Rocky has broken his leg and his buddy Bob comes over to see him.
Bob: How are youy doing?
Rocky: Fine. Hey, do me a favor. Go upstairs & get me my slippers. My feet are freezing!
Bob goes upstairs and sees Rocky's hot twin sisters lying on the bed.
Bob: Your brother sent me up to have sex with you girls.
Twins: Oh Really??? Prove it!
Bob (Shouting): Hey Rocky, both of them?
Rocky (Shouting back): Of course! What's the point of fucking one?
Shortly before her fourth marriage, a middle aged woman went to see her doctor to ask for advice on sex, more particularly on how to do it.
The doctor was amazed. He said, "You've been married three times before, surely you know what you have to do by now?"
"No, that's the point," said the woman, "I don't. My first husband was a gynaecologist and all he wanted to do was look at it; my second husband was a psychiatrist and all he wanted to do was talk about it; my third husband worked for the Post Office and he couldn't find it. Now I'm getting married to a lawyer so I'm bound to get screwed sometime!"
A woman was on the way to winning $100,000 on a game show, but her final question was suspended for the next night. Her husband sneaked into the studio and found the question and answer.
He raced home and told his wife, "Your question is 'What are the three main parts of the male anatomy', and the answer is 'The head, heart and penis.'
The woman thinks about this throughout the night, but keeps forgetting the answer.
Her husband keeps reminding her, "The head, heart and penis."
Come the game show she has forgotten again, and the presenter asks, "For $100,000, what are the three main parts of the male anatomy? You have ten seconds."
"Um... the head."
"Good. Eight seconds."
"Um... the heart."
"That's right. Five seconds."
"Oh... um... damn. My husband drilled it into me last night and I had it on the tip of my tongue this morning..."
"That's close enough! You've won $100,000!"
Danny discovers his wife is cheating with another guy, so he goes to the guy's wife and tells her about it.
"I know what we will do," she says. "Let's take revenge on them."
So they go to a motel and take revenge.
After 10 mins, she says, "Let's take more revenge," and they take revenge again.
So like this, they kept taking more & more revenge...
After 5 times, Danny was lying spent, and she said, "Lets take revenge again." Danny said,"I cant... I have no more hard feelings left !!!!"
A man and his wife decide to book a hotel room for the night of their 25th wedding anniversary.
As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"
The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out and suck your tits dry."
Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"
He replied, "It looks like I did a pretty good job!"
A young man went into a sex shop to buy some condoms, and a sales girl approached him.
Sales girl: Can I help you, Sir?
Young man: Yes, I want to buy some condoms.
Sales girl: What size do you need, Sir?
Young man: I didn't realize they came in different sizes. I don't know what size I would need.
Sales girl: May I hold your penis to tell what size you would need?
As she was holding the penis, she called for assistance: "Give me a small one... Wait! Make it medium...Wait! Make it large... Shit! Give me a tissue !!!"
A young lady who thought she was overweight went to see a dietitian. She walked into his office and asked several questions about dieting, exercise, and other things. Her final question to the dietitian sparked interest in him.
She asked, "How many calories are in sperm?"
"Why?" he replied.
She explained some of the things she liked to do.
After thinking a minute he said, "I really have no clue, but if you are consuming that much of it, then no guy is going to care if you are a little chunky!"
PS - Do calories really count? LOL
Little Johnny was in trouble again.....He was charged with the of a grown woman, and all though the crime seemed highly improbable, the state's evidence was overwhelming.
As a last desperate move, the defense counsel came over to the witness stand, pulled down Little Johnny's pants, and grabbed the boy's tiny organ for all to see.
"Ladies and gentlemen," the lawyer cried turning toward the jury box, "surely you cannot believe that such a small still undeveloped organ is sexually mature?"
Growing more agitated he went on, "How could this miniature member be capable even of erection, let alone the of a fully grown woman."
"WATCH IT," yelped Little Johnny. "One more shake and you'll lose the case!
I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the week. Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor's office to tell me that I had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 am. I had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45am. The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn't have any time to spare. As most women do, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene when making such visits, but this time I wasn't going to be able to make the full effort.
So, I rushed upstairs, threw off my pajamas, wet the washcloth that was sitting next to the sink, and gave myself a quick wash in that area to make sure I was at least presentable. I threw the washcloth in the clothes basket, donned some clothes, hopped in the car and raced to my appointment.
I was in the waiting room for only a few minutes when I was called in. Knowing the procedure, as I'm sure you do, I hopped up on the table, looked over at the other side of the room and pretended that I was in Paris or some other place a million miles away.
I was a little surprised when the doctor said, "My, we have made an extra effort this morning, haven't we?"
I didn't respond. After the appointment, I heaved a sigh of relief and went home. The rest of the day was normal. Some shopping, cleaning, cooking. After school when my 6 year old daughter was playing, she called out from the bathroom, "Mommy, where's my washcloth?"
I told her to get another one from the cupboard.
She replied, "No, I need the one that was here by the sink, it had all my glitter and sparkles saved inside it." Never going back to that doctor again........ Never.
This guy went to hospital for a circumcision, but because of a mix up, he ended up having a complete sex change.
All of the doctors and nurses had gathered around his bed as he was waking up so they could give him the bad news.
Naturally, the poor guy went to pieces and started crying when they explained what had happened to him.
"Oh no!" he moaned, "this means I'll never be able to experience an erection ever again!"
"Of course you will," one of the doctors soothed. It'll just have to be someone else's, that's all."
Yes.... would like to know her
guess you could work as a nurse at the lush hospital
12,461
U missed the 2 in between...
