"1.He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it, and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it."
Joseph Romm, Washington
2."She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again."
Rich Murphy, Fairfax Station
3."The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't."
Russell Beland, Springfield
4."McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag filled with vegetable soup."
Paul Sabourin, Silver Spring
5."From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and 'Jeopardy' comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30."
Roy Ashley, Washington
6."Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze."
Chuck Smith, Woodbridge
7."Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center."
Russell Beland, Springfield
8."Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to access T:flw.quid55328.com\aaakk/ch@ung but gets T:\flw.quidaaakk/ch@ung by mistake."
Ken Krattenmaker, Landover Hills
9."Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever."
Unknown
10."He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree."
Jack Bross, Chevy Chase
11."The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease."
Gary F. Hevel, Silver Spring
12."Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like 'Second Tall Man.'"
Russell Beland, Springfield
13."Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph."
Jennifer Hart, Arlington
14."The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can."
Wayne Goode, Madison, Ala.
15."They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth."
Paul Kocak, Syracuse, N.Y.
16."John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met."
Russell Beland, Springfield
17."The thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play."
Barbara Fetherolf, Alexandria
18."His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free."
Chuck Smith, Woodbridge
19."The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon."
Unknown
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Worst Analogies Ever Written
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Advanced Wordsmith
can you number them please
coz i like 3, 4, 9, 16 and the last one
might use them in one of my numerous esaays
coz i like 3, 4, 9, 16 and the last one
might use them in one of my numerous esaays
*~*xX/ ;) i'm not joking/Xx*~*
Matriarch
These analogies are superb, like some superby thing 
There's whole sites out there dedicated to them - I like this one:
"Oh, Jason, take me!"; she panted, her breasts heaving like a college freshman on $1-a-beer night.
There's whole sites out there dedicated to them - I like this one:
"Oh, Jason, take me!"; she panted, her breasts heaving like a college freshman on $1-a-beer night.
Advanced Wordsmith
thankyou for the numbers 
and lol
we used to play it at school
''Rosie laughs like a hyena on happy pills in happy town, on happy day!''
she actually sounded like a moose snorting up it's breakfast through it's nose!
sorry... graphic...
and lol
we used to play it at school
''Rosie laughs like a hyena on happy pills in happy town, on happy day!''
she actually sounded like a moose snorting up it's breakfast through it's nose!
sorry... graphic...
*~*xX/ ;) i'm not joking/Xx*~*
Active Ink Slinger
Okay, the rest of them are hilarious, but...
That's actually quite smart and funny, isn't it?
...
Well, I think it is!
12."Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like 'Second Tall Man.'"
Russell Beland, Springfield
That's actually quite smart and funny, isn't it?
...
Well, I think it is!
Knight Of Passion: The Man, The Legend, The Blog - and now, The Podcast!
Advanced Wordsmith
Quote by KnightOfPassion
Okay, the rest of them are hilarious, but...
12."Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like 'Second Tall Man.'"
Russell Beland, Springfield
That's actually quite smart and funny, isn't it?
...
Well, I think it is!
I think so. Hmmm...great minds think alike, I suppose.
The naughtiest Nymph this side of the forest.
Last submitted a story: March 12, 2008
Last submitted a story: March 12, 2008
Active Ink Slinger
This is late on the thread, but I thought
"The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can."
Was way too clever to be in with the stupid ones. I wish I'd thought of that one!
"The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can."
Was way too clever to be in with the stupid ones. I wish I'd thought of that one!
Active Ink Slinger
My favorite comes from an old Damon Wayons movie - Major Payne: "I'll be on you like white on rice in a bed of mashed potatoes on a paper plate in the middle of a blizzard at a Ku Klux Klan rally..."