were lying down in the grass kissing. We'd made out before, but nothing more had ever happened between us. We'd always been friendly but never single at the same time throughout high school.

After some more kissing, I decided to rub her breasts – she didn't stop me. I was pretty worked up and decided to press my dick against her so she could feel it; it seemed to turn her on as she pushed back against me. I slid my hand down her stomach to feel her wet pussy – she grabbed my hand.

"Damn, this is going to be where she draws the line," I thought to myself, but was pleasantly surprised when she grinded on my hand even harder.

"I'm gonna bang this chick right here by this fire, if she doesn't care, I don't care," I again thought to myself – but then I heard a female voice coming from the house: "Nikki, we gotta roll!"

I felt like Wile E. Coyote about to get away with something before an anvil falls on his head. I tried to plead with her to stay, to come back to Bo's house for the night – but no such luck. She left with a promise to continue where we'd left off.

There wasn't anything else to say or do except smile and tell her I'd hold her to it.

I laid back down, lit a cigarette, and thought about what had just happened. I lay there for about fifteen minutes when I heard someone approaching.

"You ready to get out of here?" Bo asked.

"Yeah, I'm ready," I said while killing the rest of my beer.

As we walked back to Bo's house, we talked about our night since we hadn't seen each other since we'd arrived. He told me he'd pretty much just talked to Stacy all night and shared his flask with her – and they'd smoked some weed together.

I told him about how I'd finger-banged Nikki and gotten foiled by her friend – he seemed to get a good kick out of that.

We got home and were both pretty spent. We walked straight into Bo's room and crashed onto his king-size bed – we'd slept in the same bed since elementary school.

He flipped on the TV while we started watching an old show called The Outer Limits. I figured we would fall asleep to it and that would be about it - but then he asked if I wanted to watch a porn.

Considering what had happened to me earlier, I still had that horny feeling

"Put it on," I said

Bo and I had jerked off together before. We would usually put up a pillow or something between us as a makeshift barrier and then do our business. He put the movie on but this time no barrier. We just both lay there, I think just too tired or lazy to grab anything.

decided to start unzipping and pull my cock out. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see him doing the same thing. I started slowly jerking and so did he. Then out of nowhere, I'm not sure why I even said it, but I just blurted out,

"If you suck my dick I'll suck yours."

As soon as I said it I regretted it. What would my friend think? Would he be upset? Grossed out? I just couldn't believe I said it.

Then I heard, "Who goes first?"

"We can play rock, paper, scissors," I said. And he agreed. "Three, two, one, go!" I hoped I would win and he would have to go first. Maybe he was just seeing if I would go through with it and he was just fucking around? He threw paper and I threw scissors! I won!

I could see he was somewhat nervous, but he started working his way down the bed. My cock was already out when he put his hand on it and started jerking it a bit. I didn't know the etiquette for when a guy gives you a BJ, so I just looked at the TV when I felt his mouth go over my dick.

It was warm and felt amazing. I felt his hand reach up and grab my balls and start to rub them. I felt his tongue on my shaft as he pulled my cock out of his mouth and licked it. I closed my eyes and just let him suck me. With the weed and alcohol still in me, it was almost sensory overload. I could feel myself getting close to cumming, but I didn't want to yet, I wanted to keep it going plus I still needed to take care of him.

"Your turn," I said as I watched my cock come out of his mouth.

He climbed back up to the top of the bed and laid his head back on the pillow while I rolled over and got myself down to his dick.

"I can't believe I'm about to do this," I thought to myself.

What I thought was strange though is that I wanted to do it. I grabbed his dick and looked at it while I gently stroked it, then I put it in my mouth. I ran my tongue down it and made sure to lick under the head where I knew I'm sensitive.

"Fuck it, I might as well do a good job, not like being bad at it is gonna make it any less gay," I thought.

I tried to do it like I saw the girls in the porn movies I watch do it. I deep-throated his cock while rubbing his balls. I was a lot more comfortable with all this than I thought I would be. I then started to taste a salty taste.

"Did he cum?" I thought to myself. "No, I would have felt it and there would be more, that's pre-cum."

As soon as I had that thought he pulled back pulling his dick out of my mouth.

"Do you want to 69?" he said.

I nodded my head yes. "Let's take our pants off to make it easier," he said.

We both took them off and then positioned ourselves so that we could suck each other. I grabbed his cock and licked the head before I took it all in my mouth, while at the same time, I felt him lick my balls right before I felt the warmth of his mouth on my shaft. We seemed to get into a rhythm mirroring each other's actions, I would go down far, then he would. I started tasting his pre-cum again, which made me feel even hornier. I would rub my tongue over the tip of his dick to try and get it all, and I had a feeling he was doing the same.

I could feel myself getting close to blowing my load, I had a brief thought that maybe I should let him know, but considering he'd been having my pre-cum, I doubted he cared, plus he would feel it when I started and he could take it out then if he'd want. I could feel it about to go and then I released in his mouth. I immediately grabbed his butt and pulled him close to me while deep-throating him as my body tensed up. All this must have gotten him excited because he started to cum too. I could feel the tremor of his cock right before he let loose. I was surprised by how much there was. It was warm and salty, but definitely not bad. "I don't know what some of my previous girlfriends were bitching about," I thought to myself. I swallowed the load and kept licking and sucking the head just like he was doing to me.

I pulled back as soon as it started to tickle and he did the same. We just lay there for a minute staring up at the ceiling.

I think we both had the same thought

"What did we just do?"

"I just sucked a guy's dick, and let him suck mine!"

I was too drunk, high and tired to figure it all out at this point so I just muttered, "I'm gonna smoke a cigarette and pass out."

He just said, "Me too," as he turned the movie off and put it on regular TV. I fell asleep watching Cops.

The next morning was when the awkwardness kicked in. We were both pretty masculine, we hunted, blew stuff up, set shit on fire, skateboarded, played pool, and DEFINITELY had sex with women. This didn't fit in with our self-images. I think we both struggled with this a bit. I know I did. We didn't say much when we both got up and moving. I smoked a cigarette and let him know that I was gonna head out. Over the next few days, we didn't speak much.

Phone calls were a bit short, almost like he was avoiding me, but not quite. I wanted to talk about it to get it in the open, but wasn't really sure I knew what to say. I spent my nights at home thinking about everything and watching different types of porn trying to figure this out.

Straight porn, gay porn, bisexual porn, trans porn and the short of it was: I enjoyed all of it, although I found that I was not attracted to men, just the sex acts. I didn't look at a man and think

"Oh, I'd hit that," like I would with a beautiful woman.

I definitely wasn't gay, I suppose I'd have to be bisexual. I did like watching the feminine-looking trans women suck and fuck guys.

It was a few more days before I'd see Bo again and I was prepared not to say anything about it at all and just pretend it never happened. We were pretty drunk and stoned and it would be very easy to let everything get memory holed into oblivion. I didn't want to make him uncomfortable or lose a friendship over something like this. I decided to call him and see if he wanted to go downtown and do some boarding with a few of us. He agreed and said he would meet us out there.

I had arrived before him and was shooting the shit with some of the other guys who were there when I saw his car pull up. In the back of my head, I was hoping that nothing would be weird between us. When he walked up he greeted everyone and everything seemed completely normal.

Seemingly the awkwardness was gone. We skated for hours and got run off from many places and all seemed normal. We took a break and I walked away to make a phone call. On my way back to the group I saw Bo walking toward me.

"Can we talk?" he said.

"Sure, what's up?" I replied.

I had a pretty good idea of what it was about, but I didn't want to assume.

"No, not here," he said, "back in the car."

People were starting to bail anyway so I decided to let everyone know I was leaving and said goodbye. I walked over to Bo's car and got in.

"I want to talk about the other night," he said.

"I figured," I said sheepishly.

Looking at the steering wheel Bo said, "I'm not gay."

I shook my head and said, "I know, I'm not either. I like girls and pussy... but I figured this whole thing was bothering you."

"Yeah, it has been. You gotta promise me you won't tell anyone, ever, no matter what?" Bo said.

I looked at him with a surprised look. "Are you serious? Why the hell would I ever tell anyone!? I don't want people to think I'm gay or know that we did anything!" I exclaimed. "What we did is just between us, no matter what and we take this shit to our graves," I stated with a matter-of-fact tone.

"I know, I just wanted to hear you say that... Would you ever want to do it again?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said. "To be honest, I think I might be bisexual, although you're the only one I think I could ever do this with, or be comfortable doing it with."

He smiled. "Me too. I actually liked giving you head."

"Yeah, I did too." I paused for a moment and asked, "Are your folks home?"

"Nope," he replied.