Why is it so difficult for some people to believe and/or accept that somebody can be a virgin in their 20s/30s+?
There are lots of reasons for it which I don't think we need to go into, but seriously, why is it such a problem for a lot of non-virgins?
Some of them say there is something wrong with them, others say something must be done about it, and quite a few call them liars.
I know being a virgin is a problem for a lot of virgins too, and it would be nice to read your thoughts on how you feel about your virginity, and how others react to you (PM is fine if you don't want to post!), but for all those of you who aren't a virgin, are you bothered about people who are? Is it hard to comprehend/understand? Do you really think they're lying? I would love to know your thoughts.
Thank you in advance.
Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.
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It is not hard to believe, and I commend you for waiting until you feel it is right for you.
And no, I don't believe they are lying.
There are some who wish they were still a virgin I expect ;)
So not a problem for me!!!
I've not been a virgin for quite a while and I do find it a bit awkward to talk to virgins at times when it comes to sexual things. As I see it most virgins have a great interest in sex and read up on things and learn about details much more than a person who's no longer a virgin, therefore it's not really a great surprise that there are some virgins who play out their fantasies online. I mean, they basically feed their minds with all this information and splurge it out. The awkward part is that they talk a lot about sex and sexual things but they have no experiences of their own. I do get the same awkward feeling when talking to friends who's ever only had one partner. It feels strange to me that you can stick to one partner all of your life without wanting to try another man/woman out. Just to get a larger perspective of it all.
I've had sex with at least 3 virgins who were over 22. I must say that they've been much better than the ones who were below 20.
I wrote a story about a virgin couple aged 23 (guy) and 20 (girl), and someone commented on the story to say it seemed unlikely.
I lost my virginity quite early, but, after that one time, I then wasn't with anyone till I was 18. I could quite easily imagine if things had worked out differently I could have still been a virgin in my 20s. It didn't happen that way for me, but it doesn't seem unlikely at all.
I definitely agree there is too much stigma and/or status attached to being a virgin.
In today's world it seems kids are having sex at much younger ages than in the past, so it does seem a little strange hearing of virgins in their 20's and especially their 30's. But that doesnt mean there is anything wrong with waiting. It is the choice, or at least it should be the choice of each individual when they have sex for the first time. Every one is different. Perhaps waiting until an older age will make it a more pleasurable first experience over those of us who gave it up at a younger age because you are more mentally ready. I dont know.
There is nothing wrong with waiting if that is what is right for you!!
It is hard to believe in, in that in today's world it is sort of uncommon. However just because something is uncommon it doesn't mean that it is bad. One of my friends is 25 and she is a virgin because she is waiting until she gets married, and I have no problem with that.
It's not hard to believe; I have known men and women alike that were virgins until their mid- 20's. Depending on a person's background it is possible there are virgins in the 30's or old.
I'm a virgin myself with not much experience but I do like being sexy and provocative on lush for some odd reason I can't understand.
I'm in no hurry of getting rid of my virginity either cause in my personal opinion, it has to be special and not done in a hurry.
The reason I get suspicious is that I've dated a couple of "virgins" who eventually gave themselves away. In the book 'Southern Ladies and Gentlemen' the female author devotes a whole section to, "the self rejuvenating virgin." I don't mind the truth, either way, but honesty doesn't seem to be as popular as it used to be.
It's really not hard for me to believe!
I'm seeing more younger people enter into pacts to keep their purity until marriage or later.
Even though it goes against my lifestyle and pursuits of pleasure, I believe these people are happy and leading good lives.
Check out this program for young people called Silver Ring Thing and you may get an idea of why this is becoming more prominent!
Kisses!
Steph
I don't find it hard to believe simply because a lot of guys have a hard time believing I've only ever been with one woman. So I figure since I know I'm telling the truth I should believe others, too.
I have always said "to each there own" it's not wrong or right it's what you feel inside.
Not hard for me to believe, don't for a second think people are lying and don't find them strange/weird at all.
I didn't lose mine until I was 22 the guy was 19 and he was a virgin also. One of my friends lost hers when she was 20 and I have another virgin friend who is 20. I guess I live in a small place with few options, it certainly wasn't down to religion or anything. I'm glad I waited, I truly don't think I was ready until then and I'm now with the guy that it happened with. Only secret is that he doesn't know that I was a virgin also, maybe I'll tell him one day..
I know two people who are virgins in their early/early-middle twenties.
One is male, the other is female, and the two differ greatly. The male wants
to get rid of it. Is literally aching to be rid of it, while the female doesn't want
to rush it and is waiting for marriage.
The female, of course, gets frustrated when people don't believe she is.
Mostly it's guys who have a hard time wrapping their minds around it. I
think it's because she's a very attractive person, so guys don't understand
why she's a virgin (i.e. with her looks she could have any guy she wanted).
Personally, I think the more attractive you are, the less people are inclined
to believe, as there 'is no excuse' for you not to be, if that makes sense?
Males are easier to believe because we're usually the awkward, bumbling
fools who have to 'get lucky' to finally have sex.
I don't agree with the reasons; I believe what I'm told about it. I also
applaud anyone who is saving their little gift for someone who is deserving.
your body...your choice...who care what others say??
Deleted by admin...please keep all discussion of ages to 18 and over, per site guidelines.
There are indeed "perpetual virgins" but some can be pretty fake. To be directly honest, I don't trust people over 25 or so who are still virgins. There are usually very good reasons for it (religious morality, emotional instability, unreasonable significance accorded, odd personality, etc), none of which appeal to me. What are you "saving yourself" for and why? Virgins aren't very good at sex (no experience!) and I place no value on being "the first". I know some people get that extra thrill at popping a cherry, but to me it matters more whether the partner can please and be pleased without getting hung up on guilt trips, getting overly-emotional because they just opened their hymen, or getting "weird" because it's their "first time and so meaningful".
Nikki703 wrote:
In today's world it seems kids are having sex at much younger ages than in the past
One more thing, this is a completely limited perspective thing. In Europe, the age of consent is generally much lower than in the US (with its hypocritical Puritanical Calvinist background). In California, back in the 1700s-early 1800s, by age 13 many women were married, by 14 had had kids. This was not thought unusual at all. The same is true back in American colonial days. So no, kids are not having sex earlier.
I am a virgin at 24 and it doesn't bother me. But when i do tell people that i still am, they have mostly been shocked. Like, "I can't believe you're still a virgin!"
Like as if to say that my personality doesn't match that of someone that has ever had sex before.
But i guess when you think about it. I guess the average person thinks a virgin will act a little immature or childish. Because who would want to lay with someone that acts like that.
I guess i may come off as someone that may know a thing or 2 on how to please women because i have openly an correctly said how to. And that i have openly told people that i am always wanting to learn how to better myself in pleasing women. And this is all true.
But i don't have much experience. I guess that statement implies that i have had sex before, but only with a few women. And is isn't until after i say all of that do i tell them that i am still in fact a virgin.
Once in HS a kid that has had numerous hookups told me that is how you separate men from boys. And he was more immature than me.
Being a virgin is not hard for me. People I tell either do not care or give me the "shocked" look and stop including me in their graphic conversations. The only thing that gives me pause is when I try to date someone and keep getting pressued to "prove my love". It does prove to much for some to handle being told no. They start feeling unappreciated and shortly break up.
xx
