During one of her daily classes a teacher trying to teach good manners asked her students the following question:
"Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?
Michael said, "Just a minute I have to go pee."
The teacher responded by saying, "That would be rude and impolite
What about you Peter, how would you say it?"
Peter said, "I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back."
"That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table.
And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?"
"I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to go shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope you'll get to meet after dinner."
That is wonderfully ridiculous.
Love me. Cuff me. Spank me. Fuck me.
I love little Johnny jokes. I had a friend who literally was little Johnny, it was amazing running around with him growing up.
A teacher was trying to teach her kids at school one day about the proper way to use the word "DEFINITELY". She asked the class to give her some examples and she would let them know if it was correct or not.
A little girl in the front one said, "The sky is definitely blue".
"Well," the teacher said, "that's not entirely correct. Sometimes the sky is cloudy and gray."
A little boy in the back said, "Grass is definitely green."
"That's not entirely correct either," the teacher said, "If it doesn't rain, the grass will dry up and become brown."
Another little boy chimed in, "Do farts have lumps?"
The teacher was taken back by his rudeness, "No they don't," she responded, "And that's not proper discussion during class."
The kid replied, "Then I definitely shit my pants".
