There once was a lady named Alice
Who used TNT for a phallus
They found her vagina in North Carolina
And her rectum in Buckingham Palace!
There once was a man from Racine
Who'd invented a fucking machine
It could fuck either sex, concave or convex
But oh, what a bitch to clean!
A stunning young maid from Aberystwyth
Would take grain to the mill to grind grist with
The millers son Jack
Laid her flat on her back
And united the organs they pissed with
Said a busy young whore known as Mable
Who at fucking was willing and able
"It's a pity to waste
All that juicy white paste"
So she served it in bowls at the table
A lovely young woman from France
Boarded a train in a trance.
The Engineer fucked her
So did the Conductor,
But the Brakeman just came in his pants...
.
There once was a man named McNair
Who liked fucking his girl on the stair.
The bannister broke,
So he quickened his stroke...
And finished her off in mid-air!
Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
There once was a site named Lush,
With hot stories that'll make you blush,
As I started to read,
I felt a great need,
To stroke till I started to gush.
Not exactly a limerick but in similar vein, this one was doing the rounds of Aussie Primary (elemenary) schools circa 1976 :
My mate Billy
Had a ten foot willy.
He showed it to the girl next door.
She thought it was a snake
And hit it with the rake
And now it's only two foot four.
There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose cock was so long he could suck it
He said with a grin Wiping sperm from his chin
If my ear was a cunt I could Fuck it!
very good...
