After wiping up the last couple of puddles, I wanted to throw the mop into the bucket, but I couldn't summon the energy. My arms ached, and my temper was foul as I cast a murderous glance at the washing machine. It sat there, bright red lights glaring at me like small beady eyes, as if to say, "Serves you right," while the round glass door matched the expression of someone who had pissed their pants.
How I wanted to kick that thing, but that would have left me with a broken toe and a washer that still didn't work. I fumed. Then I noticed drops of water still hanging on the bottom edge and I viciously whipped the mop across the floor, taking twisted delight in the bundle of coarse yarn slashing against the ivory white metal casing. Talk about rage against the machine.
My victory dance ended quickly. I still had a pile of washing and no way of doing it. Inexplicably, the washing machine had dumped a tsunami over my kitchen floor instead of pumping water down the drain. Instinctively fearing this disaster was going to cost me an arm and a leg, I surfed the internet for a reputable repairman.
After getting fobbed off by a couple of companies, a third said they would send someone that afternoon. "Is that okay?"
"I don't have much choice," I mumbled. Yes, I should have been grateful, but I couldn't cast off the resentment coursing through me.
The informed me that their man would probably arrive at four. With lots of chores still to do, but no energy to do them, I collapsed on the couch, picked up my tablet and searched for something exciting to read on Lush.
A van duly arrived at ten past four, — time flies when you're reading horny tales of sex and debauchery — and it was with damp panties, erect nipples and a flushed face that I rushed to open my front door for the repairman. However, not wanting to appear like some desperate, sex-craved degenerate, and assuming the repairman would appreciate a nice cup of tea, I left the door open and retreated to the kitchen to both calm down, and switch on the kettle.
"Hello, anybody home?"
Despite having seen the repairman's arrival, my heart missed a beat when I heard the deep masculine voice; not because it surprised me, but because it sounded so bloody familiar. "Come on through," I yelled, wondering if my imagination was playing tricks on me. "In the kitchen."
Heavy footsteps approached, and another "Hello" resounded through the hallway.
"In here," I replied, holding my breath, while my heart raced, and my imagination ran riot. Sure enough, when the repairman entered my kitchen, carrying a massive case of tools, the look of surprise on his face was priceless.
"Hello Dan," I said, grinning broadly. "How are you?"
o0o
Dan Smithers had been the last of my many stepfathers during an unhappy childhood. Despite never having or wanting kids, Dan hadn't run when he found out about me, preferring instead to see his new girlfriend's sixteen-year-old daughter as one of life's challenges that fate sometimes deals out.
For a couple of years we lived under the same roof I made his life hell, I was an undisciplined, pubescent teenager, but Dan always treated me as a young lady and never forced his ideas upon me. Instead, he would challenge me to work out things for myself and then, hopefully, form an educated opinion. It was something I found disorientating at first but gradually grew to appreciate.
I can only recall him losing his temper a couple of times, but instead of giving me the bollocking I probably deserved, he'd say how disappointed he was and walk away. That approach was a more devastating punishment than I could ever imagine and usually made me regret my behaviour.
Then Dan found out what a two-timing, lazy good for nothing bitch my mother was. It all happened about a year after I'd left home. He caught her fucking someone she shouldn't have — my scumbag boyfriend — in their so-called marital bed and ended the relationship. And now you know why I hate my mother so much.
Honestly, I was surprised it took Dan so long to find out about her infidelities; It certainly wasn't the first time she'd been unfaithful. How do I know? I'd seen it happen often enough when I lived under her roof. She usually went astray when Dan was working away for a few days, and it followed a predictable pattern. One of Dan's so-called mates would drop in, usually on a false pretext. Beers would appear from the fridge, and as Mum and Dan's friend steadily consumed them, the conversation gradually became more loaded.
Ignoring my presence, Mum would flirt outrageously with her 'guest', and when this was reciprocated, I knew it was time for me to retire to my bedroom. One thing would lead to another, and more often than not, the evening ended up with Mum on her back, wailing like a bitch in heat, while Dan's so-called friend fucked her. To this day, I don't think she realised I knew about her indiscretions, and if she did, it didn't worry her.
I can still remember the first time I witnessed her adulterous behaviour, and how disgusted I felt knowing Mum was nothing more than a council estate slut. However, being an impressionable sixteen-year-old, I was scared of the consequences if I told Dan what I'd seen; so I kept quiet. But that didn't stop me hating myself, or my Mum for putting me in such an uncomfortable position. In hindsight, I should have known better. Dan wasn't the type to unduly apportion blame, he was better than that, but I didn't want to take the chance of him leaving us because of something I'd said. He was, by far, the best thing that had happened to me, and I didn't want my happiness to end. But that was a long time ago.
Dan's departure filled me with both joy and sadness. Mum's comeuppance had been a long time coming, and even though I'd long since moved out, it upset me knowing I'd probably never see Dan again.
Why should that upset me?
Well, I have a dirty secret to confess, one that I'm somewhat ashamed of if the truth be known. Despite Dan being the kindest person in my life, and the only one who treated me like I was a decent human being, to say my behaviour towards him was reprehensible, would be a colossal understatement. In fact, I was a right bitch.
When I wasn't pushing his buttons with sullen teenage disobedience, I regularly went out of my way to tease him — or, at least, tried. I couldn't be too blatant — my bloody mother was always around, keeping a possessive eye on me — but I unquestionably pushed the boundaries of decent behaviour.
For instance, after taking a shower, I'd put on skimpy panties and a loose top, then go and sit opposite Dan while he watched television. I'd position myself in such a way that he always had a view of my pert bum or camel toe, and I'd act as though there was nothing out of the ordinary happening. Sometimes, I'd pretend to read a magazine, while casting furtive glances at my stepdad, hoping to see him ogling me. Truthfully, I don't know if he ever looked, but the idea of him getting turned on by my scantily-clad body excited me enormously.
Occasionally, to throw a little oil on the fire, I'd innocently ask his opinion on something I'd read in the magazine. When he answered, I'd pretend to listen, but in reality, I was fantasising about stripping naked for him so that he could do all sorts of unspeakable things to me. These indecent thoughts always caused my adolescent body to react, and because I was a stupid little bitch, hell-bent on causing trouble, I'd deliberately adjust my posture to ensure Dan couldn't miss what I had on display.
And I wish I could say that was my worst behaviour, but it wasn't.
Whenever a boyfriend was allowed to stay the night, I made sure everyone in the house could hear us having sex. Copying what I'd seen in porn movies, I would order my boyfriend too, "Fuck me harder" or "Give me your cock" and then moan so loudly it was a wonder the neighbours across the road didn't complain. Of course, the following morning, my mother would reprimand me, telling me to put a sock — or panties in it the next time; otherwise, there wouldn't be any more sleepovers for me. I always apologised, but I didn't mean a word. All that mattered was that Dan had heard me having sex.
And that's how I repaid the only man who'd treated me as an adult, right up until I moved out. Although I saw Dan intermittently, Christmas and birthdays, that sort of thing when he broke up with my mother, all contact virtually deceased.
Well, that was until a couple of years ago when I bumped into him while out shopping. After the customary greetings, we shared small talk for a few minutes and, despite any real evidence, I got it into my head that Dan looked at me with more than a casual interest. All my past lousy behaviour immediately flooded my memory, and it may come as no surprise to you, that shortly after this chance encounter, I did something that in hindsight, was both foolish and embarrassing.
I made a dirty phone call to Dan.
It was late, I was alone, had drunk more wine than I could handle, and I was incredibly horny. Lots of extenuating reasons why, but mostly because of how I remembered Dan mentally undressing me during our brief encounter. Well, that's my story, and I'm sticking to it.
I won't bore you with how I got his telephone number, suffice to say I can be quite resourceful when I need to be, and had it stored on my iPhone. Anyway, lying naked on my bed, recalling how I used to tease him, that sweet tingling between my legs grew more intense, and I dialled the number.
I remember holding my breath while I waited for Dan to answer, and almost hung up when it took longer than I'd anticipated. When he finally answered, I told him my name was Susan and began talking. Luckily he remained silent while I babbled away, trying to turn him on with what I thought he might like to hear. At one point, Dan interrupted my drunken nonsense and asked if it was me phoning him. Shocked, I immediately denied it, repeatedly saying my name was Susan, and despite him having recognised my voice, I continued with my lewd narrative.
In hindsight, I know I should have hung up immediately, but alcohol, loneliness and lust, all conspired against me. Let's face it, if I'd been able to think coherently, I wouldn't have called Dan in the first place, but I had, and there was nothing I could do to change that. And contrary to the truth, I was convinced he believed me, and drunkenly carried on. Dan, polite as ever, didn't hang up, and let me get on with it.
When I asked what sort of women he liked, he virtually described me, something that boosted my swollen ego, and this innocent fun evolved into something more explicit. I started saying things like; how much I wanted to suck his cock, how wet I was thinking about him, how I wanted him to fuck me in — well, there's no need for specific details. Suffice to say, in my depraved, drunken state; I had enough Dutch courage not to care what I said. The truth is, a sober me probably would have died of shame! However, I can't change the past, so there is no point in worrying about it.
However, during our conversation, I kept asking Dan if his cock was hard, and was he touching himself while he listened to me.
"Yes it is, and yes I am," he replied dryly.
And in my state of intoxication, it never occurred to me that Dan might not be telling the truth. So while I lay there, gently caressing myself, I imagined him busily tugging his cock, while he listened to, and answered my questions. When I asked if he would like to fuck me, and he said he would, I demanded him to tell me what he would do.
Patient as ever, Dan described in graphic detail how he would take me, and listening to him, I vigorously fingered myself. Although looking back, he was probably saying the things I wanted to hear. However, whether he meant it or not, it didn't matter — I still achieved a sizzling orgasm.
So, in its uncensored and perverted detail, that's our history. Right now, though, Dan was in my kitchen, staring at me with a gobsmacked expression…
o0o
"Jesus, Andrea, what are you doing here?"
When I said I could ask him the same thing, he grinned. "I'm here to fix your washing machine. Why, what did you think I was here for?"
I had the good grace to blush before remembering my manners and the reason why I was in the kitchen. "Do you want a cup of tea?" I asked, recalling how he loved a tasty brew.
Dan took a moment before replying. "Sure, why not? You're my last customer today, so nobody else is waiting for me. First, let me see what the problem is, and then we can catch up on old times."
Despite wanting the machine fixed, I was so happy to see Dan that I didn't want him wasting any time on my laundry problems. However, his common-sense approach convinced me there was time enough for everything.
Soon, amid colourful language and pieces of machinery on the kitchen floor, the problem was diagnosed. A leaking hose was the culprit, and Dan had it replaced within the hour.
"Now, how about that cuppa?" Dan said, washing his hands.
Five minutes later, sat at the kitchen table drinking his tea, Dan watched me fill a load of washing into the machine, and as we talked, I noticed him giving me the once over, particularly gazing at my legs. Because I was on my haunches, my short skirt barely covered my legs, and there was a lot of bare flesh on display. Seeing him watch me, I felt a familiar buzz of excitement run down my spine.
While I continued filling the machine, we talked, and after the usual chitchat, the conversation took on a more personal direction.
"Yes," he said, "I'm seeing someone, but it's nothing serious."
"No," I said, "I'm single again. The kids are fine. They're with their father for the weekend and won't be back until Sunday evening."
Then Dan asked the question I hoped he wouldn't. "How's your mum?"
I bit the nail on my thumb and told him I hadn't seen her since he walked out. He almost choked on his tea but recovered admirably.
Having loaded the washer, I switched on the repaired machine. Winking, I said, "Now we'll see if you're as good as you profess to be."
I joined him at the table, sitting adjacent to him with my long legs stretched out. Provocative, I know, but some habits die hard. Unfortunately, Dan seemed intent on dampening my mood.
"So, you and your mother don't get along, then?"
"No." I shook my head. "Have you seen her since..." I let the question hang in the air.
He shook his head.
"Here." I handed him my iPhone. "That's a recent photo of her from Facebook."
When he reached for my phone, our fingers touched, and I unexpectedly gasped.
"Whoa." Dan's eyebrows rose dramatically. Whatever he'd been expecting, it wasn't what I showed him.
"Terrible, isn't it?" I said, twisting a knife in her back. The picture didn't do my mother any favours and his haunted expression pleased me. Even though I hated her, I occasionally checked up on her through her various social media accounts and found this recent photo of her. Whenever I looked at it — not very often — I wonder whatever possessed her to post it.
"The years haven't been kind to her, have they?" He tutted and shook his head in what seemed genuine concern. Then his eyes sparkled. "Good job I got out when I did."
"That's what you get when you hook up with older women," I said, crossing my legs, and allowing my skirt to ride a little higher up my thighs. Dan's gaze flicked over the exposed flesh and the spine-tingling sensation I used to feel as a precocious teenager, flushed through my veins again.
"What can I say, Andrea? I've always had a thing for older women."
"You say that, but have you ever had a relationship with someone younger than yourself?" I demanded, casually raking my hand through my hair, remembering Dan liked the tousled look.
"That depends on how young you mean," he replied defensively. "I'm definitely not interested in jail-bait teenagers, but there are a few tasty mothers I wouldn't have minded spending a rainy Sunday afternoon with." He tried to keep a straight face but failed.
Pressing a finger against my lips, I gazed into space between us.
"I wasn't thinking about Sunday afternoons, Dan, I was talking about single mums who've had their day ruined by malfunctioning appliances. And having time on their hands and an itch that desperately needed relieving," and the word "desperately" was spoken in my huskiest voice, "have spent the afternoon fantasising about screwing the repairman when he arrives."
Dan laughed loudly.
"What's more," I continued, "said repairman would probably find out they weren't wearing any knickers because all their dirty frillies are in the washing machine that —"
"Has just gone tits up," Dan interrupted before bursting into infectious laughter. We'd always shared the same silly humour. With tears running down my cheeks and my belly aching from laughing, I heard Dan trying to regain his composure.
"Seriously, Andrea, you've been reading too many of those magazines," he said, struggling not to laugh again.
I shrugged. "You could be right, but us women have sexual cravings as well you know. All I'm saying is... well, crazier shit has happened."
"That's true." Dan was a little too thoughtful for my liking. Then he leaned toward me and spoke as if he was discussing state secrets. "Since we're on the subject of crazy and unbelievable shit, did I ever tell you I once received a dirty phone call?" I shook my head. "Probably from one of those desperate women you've just described, Andrea." Then he barked a harsh laugh. "Me, getting an honest to God dirty phone call," he mumbled, staring sightlessly in front of him.
"And?" I felt the blood draining from my cheeks.
"Yeah, this woman… incidentally, she sounded a lot like you… professed, very drunkenly, to needing my body to satisfy her sexual needs."
I hoped I wasn't blushing too obviously. "You're pulling my bloody leg?"
Dan shook his head so vigorously I thought he might injure his neck.
"What did you do?"
"I listened to what she had to say," he stated, a bit too smug for my liking. "She was very explicit about what she wanted and how she wanted it. To be honest, I enjoyed listening to her."
"You fucking pervert," I giggled. "So what did this harlot have to say?"
Dan grinned. "Why do you want to know?"
"Let's just say I'm curious." I gave him my best' butter wouldn't melt in my mouth' expression, but he wasn't buying it.
"Okay, but only because it's you that's asking." He took a deep breath." It was some time ago, and she seemed to take her time getting to the point, but I remember this harlot — your word, not mine — promising to suck my cock, and make me cum all over her face..."
"Nooo." I covered my mouth with a hand. If Dan could recall this, what else did he remember?
"After going down on her, she wanted me to fuck the ass off her," Dan continued.
"I'm sure she didn't say that."
"She ruddy well did," he retorted. "She said, and I remember it clearly —" Dan paused, making a show of recollecting her words. "'I want to feel your big lovely cock slide into my ass, stretching it wide open, and then have you fuck it hard, until you shoot all your cum inside of me.' As I said, I think she was a bit drunk."
"She must have been," I responded in feigned repulsion. "Disgusting. What sort of slut would say something like that?" I continued guardedly. The unexpected turn in the conversation was turning me on, and the warm moisture between my thighs made me feel very self-conscious.
Deep down, I knew this whole situation was on the wrong side of decency, but I couldn't change the way I felt. I wasn't Dan's pubescent stepdaughter anymore, but he was still my ex-stepfather and should have been off-limits. But I was an independent woman now, with adult needs and desires, and this raunchy conversation had the expected effect on my body. I didn't need to look at my chest to know my nipples were advertising my arousal: I only had to watch Dan's eyes continually flicking over them. I risked a furtive glance at Dan's lap and was pleased to see a bulge.
"I don't know what sort of a woman says such things," Dan said, "but I wouldn't mind finding out. I mean, what guy wouldn't?" He offered an impassive face.
"So, Dan, if I understand you right, you're not opposed to having sex with younger women... assuming they talk dirty to you over the phone, and are prepared to let you have disgustingly perverse sex with them?" I liked my touch of sarcasm.
He nodded — then instantly shook his head as if trying to work out if he'd given the wrong answer or not. It didn't matter; I'd already made my decision. I stood in front of him and reached for the zipper of my skirt. With the help of a few wiggles, the garment slithered down my thighs and exposed my soaking wet knickers to Dan. Then placing a leg either side of his, I shuffled forward until the stubble on his chin was literally touching my moist underwear.
"I know I used to tease you when I was younger, but I'm not doing that now, Dan. I want you," I said, chest heaving while I watched his face for a reaction.
At first, Dan seemed dumbfounded but recovered quickly. "You lied," he exclaimed. "You said you weren't wearing any knickers."
"No, I didn't," I countered. "I inferred, but never said I wasn't. Anyway, what do you care? Can't you see how turned on I am?"
"See it? I can smell it, you dirty little slag" He made an exaggerated gesture of sniffing the air. "Come here." With that, he grabbed my ass and pulled my abdomen forward. His mouth covered the dark stain in my underwear, and a hot breath wafted over my welcoming sex. Then he pushed his tongue against the cleft in my camel toe, and my spine tingled.