Quote by Weavindreams
Hey There Tex!
This here's yer ole drinkin' buddy, you remember me, Gomer Pyle's cousin Giveya?! Well the thang is, that silly lil twat I been a seein' done tolt me she wanted ta spice up our screwin' cause it jest wasn't hot enuf fer her anymore. SOOO, I done jest what she'd asked fer, I poured me about a half a bottle a Tabasco sauce on the ole whanger and shoved it up the dirt road. Wimmin! I tell ya it don't matter what they say they don't mean it! Now all she's a doin' is a whinin' and complainin' that it was TOO HOT! Jest how the Hell am I supposed ta satisfy her right when she don't know what the Hell she wants? (Answer this one fer me and I'll buy yer next six pack down at the Shamble Inn Bar, Grill and Cathouse.)
Yer ole Buddy Giveya Pyles (Gomer never could spell work a damn!)
Dear Hot Rod,
I see you’re still an illiterate fuck and have a hard time reading directions. How the fuck am I supposed to answer your call if you don’t dial the number, you bass-ackwards redneck dipshit? Next time quote a next caller post or I’m gonna steal your girl and send you pictures of me fuckin’ her and your sister in the back seat of your prized, classic Camaro you got on blocks out behind the trailer. I’ll have your Mom take the pics while she’s not busy cupping my balls, rinsin’ jizz off your sis with the water hose, or stroking your girlfriends hair while she sobs uncontrollably from the newly formed cracks in her soul.
Anyway, I’m gonna answer this one for you and when I get through you’ll be buyin’ that sixer AND throwin’ in my favorite whore down at the Shamble Inn.
The thing is, women do know what they want sexually. They just want to live under the delusion that their chosen hardon-draggin’-around-a-body is deep and sensitive enough to figure it out on his own. They desperately hope that he will pick up on subtle little cues that hint at what she wants and desires. They all do it. Never met an exception yet. They all also deny that they do it. Claim to be upfront and honest. Lemme tell ya pardner, they’re fulla shit as a Christmas turkey.
So, I could tell ya how to read those cues, find her little lust buttons, and make her the happiest trailer-tramp in three counties. But I say fuck that, I’ll do ya one better. I’m gonna tell ya how to mind fuck her into wanting what you want the little slut to want. Before you know it, you’ll have her doing shit that wouldn’t even cross the mind of a two dollar whore that couldn’t make change for a hundred dollar bill. Certainly gonna be a lot more fun than some silly hot-sauce trick.
What I’m offering here is the chance to turn your little poverty-level princess into the filthiest fuck-toy you can possibly imagine…because the limits of your imagination are the only limits to how far she’ll degrade herself for the pleasure of getting to be your little cum-dumpster. And the best part? She’ll think it’s all her idea and she’ll be the happiest little trailer-tramp in three counties.
Only thing is that what I’m gonna tell you is entirely too dangerous to fall into the hands of the general public. If every swingin’ dick out there figures this out, the world will change forever. Men will be back in control and women will be reduced to roving packs of depraved sluts, foaming at the mouth and searching out anything stiff that they can rub up against. So, you’re gonna have to PM me for the details and you have to promise to keep the secrets and techniques under your hat there, hillbilly. Specially around the trailer park because you ignorant fucks are already outbreeding the rest of us as it is.
Hope to hear from you soon, cuz I’m just dying to share this secret…I been keeping it a long time and it’s time to pass the knowledge. Hope it helps, and as always, thanks for playin’ along.
XXXOOO
Tex