1. My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory, but I got canned. Couldn't concentrate.
2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
3. After that, I tried being a Tailor, but wasn't suited for it -- mainly because it was a sew-sew job.
4. Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but that was too exhausting.
5. Then, tried being a Chef - figured it would add a little spice to my life, but just didn't have the thyme.
6. Next, I attempted being a Deli Worker, but any way I sliced it... couldn't cut the mustard.
7. My best job was a Musician, but eventually found I wasn't noteworthy.
8. I studied a long time to become a Doctor, but didn't have any patience.
9. Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory. Tried hard but just didn't fit in.
10. I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered I couldn't live on my net income.
11. Managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company, but the work was just too draining.
12. So then I got a job in a Workout Center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
13. After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a Historian - until I realized there was no future in it.
14. My last job was working in Starbucks, but had to quit because it was always the same old grind.
15. SO, I TRIED Retirement AND FOUND I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!
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Matriarch
I worked on the oil rigs for a while, but it was too boring.
I tried working as a steeplejack, but wasn't up to it.
Ok, I gave it 10 seconds thought, let's hear them
Matriarch
for some creative answers. 
Active Ink Slinger
I worked for Goodyear but I found the work tiring.
Active Ink Slinger
I worked for a gunsmith for a while, but they fired me because I came in loaded all the time.
I had to pull out of the job at planned parenthood because I couldn't stop coming in.
I had to pull out of the job at planned parenthood because I couldn't stop coming in.
Matriarch
Good ones.I worked at an Opticians, but they fired me for making a spectacle of myself.
Active Ink Slinger
I tried being a fireman, but things got too heated sometimes.
Forget who you thought I was, I'm The Chris J bitch!
Matriarch
I worked as a plumber, but they pulled the plug on my position.
Matriarch
I got a job as a trucker, but it ended up driving me round the bend.
Active Ink Slinger
I tryed being a professional golfer, but couldn't get into the swing of things.
Matriarch
I worked in a wind farm for a while, but was blown away by the responsibility.
Matriarch
I worked as a food critic for a few months, but it left me fed up.
Matriarch
I worked as a Viticulturalist for a while, but couldn't stand all the wining.
Active Ink Slinger
I found employment as a public accountant, but the work was just too taxing.
"I can resist everything except temptation." - Oscar Wilde
Active Ink Slinger
My first job was as a vacuum repairer, but it sucked.
Ferte in noctem animam meam, Illustre stelle viam meam. Aspectu illo glorior, Dum capit nox diem. Cantate vitae canticu, Sine dolore acte, Dicite eis quos amabam, Numquam obliviscar.
Active Ink Slinger
I landed a gig as train conductor, but it didn't end well - they rode me out of town on a rail.
"I can resist everything except temptation." - Oscar Wilde
Matriarch
I got a job as a taxidermist, but in the end told them to get stuffed.
Advanced Wordsmith
i tried bull riding but it only lasted 8 seconds, that goes for all the riders on the rodeo circit
save a horse ride a cowboy
Smiley Guru
I stepped into an elevator repair job. It had it's ups and downs, but I eventually got the shaft.
I also worked on a weapons testing range, that job was a blast, only my boss was a short fused hothead and one day he just blew up.
There was that job at the burrito factory, where we wrapped up work every day at 5:00. Too bad I was fooling around with the bosses daughter's taco. It was either roll, or get smothered.
Then there was the job replacing manhole covers. There is a job that keeps a lid on gratitude. No one notices till you miss just one. That was a real pothole on my resume.
The Ski Patrol seemed like it would be an easy ride to the top, but what I found out after running into a mogul was that the I wasn't on the inside and it was all downhill from there.
Photography seemed like it would be a snap, but it never really clicked and I was plagued by indecent exposure problems. One day I just had a flash and decided to put the lens cap on that career.
I wanted to be a lawn mower, but just couldn't cut it.
I had a job as a garbage man, but that job stunk, and I got dumped.
Next I got a bright idea, I found a job changing light bulbs. I got so burned out on that job, one day I just went out.
I did a bit as a comedy writer. Everyone loved my jokes so much that my boss tried a joke of his own. I had to exit after I saw that paycheck before I showed him a real punchline.
I also worked on a weapons testing range, that job was a blast, only my boss was a short fused hothead and one day he just blew up.
There was that job at the burrito factory, where we wrapped up work every day at 5:00. Too bad I was fooling around with the bosses daughter's taco. It was either roll, or get smothered.
Then there was the job replacing manhole covers. There is a job that keeps a lid on gratitude. No one notices till you miss just one. That was a real pothole on my resume.
The Ski Patrol seemed like it would be an easy ride to the top, but what I found out after running into a mogul was that the I wasn't on the inside and it was all downhill from there.
Photography seemed like it would be a snap, but it never really clicked and I was plagued by indecent exposure problems. One day I just had a flash and decided to put the lens cap on that career.
I wanted to be a lawn mower, but just couldn't cut it.
I had a job as a garbage man, but that job stunk, and I got dumped.
Next I got a bright idea, I found a job changing light bulbs. I got so burned out on that job, one day I just went out.
I did a bit as a comedy writer. Everyone loved my jokes so much that my boss tried a joke of his own. I had to exit after I saw that paycheck before I showed him a real punchline.
Matriarch
I do love the corny puns. 
Active Ink Slinger
i wanted to be a carpenter, but i always came to work hammerd
Active Ink Slinger
I worked for a bit packing parachutes, but my habit of leaving loose strings left a lot of people grabbing at nothing but air
"I can resist everything except temptation." - Oscar Wilde
Matriarch
I tried to keep my job as a motor mechanic, but should have known it would be a non-starter.
Matriarch
I gave up work ironing clothes, it was too pressing.
Matriarch
I worked as an undertaker, but got buried by all the deadlines.
Matriarch
I thought my career as a florist would blossom, but it ended up being a thorn in my side.
Active Ink Slinger
I worked for a while as a brassiere salesman, but my co-workers were all boobs, I never really fit in, and finally had to bust out of there.
Matriarch
^LOL.
Funny you should say that Monocle, I worked selling men's underwear for a brief time, but my boss was a right dick.
I worked as a vet too, but my boss kept putting me down.
Funny you should say that Monocle, I worked selling men's underwear for a brief time, but my boss was a right dick.
I worked as a vet too, but my boss kept putting me down.
Active Ink Slinger
I tryed being a professional soccer player, but after awhile i got kicked off the team, then tryed being a locksmith but had to pick another job
Matriarch
I got a job in the hospital testing vaccine methods, but it turned out to be a real pain in the bum.