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Is Cybersex cheating?
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I think it depends on how often you do it, and if you do it with similar people all the time. If you're doing it more than the amount of time you spend with your wife, then somthings not right there (unless youve agreed this is how things are and you're both fine with it).
Its not really that much different to porn in the end but personally, i would much rather my OH watch porn than cyber wth real people
Its not really that much different to porn in the end but personally, i would much rather my OH watch porn than cyber wth real people
Active Ink Slinger
yes it has to be if we are pretending to be happily married......however if the situation,is one where the relationship has broken down,or loveless then no.!!!!!!
Me and my partner have talked about this no we don't see it as cheating as long as the other person is made aware of you cybering don't necessarily have to go into details about your cyber session with them unless they are interested. But if you hide it from them then yes it is cheating
Here is a link you should read through the search button is your friend
http://www.lushstories.com/forum/yaf_postst4058_Is-Cybering-Cheating.aspx
Here is a link you should read through the search button is your friend
http://www.lushstories.com/forum/yaf_postst4058_Is-Cybering-Cheating.aspx
Active Ink Slinger
this was asked in "the lounge" and this is how i answered
its my opinion that if you are doing something with someone else that you know and or have a damn good idea that will hurt your partner
then its cheating no matter how you rationalize that it "isnt real"
and lets be honest, we KNOW if it is something they do not want or will be hurt by... and if you are quibbling with the word "know", then you certainly will have a strong suspicion that it will hurt them
i know my bf would be hurt if i did this... so i would be cheating
if you know your partner would be ok with it, then its not cheating
so i think thats the litmus test for cheating...whether its cyber sex, porn, screwing the tailpipe on your softail, or riding the washing machine or electric toothbrush
its my opinion that if you are doing something with someone else that you know and or have a damn good idea that will hurt your partner
then its cheating no matter how you rationalize that it "isnt real"
and lets be honest, we KNOW if it is something they do not want or will be hurt by... and if you are quibbling with the word "know", then you certainly will have a strong suspicion that it will hurt them
i know my bf would be hurt if i did this... so i would be cheating
if you know your partner would be ok with it, then its not cheating
so i think thats the litmus test for cheating...whether its cyber sex, porn, screwing the tailpipe on your softail, or riding the washing machine or electric toothbrush
Quote by amber
this was asked in "the lounge" and this is how i answered
its my opinion that if you are doing something with someone else that you know and or have a damn good idea that will hurt your partner
then its cheating no matter how you rationalize that it "isnt real"
and lets be honest, we KNOW if it is something they do not want or will be hurt by... and if you are quibbling with the word "know", then you certainly will have a strong suspicion that it will hurt them
i know my bf would be hurt if i did this... so i would be cheating
if you know your partner would be ok with it, then its not cheating
so i think thats the litmus test for cheating...whether its cyber sex, porn, screwing the tailpipe on your softail, or riding the washing machine or electric toothbrush
Yep, absolutely agree. Everyone has their own idea of what cheating is, and if your partner's happy for you to cyber then go for it, if they think ts cheating then you should lay off it.
Active Ink Slinger
The debate on this seems to be most people on here would class it as cheating, so just a quick thought
if your partner does not know that you write or read stories on Lush, or isn't happy about you wrting or sharing stories on lush,
due to the fact that people give feedback and ratings wouldn't just being on here be classed as cheating ?
if your partner does not know that you write or read stories on Lush, or isn't happy about you wrting or sharing stories on lush,
due to the fact that people give feedback and ratings wouldn't just being on here be classed as cheating ?
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by nigelsnaughty
if your partner does not know that you write or read stories on Lush, or isn't happy about you wrting or sharing stories on lush,
due to the fact that people give feedback and ratings wouldn't just being on here be classed as cheating ?
hi nigel, i dont think thats a valid anology because of two things
the litmus test isnt whether the partner KNOWS about something, its whether YOU KNOW it will hurt your partner
second "isnt happy with" is not synonymous with "is hurt by" ....
i think the test of cheating still holds... in this case, do you know your partner is being hurt by writing stories or if you have kept it secret, do you know he/she WOULD be hurt by it if they did know
to me, if i knew my bf would be hurt if i wrote a story, its time he and i have a serious talk... writing down sexual thoughts and feelings or fantasies is hardly comparable with actually singling out an online person and masturbating with them which was the question of cybersex, tho, which is why we would need to have a serious talk
of course, cybersex does not carry with it the inherent risks of pregnancy and disease, and or the possibility of a fatal attraction scenario (unless you are stupid enough to give out a real name or a published telephone number or such), and there can be numerous other reasons for engaging in cybersex that make it something that a person needs, but
the bottom line is that it is still cheating if you know it does/will hurt your partner.... WHY one is cheating is a whole nother topic, and really none of my business at all, of course
Active Ink Slinger
I guess it all depends on what you call cheating. Some people do not think having a meaningless one night stand is cheating. I know a guy who says if he is more than 500 miles from home, than it is not cheating( A little extreme, LOL). I actually know a couple who think masturbation is cheating!! Personally, I think of online cybersex as being similar to watching porn and masturbating. The person on the other end is a stranger and chances are you will never meet. But doing it over the phone or webcam, then that is a little more personal. If my "significant other" did that without my knowledge, Id be hurt, I think.
I tell my "significant other"about all my cybersex. And it is cool. But my relationship is different than most since we are pretty open, as long as no secrets.
I tell my "significant other"about all my cybersex. And it is cool. But my relationship is different than most since we are pretty open, as long as no secrets.
Active Ink Slinger
If CyberSex is cheating then I must be!
Active Ink Slinger
As far as im concerned. anything you do that you feel the need to hide is cheating.
If your hiding something, be it as simple as watching porn or as full on as a fully blown affair to the point of a second life, then you must think that your partner wouldnt want you to do it or you dont want your partner to know your doing it which is always wrong. Doing anything to make your partner feel betrayed to me is cheating.
If your special someone is ok with you doing it then obviously it wouldnt be, i think its totaly different depending on who your with.
If your hiding something, be it as simple as watching porn or as full on as a fully blown affair to the point of a second life, then you must think that your partner wouldnt want you to do it or you dont want your partner to know your doing it which is always wrong. Doing anything to make your partner feel betrayed to me is cheating.
If your special someone is ok with you doing it then obviously it wouldnt be, i think its totaly different depending on who your with.
Wild at Heart
If your cyber-girlfriend told you not to cyber-fuck any other cyber-hoes then, in that situation, it's cheating.
Also, if my girlfriend was cybering with like my best friend (real life best friend and girlfriend) then I'd be pissed. Because I know they want to fuck each other and are probably about to soon.
Other than that, no.
Also, if my girlfriend was cybering with like my best friend (real life best friend and girlfriend) then I'd be pissed. Because I know they want to fuck each other and are probably about to soon.
Other than that, no.
Active Ink Slinger
If you're actively hiding it, or wondering whether you should be doing it- you probably shouldn't be doing it.
The thing is, it doesn't matter what YOU consider cheating, because it's your partner's point of view you need to look at. If they consider it unfaithful, then it is, because they are the person your actions will affect.
Personally, if I am in a serious relationship, I don't mind casual cyber play, so long as I know about it. If my partner is logging back on at the same time regularly to cyber fuck the same person... that's when I have a problem.
The thing is, it doesn't matter what YOU consider cheating, because it's your partner's point of view you need to look at. If they consider it unfaithful, then it is, because they are the person your actions will affect.
Personally, if I am in a serious relationship, I don't mind casual cyber play, so long as I know about it. If my partner is logging back on at the same time regularly to cyber fuck the same person... that's when I have a problem.
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Active Ink Slinger
This is a toughy.
I tend to make my decisions on "if the shoe was on the other foot" philosiphy.
And in this case, if i found out my other half was cybering I would probably be upset but then, when I do it it's not because I'm not satisfied by my partner or that I love him any less. It's exciting and fun and of similar rank to watching porn. I guess it just makes playing with your bits a bit more fun LOL.
So no, I don't think I do consider it cheating. I'm not actually shagging anyone, it's just masturbating..... right???
teehee xxx
I tend to make my decisions on "if the shoe was on the other foot" philosiphy.
And in this case, if i found out my other half was cybering I would probably be upset but then, when I do it it's not because I'm not satisfied by my partner or that I love him any less. It's exciting and fun and of similar rank to watching porn. I guess it just makes playing with your bits a bit more fun LOL.
So no, I don't think I do consider it cheating. I'm not actually shagging anyone, it's just masturbating..... right???
teehee xxx
Wild at Heart
Quote by cherryrebel
This is a toughy.
I tend to make my decisions on "if the shoe was on the other foot" philosiphy.
And in this case, if i found out my other half was cybering I would probably be upset but then, when I do it it's not because I'm not satisfied by my partner or that I love him any less. It's exciting and fun and of similar rank to watching porn. I guess it just makes playing with your bits a bit more fun LOL.
So no, I don't think I do consider it cheating. I'm not actually shagging anyone, it's just masturbating..... right???
teehee xxx
Well, It is just masturbating... But with another person. I wouldn't care if my girl did it but I think she would be annoyed if she thought I was cyberying instead of having sex with her. That would be a problem I'm sure.
Isn't cybersex essentially the same thing as flirting? If you have cyberchats with let's say... A girl/boy your current spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend/whatever and you both have flirtatious convs and you do the cybersex thing, that is cheating is it not?
Porn is different, because there is no direct contact with another person, but I suppose if its of a local person, then your significant other would have some issues. But every girl I've dated didn't mind me watching porn.
Porn is different, because there is no direct contact with another person, but I suppose if its of a local person, then your significant other would have some issues. But every girl I've dated didn't mind me watching porn.
Active Ink Slinger
The heart knows. Just ask it. : )
Torture the data long enough and they will confess to anything.
I lean toward yes, for the simple fact that it's a sexual act involving a person to whom you're not committed. Debate how "real" it is all you want, but you're still engaging in sexual activity with someone other than your boy/girlfriend. That's why I specifically put the fact that I don't cyber on my profile; I'll chat with people, make friends and exchange dirty stories, but actual cybering is a line I will not cross because of the love I have for my girlfriend.
Active Ink Slinger
not at all, unless the relationship is purely cyber